good ol'-fashioned lynchings

Lindsey Graham Finally Hanged, Beaten In Effigy In South Carolina

Flaming.Last week, a “nationally-known pro-life supporter from Washington, D.C.,” Randall Terry, came to Greenville, South Carolina and hanged and beat up effigies of Sen. Lindsey Graham. There is a precious photo gallery of this historical event of lolz, which may prove to be the turning point in our nation’s history. Photo One: Bystanders look on in utter glee. Photo Three: Lindsey’s head appears to be taped to a stuffed duck’s ass. Photo Four: Some delinquent hits the Lindsey pinata. Photo Six: Said delinquent looks evil and also dubious as abortion guy puts his arm around him. ET CETERA.

The anti-abortion activist filmed two skits while in downtown. One of them involved Randall’s employee constructing gallows to hang the mannequin with Graham’s picture on it.

The other skit involved a stick and a pinata. The workers hit the pinata, which had a picture of Graham on it, until plastic babies fell out of it.

Excellent! Nice “skits!” Hire this man, Lorne Michaels. [WYFF via good ol' chascates]

Related

Sponsored Video

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

72 comments

  1. Mahousu

    From the photos, it looks like Terry’s “crowd” consisted of three people – and that’s counting the photographer taking the pictures.

  2. SayItWithWookies

    Welcome to the Cult of the Fetus — where they love life so much they’ll dance naked around your hanged, burning effigy to protect it.

  3. KilgoreTrout_XL

    Oh, ok. The little plastic babies falling out of the pinata 6 feet onto the asphalt was a metaphor. Cool. Let’s all go get laid.

  4. JMP

    But remember, Randall Terry is not a terrorist supporter and never tries to incite people to violence at all, and bears no responsibility for the assassination of Dr. Tiller.

  5. weejee

    So if I am understanding that skit; in South Carolina the collect all aborted fetuses and pump them in the Senator’s ear making Lindsey Graham’s head a fetal piñata. Who knew? Or are we dealing with a logical disconnect something on the scale of the Martian Valles Marineris, which would make wingnuts aliens from Mars. Wonkette blogs, you decide.

  6. assistant/atlas

    Why does that young lesbian lady with the bowl cut keep showing up in the all the Blingees lately? Does this have something to do with Lindsey’s gheyness?

  7. Extemporanus

    Lindsey Graham should applaud those photos — for the first time in his life, he actually appears to be somewhat well-hung.

  8. Geogre

    [re=625869]JMP[/re]: How dare you imply that there is any reason to suspect that demonstrations of this sort might encourage violence?

    Don’t you realize that Lindsay Graham is forcing Randall Terry to do this? By the abortions he’s performing. By talking to people. By talking to people who don’t want to outlaw abortions. People who don’t want to ban all abortions in all cases.

    Georgia Right to Life just released a press release saying Sarah Palin endorsed a candidate (Karen Handel) who would have aborted Trigger. The reason? Years ago, when Handel was a county person, she was moderate on choice once.

  9. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=625867]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: I thought it was a little macabre at first, until I realized that the metaphor was about liberation. Not of babies, but of the insanity that bubbles inside one’s brain.

  10. Extemporanus

    [re=625870]weejee[/re]: “The thing’s hollow…it goes on forever…and — oh my God — it’s full of ‘tards!”

  11. AnnieGetYourFun

    Randall Terry: The only man alive who can make me feel a little sorry for old Gheyface Graham.

  12. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=625877]Geogre[/re]: That’s two of us that read this and thought macabre. I feel better, more sure of my assessment now.

  13. Lazy Media

    Man, ol’ Used-Car Randy Terry has fallen pretty far down the wingnut fame ladder. He used to lead THOUSANDS of protesters in blockading abortion clinics. Now he’s doing half-assed street theater in third-tier South Carolina burgs.

  14. Bordo

    Can’t someone place a puke funnel down Randall Terry’s throat and pour in placentas until they come out his ears?

  15. Jim89048

    I’ll wait for Lindsey’s senior bear Walnuts! to clarify before I comment further.

  16. chascates

    U.S. Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins needn’t worry as Maine hasn’t a long and colorful history of lynchings. Kay Bailey Hutchinson, on the other hand,…

  17. Sgt. Biyatch

    They should’ve burned an effigy of Graham as a fetus and had full size Lindsey dolls inside the pinata. That would really have hammered their point home.

    Also that is the most creative Blingee I’ve seen in a long, long time.

  18. Limeylizzie

    [re=625884]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I had exactly the same feeling,Randall Terry is a fool and a criminal, poor little Lindsey is nowhere near as disgusting he is.

  19. Oldskool

    On the same site it says, “Teen Killed During Family Target Practice” so why wasn’t he over there instead, standing behind that target protecting that kid?! Because Randall Terry hates kids AND baby dolls, that’s why!!

