In Today’s Troubled Economic Times ™, it is very important to maintain employee loyalty. This is true whether you are an oil CEO or a military contractor! It is especially true if you are allegedly a beast from Long Island who allegedly bought hookers for employees and porn/plastic surgery for family members with sweet Pentagon-provided money.
Using the company coffers — which were flush with Pentagon money — Brooks allegedly bought gifts for his family, including pornographic videos for his son, plastic surgery for his wife and textbooks for his daughter. He also bought luxury cars, country club memberships and a stable full of racehorses. The prostitutes? They were to boost morale.
Is there anything that boosts morale more than banging the hell out of a non-unionized sex worker who was also probably the victim of terrible childhood trauma and economic disadvantage?
And there’s more: Brooks spent $10 million on his daughter’s bat mitzvah, hiring 50 Cent, Tom Petty and Aerosmith to perform. The leather-bound invitations cost $40,000 alone.
Yes, on the day your daughter becomes a woman, it is best to hire a pack of goyim (except for Joey Kramer!) to foist their sexually-suggestive Greatest Hits upon your horrified family. It is a fact that Curtis Jackson declared that the whole event was a shanda and was removed from the event when he would not stop rhythmically davening in front of the kinder.
Brooks, who left the company in 2006, is also accused of running a $190 million scam. Brooks allegedly lied about his company’s inventory by several million dollars, boosting the stock price just before selling all his shares.
50 Cent did not survive being shot nine times so that he could perform at a BAT MITZVAH OF LIES!







{ 64 comments }
Thats some bat mitzva. Thats the kinda bat mitzva that makes me wanna go all bolshevik on someone’s ass.
I’m sure the wounded who were forced to wear the shit body armor from Brooks’ company will rest easy knowing that he did his part to prop up the US America economize with his whore/Aerosmith, Fiddy Scent and pron expenses. Daveed Brooks is a great US America Haro (sic) and deserves the Coffin With Metal Handles, I mean the Congressional Medal of… no a coffin with metal handles but he won’t because the rich are better than us and should be spared the utter embarrassment of a trial.
Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It’s your bat mitzvah.
We gon’ party like it’s yo bat mitzvah
We gon’ sip Manischewitz like it’s your bat mitzvah
It’s all about flow.
Give the man credit: he bought his wife a lovely pair of tits.
Sara, isn’t the same “David H Brooks” whose in charge of Sean Hannity’s
scamcharity, Foundation for Wounded American Heroes?His wife is probably a real balabusta.
SHEIDEH!
Wow. There was never a hint of this in his columns, though it’s about what you’d expect from an Obama-endorsing RINO.
[re=626556]actor212[/re]: He apparently bought lovely tits for lots of people.
I was wondering how he afforded all of that stuff on an NYT op-ed writers salary.
What do you suppose Tom Petty and Steven Tyler talk about after they play the Bat Mitzvah of some girl who’s obviously the child of a criminal, and are paid with money that is obviously ripped off from someone else? Guitar tuners? The hookers the dad just paid to blow them first before the show?
Regarding for the appeal to sympathy vis a vis hookers and their traumatic histories of sexual abuse/rape resulting in hatred of men and a dissociative split from their inner selves: I am of course sensitive to their plight, under the proviso that they blow me first. Once that’s out of the way, I’m all ears.
[re=626556]actor212[/re]:
Those belong to the American people and we all deserve our turn enjoying them as we see fit. I plan to rest my weary head upon them after a long, hard day.
[re=626556]actor212[/re]:
And then sought the company of non-unionized sex workers while they healed up, out of consideration for the old girl. What a guy!
Y’know, other than that impossibly vulgar Mitzvah, the daughter got royally screwed in the “gifts: department. I mean, textbooks people, really?
David Brooks is way more baller than I thought.
I knew David Brooks was a scumbag, but I thought he kept it to muddying up the Times with pseudo-intellectual versions of conservative talking points and calls for more wars, not military contracting and ripping off the government. Still, it would be nice to see him go to prison.
