bobby jindal is the chosen one?

Republican Governors Make a Movie Trailer Thing Too

OH MY GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE IF REPUBLICANS DO NOT KILL ALL OF THESE DEMOCRAT SPACE MONSTERS BEFORE THEIR MOTHERSHIP COMES! Yes, like the Democratic Governors Association, the RGA has come up with a movie trailer for this election to rile up their base. And it actually has much higher production value than the Democrats’ movie-thing? And it’s hosted on Vimeo? Oh no, they must have captured a librul and whipped him until he made them this video!

THIS IS THE BATTLE FOR FUCKING HUMANITY ITSELF, YOU GUYS.

Republican governors have never blown up an asteroid this big, but they did blow up New Jersey and Virginia, so they will give it a try. Help us, Republican governors! You’re our only hope!

And as this is a blockbuster movie, it will have a happy ending. Our nation will no longer be “governed by politicians in Washington, D.C.” after this election, you see! It will be governed by 600 Will Smiths wearing sunglasses, and they will live on the Moon. [Vimeo]

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40 comments

  1. just pixels

    Yep it was too many years. Let’s see, Bush was prez for 8 years. GOP controlled the House for 12 years, Senate for 10 years. Those bastards!

    It’s refreshing to hear the Republicans’ fresh new ideas to compete with the Demon-crats. Like … um … maybe it’s…. OK I’ll vote for the first Republican to say how they’ll solve an actual problem. Anybody … anybody ….

  2. Extemporanus

    You know what else happens after 14 weeks?

    Your unborn baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb!

    ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

  3. mumblyjoe

    [re=627522]dedalus[/re]: Well this ad’s probably going to play heavily on FNC, so only 1.38% of blue people are going to see it, anyway.

  4. Scaggsvillain

    The Obamapocalypse!!!!

    This creepy trailer certainly captures the insidious nature of President Obama’s latent Marxism.

    “A chill wind is blowing in this nation.”
    -Tim Robbins

  5. V572625694

    They’re pretty fixated on the “rammed down our throats” metaphor. Wonder if that has any psychological significance. Or as Josh puts it, “I don’t want [gays, health care for the Poors, whatever] rammed down my throat” is a coded way of saying “I don’t want [things I've been told not to like] to be allowed to exist.”

  6. mumblyjoe

    Or, because I’m not actually innumerate, only 1.38% of FNC’s audience is blue people. whatever.

  7. JMP

    There’s lots of nice out-of-context quotes there. Did Breitbart edit this?

    But it’s a good comeback to Pelosi’s promise for an ethical congress to point out there’s one guy who’s probably corrupt. And who the House Democrats are trying to kick out.

  8. Way Cool Larry

    Jesus Fucking Christ, how many false claims, hyperbolic claims, non-sequitors and misleading video edits can you cram into one 2 and a half minute video?

    Though I do love the sheer audacity of the idea that fucking Rethug governors are gonna save humanity’s ass.

  9. ManchuCandidate

    Yes, let’s save US America from the Demoncraps so the GOPers can destroy it.

  10. bfstevie

    [re=627539]JMP[/re]: Funny, too, that when they point to a corrupt Dem, all he’s doing is avoiding some taxes, in contrast to our old pals like the Dukester and all those Abramoffis.

  11. OCKerouac

    It’s also a no-brainer that if you have a problem with Congress, your GOVERNOR will solve it for you.

    Can Charlie Rangel draft a bill requiring that all politicians take a rudimentary Civics course?

  12. M Lite

    For too long = Just the last year and a half, please forget the previous eight years, thanx!

  13. SayItWithWookies

    Did these guys notice that the person at the pivot point in this trailer — where it goes from the dire, awful present to the sunny, cheerful, hopeful future — is Newt Gingrich? Or that Governor Bob McDonnell, one of their up-and-coming stars, recently said the James River might be too clean? Or that Bobby Jindal runs around complaining about how the Federal government doesn’t do enough for Louisiana while doling out big stimulus checks whose origins he casually conceals? I really hope these freaks get the change they deserve in November — the screaming outrage over voter fraud will be almost unbearable, but it’ll be worth it.

