Help Obama Have a Happy Birthday (By Sending His Wife Money?)

by Ken Layne

For his *next* birthday, pay off Hillary's campaign debt!
Oh look, Michelle Obama sent us like seven emails, all with the same request: Let poor little rich boy Barack Obama finally have a happy birthday! How do you do this? Just click the link for a NO OBLIGATION chance to sign a pledge to charge your credit card more money so that Democrats can continue to piss away their Senate and House majorities, and Obama’s various middle managers can continue firing uppity black ladies from the Farming Office. What?

There’s not even an offer of a sexy night on the town with Bill Clinton, hitting all his favorite Harlem nightspots and motels. Just a dumb web-form, and then the GIVE US MONEY routine, again, forever. It’s a good thing we’re not in year three of an awful nation-crushing Depression or anything! [We will not link to this; check your inbox]

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Hola wonkerados.

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Jim89048 July 27, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Haha, I already deleted that one from 2 of my lebenty email accounts, before it sucked my bank account dry like so many Nigerian princes have already.

Buzz Feedback July 27, 2010 at 1:29 pm

How do they celebrate birthdays in Barackistan?

SayItWithWookies July 27, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Instead of sending you money, I’m going to throw Ben Nelson in the hog waller.

Mumbletypeg July 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Michelle Obama: Floats like a butterfly; stings like a money bee.

MLM July 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm

Still better than the John Kerry email asking me to vote for some baseball dude. ??!

qaf July 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm

If he’s having his “birithday” today (as in the headline) then it’s clear that Hopey’s not a Muslin but B’nai B’rith. No wonder he’s so protective of Israel…

TGY July 27, 2010 at 1:43 pm

Yeah, yeah, happy birthday, PINO.

Undeterredbyreality July 27, 2010 at 1:45 pm

“Birithday?” Is that like the muslin bris for wimmen? (What am I, the copy editor today?)

Gorillionaire July 27, 2010 at 1:45 pm

All my money went to Alvin Greene, I’m tapped out.

Undeterredbyreality July 27, 2010 at 1:46 pm

[re=626480]qaf[/re]: Ach du lieber! You beat me to it. Better, too.

Extemporanus July 27, 2010 at 1:47 pm

In the spirit of these waist-tightening times, I’m going to regift John McCain’s birthday card from last year.

Happy Birthday, boy! HENGGGHH?!

Undeterredbyreality July 27, 2010 at 1:48 pm

[re=626484]Undeterredbyreality[/re]: Read more closely. It’s HIS birithday, not hers, idiot!

freakishlystrong July 27, 2010 at 1:52 pm

When is his birfday in Kenya? The Muslin calendar is different?

Limeylizzie July 27, 2010 at 1:55 pm

[re=626484]Undeterredbyreality[/re]: Ouch, that gave my lady parts a nasty turn.

JMP July 27, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Sorry, but it looks like the President’s birthday is on my parents’ anniversary; I’m already shelling out on some nice box wine and a fancy dinner at Friendly’s. No can give.

weejee July 27, 2010 at 2:07 pm

[Alt Text] needs moar “Nuke Iran”

Look At My Wiener July 27, 2010 at 2:12 pm

What’s the theme for Hopey’s bar mitzvah?

Terry July 27, 2010 at 2:13 pm

“There‚Äôs not even an offer of a sexy night on the town with Bill Clinton, hitting all his favorite Harlem nightspots and motels.”

Y’all have to admit that an evening with Bill Clinton would be far more fun than one with Barack Obama. Obama would serve you healthy snacks and one or two beers, probably from that nice microbrewery in Chicago (Goose Creek?), then you’d talk policy or philosophy. Clinton, on the other hand, you’d overeat and overdrink and party until long after the sun came up again. Yeah, Bill would be a pure hoot.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 27, 2010 at 2:24 pm

[re=626468]Jim89048[/re]: That’s it. Obama is not Kenyan, he is Nigerian. He is probably not even a solicitor in real life, but became President through an elaborate email scam run out of an Internet cafe in Chicago.

[re=626494]freakishlystrong[/re]: Yeah, I’m unclear. Is this his real birthday, or the fake one on his birth certificate. Someone call up David Vitter and find out.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2010 at 2:40 pm

[re=626526]Terry[/re]: I would love to have a night out with Bill, it would involve lots of heavy petting in public places, screaming with laughter at his dirty jokes and a walk of shame in the early hours sans panties.Barack would be all talking about Michelle and avoiding my grabby hands.So, I’m with you on that.

Native of SL UT July 27, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Fuck him, he didn’t remember my birthday.

PlanetWingnuta July 27, 2010 at 3:50 pm

i think i too would like hang time with bill and barrack…just informal no presidental talk just hanging. (*srsly)

slowhansolo July 27, 2010 at 10:40 pm

Meh, I spent all my petty funds on intoxicants. And I agree Bill would be far more fun, assuming the old ticker could take it (mine.)

NotMother? July 28, 2010 at 12:25 am

Unless I see a long card, it’s a fake and I’m not signing.

wyattfloress July 28, 2010 at 5:39 am

Why does he need money. What happened to him.
Revolution E-Cigarette

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