AYN RAND'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND  9:18 am July 26, 2010

Brotherhood of Steele: Ayn Rand In the 21st Century

by Benjamin Frisch

Back that thang up!
Once, these comics were about serious political satire, but now they are all basically Bad Boys 2. Will guns and bootstraps help us get film options? COME ON OLIVER STONE YOU KNOW YOU WANT THIS.

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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 42 comments }

ManchuCandidate July 26, 2010 at 9:29 am

What up?

Monsieur Grumpe July 26, 2010 at 9:32 am

I didn’t see that coming. When will Newt be introduced?

MLHencken July 26, 2010 at 9:33 am

Notice anything different?

Terry July 26, 2010 at 9:39 am

So, the Palins are Cylons? It does seem fitting. The GOP created them and now they will destroy the GOP. I wonder if Sarah has a slinky red dress and “%^&* me” pumps?

PrimlyStable July 26, 2010 at 9:39 am

I feel a bit ill.

ManchuCandidate July 26, 2010 at 9:40 am

[re=625397]Terry[/re]:
Please no Sarah Palin comparisons to Six. Thanks.

JMP July 26, 2010 at 9:40 am

Oliver Stone? Nah, he’d offer up a bunch of new, paranoid conspiracy theories, ground the story in the 60s counterculture even if there’s no reason for it, and tell it in a rambling non-linear fashion that instead of serving the story stylistically, like in Tarantino’s works, just makes the plot nearly impossible to follow.

If you just want dumb explosions, there are plenty of directors to choose from. Michael Bay of the aforementioned Bad Boys would bring in the loud noises, along with an extra dose of “comedic” racism. McG would add in some gratuitous T&A and lots of jump shots which make the action nearly impossible to follow. Joel Schumacher would also give incomprehensible jump shots, with gratuitous male T&A and lots of bright day-glo colors. Oh, and extraneous nipples on the costumes.

Dashboard_Buddha July 26, 2010 at 9:41 am

Ewww…”Pull my strings, puppet-master”. Gonna take a lot of scotch to get that image out of my mind.

ManchuCandidate July 26, 2010 at 9:42 am

As for the “smoking = conquering fire.”

For Vitter, he sees it as Diapers = “Conquering the toilet”

CrunchyKnee July 26, 2010 at 9:43 am

My mind has been blown, also too.

Terry July 26, 2010 at 9:45 am

[re=625399]ManchuCandidate[/re]:

Ben started it!

Work in Progress July 26, 2010 at 9:45 am

Internet-based nerd props on the “Brotherhood of Steel” Fallout reference

freakishlystrong July 26, 2010 at 9:47 am

I hate Mondays. I hate Mondays less with our new cartoon puppet master Ben Frisch. That singular, hovering mustache representin’ is the fucking shizzle.

Panquake July 26, 2010 at 9:49 am

This is basically Wonkette fanfic and I LOVE BEING PANDERED TO.

PabaBritannica July 26, 2010 at 9:53 am

Black Steele in the Hour of Chaos

pub_option July 26, 2010 at 9:54 am

I can see the satirical intent in portraying Michael Steele as a white man, but he should still look something like Michael Steele.

weejee July 26, 2010 at 10:00 am

[re=625416]pub_option[/re]: Maybe Steele is using Male Pale like MJ in an effort to meet tanning bed aficionado Boner the Orange somewhere in the tonal middle?

MissyLissa July 26, 2010 at 10:06 am

Shit just got real.

Dashboard_Buddha July 26, 2010 at 10:17 am

[re=625403]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Leave Vitter alone! Don’t you know that once you succumb to potty training, all other forms of rebellion are meaningless. Don’t you know he’s a rebel!

Lazy Media July 26, 2010 at 10:33 am

Female cylons: Six, Xena warrior princess, Boomer, Indian presidential aide hotty chick, Col. Tigh’s slutty cougar wife. Nope, Snowbilly fails the hottness test to join that group.

Enjoy the hottest blasphemy in Hollywood history

Can O Whoopass July 26, 2010 at 10:41 am

It’s Spielberg all the way.

bhosp July 26, 2010 at 10:43 am

Hibbledy, Bibbledy!

Can O Whoopass July 26, 2010 at 10:49 am

Unlike Ronald “West Hollywood Crisco” Reagan, George Bush will never have a shrine (Simi Valley Denny’s), a used car lot bigger than Cal Worthington nor a war he won.

Oblios Cap July 26, 2010 at 11:00 am

What kind of sick, twisted mind thinks up crap like this?

Bravo!

Dolmance July 26, 2010 at 11:02 am

These comics are really funny, but they literally make me want to vomit. It’s sort of unusual, this joy and nausea combined. I think the author is going to kill himself at some point.

