It turns out that America’s News Network, Fox News, is not really watched at all by black people, which explains why they are so misinformed that they support this Obama fellow. This “finding” is according to some sort of math or science stuff, however, so it is probably a lie (and also Jesus has provided all of His children a live feed of Fox News in their hearts, so black people maybe just need to believe harder to see it). It just doesn’t make any sense that CNN and MSNBC’s audiences are about 20% black, yet the real news is only watched by 1.38% of Obama’s Chosen People.
The New York Times’ Brian Stelter tweeted that, according to Nielsen Media Research, Fox News has averaged just 29,000 black viewers in prime time so far this television season (9/09-7/10). That represents just 1.38% of its 2.102 million total viewer audience.
28,999 of those black viewers are likely people forced to watch Fox News in their gym, bank, or doctor’s office. The other person is Juan Williams watching himself on the monitor.
Does Fox News need to do some black outreach? (SCAAAAAAAAAAARY!) Perhaps they should make their newscasts more “hip-hoppy” and “rappy”? No. From the New Black Panther stuff to slandering Shirley Sherrod to questioning Obama’s feelings toward white people, Fox News is the only channel that truly covers the important black issues of our time. Surely black people will realize this and start tuning in soon. And then they will realize the truth, that one needs to be DEATHLY AFRAID of black people in general and black people in government especially. [ThinkProgress]
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I’m sure a much higher percentage of viewers are black in their hearts.
They didn’t see Bill O’Reilly talk about going to Slyvia’s in Harlem and how impressed with the customers there. He was expecting them, he said, to yell out “Hey, where’s my m’fuckin’ tea”
Which is what O’Reilly yelled there, just to try to get into the spirit of the ‘hood.
Coming soon:
Alan Keyes joins the wacky “Focks & Frenz” morning zoo!
Actually, the correct figure is 3/5ths of 1.38%.
The way Fox calculates this particular demographic.
What’s up w/”Juan” Williams anyway? Do you suppose he likes being their Token Negro? Do he and Mara Liaison giggle all the way to the bank about all the blond hairheads they appear with on Fox, not to mention Krauthammer? It’s hard to figure out.
[re=626946]Neilist[/re]: ZING!
[re=626945]FlownOver[/re]: how many tv’s does alan keys have?
Nothing about their Latino audience?
[re=626946]Neilist[/re]: That is beautiful.
I refuse to spend time thinking about Fucks News that can more gainfully be employed touching other people’s private parts. Or my own for that matter.
Michael Steele may be available for analysis/spokesman soon. He would be great!
Hey, how did that Michael Steeley thing work out for you? And damn, I thought when Beck hijacked MLK, Jr. that would have tipped the scales. Or all those black soldier Revolutionary War stories.
But, srsly, this is great news. We should all be proud of our black heritage that Homey don’t play that game. And baggy shorts and James Brown and….
Jack – after being subjected to more Dave Weigel or whatev news, this post warmed the cockles of my atheist heart. “They report. You are white.” Genius. Nellist, 3/5ths of 1.38%? Fucking totally inspired.
They do have Julie Banderas, who has black hair. That’s something!
Wait — so all those FOX viewers who say they have a black friend are just lying?!
[re=626946]Neilist[/re]: That’s hitting the ten ring!
I’m not cool enough at the moment to do the “link back to a comment thing-y”, but, @Neilist: serious golf clap.
As a part-black person, I can answer at least the MSNBC part. It’s that watching Chris Mattews, we often forget that he’s white for a while.
Gee, I can’t imagine why black people don’t want to watch a channel that considers Jefferson Davis the real 17th president.
I wonder how that one token black guy on Faux Noise feels about all this?
[re=626960]SayItWithWookies[/re]: nah, they all have exactly 1 black friend – Michael Steele. Or at least facebook friends (or maybe myspace friends, given the demographic). Close enough, right?
[re=626946]Neilist[/re]: Fuck. And. Yes.
Those numbers will go up now that the baggers have refudiated racism. Besides, I thought Mexican was the new black?
[re=626946]Neilist[/re]: WIN
Looks like futile damage control efforts after seriously pissing off their No.2 Boogeymen. The “Wait ’til November” rant gets quieter and quieter.
You Liberal Commie Pink SCUM should never encourage that Neilist guy.
He’s an ASSHOLE.
[Frankly, that 1.38% surprised me. It's so high . . . .]
Neilist WIN? Is it Opposite Tuesday again?
Truth is, I had a zinger also, but it’s on the trash heap of histrionics after that rabid gun nut’s riposte.
I wonder what percentage of Wonketteers are black?
[re=626970]mustardman[/re]:
I’m sure he/she will be paraded around the RNC circuit like a fuckin’ celebrity – until Bitch McConnell and John Boner complain about the cost of Uppity advertising.
It’s not really 29,000 black viewers. It’s just that Clarence Thomas has one of those Nielsen family boxes on his set, so he counts as 29,000 black viewers for statistical purposes.
[re=626982]bitchincamaro[/re]: “rabid gun nut’s riposte” is one of those . . . whatdayacallit? . . . Mixed Metaphor thingies.
“Riposte” is a fencing term. You meant “that rabid gun nut’s fusillade” or “barrage” or something.
“Just like a BitchInCamero: Bringing a knife to a gun fight.”
[re=626949]V572625694[/re]: He is one of those Henry Louis Gates-type Negroes that believes all that “talented tenth” bullshit. So yes, he is happy as a clam to be a token, which he sees as just the natural order of things.
I visited a black co-worker in the hospital who had to watch Fox Nooze while recovering from her surgery because her retarded room mate was watching it 24/7.
[re=626982]bitchincamaro[/re]: Sadly, my Chris Matthews zinger only nets me an “also ran,” as well.
28,999 of those black viewers are likely people forced to watch Fox News in their gym, bank, or doctor’s office. The other person is Juan Williams watching himself on the monitor.
I’m pretty sure that 28,999 represent black people with severe disabilities and/or in comas that have realatives that hate them.
But, what is really sad, is that is out of the 135% of people Fox & Friends say watch FOX news every day.
I think I found one:
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b192498_sister_sisters_tamera_mowry_getting.html
[re=626958]President Inaugural Balls[/re]: “We deport, you are white” was the title of their less successful Hispanic outreach program.
[re=626987]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I don’t know, but we sure do like our fifths.
[re=626991]Neilist[/re]: You, sir are right “on target”. Right back atcha.
I take this to mean only 1.38% of black people are brain dead. Kudos, y’all.
[re=627003]problemwithcaring[/re]: Sounds like her family, on the other hand, are not
[re=626995]Gorillionaire[/re]: That’s what bedpans are for. Throwing.
[re=627009]doxastic[/re]: ‘zactly. But I am sure the other 28,999 are out there, somewhere. And this poll isn’t just referring to American Black people. Clearly, they mean Black folk worldwide, right?
Being a full 1/128th black makes me fully qualified to comment on this article. FOX news sucks.
Snap!
In thinking of these numbers, you should also remember that every poll has a range of between +2 or -2 points so it’s very possible they have no black people and a significant percentage of wiggas who don’t watch Fox either
I actually know a black guy who watches Faux News from school; he regularly wears a t-shirt with Obama’s face morphed with Chairman Mao’s. I asked him one day what Mao had to do with Obama–he said,”you know, he’s a socialist”, I said but Mao was a communist, “oh, well–same thing.” Duh. He and my Biology professor went at it for almost an entire class over global warming. Wingnuts are so much fun.
[re=627020]Hooray For Anything[/re]: True, and the majority of those blacks probably turn to Fox just to show their kids that racism didn’t end with Barack’s election.
[re=626995]Gorillionaire[/re]:
Sounds like a granny that needed her plug yanked out. “ObamaCare, Bee-atch!” *pop*
When Fox news claims they are “fair” and “balanced”, they mean they hire blonds in mini-skirts to read the conservo-news perched five feet in the air on a bicycle seat.
[re=626987]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Everyone is glancing nervously around the room and looking at their shoes.
[re=627020]Hooray For Anything[/re]: You are so right, it’s possible only negative blacks watch. 1.38 – 2 = -0.68
[re=626969]ella[/re]: You mean the 16th, right? Davis was sworn in on February 18, 1861, at which time the president of U.S. America was James Buchanan.
I’m not entirely stunned with how high Faux News is pulling with black viewers. Even beyond those he get their bullshit because it is one at the bar, gym, whatever.
Living in C’Addle with 365¼ days of rain a year, my wife and I are about as white as it gets. Some decades back there were like 6 white folk on both sides of our double block that includes both single family houses, apartments and duplexes. There were/are some of our neighbors that could/can talk almost like teatarders on some issues. Support of capital punishment, you bet hang ‘em high. Don’t like the gheys, you bet. Don’t like those immigrants, you bet and especially those new African American’s with their damn Ethiopian restaurants. Quite amazing. That there are some black Faux news watchers, is not completely surprising. I woulda thought around 6-10%, but maybe that group is like a large swatch of ‘Murica that don’t watch the news from any source.
[re=627032]Radiotherapy[/re]: Hmmmm…would “negative blacks” be defined, then as fans of the Dave Mathews Band, people who went to see Sex and the City, and people who watch hockey?
Some of those 28,999 black FOX news viewers probably live in central New Jersey under the oppressive thumb of Comcast. If you opt for minimal cable programming (bottom-tier basic), the only cable news programming you’ll receive is FOX… no CNN, CNBC, or MSNBC.
Comcast must die!
I caught it last night, thinking it was the Redd Fox channel.
But I’m white.
[re=627032]Radiotherapy[/re]: “Nothin’ from nothin’ leeeeeaaavves nothin’”
[re=626991]Neilist[/re]: What if it’s one of them gunswords from Final Fantasy 8? Huh?
[re=626991]Neilist[/re]: You are so divisive!!1!
[
re=627035]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I was thinking more along the lines of Michael Steele or OJ Simpson.
[re=627039]user-of-owls[/re]: I wonder if this -0.68 has anything to do with affroluence?
FoxNews is also a great line of segregation. The people who, as my GP said, “put it on Fox News and break off the knob,” are entirely unaware of the fact that black people do not watch the channel. They can go to bed every night entirely unaware that they have a separate and unequal, that there is another wall up between them and 16% of the population. It allows them to go forth and assume, more and more loudly, that “everybody knows” whatever FoxNews has said.
Two Americas indeed.
[re=627036]Miss Kublik[/re]: Dish is the same, as I’m sure most other TeeVee “content providers” are. If you want a different view, you have to pay for it.
[re=626946]Neilist[/re]: As a full blooded Negro(at least for 5 or 6 generations), I add to the applause for your comment. I personally watch faux in 5 minute stints, just to keep an eye on Whitey. Then I clean my gun and drink myself to sleep.
That’s normal, innit?
[re=626959]Delicious[/re]: Me and Julia Banderas is not a bad choice to hate-fuck, and we would make beautiful Mulatto babies together, but I’d only claim them for the child support…
[re=626987]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: That’s not really a productive line of inquiry, since “Angry Black Man” is probably a moniker shared by at least several dozen reverse-racist activists just waiting for some white dude to slip up so they can pounce. Average penis length among Wonkett commenters would be illuminating, however, and I propose some stimulus funding to start the scientific sampling PRONTO!
[re=627006]bitchincamaro[/re]: I hope you noted, Ms. Camaro, that I said nothing whatsoever about the “rabid.”
Although “hydrophobia” might have sounded better.
Or maybe “hydrocephalus.” That might work, too. Assuming I had any brain left.
“My eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.”
[re=627052]mayor_quimby[/re]: Frankly, I’m puzzled by your Darkies and the 1.38%.
I’m the Protypical Angry Old “Get Off My Lawn” Irish-Donkey White Guy. And one of my friends/clients/colleagues is a consultant/taking head for Greta The Hairlip (re elections).
But I can’t watch Fox News for more that 1.38 seconds without getting pissed off.
Of course, in my case the reason is that I’m a self-proclaimed history buff, and prefer to watch the speeches of Hitler and Goebbels in the original. (While cleaing my Mauser K98, of course.)
But what excuse do “You People” have for that staggering 1.38%? Michael Steele and Clarence Thomas?
[re=627053]Mr Blifil[/re]: “Average penis length among Wonkett commenters would be illuminating . . . ”
Well, let’s just say that Neilist ain’t packin’ no carbine, If-You-Know-What-I-Mean-And-I-Think-You-Do:
“You know your weapons. It’s a lever-action, breech loader. Usual barrel length’s thirty inches. This one has an extra four.”
[Heh-Heh.]
“It’s marked up to twelve-hundred yards. This one shoots a mite further.”
Down, Camaro! DOWN I SAY!
[re=627057]Neilist[/re]: Honestly, I think that’s the percentage of the black pupulace that reliably votes republican, plus a few brothers that work for Media Matters.
Or maybe… double-anti-racist white folks that check black on the application form to mess with the system. Know what I mean?
[re=627053]Mr Blifil[/re]: Actually, if I whip this shit out, the whole damn room will go dark, not illuminating at all.
What’s the surprise? Surely all of Strom Thurmond’s illegitimate kids can afford basic cable.
[re=627057]Neilist[/re]: 1.38 — NEVER FORGET.
[re=627053]Mr Blifil[/re]: [re=627065]mayor_quimby[/re]: [re=627060]Neilist[/re]:
It’s gettin pretty hot up in hurr.
Don’t need to be a weatherman to know which way the wind blowin’.
YOUR BERRYING THE LEDE
The New York Times’ Brian Stelter tweeted that…
Homer: Uh, Mr. Seltzer?
Brian Setzer: It’s “Setzer.”
Homer: No, I think it’s Seltzer.
And Neilist is a
geniusbenalophileASSHOLEI’m Whitey but I can feel their pain of being subjected to Faux News in a public setting. I finally got fed up with having my IQ being reduced by a few points without my consent. So I picked up this gadget on Amazon this month: TV-B-Gone (btw: I have no financial ties to the product – just a happy customer).
Now if I’m out and I see a TV with weeping-Glenn, una-brow-Hannity or the Loofah-boy, it surreptitiously comes out of my pocket and the problem is solved.
80 touches-per-minute. Is that a high score?
[re=627046]Geogre[/re]: Such a shame that we no longer have a SCOTUS that would attempt to try and rectify our Separate but Not Equal News Channels and mandate that various African American reporters at CNN and MSNBC (all five of them) be bussed into FOX so the network would be less white. And maybe they’ll mandate that FOX has to hire a female news anchor who is brunette or even a Ginger while they’re at it.
Almost the same percentage are Klansmen.
[re=626944]chascates[/re]: Heyyyyy, I posted this same comment on Gawker earlier. Of course, Gawker posted the story earlier than Wonkette. Aww, you DC folks are cute with the whole being-just-slightly-behind-NY thing.
[re=626981]Neilist[/re]: I thought it would be 117% of their audience, as they can’t add to 100% without getting lost in the weeds.
But you win the evening, N. Indisputably.
[re=626992]problemwithcaring[/re]: Juan Williams hasn’t done his homework since 6th grade, which means he fits in perfectly with the blow-dry-tanning-table set at FN. What I can’t figure out is what the NPR lady is doing there, other than slumming.
And when I was whinging (that’s for you, LimeyLizzie) about using brackets to not get italics but rather entirely vanished words, and people said use the “greater-than” and “less-than” signs,” that’s what I meant I’d been using, which makes me doubly incompetent: can’t fix shit and can’t explain why I can’t fix shit, so I must be W, and I haz, therefore, a sad.