  20. WarAndGee

    Hey the guy is only expressing what 97% of America wants. BIG GOVERNMENT SHOULD FORCE EVERY WOMAN TO CARRY HER PREGNANCY TO FULL TERM!

  21. JMP

    [re=625858]Aguacatero[/re]: Oh, I’d say any of the Phelps’ families “God hates fags/America” protests are the most pathetic, and vile. Actually I’m surprised Wonkette didn’t note their protesting of Comic-Con last week, and the ensuing costumed counter-protest:
    http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2010/07/comic-con_reacts_to_fred_phelp.php

    [re=625861]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Another internet columnist I regularly read refers to them as “embryo fetishists”, which I think captures the group well.

    [re=625876]Geogre[/re]: Graham’s imagined crime is worse than that; he’s not using Roe v Wade as a single-issue litmus test to determine if he’ll vote to confirm a Supreme Court nominee.

  22. largefoot

    Randall Terry, the right wing’s favorite domestic terrorist I mean life loving patriot!

  23. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    But when will Randall Terry use his tanks to pull down the giant statues of Lindsey Graham that fill the South Carolina countryside?

  24. Surfeit O'Hubris

    Needz moar criminal charges for terrorist threats against an elected official. Uhh, and trucknutz.

  25. RoscoePColtraine

    The metaphor of the beating of the pinata, deconstructed:

    The pinata itself: The issue of abortion, itself
    The stick: LOVE
    The breaking open of the pinata’s guts: Triumph, victory which will come, following enough LOVE
    The plastic babies: **I don’t know, should’ve been candy, right?

  26. Dashboard_Buddha

    I find it very amusing when conservatards feed on themselves…but the tiny baby thing just creeped me the fuck out.

  27. Decker

    If you squint a little, it looks like the gay smiley face is yakking on the Lindsay doll. That seems a much more fitting metaphor than setting the doll on fire.

  28. gbear

    The old cowboy holding the non-Linsey-Graham end of the rope does a pretty good job of hiding himself behind a 4×4 post. He seemed to get that appearing in photos like this might not be a cool idea. Good choice, given that everyone else participating in the scene looks incredibly stupid. Wonder if he was an employee of Terry who got dragged along?

  29. BlueStateLiberal

    [re=625894]WarAndGee[/re]: Yeah, hang every pregnant woman up by the neck and beat her until the babies fall out. Makes sense to me. Does it to you?

  30. Hemp Dogbane

    Verb + noun + “until plastic babies fell out of it”. Was that Taibbi or P. J. O’Rourke?

  31. One Yield Regular

    Randall Terry is really going to regret this when Lindsey Graham decides to have an abortion.

  32. Rotundo

    [re=625877]Geogre[/re]: Yeah, I picked up on that right away as well. Then I figured it played well into the hanging Senator Graham motif used by the Randall Terry nutjobs.

  33. Geogre

    [re=625896]JMP[/re]: “Graham’s imagined crime is worse than that; he’s not using Roe v Wade as a single-issue litmus test to determine if he’ll vote to confirm a Supreme Court nominee.”

    So, RoscoePColetrane and I are right: it is about a dance of death. Let’s see if I can do this safely. (I’ll put oven mitts over my ears.)
    1. Lindsay doesn’t make overturning Roe v. Wade the only issue that matters.
    2. A SC candidate might get on the court who does not express a desire to overturn Roe v. Wade.
    3. Roe v. Wade will never be overturned.
    4. Babbies are murdered.
    5. Lindsay Graham is full of dead babbies.
    6. Our heads hemorrhage, and we start jerking our arms around as if with dystrophy.
    7. All fall down.

    Randall Terry must really admire the mullahs. They get to do this sort of thing all the time, and they can just issue fatwahs without consulting anyone.

  34. gbear

    Jeez, I like the top two headlines at the side of the photo gallery:

    Teen Killed During Family Target Practice

    11 Cars Go Up In Flames During Church Service

    And Randall Terry really is a fat ugly fuck, isn’t he?

  35. Lazy Media

    My favorite piece of Randall Terry nut-think is this: He constantly said divorce was a major, major sin, then cheated on his first wife, got divorced, was shunned by his church, and later became a Roman Catholic. Now he says that his Roman Catholic faith teaches him that his first marriage wasn’t a REAL marriage, so he’s OK on the divorce front. I figure after he trades in wifey No. 2 on a younger model, he’ll convert to polygamous Mormonism.

  36. Ducksworthy

    [re=625861]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I suspect there is a sexual deviation that afflicts all these males with fetus fetishes. And I’m willing to speculate that it has to do with being raised in the catholic church.

  37. lukewarm

    Randall Terry, like all other supporters of terrorism, should be on the no-fly list. Waddle to South Carolina the old-fashioned way, Terry.

  38. Ducksworthy

    [re=625896]JMP[/re]: Thank you for pointing out the ComiCon counter protest. Bender is my hero.