He needed to spend that kind of money for the bat mitzvah to make up for giving his daughter boring old textbooks instead of something good like better looks or porn. And what 13-year-old girl doesn’t want a pair of aging Baby Roomer rockers whose best days are long behind them at their big party?
Lucky for him we do not put billionaires in jail in US America.
Not only I was not aware that columnist David Brooks had a son, I also didn’t know that HE WAS THE BEST DAD EVER!
Hey, go easy on the guy for the ten million dollar bat mitzvah. His daughter might join the military, in which case she’ll be saddled with daddy’s body armor, so this might be his last chance to give her a big blowout.
Shame on you Sara!!! That picture!
There is nothing more un-American than cats!
The wife gets boobs, the son gets boobs, but the daughter just gets Aerosmith at her bat mitzvah? Sheesh, I guess we can tell which child Brooks likes the least.
However, I am pretty sure the 50-cents is a member of the tribe, as shown by his famous rap version of the Birkat HaTorah.
In his defense, if you don’t have David Copperfield and elephants at your princess’s bat mitzvah, it’s open-and-shut child abuse.
I suppose the hookers showed up under “Other Income” in DHB’s proxy statement.
Today, we are all paying for fake tits.
You plainly failed to mention his 100k FLAG belt buckle, which is an automatic get out of jail free card in most southern states.
Why does Benincasa hate America near this man’s groin?
Sara, Sara, Sara … there you go again.
That was not “porn”, it was Freerotica — a wonderous expression of the First Amendment.
That was not “plastic surgery”, it was a demonstration that American women DO NOT WEAR BURKAS.
Those were not “free prostitutes”, they were paid.
But let’s not quibble over semantics. When George Bush ordered the Pentagon to drop money bombs on defense contractors all over the country, there was bound to be some collateral damage.
The libtards in the lamestream media are blowing this whole thing outta proportion as usual. War profiteering is an acceptable and desired Republican-conservative family value. Nothing says you love your children more.
You wanna back that thing up, or should I push up on it?
Dude’s super-tacky Jewosity aside, why, when discussing military contractors’ illegal activities, is there always a religious angle to the story?
Just how fucking hard is it to scrape that goddamn Crusade shit off our collective combat boots, anyways?! We have literally been paying assholes through the nose to track it all over the place forever — that rug really tied the world together, man, and yet we demand that everyone abide.
At least atheist military contractors would grift purely for the grift, without any nauseating pretense of higher purpose, or blowback from holy rolling. Hell, why do you think Russia has so many fucking billionaires?
So, is this the one whom the Feds found when he was on the lam because he appeared with his daughter on My Fabulous Sweet Sixteen on MTV?
At any rate, where I work we do not get prostitutes. We do not get body armor. We do not have morale. (But we do have morality.)
No vodka butt shots? Vodka butt shots or GTFO.
[re=626602]Geogre[/re]: Morality? Really? I’d settle for the hookers myself.
You left out the part about the Bat Mitzvah being held at the legendary Rainbow Room, atop 30 Rockefeller Center. Leaving that out makes the whole affair seem second rate.
Noone, no fellow bolsheviks? Fucking A, comrades, doesn’t anything ever give you the urge to string up some fucking plutocratic parasites, ever?
Ah, good, ol’-fashioned, Bush-era corruption is still around?! Good times, good times…
(But, dude, those shirts…)
The US government also can’t trust an executive who buys porn for his son. Doesn’t he know that it’s free all over the internet these days? How can you trust someone like that with government money?
I know a prostitute would boost MY morale right about now.
And I keep thinking to myself: at least he bought textbooks for the daughter. I mean, at least he got that right because with everything else at play here, this could have easily been a story that included him buying matching tits for mother and daughter.
My Dad never bought me pornos *sniff*
The only redeeming thing about him is that he chose Tom Petty. At least he has old school style.
So, are his awesome employees going to get fucked by the court for restitution?
The thing that’s really upsetting about this is that SARAH PALIN didn’t get her fair share of this sweet Pentagon loot. Think of the soldiers, also.
[re=626621]proudgrampa[/re]: And prolly your wallet if you’re the type that falls asleep after the big finish.
Kids, don’t peak at your bat mitzvah. Save it for the Sweet Sixteen, like the founding fathers wanted.
Wondering if he’s interested in adopting an aging shiksa, I could use a little nip/tuck.
Hmmm, the girl in the lower left of that illustration reminds me of Yelena Zelenskaya in “Der Untergang”.
Which reminds me, aren’t we due for another YouTube rant?
this is like the porn video Taboo 2 (yeah i watched heteroporn at times), the jewish guy from Goodfellas and a sitcom.
Way to perpetuate those sexist stereotypes by giving your daughter textbooks and your son pornography.
[re=626564]Mr Blifil[/re]: You are male sensitivity incarnate.
[re=626617]Prommie[/re]: The real question is: does anything ever NOT give me the urge to string up a few plutocrats?
ITTET, it’s nice to know Sara Benincasa is a bikesnobnyc fan.
Oh yeah, and AYHSMB.
Conservative values at their finest!
[re=626553]ManchuCandidate[/re]: who said trickle down doesn’t work? Look at all these people who gots our fine, fine tax monies.
You left out the un-snarky part of the story about the crap that Brooks was selling to the U.S. Military in order to pay for that $10 million bat-mitzvah and $100,000 flag belt buckle:
“A recent Marine Corps forensic study obtained by DefenseWatch slams the Interceptor OTV body armor system, claiming ‘as many as 42% of the Marine casualties who died from isolated torso injuries could have been prevented with improved protection in the areas surrounding the plated areas of the vest. Nearly 23% might have benefited from protection along the mid-axillary line of the lateral chest. Another 15% died from impacts through the unprotected shoulder and upper arm,’ the report says.”
http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-24974.html
8.7 billion sweet Pentagon-provided dollars gone missing in Iraqistan is hella more disturbing than federally-funded knob jobs and bags of saline for mama’s missing ta-tas, IMO.
[re=626617]Prommie[/re]: “String up some fucking plutocratic parasites…?” A purge of sympathetic elements in the the officer corps, show trials and then total extermination as a class — or GTFO.
Gates says the Pentagon can’t account for billions…I think they should start looking here.
NEVER FORGET: Barry Soetro’s Socialist regime will destroy American small business –I am Joe the Leather Invitation Embosser!
[re=626772]One Yield Regular[/re]: and then the military guys who supported Brooks crappy vests over the GOOD vests all got teh monies and jobs?
And all the soldiers who had fundraisers so they could buy their own damn good vest?
And then the military guys saying if you get hurt wearing the good vests they will not care for you?
So no one could wear the good vests even if they bought them themselves or got them as a gift from family.
So they fucking had to wear the crappy vests that didnt pass the real bullet tests.
this whole story sucks.
the fucking end.
The son gets porn, while the daughter gets textbooks to further her education.
You’ve come a long way, baby!
“His lawyers also defended the hiring of prostitutes for employees and board members, arguing in court papers that it represented a legitimate business expense “if Mr. Brooks thought such services could motivate his employees and make them more productive.”
Sigh. Why am I not surprised?
[re=626617]Prommie[/re]: Every hour of every day…
[re=626772]One Yield Regular[/re]: Hey, you go to war with the corrupt military-petroleum-industrial complex you have, not the one you yada yada yada.
Years ago Henny Youngman was riding down a Miami Beach hotel elevator after a show, it stopped, then the door opened onto a floor with a bar mitzvah going on.
Mr. Youngman got off, found the father of the young man, and said “Hi- I’m Henny Youngman. I’ll give you five minutes for two thousand dollars.”
The Dad said “Henny Youngman? Of course!”
Mr. Youngman did his five minutes, collected his two grand, then got back on the elvator and rode it down to the lobby.
[re=626558]actor212[/re]: Is this the same guy who’s “charity” for wounded vets gave Cuccinelli’s campaign all that money?
Nope — that’s Bobby Thompson.
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