Levi Johnston and his new wife and old kid are now a Vaudeville family that travels the country singing and dancing and acting out vignettes about America and abortions and four-wheelers. Levi has taken the first step in joining Bristol as a certified actor by appearing in an R&B video. “And what’s the video about? A loony interfering mum,” asks and answers The Guardian, Britishly. Yes, the song and video are based on Levi’s relationship to Sarah and Bristol Palin.
In conceiving the video, director Evan Winter admitted that he “riffed off [Johnston's] real-life situation”. It shows a couple sharing “tender moments before they are driven apart by the young woman’s mother”, the Associated Press reports. “Unaware that her mom’s interference forced her boyfriend to go, she throws herself into her mother’s arms. She tells her mother that she was wrong about Levi.”
LEVI? DID WE SAY LEVI? WE MEANT THE HIP-HOPPER CHARACTER IVEL, WHO WILL BE PLAYED BY LEVI WITH ACTING.
Now fast forward 12 years and image Trig making a special guest appearance on stage to sing “The Yankee Doodle Boy” and dance around in a jockey costume. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Meanwhile, warblogger Mercede Johnston has an interesting perspective on needing to buy an issue of Us Weekly with your brother on the cover in Wal-Mart and trying not to be seen with it and also reading about yourself and your phone habits in it. [Guardian/Mercede Johnston]
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“Levi Johnston and his new wife and old kid are now a Vaudeville family that travels the country singing and dancing and acting out vignettes about America and abortions and four-wheelers.”
Ladies and gentlemen . . . THE ARISTOCRATS!
You have to hand it to Levi. He has managed to rack up 16 minutes of fame. That’s better than the dude on “The Bachelor.”
This stuff is right up Sarah’s alley, what with her Shakespearian word-smithing and all.
In fair Wasilla, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents’ strife.
Levi as Romeo?
Bristol as Juliet?
Sarah Palin as President of Wasilla???
So will it feature the other mom? All good music videos need at least one crack whore.
Times are so tough I can only afford a Mercede.
Mercede Johnson has an “Official Blog”?
The Mind Reels . . . .
Kevin Federline is dead, long live Kevin Federline….
From Volvo’s, I mean Mercede’s internet novella:
“Bristol, if you ever feel overwhelmed with all the decisions involved with planning a wedding I would love to offer you my help. I am a very good event planner, decorator, and I have great taste.”
Ha. But speaking of taste, I am noticing a pattern. Levi, Mercede, Tripp Easton – you know a family has good taste when they name their children after brands.
Way to go, Levi — now the wedding’s off again until you rejigglify and exmopiate your performance in the video.
Mo moose, mo problems…
Thought this was going to happen. Can’t read this without picturing CGI Palins.
Who else could play him, save Robert Preston?
Is it too late to join Team Mercede?
[re=626015]Aguacatero[/re]: ♪♫ My friends all drive Porchia, I must make amends… ♪♫
“conceiving the video”… Oh, for fuck’s sake!
[re=626016]Neilist[/re]:
http://www.mercedejohnston.com/:
Her response was, “I read a text message on Levi’s phone from his sister about setting him up with one of her friends. I was pissed, like, “you know what? You don’t have a job or an education, I’m not doing this with you.” So we broke up. He saw Tripp every few months after that.”
No, Jack, YOU’RE welcome.
And low-hanging moose merkin notwithstanding, I believe Levi’s recent spread in Playgirl proved that he’s no Uncle Miltie.
that poor child (the baby, i forget it’s name — trig? is it really trig? brother to calc and geom?) — that poor child, being raised in the fishbowl of the alaska grifting clan. this has got to be some sort of child abuse. when at age thirteen he goes off and wastes an entire salmon fishery, don’t say i didn’t warn you.
This must be the political blog equivalent of picking through Phyllis Diller’s garbage.
[re=626021]birfday sex[/re]: I have a public school teacher friend who maintains, “Half my students are named after consumer products.”
As I read that and got very upset. I was in fact stunned.
Apparently grammar don’t fall from the tree at all. People laughed in the 1950s when it was suggested that the intense media environment of television would have deleterious consequences (Mercede, that means bad caca). We now live in a totally wired world, with almost instantaneous communication, so that a stupid remark lives on and, not being able to be retracted, must be embraced (see refudiated). Fortunately most people have the attention span of a 3-month-old golden retriever pup and rather than be conflicted with divergent views of reality are given grace by said instantaneous communication which redirects their attention: “Look: a squirrel”, and they can function.
The Palin family are the Medicis of America.
[re=626044]Extemporanus[/re]: Then Johnson’s johnson would not be low hanging fruit, so to speak.
[re=626044]Extemporanus[/re]: Was just going to ask: is he hung like Milton Berle? We doubt that very much.
Trisomy-G. Let’s remember she named her child after his condition. With a different condition, he’d be little Spina Biff.
