OILY PELICANS  10:27 am July 29, 2010

Happy 100th Birthday, Deepwater Horizon!

by Garrett Quinn

  • I hope Palin's roving gang of Mama Grizzlies doesn't eat me.Remember the Islands of Doctor Jindal? Well it turns out that the future president of ‘Merica may be wrong after all. Washington elites Several scientists from local universities and aquatic research centers have signed letters and sent postcards saying he is an idiot who likes to wear fur coats while looking good on the teevee. [New Orleans Times-Picayune]
  • Officials say that because everything is now “back to normal,” they’re going to remove containment booms across the region before hurricane season really takes off. [Mobile Press-Register]
  • Guess what happens when the tax code is so dense and complex that only big corporations with armies of lawyers and accountants can understand it? Give up? BP is expected to take advantage of the extremely complex federal tax labyrinths and claim a $10 billion tax credit. [Market Watch]
  • OH GREAT! Another farking oil spill in the farking Gulf of farking Mexico. Why don’t we just kill everything and light what’s left on fire? [Biloxi Sun Herald]
  • One of the largest oil spills (840,000 gallons) in the history of the Midwest is threatening Lake Michigan. Uhh. [Detroit Free Press]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 23 comments }

Lazy Media July 29, 2010 at 10:31 am

Meh. Little spills like this happen all the time in oil-producing areas, something the oil companies would rather you not know. Fortunately, capping a well in a shallow lake is a relative piece of cake.

Lazy Media July 29, 2010 at 10:34 am

So, the Deepwater Oil spill is definitely Obama’s Katrina, in that it was handled competently and relatively quickly, and action is being taken to ensure it doesn’t happen again. An Obama Katrina and a Bush Katrina are VERY different things.

actor212 July 29, 2010 at 10:35 am

Whatever you do…

DON’T LIGHT THE CANDLES ON THE CAKE!

eyegoneblack July 29, 2010 at 10:36 am

“farking”?

You know, here on Wonkette, I believe it’s okay to say fuck. The FCC hasn’t found (or fined) Layne yet.

SayItWithWookies July 29, 2010 at 10:38 am

Why don’t we just kill everything and light what’s left on fire?

Because it’s so much more fun to set them on fire while they’re still alive?

weejee July 29, 2010 at 10:46 am

Bobby and his rocks, just petite versions of MR-GO. Mr. Jindal, just keeps [re=628084]farking[/re] that chicken.

Mr Blifil July 29, 2010 at 10:53 am

It must be cool to write off whatever behavior or action you want by criticizing “bureaucrats in Washington, DC.” “Honey I wouldn’t have been out until 4 AM fucking that cellist with the graceful hands, 20 years my junior, if not for the damn bureaucrats in Washington DC.” I dunno, when I do it it just doesn’t have that same ring.

Cape Clod July 29, 2010 at 10:53 am

Why can’t all those coast huggers just shut up and listen Governor Jingles? He has read the Bible, so science with their ‘experts’ can be totally disregarded.

eyegoneblack July 29, 2010 at 10:56 am

[re=628089]weejee[/re]: Well played.

JMP July 29, 2010 at 11:03 am

[re=628084]eyegoneblack[/re]: He may mean it in a different way:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=farking
So, the Gulf has either been photoshopped and posted on fark.com, or farted while having sex. Based on the stinking discharge, I’d go with the latter.

proudgrampa July 29, 2010 at 11:04 am

So if I find some oil and pour it all over my neighborhood, I get a tax credit? Sweet! Farking sweet!!

edgydrifter July 29, 2010 at 11:20 am

Farking is what a Marxist geek longs to someday do with that Cylonista he brushed up against at last year’s Bogota Comicon.

Mad Brahms July 29, 2010 at 11:20 am

Is the “Rubicon” ad taking over anyone else’s browser? It looks like complete ass over here, and I *like* the way Wonkette usually looks.

thejesusandmarycheney July 29, 2010 at 11:26 am

Can’t Bobbyjin just exorcise the oil away?

Oblios Cap July 29, 2010 at 11:28 am

[re=628080]Lazy Media[/re]:

The oil companies treat the Earth as their private septic tank / garbage dump.

sati demise July 29, 2010 at 11:36 am

Adding poison Corexit to the oil was a fucking dumb ass idea.
OIL spills, now a million times more lethal to ocean life in order to protect peoples from seeing the oil.

HuddledMass July 29, 2010 at 11:46 am

[re=628107]Mad Brahms[/re]: Yep, looks awful. But our Wonkette overlords don’t like us to complain about the adverti$er$ because of the monee$. So we do, all the time.

SayItWithWookies July 29, 2010 at 11:53 am

[re=628125]sati demise[/re]: Hey, they had to use the Corexit — if they hadn’t, everybody would’ve known they were lying about how much oil was gushing out of the seafloor. Well, everybody would’ve known that a few weeks earlier than we found it out anyway, that is.

WABishop July 29, 2010 at 11:57 am

[re=628144]HuddledMass[/re]: You may think Wonkette is your friend, but they’ll sell your eyeballs like *that* if the price is right. And besides, here we are talking about Rubicon. Which must be a totally awesome new series from AMC.

Mad Brahms July 29, 2010 at 11:58 am

[re=628082]Lazy Media[/re]: The latest line is that Obama knew the spill was going to happen, and BP asked him for help, and he ignored them, and now look at the mess. This is preposterous, of course, but hey!

[re=628093]Mr Blifil[/re]: Curiously detailed! It’s ok, you can confess to us…

[re=628144]HuddledMass[/re]: Hey, I mean, I actually want to watch Rubicon, because the other, more-subtle ads worked on me and I am a sucker for AMC series thanks to Mad Men, so hey, advertising works! I just like to actually be able to see everything *else* on the Wonkette.

JMP July 29, 2010 at 12:01 pm

[re=628107]Mad Brahms[/re]: That’s an advantage of being stuck with a low-resolution monitor – I’ve just got the “Not every conspiracy is a theory” (what the fuck is that supposed to mean?) box on the right, and then a tiny piece of an image on the left margin. The rest is all cut off.

Berkeley Bear July 29, 2010 at 12:10 pm

Between the Chinese spill and the Michigan one, I’m expecting the Tundra Grifter to start screaming about how environmentalists have ruined the oil business (again) any second now.

Today we are all farked.

Lascauxcaveman July 29, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=628144]HuddledMass[/re]: I cannot wait to watch this no doubt very fine “Rubicon” show this Sunday on AMC, 8/7 central, and enjoy all the commercial breaks, and buy many consumer products from the the sponsors of those commercial breaks. The advertisement on Wonkette compels me to do so, and therby, said advertisement was an *excellent* promotional investment for AMC. Well done, AMC, for choosing your advertising vehicles wisely! Bravo!

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