What’s a great way to relax at work after a tough morning of approving new torture techniques or Predator-drone bombings of weddings and hospitals in Lower Povertystan? If you’re one of the U.S. government employees and contractors of the Pentagon and its myriad criminal spy operations, “coffee break” means kicking back with some child pornography, that you bought using traceable methods and keep at work on the Pentagon computers. Child pornography! So now raping your own kids and selling the video isn’t just scraping the very bottom of the moral sewer, it’s also patriotic!
The Boston Globe apparently ran out of pedophile priest stories today, so some editor said, “Eh, check the next category of People Most Likely To Get Off On the Sexual Exploitation of Little Children,” and sure enough the Pentagon is full of these people.
Federal investigators have identified several dozen Pentagon officials and contractors with high-level security clearances who allegedly purchased and downloaded child pornography, including an undisclosed number who used their government computers to obtain the illegal material, according to investigative reports.
…. A large amount of pornography was found on the office computer of a program manager at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, including images that appeared to be of children. DARPA is responsible for developing some of the military’s most secret weapons and technologies. Charges were not pursued because there were no images of known victims of abuse, something that is routinely needed to bring charges, the case summary said.
It’s like there are long-term societal consequences to being a hyper-sexualized bloodthirsty nation of amoral idiots addicted to a downward spiral of Washington-sanctioned global murder, prescription drugs, triple-nitrate bacon-anus burgers and Internet porn that keeps “wearing out” because it never quite reaches the sensory horror of weeping bloodied Abu Ghraib prisoners being sodomized to death with gun barrels by U.S. Troops, for freedom. [Boston Globe/CBS News]
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It’s nothing that should surprise anyone; if you hire a bunch of sociopaths, and in fact make it a requirement for a position, they’re likely to do some monstrous things besides those which are part of the job.
One of the reasons used to discriminate against homosexuals (or to anyone who admits witnessing homosexual acts) in the granting of security clearances is the concern over homosexuals disvulging information if blackmailed by a foreign government to keep their orientation secret. So, why no witch hunt over this issue? Even if charges can’t be filed, that clearance should be long gone.
Neilist, we have another terminate with extreme prejudice job for ya.
Oh, and obtaining child porn on a government computer inside the Pentagon means you’re too fucking stupid to work at the Pentagon.
It’s like Rumsfeld never left.
“Charges were not pursued because there were no images of known victims of abuse, something that is routinely needed to bring charges, the case summary said.”
Let me get this straight. If no-one complains that the kids in the porn on my computer are being boinked, then it’s no harm, no foul? You mean, if I can just buy some babies from some meth-whores that she is just as happy to get rid of, then make those kinds of movies with ‘em, then it’s ok?
It’s pretty clear the DoD has lost its collective mind after living the culture of death so intimately for so long. Time for some house-cleaning, no?
I manage the Internet content filtering for my employer. Child porn is quite easily blocked. I’ll gladly consult the Pentagon in the area. I hear they pay subcontracters quite well.
The Pentagon is just making sure there is not a pornography gap between us and North Korea.
“It’s like there are long-term societal consequences to being a hyper-sexualized bloodthirsty nation of amoral idiots addicted to a downward spiral of Washington-sanctioned global murder, prescription drugs, triple-nitrate bacon-anus burgers and Internet porn that keeps “wearing out” because it never quite reaches the sensory horror of weeping bloodied Abu Ghraib prisoners being sodomized to death with gun barrels by U.S. Troops, for freedom.”
Ken? Are you trying to make me fall in love with you? Cause it’s working.
But, but they were just looking for WMD and happened upon a lot of pix of unclothed little kids, sexing. Not their fault. Totally understandable. Musn’t look back. Focus like a laserbeam on the future. Look at that scuzzy Ayrab guy over there!!!
People purchase pornography on the Internet? What, did they use up all the free stuff first?
[re=624685]steverino247[/re]: [re=624690]snoidoid[/re]: They weren’t criminally prosecuted, but they may have been fired. I really hope so; that is one of the few ways a gubmint employee can be quickly sent packing.
Thousand points of light, house on the hill, et cetera et cetera.
DARPA is the mother of the internet. DARPA’s real purpose is now at last revealed.
[re=624686]weejee[/re]: “Neilist, we have another terminate with extreme prejudice job for ya.”
Leave it for the original “Black Ops” secret organization.
I refer, of course, to the Society of Jesus.
They have lots and lots and lots of experience with child pornography and pedophilia.
[Hey, I was edumicated by the Dominicans. They actually RAN the Inquisition. The Jesuits just collected the firewood.]
OT, but what’s the deal w/Chuck “Prison-Pussy” Todd replacing Tweety these days? This is not equal value. And now he and Baby Russert are jizzing all over each other about how Rangel sort of half-apologized to little Russ for his meltdown yesterday. Do not likey!
