Since sore-losering his 2008 Senate recount to state-drawer Al Franken, Minnesota sore-loserman Norm Coleman has been stuck raising money for some random conservative group he heads that likes to air teevee ads. But in January, Michael Steele’s term as RNC chair will be up, and Coleman thinks that maybe he will like that job instead of what he is doing now, because what he is doing now is not going to lesbian sex shows. BUT MICHAEL STEELE IS NOT GOING TO STAND ASIDE.
Or maybe he is, as there are a lot of creative new ways to screw up his job that Michael Steele will probably invent between now and January. But still:
Steele has not indicated whether he’ll seek a second term when the RNC meets in January, and his prospects could hinge on how the party performs in the midterm elections.
Even as many establishment Republicans in Washington hope he’ll go quietly, there are some on the committee who still like Steele and may support him if he were to run again.
How? How? He does his little rapper impression, and they go, “Hengh, hengh, that was very good, you seemed very threatening there for a second, Michael. This is a job well done, please don’t steal my wallet.”
And how could he possibly be given credit for the party’s success at the midterms? “Let me shake your hand, Michael. You really kept the economy bad for long enough for us to pick up all those seats.”
So what does Coleman say about this?
“My focus is on the 2010 elections,” Coleman wrote in response to questions about his interest in the RNC post. “We have a huge opportunity to stop the Democrats’ out-of-control spending and losing the opportunity would be devastating for the country.”
No, you don’t get to do that crap. You don’t have a real Senate job any more, Norm. Your focus is not on the 2010 elections, as you have pretty much have nothing to do with the 2010 elections, and you certainly aren’t running in any 2010 elections. You are not so busy with calling old wingnuts and asking them for money that you cannot think for five seconds about running for RNC chair. You are thinking about it, as you really have nothing else better to do. [Politico]
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Watch out, MC Steele, there’s four months worth of superfluous court challenges ahead should you decide not to abdicate.
When I say ‘Norm’ you say … that’s just not gonna work, nvm.
Too bad, It’s Sarah’s!!!111
Coleman is beginning to act more and more like his namesake Norm on “Cheers.” But George Wendt had much better writers and knew how to act.
So Norm Coleman is like Sarah Palin except he speaks in blandly complete sentences and has even less real influence. But hey, at least he lost a more prominent race than Michael Steele did, so he’s more than qualified to lead the GOP into their sunset years.
How did a guy with the hair of a Kiss fan get so far as a Republican?
Shit, how hard could this whole ‘RNC chair’ job be?
* Wake up.
* Drink whiskey/coffee brought to you by pimply intern.
* Go to strategy meeting about whether to call Barack Obama a “radical Marxist” or a “marxist radical” in your latests ad.
* Lunch (w/lobbyists).
* Call Teabaggers and try to talk them out of their Soc. Security checks (saying the words ‘Constitution’ and ‘ACORN’ helps).
* Dinner (w/lesbians).
* Go to sleep on pile of money.
Wow, replacing one failed candidate with another. At least Norm Coleman is authentically a RINO. This should go over wonderfully with the Teaparty, FOX, and the Satanic Cabal that actually controls the GOP.
(Fun Game for those at home: Can you spot the redundancy in the above list?)
So, when is a true nut case going to step forward? Or are they just going to keep Steele since he works as a great beard to the GOP’s racism?
It doesn’t matter what Norm does. The Lizard people will vote him out.
I really love how he’s whining about out of control spending. Apparently the definition of Gov’t Spending = out of control when Demrats do it to save what’s left of the US economize, but fiscally prudent when GOPers do it to give tax breaks to those who need it the least or start two out of control wars’n shit.
[re=624312]SmutBoffin[/re]: You seem to have an excellent understanding of the requirements of this demanding position; when can you start?
Based on that picture, the Coleman-led RNC will change its awkwardly outdated catchphrase from “What up?” to “Far out, man.”
[re=624312]SmutBoffin[/re]: Wow, that’s exactly like my day up until the “pimply intern” part, and then everything after that.
[re=624322]oh hi mark[/re]:
I wanna rock and roll all night.
And Republican Party every day.
Let’s see:
1. Red meat for conservatives – fail
2. Able to think on multiple levels – fail
3. Charismatic – fail
4. Proven fund raiser – fail
5. Knows the difference between tabling a motion and table dances – fail
Yep, Norm is the perfect choice.
[re=624307]Chickensmack[/re]: As we speak, elite cadres of KISS Army operatives are infiltrating our gov’t. The KISS Dynasty begins soon…
[re=624323]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Plus “browse Wonkette“, right?
[re=624322]oh hi mark[/re]: Maybe they could be co-chairmen. “We be trippin’, holmes!”
[re=624312]SmutBoffin[/re]: If I were the RNC chair I would insist on being provided with a pile of lesbians to sleep on.
O/T but the Kaplan Post is reporting that Daniel Schorr has died. He was truly one of the great ones in journalism, and his comments on NPR’s Weekend Edition were always insightful, incisive and interesting. Ninety-three years old and still giving people their well-deserved load of shit every week. Mr. Schorr, I will pee on Richard Nixon’s grave in your honor.
He really is related to that Sid douche on Imus. Blood tells.
Norm Coleman needs a job because he can’t always depend on others, like the banks that allowed him to refinance over and over again for larger and larger amounts on his St. Paul home. Or like his “my life is the stage” wife who comes back to town just in time for press opportunities.
If, after years of local power and kissing national GOP ass, the guy can’t make a living as a “consultant,” he’s not going to light up the party. However, you couldn’t come up with a more obvious slapdown to Steele than to replace him with one of the whitest men in politics. At least Steele is entertaining. Colman is just Eddie Haskell.
(Yes, an ancient reference from the world of b+w teevee, when dinos roamed and humans were trying to tame them…and eat them, all to the glory of God).
Yeah, he really hates out of control spending; that’s why when he was in the Senate he supported Bush’s wars and tax cuts.
[re=624312]SmutBoffin[/re]: And here’s a few perks:
*Get Rove on speed dial.
*Get to meet Trig.
*Interviews by Assity.
*The hilarious elephant Halloween costume.
*Consideration as palin’s running mate in ’12.
*Lots of Marriott cuisine.
*Free flag lapel pins. (And not those gold-fringed ones.)
*R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Norm’s going to need a lot more black face if he wants to replace Steele.
Howard Dean seemed an improbably choice for DNC chairman, and look how that turned out.
[re=624334]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Listening to ol’ Dan has been part of Saturday morning for me since he started doing that back in, what, 1987? Ever hear the one where Scott Simon described him ice-skating?
A great way to resolve this would be a steel cage death match between Norm and Michael. The GOP candidate for US Senate from Connecticut has a lot of expertise promoting these things so it should be a big money maker.
The money from PPV could be used to take Young Republican groups to lesbian themed S&M clubs and helicopter hunting expeditions.
Steele’s not gonna give up his gig. He’d be a fool to walk away from a steady paycheck in this economy. He’s basically unemployable.
Dear Republican Tea Party members:
Please do not refudiate Michael Steele. He is providing the kind of leadership wonketters and late night comedy desperately needs during these difficult times. If you vote him out, the terrorist, mexican, socialist muslins have won. And it means you hate America.
Thanks,
your friends on the internets
Oh damn. Dan was a fantastic commentator; worth listening to even if you had to wade through to Scott Simon’s faux empathy and forced, phoney humor.
[re=624346]V572625694[/re]: I have not heard that, but will scour NPR’s site to see if it’s online. Here’s an obit: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/23/AR2010072303146.html?hpid=artslot
Umm, Norm? Since I’m about the whitest white man that ever lived, this is kind of embarrassing to have to point out to you, because we all thought you already knew. Norm, you aren’t *black* enough to be the RNC chair.
(Yes, I know Michael Steele isn’t either, technically, but he’s a lot closer than you.)
Technically, Norm’s hard as Steele.
It would awesome if either a comedian and professional wrestler ran for RNC chair so Coleman could lost to one of them again.
Norm is the anti-Steele. He will live in the crawl space of some donor’s mansion eating hobo beans and cursing Jessie Ventura, and his semi-hot (ex?) wife. He will not sleep on a pile of money and will only watch faux lesbians on basic cable like real Americans do.
Coleman’s wife is the stage? I thought his wife was the sea, like the man that Brandy loved.
[re=624337]bozofish[/re]: Above s/b Reply to bozofish. There.
Norm Coleman for RNC Chairman? He doesn’t have a prayer. He lost to Al Franken. AL FRANKEN!
[re=624307]Chickensmack[/re]: A lot of today’s crop are former stoners. It’s a shame nobody’s archiving old friendster photos so we can do exposes on tomorrow’s conservative “heroes”.
Jesus fuck. What happens when this asshole is involved in every election the country? I think the rethugs finally figured out a way to kill the federal government forever if they go with this plan.
[re=624329]weejee[/re]: To be fair, that same list could be applied to Tim Kaine.
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