BOBBY JINDAL IS THE CHOSEN ONE?  2:39 pm July 28, 2010

Republican Governors Make a Movie Trailer Thing Too

by Jack Stuef

OH MY GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE IF REPUBLICANS DO NOT KILL ALL OF THESE DEMOCRAT SPACE MONSTERS BEFORE THEIR MOTHERSHIP COMES! Yes, like the Democratic Governors Association, the RGA has come up with a movie trailer for this election to rile up their base. And it actually has much higher production value than the Democrats’ movie-thing? And it’s hosted on Vimeo? Oh no, they must have captured a librul and whipped him until he made them this video!

THIS IS THE BATTLE FOR FUCKING HUMANITY ITSELF, YOU GUYS.

Republican governors have never blown up an asteroid this big, but they did blow up New Jersey and Virginia, so they will give it a try. Help us, Republican governors! You’re our only hope!

And as this is a blockbuster movie, it will have a happy ending. Our nation will no longer be “governed by politicians in Washington, D.C.” after this election, you see! It will be governed by 600 Will Smiths wearing sunglasses, and they will live on the Moon. [Vimeo]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 40 comments }

OCKerouac July 28, 2010 at 2:46 pm

That’s no moon… It’s the HEAD OF A BLACK MAN!!

dedalus July 28, 2010 at 2:47 pm

It’s like Avatar without the blue people.

just pixels July 28, 2010 at 2:50 pm

Yep it was too many years. Let’s see, Bush was prez for 8 years. GOP controlled the House for 12 years, Senate for 10 years. Those bastards!

It’s refreshing to hear the Republicans’ fresh new ideas to compete with the Demon-crats. Like … um … maybe it’s…. OK I’ll vote for the first Republican to say how they’ll solve an actual problem. Anybody … anybody ….

Extemporanus July 28, 2010 at 2:54 pm

You know what else happens after 14 weeks?

Your unborn baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb!

ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

mumblyjoe July 28, 2010 at 2:54 pm

[re=627522]dedalus[/re]: Well this ad’s probably going to play heavily on FNC, so only 1.38% of blue people are going to see it, anyway.

Scaggsvillain July 28, 2010 at 2:55 pm

The Obamapocalypse!!!!

This creepy trailer certainly captures the insidious nature of President Obama’s latent Marxism.

“A chill wind is blowing in this nation.”
-Tim Robbins

V572625694 July 28, 2010 at 2:57 pm

They’re pretty fixated on the “rammed down our throats” metaphor. Wonder if that has any psychological significance. Or as Josh puts it, “I don’t want [gays, health care for the Poors, whatever] rammed down my throat” is a coded way of saying “I don’t want [things I've been told not to like] to be allowed to exist.”

Senator Bateman July 28, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Meanwhile, Gandhi rolls in his grave.

mumblyjoe July 28, 2010 at 2:58 pm

Or, because I’m not actually innumerate, only 1.38% of FNC’s audience is blue people. whatever.

JMP July 28, 2010 at 2:59 pm

There’s lots of nice out-of-context quotes there. Did Breitbart edit this?

But it’s a good comeback to Pelosi’s promise for an ethical congress to point out there’s one guy who’s probably corrupt. And who the House Democrats are trying to kick out.

Way Cool Larry July 28, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Jesus Fucking Christ, how many false claims, hyperbolic claims, non-sequitors and misleading video edits can you cram into one 2 and a half minute video?

Though I do love the sheer audacity of the idea that fucking Rethug governors are gonna save humanity’s ass.

ManchuCandidate July 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm

Yes, let’s save US America from the Demoncraps so the GOPers can destroy it.

bfstevie July 28, 2010 at 3:08 pm

[re=627539]JMP[/re]: Funny, too, that when they point to a corrupt Dem, all he’s doing is avoiding some taxes, in contrast to our old pals like the Dukester and all those Abramoffis.

OCKerouac July 28, 2010 at 3:09 pm

It’s also a no-brainer that if you have a problem with Congress, your GOVERNOR will solve it for you.

Can Charlie Rangel draft a bill requiring that all politicians take a rudimentary Civics course?

M Lite July 28, 2010 at 3:09 pm

For too long = Just the last year and a half, please forget the previous eight years, thanx!

SayItWithWookies July 28, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Did these guys notice that the person at the pivot point in this trailer — where it goes from the dire, awful present to the sunny, cheerful, hopeful future — is Newt Gingrich? Or that Governor Bob McDonnell, one of their up-and-coming stars, recently said the James River might be too clean? Or that Bobby Jindal runs around complaining about how the Federal government doesn’t do enough for Louisiana while doling out big stimulus checks whose origins he casually conceals? I really hope these freaks get the change they deserve in November — the screaming outrage over voter fraud will be almost unbearable, but it’ll be worth it.

BigWhiteCloud July 28, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Instead of a NSFW tag, could y’all possibly consider a DWIFHO tag? That’s “Don’t Watch If Hung Over.” Thank you.