Please, it wasn’t war pigs, it was darpa dweebs. IT people. And half the time what they are talking about in these cases is old pics of Traci Lords (I assume because she is in porn, its “Traci”).
[re=624722]Neilist[/re]: Domini canis, indeed. God’s dawgs.
DARPA, huh? I knew there was something weird about that John Poindexter — beyond just the arms-for-hostages and spy-on-American-citizens stuff, that is.
That’s the problem with Bush-era DARPA appointees:
A chick walks by, they wish they could sext her, but they’re postin’ porn on their Wall like they was Poindexter.
[re=624725]Prommie[/re]: My amigos who work in DoD say their IT overlords can see every page they visit, and can bring the hammer down on those who look at anything non-work related, not just illegal stuff. Which is okay by me. This is why the private sector is better, at least at my office.
Calm down. It was only lil jihadist terrorist kiddies being boinked, so it doesn’t count as real Merkin kiddie porn.
[re=624720]Aurelio[/re]: Yes… providing Pakistan and Saudi Arabia with lots of man-on-dog-on-goat action…
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/07/12/data-shows-pakistan-googling-pornographic-material/
[re=624685]steverino247[/re]: Bring on the torches! They could probably purge 75% of the GOP… I say bring it on.
[re=624729]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=624730]Extemporanus[/re]: I find your total awareness of my information rather unsettling.
[re=624701]MarieDeGournay[/re]: If the Statue of Liberty had a tramp stamp, it would be that sentence.
Why all the fuss? They were only doing research!
“Charges were not pursued because there were no images of known victims of abuse, something that is routinely needed to bring charges, the case summary said.”
Hahahahaahhahahaahaaaahhaahahhahaah you tell that to anyone who isn’t in the Military (or civilian contractor) and gets caught with that kind of stuff.
[re=624698]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: “Mr. President, we cannot allow a CP gap!”
[re=624758]lochnessmonster[/re]: “But, we were only reading it for the articles!”
[re=624722]Neilist[/re]: Explains why you think you’re an asshole, though.
So after reading this story I was weeping on my desk and sucking on a pistol dreaming that perhaps the next world would be better, or at the very least my ego would not survive my death when I hear this “whappy-whappy-whappity” sound from the window.
Fucking DoD asshole told me to go back to sucking the gun so he could finish.
That last paragraph is the best thing I’ve read on the internet in a long, long while.
Fucking kudos, Ken.
Fucking. Kudos.
“the u.s. department of defense – we’re like a living, breathing, bret easton ellis novel, but with shittier haircuts.”
[re=624771]steverino247[/re]: Oh, gesh, don’t blame the Holy Mother Church for that.
I was born an ASSHOLE. It’s sort of like Original Sin.
Or a stupid name like “Steverino.”
Whoops. You’ve got to go, Little Stevie. “Father Frank” is calling you in for another “confessional.”
You think the filters they have at work and schools and libraries are aggressive? Get inside a DoD firewall and try to do a little surfing. Nobody is at work inside the .mil footprint buying any child porn with a credit card kthxbye. You just can’t do it on an NMCI workstation.
The main reason, of course, is that the fucking Dell Corporation of Computers and EDS can’t manage to keep the fucking things running, but even when they do, the screws are super super tight. And forget about bringing your laptop from home, you cannot use a non-NMCI computer on a DoD network, even using a hotel port, even if you have a CAC card. They outlawed fucking FLASH DRIVES even. Using a flash drive in your NMCI workstation is a firing offense.
So there’s no reason to expand the investigation or look any further than you already have, guys, trouble’s over, return to your homes, nothing to see here.
[re=624723]V572625694[/re]: Fuck Toad + Baby Russert >= Tweety, surely. And “prison pussy” is offensive. I prefer “penitentiary pudenda”, thank you.
[re=624763]Maus[/re]: Isn’t some guy up on charges right now because they found a couple of thumbnails in his web cache which look like they might be underage? Seriously.
So the next generation of Homeland Security cryptologists are all a bunch of young furries?
[re=624729]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Any Navy man of his era has had a lot of opportunities to boink very young girls in the Phillipines.
[re=624690]snoidoid[/re]: The definition of kiddie porn has expanded through the years so now even a picture of two guys sharing the peen with babies’ faces pasted over their own is kiddie porn. Pictures of leotarded teens can get you convicted of KP possession if the judge thinks you’re a bad guy. A drawing of Reverend Lovejoy “sharing the Gospel” with Bart Simpson in an intimate manner would count.
Molesting children is evil, and taking or distributing pictures of it is Cheney-grade evil. But the powers that be have taken advantage of whipped-up moral hysteria to pass overreaching laws that are mostly used to abuse the Internet and all who sail on it.
I thought that was used for cryptography, because we could shut it down in an instant.
Illegal signals are very useful. Just a guess.
[re=624856]zhubajie[/re]: LBFM-PBR.
Ask Neilist, he’ll know.
