Len Britton is a Republican from Vermont running for U.S. Senate this election season — and if there’s one thing he loves, it’s sitting idly by on picnic tables while a random adult male throws diseased salmonella pork water on children who then drown in a lake. Britton approves of this evil stunt in the name of “advertising,” he says at the end of the ad. Except this metaphor makes no sense, as the kids are wearing life jackets. So, the people of the United States will be just fine, no matter how much deficit spending their failing government accumulates?
Len Britton previously terrorized these children in this ad:
OH MY GOD HE WAS BEHIND THAT SUV THE WHOLE TIME. Why is Len Britton stalking these two children, constantly trying to ruin their lives just so he can make a point? [RedState]
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When those kids drown they’ll be swimming in money!
[re=626799]phildeaux[/re]: Yes.
So…he’s gonna cut Defense spending by 70% annually? HERO.
If Billy and his sister can’t swim they shouldn’t be in the damned boat in the first place.
Where are the metaphorical demon sheep? (They’d go great with the creepy circus music!)
Thank God for the fiscally conservative Republiklan Party!
If we’re never going to be able to “repay the deficit” as this moran phrases it, then fuck it: let’s all spend up the rest on hookers, blow and fine wine!
It’s called a bilge pump, look into it.
It’s so refreshing to get away from the hatemongering, the lies, the faux accusations of reverse-racism and the harming of the populace for political gain that are so endemic to this season and get back to the simple things — like pure, unadulterated, simple distortion of the facts. Sometimes it seems like we lose track of what’s really essential.
He couldn’t find an actual barrel anywhere in Vermont. So he settled on “plastic bucket with drawing of pig” to symbolize the “pork barrel”. Hi-larious!
Wow. “Pork water” and “fuck table” all in one day’s posts. I knew I came back here for a reason.
Mr. Britton (hm that name sounds almost un-American) is a little late, the voters already kicked out the party that created the record debt in 2006 and 2008.
Why does Len Britton hate Ronald Raygun?
So, the life raft is called “SS Ship of State,” which means it represents the government. If this guy is a true fiscal conservative, he would destroy the raft and claim that the invisible hand of the market would save the children from drowning. If they don’t survive, they obviously didn’t work hard enough.
Who are the Britons? I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Who’s the sidekick? This could be a great reality show.
Why does this man not heed the lessons of Dick and Reagan?
Hahah…paper route…who actually gets the newspaper delivered anymore???
[re=626831]oh hi mark[/re]: If this guy has anything to do with it, the invisible hand will do something to these kids, but I’m not going to call it “saving” them…
Another small businessman who wants a government job. Why do these guys think that running a niknak boutique or a mink farm is experience for the US senate?
[re=626831]oh hi mark[/re]: But if he destroyed the raft it would screw up his product placement deal with QuestSport. He’ll probably tell them that their jobs as bailers have been eliminated by the new economy, but if they learn to swim (at the Len Britton $chool, of course, for which they’ll take out government-backed student loans) they can be tattooed with QuestSport logos and learn to swim fat men in suits across the pond.
[re=626817]V572625694[/re]: Hey everyone, party is at V572625694′s! Unless her(?) parents come back from Europe unexpectedly and make us clean up the mess.
One thing I don’t get is how the raft would sink. The plastic has neutral buoyancy and the air compartments were intact. So the pork-stimulus water being poured in would saturate the interior, but the raft would stay afloat. So what is the danger? Those kids should stop bailing. They’re wasting youthful energy better spent playing XBox.
But if they were really concerned, they should order up a Predator strike on that asshole with a bucket. First of all, he’s causing the problem. Second of all, that bucket is a much better way to get the pork-stimulus out of the boat. They they should appropriate it for the common good. Spread the bucket around, so to speak.
Telling kids to get a paper route to pay off the national debt is soooooooooooo original. Instead of throwing rotten pig water on the kids, they should just gets some wild boars to chase the kids around and then maul them. That will make an impact on the voters.
Ha ha, sad little man running a pathetically hopeless campaign against Patrick Leahy. It’s cute, though; you go get ‘em tiger!
Meh. This guy’s got about as much chance of beating Pat Leahy as I do of bagging Angelina Jolie AND Jessica Alba on a yacht in Monaco.
[re=626855]just pixels[/re]: Redistribute the bucket? SOCULIZM!!!
[re=626847]DC Hates Me[/re]: Dick Tarrant is arguably the richest businessman in Vermont, and he lost miserably to Bernie Sanders. It’s a long fall off the cliff from Tarrant to this guy.
The life jackets represent Jesus, Ken. You sort of know that nothing bad can happen to you because of Jesus, but that doesn’t stop you from panicking over shit. Make sense now?
[re=626886]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Sorry, Jack….I mixed up my editors, because, um….shut up?
[re=626804]Fox n Fiends[/re]: You cut defense spending, and by the time those kids grow up, only jobs left will be in Afghanistan, hunting down the three remaining Taliban and finding Osama’s nursing home.
[re=626832]Troubledog[/re]: You’re foolin’ yourself…
Would have been much better with Fred Armisen (badly) portraying Obama as the daiquiri-sucking bureaucrat in the boat.
But it was a nice touch to have the Kid wearing a Kidder (water skis) life vest. The only thing better would have been one of those old fashioned orange Mae West type thingees.
Q.: If water is supposed to symbolize money, why are the kids throwing it overboard?
A.: They must be learning how to act like the Bushes and Reagan. OR
Extending a metaphor is beyond the mental capacity of the Britton campaign.
In any case, I hope they got that actor away from the children ASAP after the shoot.
The kids are redistributing the pig-water back into the general fund, or what? What a bunch of hogwash.
[re=626933]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: I think the water is supposed to represent debt, in which case the large bucket is the war in Iraq/Afghanistan, and the dixie cups are tax cuts.
[re=626855]just pixels[/re]: Don’t the goopers call it porkulous now?
[re=626817]V572625694[/re]: Now there’s a sensible platform. What are you running for?
When someone asks, “What is a bad commercial?” you can point to this. This is a bad commercial.
When someone asks, “What is bad acting, bad filming, bad editing, bad writing, bad concept and overall bad production?” you can point to this. This is bad acting, filming, editing, writing, concept and overall production.
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