Mercede’s sisters Pontia and Cadilla have yet to be heard from, though.
Mercede and her sister Vulvo.
[re=626073]V572625694[/re]: Youch! What about the chunky one, HeavyChevyia?
I think those two crazy kids just might make it after all.
[re=626054]Jukesgrrl[/re]:
And I bet their cars and guns all have what we used to call “human” names.
[re=626060]chascates[/re]: I have set all my texting and tweeting devices to send “Look, a squirrel” to all my friends and associates every little while, achieving the same effect as my usual drivel and at less mental cost.
I can’t get too up in Levi’s face. He was quite funny and charming when I saw him on Kathy Griffin’s show. He has a lot more personality than resident lump of a sperm donor that carries Tori Spelling’s purse.
Then again, maybe I’m just cutting him a little more slack because I don’t envy his position of having the queen dysfunctional bitch of the Universe as a mother-in-law.
Only the Brave,
Only the Brave,
Only the Brave Deserve the Fair!
I know the new crew is cranking it up a couple notches, but can we yet look at our reflections in our monitors and say, honestly, we’re *really* back to WARBLOG status?
Can we?
For those of you looking to get your sexy smooth freak on, here’s a banging music video by the female impersonator “Courtknee Cocks”-cum-T&A recording artist “Brittani Senser”, in whose upcoming joint “Lil’ Ivel” will just be stone cold actifying.
Oops, my bad. Never mind.
AT LEAST LEVI HAS A JOB.
I can’t wait to hear that song to find out what rhymes with fame whore.
[re=626073]V572625694[/re]: And the other sister, BM.
[re=626023]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “Exmopiate,” kudos.
In other news: Finally, something to dethrone “November Rain” as the worst musideo, ever.
[re=626060]chascates[/re]: “Look a squirrel”. That takes effort. And sometimes it confuses them. Particularly when there are in fact squirrels about. I just go “THING!!1!” If they need any additional detail they supply it themselves.
[re=626002]dr.giraud[/re]: Long day…bad day – It’s 9:30 and this is the first real chance I’ve had to read Wonkette and what do I see?
You have won the day for me, my friend.
Backup vocals by Larry the Cable Guy and Marty Moose.
dunno why Tina Fey has been cast as the mum.
They can call it whatever they want, but it’s still Dadaism.
“Levistol” shoulda went Juggalo . Nuthin says nice moosebilly Johnson/Palin couple like Faygo and meth.
[re=626095]ella[/re]: “open sore”?
[re=626095]ella[/re]: same sore.
game score.
claim more.
lame bore.
tame poor.
I’m beginning to like this boy. He is completely messing with her that he might be cancelling out a bit of Kristol’s unblinking reflexive sycophancy, which would be s suitable fate for that poodle.
OT: My dad taught Irving Kristol at CCNY and thought IK didn’t learn a f*&^in’ thing. Congenital stupidity seeks its own flavor, no?
I used brackets to italicize and instead they made the bracketed words disappear, making me look Palin-level literate. What’s the italics trick here? Somebody he’p me!
[re=626133]WriteyWriterton[/re]: palin has hookworms, put an i, or b, or STRIKE where the asterisk is in those brackets. It’s so easy, I lost 30 lbs. in two weeks.
[re=626060]chascates[/re]: The Palins aren’t the Medicis of America, they’re the Borgias. (Or at least they’re working on it.)
[re=626133]WriteyWriterton[/re]: Instead of brackets use the greater-than and the less-than signs, like straight html. The brackets that are inserted into the comment replies are the only things that the page interprets using brackets, so that’s slightly deceptive.
This being an “R&B” video, I assume the Levi-boy will be in blackface.
It’s OK, he’s from Alaska.
[re=626133]WriteyWriterton[/re]: [re=626140]Radiotherapy[/re]: HTML Fail, yeah what wookie said.
[re=626095]ella[/re]: Saks is my favorite store!
[re=626141]Big Liver[/re]: Agreed. Tragically, Levi will only figure it out when his Spaghetti-os taste like bitter almonds.
[re=626039]Sharkey[/re]: Well, come on!
She had to name her daughter “Mercede.” After all, there was only one of her, and she wasn’t going to name her a plural!
[re=626123]user-of-owls[/re]: Dadaism is intentional. Bathos is not.
I hate to say it, but Amusing Ourselves to Death was wrong on the mechanisms and right on the thesis.
[re=626125]El Pinche[/re]: Probably no one’s reading this post anymore, but: “fuckin’ birth control. How dies it work?”
[re=626002]dr.giraud[/re]: Damn you/tip of the hat! I was about to submit the exact same comment, word-for-word.
[re=626051]slappypaddy[/re]: Trig is Sarah’s Downs baby. The other one is Tripp. Yeah.
[re=626087]Extemporanus[/re]: Her lyrics are … easy to understand. 5 stars out of 5.
Hopefully they will come up with a way to incorporate hookworms.
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