swooooooooosh swoosh swoosh

‘Crazy Man James’ Is Heating Up Basil Marceaux’s Gubernatorial Race

Crazy Man James with Future Rahm Emanuel (left) and Future Paul Begala (right).Tips have been streaming in today to find “America’s Next Top Basil Marceaux,” and it appears the most worthy contestant just happens to be running against Basil Marceaux himself. “Crazy Man” James Reesor, as he calls himself, is an independent candidate for governor of Tennessee. And he actually has pretty good grammar and is sort of coherent! Look, he actually goes out and campaigns! So who is James Reesor? His Web presence is a rabbit hole of flashing GIFs and swooshing noises, but we’ll try to get to the bottom of it.

According to the bio page, Reesor is an oil painter, a cartoonist, a graphic artist, a singer, a musician, a songwriter, a self-published author (look at all these books you can buy!), and a politician. Oh, and a prophet.

WARNING! Any similarity between me, James Reesor, and John Seigenthaler’s TV show guest is purely coincidental. The fake “Reesor” even had the gull to wear a T-shirt with my name on it. I recommend a full investigation by the TBI, FBI, CIA and all women who like to gossip before learning the facts.

Okay? Whatever. Reesor’s video editing skills are the best, though perhaps his YouTube account name “GovernorJamesReesor” is a bit presumptuous. Here is awkwardly visiting a newspaper office and scaring people:

Sponsored Video

Wait, that is not presumptuous at all! Look at those campaign skillz! Basil Marceaux had better watch his back.

Here’s his news page. Could he make a sickly banner for Wonkette and link to us? We hope! Here’s the top news / disclaimer / whatever this is:

Avid news hounds have had their thinking twisted by deceptions leading to misconceptions for more than a generation. Satan and his demonic underlings have slowly, but consistently, taken over powerful media empires. Most information being disseminated in this sick world has been corrupted for evil purposes. Honest and factual accounts of current events is seldom made available! You will be amazed at how the same people, places, things and events are portrayed differently. On one side, you will witness clearly stated versions from God’s perspective — while on the other side, Satan’s versions will be making you feel crazy.

Right. On behalf of the media, sorry about that, Crazy James.

Oh, be sure to buy his “FAMOUS CAMPAIGN SOUVENIRS.”

Finally on his campaign blog, we find some issue positions:

HYPERINFLATION will drastically impact the lives of average Americans in coming months. Devaluation of the dollar will make prices for almost everything unaffordable. The federal government will NOT be there for most of us when disasters strike! Do you have a water well or a well-stocked pantry?

AMERICAN STATES must disengage from federal government entanglements. Survival of citizens will not be possible if we allow our resources to be squandered by DC degenerates! We are fast becoming a “dog-eat-dog” civilization. Do you have a gun to protect your family and home from street thugs?

Democrats and Republicans are not what they pretend to be! The two-party system is a corrupt, media promoted political machine that keeps like-minded idiots in power. Voting for them changes nothing but names and faces. Liars cannot be trusted to honor the ideas, dreams, or heartfelt desires of voters.

As a White Horse Independent gubernatorial candidate, I have been proposing a seven-year transition to cut the size of state government and lower taxes by 30-50 %…disengage from federal entanglements… create a Mind Formation System to educate citizens… and drop two stars from our flag to symbolize unity.

We got work to do!

Yes, we do! Mind Formulation sounds like a promising idea. And the flag this is better and makes more sense than Basil Maraceaux’s flag ideas. As for other ideas, the “Ideas” portion of the blog is password protected, so who knows? If you want to know, you can buy them in book form, however.

Perhaps there will be more info on his Twitter account.

It is really difficult to keep up with everything Crazy James does on the Internet. Here is a Huffington Post comment about Alvin Greene:

“Congratulations to South Carolina voters for not letting name recognition or big money spenders get in the way of making the right choice. Any candidate that is legally qualified and capable of getting their name on the ballot should be respected.

Considering that I’m a self-described White Horse Independent gubernatorial candidate wanting to be elected governor of Tennessee on my 72nd birthday — 2 November 2010 — reading this story about a ‘mystery man’ has encouraged me. I shall continue to refuse contributions like he did, use a computer to express myself on the web — even though he didn’t, and hope that a miracle will happen for me, too.

