Deathstorm Bonnie Killing Florida, Sets Eye on NOLA on Day 95

  oily pelicans
  • Seriously, where are the trust-fund hippies to clean this oil off of me?Deathstorm Bonnie is currently taking its talents to South Beach and raining and blowing really hard but not much else. Bonnie is a disorganized mess cut up by wind shear but that isn’t stopping her from wreaking all kinds of havoc: relief-well drilling and cleanup operations have been suspended until the storm passes. It has, however, been downgraded to a Tropical Depression. You know who else is depressed? All the oily pelicans and flaming turtles. [NOAA]
  • BP’s engineers have such confidence in the new Wondercap installed on the Macondo that they’re going to leave it unmonitored while Tropical Storm Depression Bonnie swirls by. They were really confident about the Deepwater Horizon rig before it exploded, too. [Biloxi Sun Herald]
  • Rep. Ed Markey & Rep. Henry Waxman blame Dick Cheney and his Halliburton Weather Machine for destroying the Gulf of Mexico. You see, this plan was hatched in 2002 deep in Cheney’s secret lair underneath the U.S. Naval Observatory. [Big Government]
  • Shutting off alarms, bells, whistles and flashing lights on oil rigs is completely normal, says a guy from Transocean. It’s standard practice and occurs regularly on Navy and Coast Guard vessels. Nobody wants to wake up at 3 a.m. to a false alarm … they want to wake up to things on fire and shit exploding at 3 a.m. [Houston Chronicle]
  • Question: Does God hate New Orleans? Answer: Yes. [Salon]
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About the author

As the only libertarian at Wonkette Garrett is often the subject of scorn and ridicule by the rest of the communist staff. When he isn't snapping photos of furries in compromising positions he strings sentences together on Massachusetts politics and culture on Boston.com and is a contributor to WGBH radio & teevee. In addition to media he works for a small family owned environmental contractor in Greater Boston. He religiously supports the United States National Team, Boston Red Sox, and Boston Bruins.

View all articles by Garrett Quinn

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15 comments

  1. chascates

    Given the type of politicians that Louisiana elects maybe we shouldn’t be working to stop the loss of wetlands and just let it turn into a huge bay. And any oil that lands on Mississippi should just be set alight in the hopes the entire state might burn.

  2. populucious

    So, now that we’ve made the creatures of the sea all “depressed” with the dying and burning and such, we just need to dump a good supply of Prozac in the water…problem solved…everyone can go.

  3. Imusthaveleftmyhouseat8

    And we are forced to wonder — does God really hate New Orleans and the Gulf Coast? or are we being given this because we’ve proven we can come back from the abyss? … One must wonder…

    No, lady, you “are given this” because you elect corrupt politicians who run your place like a third world country.

  4. weejee

    Why stop the Cheney blame game with his invitation only Energy Task Farce? Let’s really put his trucknutz in a vice and go back to the days when he was CEO at Hellaburpin’.

    If it hadn’t been for the Dick Cheney’s Adam Smith’s invisible hand in granting Hellaburpin’ an exclusive no-bid contract in Iraq worth billions and billions of guilders, it is quire likely that Hellaburpin’ would have been around to fuck-up the cementing job that blew-out and helped realize BP’s Deepwater Horizon little oil burp.

    Why no Hellaburpin’ you might ask? Well back in the day, 1998 to be exact, when the Dick was Hellaburpin’ CEO, our maestro of capitali$m lead the charge in Hellaburpin’ merging with Dresser Industries. But our Dick, being a vision guy, missed is little bit that Dresser had a small asbestos turd in its pocket. The fallout from the asbestos caused the stock value of the new and improved Hellaburpin’ to drop 80% in 2001. Well guess what, our Dick was now Dubba’s Big Dick, and with the no-bid award, Hellaburpin’ is back on easy street and able to screw-up the oil well cement job, the lead to the blow out, that has lead to the bestus of all time vacation summer bidness along the Gulf shore. Hooray!

    Don’t you just love how the free market’s invisible hand chooses winners and losers?

  5. WriteyWriterton

    Wait, what? A link to Breitbart (Big Gubmint)? W.T.F????? I wouldn’t give a link to that sociopath, but I had to go there to be sure it was Breitbart’s site. Disgusting.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    I long ago discovered that the trick to enjoying Cary Tennis’ column (that’s the Salon link, btw) is to read the question — because it’s without fail either interesting, tremendously lurid, eye-poppingly horrifying or tearfully sad) and to completely ignore Cary Tennis’ lugubrious, self-obsessed Aurelian meditations on right and wrong and meaning that bloat his smug little answers into vast sausages of horrific pointlessness.

    And again, in this case, the question is awesome. The answer is that the question harbors a flawed premise. Bad shit happens to New Orleans because New Orleans is situated at the nexus of several different probability streams for bad shit. It sits near the mouth of the largest river in North America, in a delta of unstable silt, below sea level, protected by a vast engineering network easily capable of catastrophic failure through a cascade of bad circumstances, in a state far behind in education, income, tax revenue, economic growth, etc. etc. on the edge of a gulf filled with 27,000 abandoned oil wells in the seafloor, unregulated deepwater drilling, an increasingly poisoned ecosystem that also happens to be the catcher’s mitt for a hurricane automatic pitcher called the southeast Atlantic. Don’t look to fucking God for the answer, honey. Look to climatology, engineering, oceanography, geology and the rest of the sciences.

