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This family has likely doubled in number and frightening wholesomeness since then.The Republican Party’s fastest rising star, 2006 re-election loser former Senator Rick Santorum, went to the big city last week to start making plans for Jesus and Rick’s Presidential Campaign Adventure 2012. Santorum, you see, raised more money for his PAC (really? are all these candidates really unemployed with nothing else to do?) than Mike Huckabee last quarter, so it is obvious he will be stronger with the love-to-hate-abortion base in 2012.

According to GOP sources familiar with the meeting, which took place last Tuesday in Washington, Santorum conveyed his seriousness about a possible campaign and solicited his former aides for advice.

“Yes, we think you should run,” said the former aides, wanting jobs.

And then they all had a group prayer fuck. And Santorum’s daughter’s doll flew off the fuck table in slow motion, representing the loss of American democracy’s innocence.

Hope you’re ready for a great campaign, Wonketteers. Santorum 2012: Abortion Abortion Abortion Abortion. Abortion. And Gay Abortion. 2012. [CNN]

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