  39. you cannot be serious

    Genius in Blingee: Ms. Graham’s ovaries linked by a magical rainbow of fallopian tubes.

  40. DustBowlBlues

    Sometimes it’s hard to live in states like OK and SC and keep your mouth shut in public. Tonight I have to go to a catfish dinner to benefit some woman who got sick and had to use a leg, or something, before her health insurance began at her new job. Said dinner will be served by dickwads who are going to vote against Drew Edmondson and for Mary Fallin because they do not want any socialist health care.

    I, however, am pissed that I’m asked to contribute when I’m on of the people who vote for Democrats and taxes so that the selfish will be forced to share the burden with the generous.

    Oh, and did I mention that they’ll want to keep millionaires from being taxed? Just in case, you know, they win the Powerball or invent computers.

    Please-will someone explain stoopid to me?

  41. Native of SL UT

    Why isn’t Randall Terry in jail with his buddy Jack Abramoff? If he was, the crowd around him would of been much bigger than this measly showing. Except they wouldn’t have been doing any effigy thingies. They would have been lining up to ass rape Randall.

  42. Native of SL UT

    [re=625907]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I think it means that if fetus’ had a hard candy shell, they would be pretty tasty.

  43. richardwb1

    “Lindsey’s head appears to be… a stuffed duck’s ass.”

    Do kids today even know that the Duck’s Ass was a hairstyle popular with teenage delinquent boys in the 1950s and early 60s that featured longish greased hair, combed in back to resemble the south end of a duck waddling north?

  44. Troubledog

    [re=626033]richardwb1[/re]: What you’re talking about is actually called a Duck Tail. Your faux pas has given me reason to suspect you may be here illegally. Show us your birth certificate.

  45. Troubledog

    No wonder nobody stopped or paid attention. From WYFF’s website, here are the highlights of what’s going on in Greenville, SC today:

    Local News
    Violent Rampage Leaves Woman Dead; Others Injured 1hr
    11 Cars Go Up In Flames During Church Service
    Teen Killed During Family Target Practice
    ‘Armed, Dangerous’ Suspect In Custody
    Woman Accused Of Slashing Boyfriend

    Regional Headlines
    Woman Found Drowned In 5 Feet Of Water
    Man Killed Trying To ‘Slap’ Train
    Toddlers Taken At Gunpoint Found Safe
    Police: ‘Tie-Dyed’ Bank Robber Arrested
    Man Shot On Front Porch Dies In Hospital

  46. Rotundo

    Love the call letters of the local station covering this: WYFF. YiFF Television? Since they are taping the Senators’ image to a pinata ducks’ ass and smacking it until it shoots a load of plastic babies, it just seems too serendipitous for words. Brain bleach will be needed for the image of Lindsey getting his duck suit wearing ass spanked however.

  47. Rock Ripsnort

    “Man killed trying to ‘slap’ train”?

    Damn, that’s gonna keep me awake all night.

  48. One Yield Regular

    [re=625937]gbear[/re]: Teen Killed During Family Exercise of Second Amendment Rights. There. Corrected.

  49. richardwb1

    [re=626037]Troubledog[/re]: If memory serves, in polite company the style was referred to as a D.A.
    It’s still a Duck’s Ass.
    (Cali Bay Area)

  50. just pixels

    What is it with South Carolina gluing Senate candidate photos to things? First(?) it was Alvin Green on the Statue of Liberty, now it Lindsey Graham on — well, I don’t know what that thing is.

    Let’s glue Randall Terry’s photo to a sculpture of Gauri (India’s goddess of purity). She’s so much like him, people may not even notice the photo.

    Or Andrew Breitbart’s face on a status of a Ku Klux Klansman — WAIT, I think there’s already a statue like that — it’s ALL OF THEM.

    Or Sarah Palin’s face on the tail of Alaska Airlines planes. Oops, too late.

  51. TheWaltonFirm

    [re=625896]JMP[/re]: Thing about Westboro Babtist is that they protest everything equally and its the exact same protest every time. Its, like, what they do, as a family. After each protest they go home and start getting ready for the next protest. There isn’t really anything about them that hasn’t been covered in the media already. The best coverege ever was the show Louie Theroux did for the BBC.

  52. Can O Whoopass

    Rev. Ted Haggard says, Tiger Woods has to play golf, I have to snort coke off man-wang.

  53. Capricatony

    Thank god for the RINOs, they’re the only ones the baggers hate more than… everyone else but themselves.

  54. Katamaran

    Know what’s so funny? When I first read the headline, I thought they were lynching Lindsay Lohan in effigy.
    Which would also make sense. That movie with Jane Fonda was a crime against nature.

  55. jcakes

    Jesus! Why can’t Randall Terry just complete his death spiral and get off of my world already!!

Comments are closed.