So, he’p me, pipplez. Italics? How?
lt i gt stuff you want in italics lt /i gt
spaces aren’t needed between the lt and gt symbols
Dear Wonkette,
I don’t care what you say, they look like a bunch of munkus to me.
Sincerely,
Rupert Murdoch
“28,999 of those black viewers are likely people forced to watch Fox News in their gym, bank, or doctor’s office. The other person is Juan Williams watching himself on the monitor.” LOL
I’m black and my brother deleted or blocked FAUX News Channel.
[re=626987]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: We can all be black on the internet.
[re=627053]Mr Blifil[/re]: like I said, shuffling their feet and self consciously white, you poor things.
[re=627092]J[/re]: Ben?
[re=627107]WriteyWriterton[/re]: [i]put your italics words here[/i] and then replace the square brackets with the math symbols. If you get really stuck, ‘view page source’ in your browser and find someone’s comment that had italics in it. It’s possible that the greater than/less than by themselves turned your Wonkette comments into html comments.
Thanks [re=627107]WriteyWriterton[/re]: Thanks WriteyWriterton, but I do believe it has an “e” in there just after the “g”…
Gunblade Riposte!!!
[re=627090]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Oh, I’d be satisfied if there were a culture where the general public were taught that it was shameful to be ignorant of others, that it is wrong to separate into “I got mine, and I’m scared of you” groups, that monoculture is sterility, that assumption is the easiest path to atrocity.
However, they are taught the reverse. They are encouraged to believe that learning things is suspicious and a violation of one’s cultural HERITAGE or street cred, that “everybody knows” what everybody knows and no one should know different things, and jobs are for getting things that plug into the TV.
[re=627137]southern mark smith[/re]: Thank you, sms. Will proceed accordingly.[re=627140]Limeylizzie[/re]: Dadgum it! I knew that. Je suis un fuck dumbe.
[re=627137]southern mark smith[/re]: Fixed!
Too late: No one will read this, but, if anyone wants a compilation of reasons for no black viewers, Media Matters has put together one:
http://mediamatters.org/research/201007270001
It’s a horror file.
[re=627146]WriteyWriterton[/re]: Cheers.
[re=627092]J[/re]: Absolutely no one cares.
So 1.38% of angry right-wingers are black. Sounds about right…
This statistic has a self-reporting flaw. We don’t know if the 1.38% are white people who think they’re black (like Ted Danson). Or maybe 18.62% of Fox viewers are black but think they’re white (like Michael Steele).
I’m lousy at math–how many total viewers does it take for Michael Steele, Alan Keys, and Clarence Thomas to become 1.38%? Did they count Colin Powell and Condi, too?
[re=626987]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Enough to get snarky posts.
[re=627193]just pixels[/re]: To be fair to Michale Steele, he acts way too black, with his “hip-hop lingo” and the like, to even possibly not be a white suburban teenager.
[re=627021]Tofu Eating Socialist[/re]:
“Stupid – it’s not just for white people anymore.”
[re=626960]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Actually, no. They just all know the same two black folks…
[re=627160]plowman[/re]: That figure is remarkably close to the percentage of Black TBaggers (CBS/NYT Poll in mid-April 2010) – 1%. That’s the poll Sheer “Am i An Idiot?” InSannity lied about (April 16th).
As Abe Lincoln quoted, “You can fool some of the people all of the time.”
Here in hillbillyland, all the local bidnesses play the Fox Nooz as if to send the message, a)we’re regular white pear repubs, just like you ‘n’ granny ‘n’ your preacher b)you homo/commeez can suck on it.
Fuck the banks and bars and car repair places. Fuck ‘em all.
So, when Tea Baggers claim that they are not racists, they are going to point to this poll as proof?
[re=627142]bago[/re]: fucking awesome screen name!
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