[re=624813]Troubledog[/re]: Impossible to get to get your ICs naked and probed next to the morning coffee on the gate counter. Ferchrisakes http://www.eye.fi/ even…
[re=624884]Sleeves[/re]: >to get to get
That’s it vim, we’re divorced, and [re=624813]Troubledog[/re]: I think that what you describe is reasonable, granting the premises.
Have any of these investigators calculated what percentage of these kiddie-porn-loving IT guys are also Paultards? I’m guessing it’s high.
[re=624805]Neilist[/re]: Yes, you’re an asshole. And nobody calls me Stevie. That is a stupid name.
[re=624813]Troubledog[/re]: Wait, wait wait– If all that’s true, how’d they get the porn on the Official DoD computers anyway? Harry Potter magic? Just maybe those firewalls aren’t as solid as you think. Then again, I’m trying to remember that OTHER schmuck (at the. . . SEC? I think) who spent all day trying every site and google search he could think of to get past those tricky firewalls, and apparently HE couldn’t even do it.
[re=624903]Rock Ripsnort[/re]: Gahdamit, you win.
Oh, like normal old ’70s porn isn’t good enough for them, it has to be evil too. Freakin’ gummint elitists.
[re=624784]wordsmoker[/re]: (And so weirdly demoralizing I can’t complete a crackpot joke with my D.C cracked-pot gossip goggles set to maximum…no matter how hard I screw up my face!)
I remember now….
They couldn’t allow homosexuals, because the Soviets or North Koreans or Chinese could threaten to out them and use that for extortion to get juicy secrets. Background checks also go into debts, to make sure that no one working there has any, because then they could be bribed, and gambling, and alcohol.
“Gee, Mr. Wizard, I wonder if we can blackmail DARPA with the child molesting thing? I wonder if we can get our own Reaper drone with a few pictures and a threat?”
Who needs porn when we have Wonkette? I’ll take the thousand words over the picture any day!
[re=624688]Snarkalicious[/re]: As I said back in 2008, Komrade Ayatolla O’Bama should’ve completely De-Bushified the US Govt, in the same manner and for the same reasons the Allied did in post-WWII Germany…
[re=624875]Jim89048[/re]: I refuse to demean Our Nation’s Heroic Attempt To Civilize Southeast Asia by using terms such as LBMF.
Unless you have some fading Instamatic camera shots to share. From your Subic Bay Scrapbook, I mean.
(Ah, to gaze once again upon the Glories of Fabulous Olongapo, Across The Coursing Current of The The Mighty Shit “River” . . . .)
Neilist
World-Famous Author of “We Were Soldiers, Once – And A Bunch Of Libidinous, Drunken Fuck-Ups”
Soon to be a major motion picture, starting Mel Gibson
Hm. Maybe it’s the guys running the network security who are downloading the pwrn?
Yeah I frankly think these stories are full of shit. Whoever was hitting ladyboyjuice.com every 18 seconds for months was operating on assignment. Even deviant porn nerds aren’t that obsessed, let alone stupid. Believe me I know whereof I speak.
This is bullshit. I’m at a military hospital this summer, and the medical information computing system, while DoD, can’t be anywhere as secure as DARPA, * and there is most likely no way to hack into DoD systems with any real defense information through these computers (I presume, right?) — and we can’t even view facebook, webmail, hotmail, yahoo email, and a number of other sites. The DoD can and does block nonessential shit from their IT systems. It could block prUn. If military nurses can’t peruse facebook or ebay, then DoD could sure as hell block porn sites on DARPA.
* I’m beginning to wonder if the HMO Kaiser Permanente’s health information systems are more secure than the DoD.
[re=625016]Neilist[/re]: It’s “LBFM,” mofo. There was even a bar with that exact name up by Clark in Angeles City.
Ah, my unenlightened youth. I was more of a Barrio Barreto/Subic City kinda guy. The additional time and cost associated with the jeepney ride, as well as the relative scarcity of air conditioning and live bands, were more than made up for by the lower costs of bar fines, San Miguels, stick-meat, and short-times. PO2 pay went a lot farther out there; with sea pay and flight deck pay this MR2 lived like a king. Looking back, I hate that I was part of the exploitative economic situation that resulted in that adolescent-fantasy-come-to-life, but not suicidally so.
[re=624733]V572625694[/re]: The USAF firewalls here at the base I work at let me fuck off on Wonkette all day, but won’t let me go to Redstate or Rude Pundit or even Wonkabout. I’ve never been able to figure out the criteria, but I can’t imagine being able to get to any site that will sell you kiddie porn.
[re=625105]MsQuasimodo[/re]: As of a couple months ago, they started letting us access Facebook (though who would want to?) and Photobucket-type sites and play Youtube videos on the .mil computers. We’ll see how long that lasts.
[re=624914]Wisco[/re]: But all the females had pubic hair back then. Nowadays, it’s all gone. Evolution at work, I imagine.
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