Sure, White House, Just Ignore JACK WHITE and Focus On the ‘Jonas Bros.’

by Ken Layne

Remember when the Beatles played for Barack Obama during the Cuban Missile Crisis last month? The White House has finally released the sordid video from this night of Monarchist anti-Americanism, in which “Sir” Paul McCartney said something rude about George Bush Junior, which is just another example of this so-called White House’s rampant racism.

Who are these Jonas Brothers, anyway? A child act for ‘tween sexting, we understand, but they are certainly no Justin Beiber! This is what ‘tween girls are masturbating to, in America, today, according to the Blingees. Why can’t Barack Obama and his socialist propagandists at least figure out which ‘tween act is dampening panties in Summer Jam 2010?

More importantly, even if you have no idea who the White Stripes are/were, if you were operating the camera on this day and came across the weird figure of Jack White, wouldn’t you maybe linger on him for a moment and perhaps ask, “What is even up with you, Detroit Vampire Cowboy?”

“Drive My Car” is a dumb song, too. [White House]

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fictional character July 28, 2010 at 10:00 am

i haven’t quite been able to figure out why literally any music that jack white makes is somehow automatically good, but it is.

JMP July 28, 2010 at 10:03 am

Uh, who are the White Stripes then? I’ve never heard of them before your last paragraph implying there’s something wrong about having no idea who they & some guy named Jack White are.

Manos: Hands of Fate July 28, 2010 at 10:04 am

I think we will have to wait until we get a white Republican in the White house before Ludacris will get his long deserved invitation to play the White House.

chascates July 28, 2010 at 10:05 am

A least one hundred million Americans have said rude things about George Bush and it was ignored. You have to be from a foreign country to get attention from the lamestream media.

carlgt1 July 28, 2010 at 10:05 am

it was hilarious to watch the teabagger outrage for a month after Paul’s mild Bush slam. If these nuts can get as furious over the “nice Beatle” as terrorist Muslins get irate over Denmark & Switzerland, you have to wonder if they really aren’t all “brothers in arms” after all!

Whitey Did Katrina July 28, 2010 at 10:08 am

JONAS BROS, in an MMMbop they’re gone.

mumblyjoe July 28, 2010 at 10:10 am

[re=627208]chascates[/re]: I actually assume it’s a “being a popular musician, rather than an actor, director, or comedian” thing, seeing as, Dixie Chicks.

JMP July 28, 2010 at 10:10 am

[re=627208]chascates[/re]: Oh, a number of famous Americans got media attention for saying rude things about Bush – with the mainstream media calling them America-hating traitors for doing so. You may recall one girl band from Texas who ended up having the nation’s largest radio chain sponsoring record-burning parties.

Oblios Cap July 28, 2010 at 10:11 am

If only NWA were allowed to play the White house. Think of all the strokes that would be responsible for!

Oblios Cap July 28, 2010 at 10:13 am


Would that be the same chain that boycotted playing any Springsteen songs because of his anti-war stance?

magic titty July 28, 2010 at 10:17 am

Drive My Car is in fact so dumb, it’s one of the better Beatles tunes. Anyway, what is up with Jack White lately? Dead Weather and marriage and shit like that?

Mild Midwesterner July 28, 2010 at 10:18 am

[re=627205]JMP[/re]: The White Stripes were a pseudo-militant white supremicist group active in the Detroit area. They were provided a much needed antidote to the highly enjoyable music distributed by Motown Records.

weejee July 28, 2010 at 10:19 am

Lava lamps, lava lamps??? What is the subliminal with that, eh? ‘Murica lava or leave it? Whole lava shakin’ goin’ on?

kapish July 28, 2010 at 10:25 am

I don’t know who Jack White is, but I remember Jack Black – close enough?

Autochthon July 28, 2010 at 10:26 am

Libertine men and scarlet women and RAGTIME! SHAMELESS music that’ll grab your son, your daughter into the arms of a jungle animal instinct – MASSTERIA!

JMP July 28, 2010 at 10:29 am

[re=627217]Oblios Cap[/re]: Yes indeed; and anyone else who publicly were right about invading Iraq. But remember, the media has a liberal bias!

Ruhe July 28, 2010 at 10:30 am

[re=627199]fictional character[/re]: He has a PhD in “the Pixies”. QED.

weejee July 28, 2010 at 10:31 am

Mother Nature was sweet, and is Paul’s, but Jack shoulda done Son House’s Death Letter.

bozofish July 28, 2010 at 10:35 am

Nothing beats Bruno Ganz sitting in a VW Bug whisper-singing “Baby, you can drive my car…beep-beep und beep-beep, ja.”