Honest, but poor citizen candidates like myself are hard for media reporters to find without doing a Google search. Not one of my press releases has seen the light of day in Tennessee since 18 May 2008 — even though I was the first candidate to announce on that date.”

Finally here are some of the many YouTube videos. Here, Reesor goes to his parking-lot campaign event for a speech, but nobody shows up:

“Crazy Man James invades children’s play area at McDonald’s.” Creepy!

Here he lets you know who his opponents are. There, look, it’s Basil:

And of course, Talking To Birds And Squirrels.wmv:

You can spend an entire weekend looking through this stuff. As you should. [Crazy Man James Reesor via Wonkette operative "Christy F."]

Related

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

47 comments

  1. Chernobyl Soup

    When Reeser and Sharron Angle breed they’re going to create a whole new fascinating species of something.

  2. SayItWithWookies

    Wow — who’d’ve thought that the home of Andrew Jackson would churn out insane bumpkins who look and sound like they’ve spent too many years in the deep woods living on jimsonweed, roadkill and corn mash? Oh, wait.

  3. Joshua Norton

    Yeeeeeee Haw. If’n it’s Tennessee talkin’, it must include talk about secession.

    I’d like to see those mouth breathers try to last 6 months without their constant flow of Federal money.

  4. Oldskool

    I’m dissappointed Alvin has been upstaged so soon. Our cup runneth over with crazy I guess.

  5. WadISay

    If I were Reesor, I would try to conflate Basil Marceaux with Marcel Marceaux and Bezu Fache.

  6. Tom's Mom

    It says on his bio page, “I no longer wish to live in a place where I am surrounded by disrespectful, immature and rude people.”

    I think that might be why no one showed up at his parking lot speech. Those people are called “voters”.

  7. Autochthon

    OK, wtF! is going on in Tennessee??? As a native Floridian, I bitterly resent the Volunteer State muscling in on our “schizophrenic lunacy” turf. There’s a reason the Bermuda Triangle’s right next to our state, ya know.

    Let the Tennesseans find their own metier, dang it…

  8. PabaBritannica

    God, I wish I’d come up with any of these characters.

    [re=624806]Autochthon[/re]: What is with the crazies everywhere running this year? Alvin Green, Ernest, Basil, this guy, the guy in NC who said God was going to drop a 1000 ft tall pyramid on Greenland, Oily Taintz. If this is the result of Barack Obama being president, I want him to stay in office forever!

  9. Autochthon

    [re=624822]PabaBritannica[/re]: I think the Teabagger’s siren song is luring them from their double-wide trailers and their mother’s basements, like flushing a covey of slow, fat, crazy-ass grouse from the gorse…

  10. Neilist

    Wingut Candidate for Governor of Tennessee? And not one word about the 2nd Amendment, guns, or . . . well . . . guns?

    I’m not believing it.

    Bob Lee Swagger: “Welcome to Tennessee, the patron state of shootin’ stuff.”

  11. hoosiermama

    “Do you have a water well or a well-stocked pantry?”

    Sir! Yes! Sir! And plenty of sweet, sweet Ameros. I’m ready!

  12. qaf

    Breathe into this paper bag for a bit, son. Unless you want to end up wearing a truss for the next eighty years.

  13. revmod

    “Democrats and Republicans are not what they pretend to be! The two-party system is a corrupt, media promoted political machine that keeps like-minded idiots in power. Voting for them changes nothing but names and faces. Liars cannot be trusted to honor the ideas, dreams, or heartfelt desires of voters.”

    Is this guy cribbing from Nader’s presidential campaigns? Boy, that is crazy!

  14. Troubledog

    His pearl of wisdom is this gem though – much like Basil wants to make things better by giving more money to schools (and of course SCHOOL VIOLENTS), this guy has identified the cynical ruse played on all the sheeple:

    Democrats and Republicans are not what they pretend to be! The two-party system is a corrupt, media promoted political machine that keeps like-minded idiots in power. Voting for them changes nothing but names and faces. Liars cannot be trusted to honor the ideas, dreams, or heartfelt desires of voters.