North of Moscow July 26, 2010 at 11:11 am

[re=625407]Work in Progress[/re]: The Capital Wasteland is sort of how I envision the D.C. area to look after all the Teabaggers go Galt.

Jim89048 July 26, 2010 at 11:14 am

Best Rand comic ever! When will these be stapled together on those cards, so we can riffle them with our thumb, thereby animating them?

Snarkalicious July 26, 2010 at 11:45 am

Neadz moar back-fat.

ithasatilde July 26, 2010 at 11:45 am

This is by far the best one, because it’s 100% accurate. Sad how people don’t realize Palin isn’t so much a right-winger as an idiot psychopath.

Also, thanks to that illustration in his “more comfortable” clothes, I think I have a crush on Michael Steele.

Cranky Little Camperette July 26, 2010 at 11:50 am

[re=625476]Jim89048[/re]: I would love to see them published in handy Jack Chick tract format.

dex July 26, 2010 at 12:22 pm

i need this on a t-shirt, wonkette.

Mad Brahms July 26, 2010 at 12:25 pm

A Fallout pun *and* a Battlestar reference? Oh Ben, you little nerd you. And me, clearly, since I got them.

Broken Malice Machine July 26, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Outstanding reference to Fallout 3…I’m swimming in nerd joy right now. Also, if anyone can create a more accurate representation of the snowbilly it’s because they know her and thus understand the psychopathic behavior on a more personal level. Incidently, when Micheal Steele rescues Rand and then gets all “GOP in the hizzie” you forgot to add the DMC to his RUN, Ken Blackwell. His position in the legion of wingnut shows even more how absolutely cynical the choice of Michael Steele was, “we’ll make are other darky his lieutenant!” Anyway, keep up the good work Wonkette; between the ultra-realistic Ayn Rand comics (no sarcasm intended) and the Sarah Benincasa featurette this site is becomming almost a variety site on its own. Except of course your variety is actually funny and adds to the overall value, not moronic and tragic like the Daily Beast’s…

Broken Malice Machine July 26, 2010 at 1:58 pm

[re=625475]North of Moscow[/re]: Yeah I took one look at the DC Wasteland and realized this could only have been properly imagined with Dubya and the GOP in control of government, sort of a harbinger of things to come. Incidently, for my college writing course I wrote a short story of an alternate history in which McCarthy doesn’t get destroyed and instead gets elected thus ushering in wingnuts one after the other in the presidency; the world ends in a nuclear fireball when President Robertson decides the rapture is now and nukes the giant USSR…all told from the perspective of an liberal ex-senators son from hiding; this was of course before I’d been introduced to snowbilly…

Sleeves July 26, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Don’t know how many times I should thank you for this, so thank you.

NotMother? July 26, 2010 at 5:57 pm

I haz a dream just.like.this. last night.

mumblyjoe July 26, 2010 at 6:07 pm

[re=625397]Terry[/re]: Curse my vivid imagination. There is not enough liquor on the planet to etch that image out of my head. Damn you!

boy_howdy July 26, 2010 at 9:03 pm

[re=625503]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: Just last week I was lobbying for someone to fall out of the helicopter and scream “YAAAAAAAA!!!,” as happens in all of Jack Chick’s best work. We live in hope.

“Manueverers” is the new “refudiate.”

Continuity problem– I’m fairly sure the historical Ayn Rand would have been repulsed by the big honkin’ gold cross hanging off of Mr. Mike. The cross is a symbol of sacrifice. Therefore a golden cross is anathema to the spirit of selfishness. She would have scolded him to rethink his premises.

I’m disheartened by the relatively few comments this thing attracts every week, given the quality of the work. Maybe it’s just too damned disturbing. There’s not enough Brillo in the world to scrub the residue of panel #11 from my brain. What is this, Ayn making bedroom eyes after the RNC chair offers her a cigar? Could yet another vintage, rational, self-interested, Randian, objectivist rape sequence be just around the corner? And will Michael Steele make it to the final panel if she does?

foog July 27, 2010 at 6:27 am

Looks like Oliver Stone might want to cast Mel Gibson as Ayn…

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38418520/ns/today-entertainment/

libwakman July 27, 2010 at 9:53 am

Jamie Foxx can play Steele in the cinema version..what the fuck, he portrayed Ray Charles & that man was as blind as Steele. Samuel L.Jackson is just wayyy too tres cool for the role, unless the Steeleman starts sporting an AK47 at public events & quotes bible verses before he caps sum ass.
Potential title: Aynnie get your gun.

Joey Ratz July 28, 2010 at 1:23 pm

[re=625662]Broken Malice Machine[/re]: It’s like how Al Jourgensen writes his best materioal when there’s a repub in the White House. Motivation, baby!

zhubajie August 1, 2010 at 11:43 pm

When does Ayn have sex with Paul the Octopus??

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