Gorillionaire July 28, 2010 at 10:44 am

The deal with McCartney is that the year after the 9/11/01 event (Republican Christmas) he went on tour in the US doing a song he wrote called “Freedom” (absolutely the laziest song he ever wrote) and the wingnuts all purred with glee and thought that they had an actual bonafide rock star on their side. Of course McCartney may be many things, a pothead, a ripping bass player, a decent drummer, what have you, but was never any kind of wingnut. Then when he started criticizing the UK’s involvement in the Iraq war and then the funny comment about Dubya, the wingnuts looked at each other and decided at once to have four week long heart attacks over it.

Mr Blifil July 28, 2010 at 10:52 am

How can Sir Paul McCartney allow his knightliness to be sullied by appearing alongside that GUTTER TRASH? I also heard that Sir Paul decided to do Dave Grohl a solid and sang “Rape Me” addressing the entire song to Rahm Emmanuel.

Surfeit O'Hubris July 28, 2010 at 10:53 am

I would have thought that on the dumb-and-proud right, not knowing what a lieberry is would be considered a badge of honor.

FlownOver July 28, 2010 at 11:00 am

Is Jack White turning into Andy Serkis? Because we know where that leads.

SwanSwanH July 28, 2010 at 11:10 am

Nice Nehru jacket, Macca.

Kool Keith July 28, 2010 at 11:19 am

It’s all about the page views when you are a White House blogger, and the Jonas Bros bring the page view$. We’re gonna solve this deficit thing by selling ads for teeth-whitener and self-published novels.

Prommie July 28, 2010 at 11:23 am

[re=627261]FlownOver[/re]: Jack White certainly is bloating up for sure, thats the sign of the booze, usually.

lawrenceofthedesert July 28, 2010 at 11:45 am

Jack does not look comfortably in his element, shall we say, which I find commendable in the lad. The YouTube video really did not want to run right; has Clear Channel bought them out?

JMP July 28, 2010 at 11:48 am

[re=627271]Prommie[/re]: Are you suggesting a musician might drink too much alcohol? That’s unpossible!

Meatmaker July 28, 2010 at 12:18 pm

How can the Secret Service let Jack White get that close to a sitting president?

Looy July 28, 2010 at 12:19 pm

They ignored Elvis Costello too, at around 2:50. Guess they didn’t want to be around to witness his artistic decline.

simonlcupcake July 28, 2010 at 12:49 pm

[re=627209]carlgt1[/re]: The best part of the wingnut outrage: the people who said “Well, we’d expect this from Lennon.” Like it’s 1964 and/or Lennon hasn’t been dead for 30 years.

Katydid July 28, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Stevie Wonder rocking to the Jonas Brothers. OK, now I’ve seen everything.

GOPCrusher July 28, 2010 at 12:56 pm

I still snicker when they replay the Raygun speech about how wonderful things were in America as proved by Bruce Springsteen’s song “Born In The USA”.
That was when I knew he had Alzheimer’s.

Senator Bateman July 28, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Worst medley ever.

sezme July 28, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Cowboy Jack White just snuck in though the coachmen’s entrance with Michaele and Tareq Salahi. Also, his video is blocked in Canadar so couldn’t watch, though I did somehow manage to sit through the Jonas Brothers’ Drive My Car which was stunningly awful. Did Jack White sing “Monkberry Moon Delight?” That would have been good.

Extemporanus July 28, 2010 at 1:38 pm

Jack White’s sister-wife Meg’s sex tape is pretty hot — they totatlly should’ve played that instead of Los JoBro’s New Pube Review.

Hey, them Obama girls gotta grow-up sometime, right?

Come here a minute July 28, 2010 at 1:40 pm

You will also want to see Dave Grohl’s speech before his “Band on the Run” cover, even if you don’t know what Nirvana and the Foo Fighters are.

carlgt1 July 28, 2010 at 1:53 pm

[re=627365]simonlcupcake[/re]: haha I missed that reply. You’d think the Repugs would start to wonder if the chirpy, winkin’ & dare I say “Sarah Palin” of the Beatles even makes a Bush joke and is happy Obama is prez. They just can’t see that Paul represents pretty much the world i.e with us on 9/11, sick of us a year later….

Chet Kincaid July 28, 2010 at 3:17 pm

As is well known, the President’s daughters are into the Jonas Brothers.
So Barack just wanted to keep ‘em where he could see ‘em, and out of his girls’ bedrooms.

Veritas78 July 28, 2010 at 9:26 pm

So that was a trick question of which Jonas brother is gay, right? Okay, then: which one “married Elaine Chou?” as the kids say today.

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