    And I do agree with every word of that, Mr. Reesor.

  15. blinky_twinkie

    [re=624791]facehead[/re]: You, sir, have drilled into the molten core of this fiery, Satan-fueled debate. Wake up, SHEEPLE!

  16. Johnny Zhivago

    Although both of them belong in an insane assylum, there is a subtle difference between the two:

    Basil = emotionally disturbed individual

    James = just plain fucking crazy

  17. chascates

    This is the message from God for all nations before the return of Christ.

    If He’s coming back why bother with running for governor? Trying to elevate yourself over over Christians will just piss Him off and when He gets pissed…

  18. Sharkey

    I can’t find the information I’m looking for.

    What variety of psychedelics does he prefer? I’m only asking because his videos gave me an LSD flashback.

    Does he believe, like Larry Hagman, that all politicians should take LSD?

    He’s almost got my vote, there’s just these loose ends that need to be tied up. TIA.

  19. EdFlinstone

    Well Tennessee may want to consider keeping the polling places open longer, because there is some tough choices for Governor with this all-star slate of nutjobs.

  20. Oblios Cap

    [re=624850]Troubledog[/re]:

    Reesor hit the nail on the head with that quote. Blind squirrel, acorn. Also.

  21. Custersdeadhorse

    Ah! The real question is which two stars does he want to drop from the American Flag under God.? I, for one, recommend the star that represents Tennessee. The other one is a bit more difficult unless we can combine a few states into one star!

  22. Anna Kavan

    More campaigns need a signature sound effect. Whhhhhszooooosh! That’s the sound of Amerijericho.

    “Turn the wheel, Harrison!”

  23. the wiz

    I am reminded of the line in the movie Little Big Man, where Dustin Hoffman says….”SOmetimes life is judt too too ridiculous”

  24. lawrenceofthedesert

    “an oil painter, a cartoonist, a graphic artist, a singer, a musician, a songwriter, a self-published author” — in other words, unemployed, since most of those jobs are so time-consuming that he couldn’t possibly be doing all of them. Politics should be a natural for him.

  25. Pelagius

    I reckon he has the birds’ and squirrels’ votes tied up. Except for that sparrow what shat on his moccs.

  26. Thomas Allen

    I suppose I too would be upset about federal taxes if the damned federal government only gave me back $1.27 for every dollar they took from me. Mississippi gets double their money back. Stop taking my money and giving me only 127% in return!!!! I could get a much better return in tech stocks or real estate (at least, last time I checked).

  27. GOPCrusher

    Forget the Tea Bagger Party. We are witnessing the birth of the next great political party, The Tinfoil Hat Party.

  28. Dave J.

    You guys need to watch that video where he shows up to his campaign event at the parking lot and nobody is there…at 1:20 or so of that clip, it appears that the guy (his son?) driving the car actually has no idea how to drive…and Crazy James teaches him ON THE SPOT. Amazing! Imagine what he could do with our military!

  29. WhoAreThesePeople?

    Wow. I live in Tennessee – born and raised – and am quite involved in the political scene here. We do have a few candidates for governor who show promise as a leader. We are coming off of eight years of an wildly popular governor who is finishing up his term with an unheard-of 74 percent (Mason-Dixon Polling & Research) approval rating.

    The people of Tennessee, I think, crawled under their tables initially upon the emergence of Basil Marceaux on the nation’s pop culture radar, but good-heartedly embraced him with the rest of the country for all the same reasons it did. What’s not to love?

    However, I have got to say, I have never heard of this James Reesor of whom you write. Are you sure you are referring to THIS state of Tennessee? Is there by chance another state in another country called Tennessee? This is my first visit to this Web site, but I am amused that you are having not only an on-going conversation with this James Reesor person, but even a bit of a spat with him with him getting all indignant, and I am right here under his nose and I have never heard of him! Funny stuff…report on, Wonkette.

  30. WhoAreThesePeople?

    Woops. I wrote “…eight years of an wildly popular…” I vacillated between using the word “wildly” and the word “extremely,” so I inadvertently left in my “an” that was being used for my original choice, “extremely.” Just didn’t want people to think I was a total idiot…although this explanation might have defeated my purpose.

Comments are closed.