    Ultimately the answer will involve better management of undersea drilling, repairing the damaged coastal environments, some sort of permanent restructuring of New Orleans (I’ve been bugging my friends with the idea that the only real solution is to fill in the existing city with enough earth so that it can be rebuilt well above sea level — a huge engineering project involving relocating an entire city, filling it in, building it anew and then moving all the inhabitants back. But ultimately it’s either that or desert the place because it’ll always be unstable the way it is). But it’s not god, fate, karma or anything else that has no cause-and-effect relationship to what went on — period.

    I haven’t read Mr. Tennis’ answer and don’t intend to — on bullheaded principle more than anything else. But I’m sure it’s annoying, even if I end up agreeing with him.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    [re=624920]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Damn — for someone who complains about others’ lugubrious self-indulgence, that does go on a bit. It makes me extra happy that y’all are out getting laid or sleeping instead of reading this.

  8. jetjaguar

    Don’t feel bad Wookie, your horrific sausages line was more than worth the price of admission. A+ comment comrade.

  9. x111e7thst

    [re=624938]SayItWithWookies[/re]: If a deity actually exists, this deity might hate the inhabitants of New Orleans and want them to suffer.

  10. Mad Brahms

    Reading that horrid BigGovernment story, I ended up back at McCullough’s piece on how ObaMao knew all about Pearl Harbor, etc.

    His reasoning seems pretty specious, and certainly it’s not the president’s responsibility to monitor every corporate drilling issue, but still, it’s a troubling timeline – are there any rebuttals out there? It’d be nice to have something to throw and teatards next time they bring it up.

  11. weejee

    [re=624976]Mad Brahms[/re]: The issue of BP’s Feb 13, 2010 report to MMS of problems with the Deepwater Horizon reached the general public awareness during BP CEO Tony Hayward’s grilling on June 17, 2010. In the last week or so it has gone viral amongst the wingnutties along with calls that the entire Administration should commit seppuku, or at the very least resign and appoint Palin Prez, and Boner VP.

    Want it both ways much?
    1. Wingtards want gubberment’s giant boot removed from the neck of flailing and impaired business. In short cut away all those regulatory shackles imposed by the socialist libtard government on behalf of THOSE ENVRIONMETALISTS, THOSE SAFETY NUTZ, THE FUCKING COMMUNIST LABOR BOSSES, et al (or continue the list with any and all pinko groups you wish to add).
    2. If NOBAMA and his minions were doing their job, strangling business by fully enforcing all those debilitating regulations, then the Deepwater Horizon blow-up would not have happened because it would have been shut down on Sunday February 14 after emergency review of the BP report dated February 13. [ short aside on/ Although the report was dated Feb 13, a Saturday, that doesn't mean that MMS received it then. Sorta like the checks my bidness gets from some clients that arrive in our office two weeks or more after the "date" on the check. just sayin' /short aside ] So since Nobama and his minions didn’t enforce all those loathsome business strangling regulations, and shutdown the rig in February along with arresting everyone employed by BP, they should be tarred tarballed, pelican feathered and run our of town on rails made of Bachmann-repealed bidness-strangling regulations.

    ‘Scusies, this too length discussion of teatard logic has caused my brain to asplode and I must make some fresh coffee, or snort a jelly doughnut.

  12. S.Luggo

    About that disabled alarm system hoo-hah. It can get wery, wery noisy in the middle of the Gulf what wid all dem of fishy chirpings and birdie warblings. And ‘splosions. TransGolgotha strongly believes that our American rig lackeys deserve their damn sleep, if not a decent burial at sea. So fuck the hell off.
    http://tinyurl.com/2a3tdw7

    Or just maybe baby I got that “workers” part wrong.
    LA Times July 23rd:
    “Alarms, detectors disabled so top rig officials could sleep.
    The Deepwater Horizon’s fire and gas leak alarms were disabled for at least a year to prevent false alarms from waking up rig leaders, a chief engineer told federal investigators.”
    http://articles.latimes.com/2010/jul/23/news/la-oil-spill-disabled-alarms-20100723

    Disabling the alarms and detectors apparently was in the rig officials’ benefits package.

  13. S.Luggo

    [re=624872]weejee[/re]: The Adam Smith’s theory of the Invisible Hand (as read by some to be: the ultimate result of persons pursuing their own economic self-interest will be the good of the whole) has it’s corollary in, “Businesses will never do anything stupid to hurt themselves because to do so would be stupid”. Of course, the corollary discounts that decision making is often based on bias, erroneous assumption (e.g., “Captain, the aliens look friendly!”), politics, dogma, emotion and pursuit of short-term gain, both personal and corporate.

    “Irrationality is the real invisible hand” – Dan Ariely, behavioral economist

    http://danariely.com/2009/04/20/irrationality-is-the-real-invisible-hand/

  14. weejee

    [re=625007]S.Luggo[/re]: Nice link, thanks.

    Teh invisible hand comes with a lot of caveat emptor.

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