  14. BigWhiteCloud

    Instead of a NSFW tag, could y’all possibly consider a DWIFHO tag? That’s “Don’t Watch If Hung Over.” Thank you.

  15. Failed 2 Menace

    Whose idea was it to trot out Newt in this thing? God shots of Rick Perry and Bobby Jindal I can understand, as the group surely wants them to keep payin their dues, but Newt? How does he help the sell?

    How I would have loved to be on hand for the discussion of whether to include Palin.

    Oh, and what’s with the half second of horse racing footage? Lookit the ponies’ legs race!

  16. freakishlystrong

    I can’[t believe they didn’t include Boss Hogg Barbour describing the oil slick as “food mousse”. They missed a really selling point there.

  17. Cicada

    For too long, our nation has been governed by politicians in Washington D.C.

    So the argument here is that we should move Congress back to Philadelphia?

  18. Failed 2 Menace

    [re=627555]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I was a little surprised they didn’t include footage of Jindal mocking the unconscionable expenditure of monies this country allows for volcano monitoring, and b-roll it with the footage of Europe gulping down some Icelandic ash.

    Oh, wait. That’s for the Democrats’ trailer.

  19. Neilist

    Needs more Bruce Willis.

    [re=627518]OCKerouac[/re]: Win. (Not just First Post. But Win, too.]

    Neilist
    July 28, 2010 Wonkette “Win!” Winner, Regardless of What BitchInCamaro says.

    “To you from failing hands we toss
    The torch; be yours to hold it high . . . .”

  20. Failed 2 Menace

    If they really wanted to win hearts and minds, they would have dressed Jodi Rell up like Columbia Pictures’ Miss Liberty logo and run that right off the top.

  21. MOG

    Remain calm, all will be well when the GOP GOVs come riding into town on their big white horses, leaping to the ground with a flourish, handing the reins to some poor brown person wearing a uniform, while scraping the mud off their shiny jackboots on his back. It will be so good to have them back *fluttering eyelashes demurely”.

  22. Potater

    “But President Obama, we don’t want you to destroy the moon!”
    “What do you think a Stimulus is?!”

  23. Hooray For Anything

    I like the part where they brag about all the awesome construction gigs they’ve brought to their over the past two years thanks to the magical elves who were handing them out.

  24. GOPCrusher

    I guess the results of the 2008 election was wrong, since they’ve told America everyday since then that this is not what we want.
    Thank God we have the Republiklan Party to guide us back onto the path of fiscal responsibility.
    It would have been a nice touch to show Piyush Jindal on his knees sucking Obama off for some Federal funds to help with the oil spill clean up.

  25. whiterabid

    The worst thing about the video is that there is no button to turn it off once it starts. Is that some sort of foreshadowing?

  26. grendel

    [re=627536]V572625694[/re]: I think they secretly do want the gays rammed down their throats… in an airport bathroom

  27. LakeLucilleLoon

    States rights! (Civil War 3D?) Too many brown people and asians for this truly to be about the GOP…also too, I spied a ginger, surely they are not accepted by the right.

  28. LakeLucilleLoon

    Had to say just one more thing, I guess that the RGA did not learn anything about the dangers of editing from Andrew Breitbart.

  29. DC Hates Me

    They stole my movie script. Dust covered zombies are the heroes of the movie, while cute, happy people (the enemy) are lured to their brain-eaten death. 14 Weeks Later.

  30. imissopus

    [re=627539]JMP[/re]: Yeah, I had the same thought. How many years was Rangel in a Republican-controlled Congress before the Dems have now made him come to Jesus?

  31. MilwaukeeKent

    The GOP has to scrap this whole panic-attack, sky-is-falling approach and go counterintuitive. Across the board, in every campaign this fall, they need only one message, just one:

    “We got you into this mess, we can get you out.”

  32. lulzmonger

    I kept waiting for the first solid fact to come up – good thing I wasn’t holding my breath or I’d be dead now.

    “If these job numbers keep improving, soon America as we know it will be DESTROYED! Quick, call in Newt & The Gooper Squad before it’s too late!”

    You just KNOW the sequel is gonna suck major balls.

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