Failed 2 Menace July 28, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Whose idea was it to trot out Newt in this thing? God shots of Rick Perry and Bobby Jindal I can understand, as the group surely wants them to keep payin their dues, but Newt? How does he help the sell?

How I would have loved to be on hand for the discussion of whether to include Palin.

Oh, and what’s with the half second of horse racing footage? Lookit the ponies’ legs race!

freakishlystrong July 28, 2010 at 3:15 pm

I can’[t believe they didn’t include Boss Hogg Barbour describing the oil slick as “food mousse”. They missed a really selling point there.

Cicada July 28, 2010 at 3:16 pm

For too long, our nation has been governed by politicians in Washington D.C.

So the argument here is that we should move Congress back to Philadelphia?

Failed 2 Menace July 28, 2010 at 3:16 pm

[re=627555]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I was a little surprised they didn’t include footage of Jindal mocking the unconscionable expenditure of monies this country allows for volcano monitoring, and b-roll it with the footage of Europe gulping down some Icelandic ash.

Oh, wait. That’s for the Democrats’ trailer.

Neilist July 28, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Needs more Bruce Willis.

[re=627518]OCKerouac[/re]: Win. (Not just First Post. But Win, too.]

Neilist
July 28, 2010 Wonkette “Win!” Winner, Regardless of What BitchInCamaro says.

“To you from failing hands we toss
The torch; be yours to hold it high . . . .”

Failed 2 Menace July 28, 2010 at 3:25 pm

If they really wanted to win hearts and minds, they would have dressed Jodi Rell up like Columbia Pictures’ Miss Liberty logo and run that right off the top.

MOG July 28, 2010 at 3:32 pm

Remain calm, all will be well when the GOP GOVs come riding into town on their big white horses, leaping to the ground with a flourish, handing the reins to some poor brown person wearing a uniform, while scraping the mud off their shiny jackboots on his back. It will be so good to have them back *fluttering eyelashes demurely”.

Potater July 28, 2010 at 3:33 pm

“But President Obama, we don’t want you to destroy the moon!”
“What do you think a Stimulus is?!”

Hooray For Anything July 28, 2010 at 3:33 pm

I like the part where they brag about all the awesome construction gigs they’ve brought to their over the past two years thanks to the magical elves who were handing them out.

GOPCrusher July 28, 2010 at 3:35 pm

I guess the results of the 2008 election was wrong, since they’ve told America everyday since then that this is not what we want.
Thank God we have the Republiklan Party to guide us back onto the path of fiscal responsibility.
It would have been a nice touch to show Piyush Jindal on his knees sucking Obama off for some Federal funds to help with the oil spill clean up.

frailamerica July 28, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Did they say that “humanity’s best asset” are U.S. citizens?

Little Magic July 28, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Worst sequel to Nine 1/2 Weeks ever.

themercenary July 28, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Meh, needs more confederate flags.

bago July 28, 2010 at 4:48 pm

I loved the ominous Pelosi quote: “We will have health care, one way or another”.

whiterabid July 28, 2010 at 5:00 pm

The worst thing about the video is that there is no button to turn it off once it starts. Is that some sort of foreshadowing?

grendel July 28, 2010 at 5:07 pm

[re=627536]V572625694[/re]: I think they secretly do want the gays rammed down their throats… in an airport bathroom

FlownOver July 28, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Bids fair to overtake “Battlefield Earth” for Documentary of the Ages.

LakeLucilleLoon July 28, 2010 at 6:24 pm

States rights! (Civil War 3D?) Too many brown people and asians for this truly to be about the GOP…also too, I spied a ginger, surely they are not accepted by the right.

LakeLucilleLoon July 28, 2010 at 6:26 pm

Had to say just one more thing, I guess that the RGA did not learn anything about the dangers of editing from Andrew Breitbart.

DC Hates Me July 28, 2010 at 9:01 pm

They stole my movie script. Dust covered zombies are the heroes of the movie, while cute, happy people (the enemy) are lured to their brain-eaten death. 14 Weeks Later.

imissopus July 28, 2010 at 9:24 pm

[re=627539]JMP[/re]: Yeah, I had the same thought. How many years was Rangel in a Republican-controlled Congress before the Dems have now made him come to Jesus?

MilwaukeeKent July 28, 2010 at 9:30 pm

The GOP has to scrap this whole panic-attack, sky-is-falling approach and go counterintuitive. Across the board, in every campaign this fall, they need only one message, just one:

“We got you into this mess, we can get you out.”

lulzmonger July 28, 2010 at 9:52 pm

I kept waiting for the first solid fact to come up – good thing I wasn’t holding my breath or I’d be dead now.

“If these job numbers keep improving, soon America as we know it will be DESTROYED! Quick, call in Newt & The Gooper Squad before it’s too late!”

You just KNOW the sequel is gonna suck major balls.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: