Linda McMahon To Win the Ladiez Vote With Illogical Ad

  bursting through the walls of congress


This conversation doesn’t really follow a logical path, but that must be because your afternoon editor is a “man” and cannot understand this sort of ladies’ bathroom talk. At the very least, Republican Senate candidate Linda McMahon will win the pivotal Connecticut Kool-Aid Man vote. “Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah!” [via Newell]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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73 comments

  1. Lazy Media

    Key phrase: “It’s a soap opera.” Ladies LOVE them some soap operas, amirite fellas?

  2. WalkinwiththeKing

    She should just stick with hitting her opponent on the head with a fold up metal chair.

  3. facehead

    MEN! Get your testicles out of your ears and listen to what this wrastlin’ bitch has to say!

    OH YEAHHH!!!!!

  4. Texan Bulldoggette

    Well, I do have lady parts, & I think this is a stupid ad. Women don’t say ‘oh yeah’ like that unless they’ve been drinking & someone asks them if they’d bang Bradley Cooper. Linda McMahon certainly does not merit an ‘oh yeah’.

  5. Chernobyl Soup

    500 professional wresting related jobs in Connecticut and God hasn’t smited the whole state for crimes against culture?

  6. JMP

    Yes, ladies love the pro wrestling; as I’m sure do the people of Connecticut, known for its many scenic trailer parks and mullets.

    Funny that these ladies don’t mention the steroids.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Hey — two normal-looking women talking about Linda McMahon as though she were sensible, even though they apparently know nothing about any of her positions, and have no opinion on her traveling homoerotic steroid-fueled death-monster freak show besides that it created jobs. Well, I’m satisfied that she’s legit.

  8. x111e7thst

    [re=624732]WalkinwiththeKing[/re]: If she would hit Lieberman in the head with a chair I’d consider voting for her. If I lived in Connecticut and was a retard.

  9. mookworthjwilson

    Refuse to watch it, but from the screen shot above, I am going to get my wife to punch those women in the face…IN THE FACE!!! CAN YOU SMELLLLLLLLL…WHAT THE MOOK IS COOKING?????

  10. Chernobyl Soup

    [re=624753]Kinkster[/re]: Hicks in the South breed horses all the time but sometimes they get caught and have to perform community service.

  11. problemwithcaring

    The driver’s hand disappears off camera right before the satisfactory “oh-yea’s.” Guess she’s found her cup of tea.

  12. Johnny Zhivago

    Did I catch that right, her slogan is “and now for something completely different”?

  13. TheCoolestGuyInTown

    The cliched commercial set-up, that I call “the informative conversation.

  14. rambone

    Can I still vote for Linda even though I don’t have a vagina?

    P.S. Ladies, based on my extensive research of female-female interactions (watching The View and lesbian pornography) I know making eye contact is important when gossiping , but you really should try to keep at least one eye on the road when driving.

  15. EdFlinstone

    She needs to add some of her wrestlin magic to this add, have the 2 chicks get down to their bras and panties and go at it.

  16. FlownOver

    Can’t wait to see her put a head drop on that bitch Mikulski. That’s real rasslin’ legislation, that is.

  17. tiny mexican

    As a vaginal-American, I don’t get it either, but I’m pretty sure the lady on the left is a dyke. OHHHHHHHHH YEAHHHH!

  18. wilbro

    I am sure Andy Kaufman would have voted for Linda. But she’d have had to wrestle him for it.

  19. Neilist

    “No Nation can be Great when led by a creature that can bleed for a week every month and not die.”

    Thomas Jefferson
    Dead Old White Guy
    Montecello, VA

  20. BlueStateLiberal

    [re=624726]Lazy Media[/re]: We ladies just love our stories as much as you fellas love your wrestling! There’s no way this lady can’t win!

  21. Bubberella

    [re=624807]Neilist[/re]: Mr. Jefferson never said no such thing. But he did say “Sally honey, gimme a shot o leg”.

  22. BlueStateLiberal

    [re=624753]Kinkster[/re]: No, CT hicks listen to ’80s rock, shop at Walmart just like the other hicks, and can’t make a decent pizza to save their lives.

  23. Jukesgrrl

    Yep, all women automatically vote for the female candidate. That’s how Hillary got to be president.

  24. Katydid

    Yeah, this is a CT ad all right, did anyone else notice the Hermes scarf? Greenwich bitches.

  25. ella

    [re=624834]Katydid[/re]: Yes!! I was going to say that’s how I know it’s Connecticut. (Maybe it’s Hermes-inspired.) First thing I noticed, srsly.

  26. Mr. Spanky

    Cougars! For some reason they get me motivated.

    But being the empress of a steroid-enhanced empire is not enough qualification for Ms. McMahon to be elected to any public office.

    However, here in FLA we have Rick Scott running for governor – a man who defrauded millions from Medicare and got away with it.

    God bless America!

  27. dijetlo

    After running it through my “Vag to Peene” translation software and analyzing output, it can accurately be translated into manspeak as
    “Vote for me, I swallow”.
    So yeah, Linda McMahon 2010…it’s a lock.

  28. Neilist

    [re=624819]Bubberella[/re]: Thomas Jefferson said no such thing, you Big Liar.

    Instead, he said . . . .

    Two-toned Prius bound for Mrs. Fields
    Boards sold as MILFs down in New Orleans
    Pampered Dave Vitter knows he’s doing alright
    Hear him whip the Women, diapered around midnight!

    Ah, Old Cougars,how come you taste so good?
    Ah, Old Cougars, just like a young girl should!

    Drum-beat “War!” Liberal blood runs hot
    Lady of the House – Pelosi! – When she’s gonna stop?
    House Boy Boeher knows that he’s going Far Right
    You should a heard him just around midnight

    Ah, Old Cougars, how come you taste so good?
    Ah, Old Cougars, just like a young girl should

    I bet Newt Gringrich is a Screaming Queen
    And all his pages were sweet sixteen
    He’s no Vitter but he knows what he likes
    Another fresh Pampers just around midnight!

  29. Limeylizzie

    [re=624735]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I have been known to say “Oh Yeah” but usually with a really big pause between the Oh and the Yeah and it is usually screamed and has a lot more moaning involved…if you get my drift.

  30. gradgrind

    I think this was filmed in another state. Nobody in Connecticut wears lipstick that dark, except for guys in the wrestling-industrial entertainment sector.

    Partial credit for verite, though. It’s the only state in the union where women still go out to lunch & shopping sporting that “Alex Keaton’s mom” look.

  31. ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=624887]Limeylizzie[/re]: I remember hearing that sort of thing coming around the corner. It is a distant memory. Our anniversary is coming up, as it always comes around this time of year. Likelihood of an “ohhh yeahhh” moment is… it has not come but gone. I am, indeed, a Friday night wonkette commenter.

  32. foulmouthed mrscreant

    I had no idea Lily Tomlin was doing ads now! Maybe she can help to get the word out about the Wonkettemart.

  33. Wisco

    Hey, she ran a three-ring circus freak show once, how different can Washington be? Besides, if you ran a business you’re automatically qualified to write legislation, because it’s really just the same thing.

  34. Sleeves

    [re=624753]Kinkster[/re]: The hicks drive Range Rovers and breed houses.[re=624760]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: So it’s still true…

  35. Blender

    Jesus, how many pity posts is Newell going to get? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  36. DC Hates Me

    Where are these women going, driving their SUV in the middle of the road, at 25mph, at noon, overly dressed, listening to bland rock?

    Stepford, Connecticut.

  37. Zorg

    Uhm, not like my gal pals in Greenwich. The town where boners go to die… After they have attended a service at the First Congregational Church, of course. And Parent’s Day at Greenwich Country Day School…

  38. WriteyWriterton

    I’ve adjured myself to stop swearing so much. “Self,” I said, “your vocabulary is shrinking faster than your memory of better times in the Lower 48.” But I see this, this, I don’t know, guano-spattered *&^%?, and I, like I can’t STOP myself.

    Ears and eyes bleeding? Check!

  39. Can O Whoopass

    When she squeezed my rocks hard and said, “ooooooo yaaaaaaa”, I was moving to Arizona.

  40. BarackMyWorld

    Maybe she can explain why her business forces its performers to work while injured and become as bulky as possible, all while travelling 300 days a year with expenses paid out of their own pockets. Not to mention her show regularly demonstrates and condones violence against women by having its heroic characters assault their female co-workers, and bigotry by encouraging its audience to boo villains for being “evil foreigner” stereotypes.

  41. Mr Blifil

    What exactly are they celebrating at the end there? Washington being “shaken up?” By someone tangentially involved in promulgating the homoerotic spectacle of professional wrestling? This is the point wherein I suggest that all involved be fucked with a spoon.

  42. Limeylizzie

    Ewwww I just saw this ad on the TeeVee in NYC, really foul on a big screen and the “Hermes” on the scarf is visible.

  43. Ripley_in_CT

    I have to watch this insipid ad on the teevee every stinking day. It makes me what to push pencils into both my eyes and ears simultaneously. Oh Yeaaaahhhhhh

  44. Ripley_in_CT

    Wonkette, I have found the exact location on googlemaps where this stupid video was taken. In the beginning, you see them drive by Hazelwood Ln. This is in Stamford, at the corner of Hazelwood and Crestwood Drive. Google maps even has the white picket fence in the street view.

    Fuckin’ Stamford. I hate the other side of my state. I live nearer Rhode Island, so we don’t have the fancy scarves or the SUV with the preset AM stations. bitches.

  45. actor212

    “Ooooh yea” was the tagline of Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

    I’m surprised he hasn’t appeared in an ad for her yet.

  46. The Silver Fox

    [re=625455]actor212[/re]: “Snap into a Slim Jim, for Senate! Ooooh yeah!”

    Seriously I don’t get this ad whatsoever.

Comments are closed.