THE ORACLE OF TENNESSEE  5:31 pm July 22, 2010

Basil Marceaux Is Your New, Even Better Ernest J. Pagels, Jr.

by Jack Stuef

He has the TV prescence of a kindergartner swaying on the stage of his first choir concert. He has the face of American Dreams.When our friend Ernest J. Pagels, Jr., dropped out of his race for Senate earlier this week, we didn’t know if we could ever love again. But you know what? The universe works in mysterious ways. It started with a simple e-mail subject line in our tips inbox: “It’s okay to laugh at the mentally impaired if they’re running for a public office, right?” Wonketters, you have a new 2010 election boyfriend. His name is Basil Marceaux, and he’s a Republican candidate for governor of Tennessee.

You know this video is going to be good because the news anchors prefaced Basil’s words by warning that they decided to give air time to every major-party candidate in the race. And, oh boy, it is a masterpiece.

It is impossible to blog about Basil Marceaux because everything he says or writes is absolutely amazing. Just look at his website. It is indescribably perfect. What can be made fun of first? We just want to live in this man’s brain forever.

So we have to start somewhere. How about this campaign promise: “VOTE FOR ME AND IF I WIN I WILL IMMUNE YOU FROM ALL STATE CRIMES FOR THE REST OF YOU LIFE!”? That sounds good. We need to move to Tennessee and commit some state crimes.

Now do we talk about Marceaux’s Web prescence? It’s pretty impressive. He certainly has more stuff than Pagels or Alvin Greene do. Look, a YouTube channel.

That, umm—that is a YouTube video!

So, hmm, Marceaux is a former Marine! He served his country just like Pagels and Greene. We are proud of you, Basil!

Things I done for my citizens

1.Served in the U.S. Marine as a Force Recon, Bn. Recon, and a plain Marine who is maintain and recognized as once a Marine always a Marine with a Protect and Defend Oath land and sea , foreign and domestic against all enemy land and sea for life and no other services has this authority .

And like Pagels, he likes suing people:

2. Filed suit against Governor Sunquest for promoting Slavery in Tenn.

3.. Filed a suit against Soddy Daisy Judge for promoting slaving at traffic stops.

4 .Filled a suit against Chattanooga Free Press, Tennessean, all TV stations , Hamilton county attorney, D/A for extortion jury fixing,, racketeering, promoting slavery at traffic stops.

5.Filled a suit against Chattanooga Free Press, Tennessean, all TV stations , Cumberland county attorney, D/A for extortion jury fixing,, racketeering, promoting slavery at traffic stops

6.Filled a suit against Chattanooga Free Press, Tennessean, all TV stations , Bradley county attorney, D/A for extortion jury fixing,, racketeering, promoting slavery at traffic stops.

7. All cases was taken all the way to Tennessee Supreme Court all dismiss allowing counties court to overruled the U.S. Supreme Court concerning traffic stops and media protect them Let me us put me in office.

You know, nobody stands up against slavery anymore. Especially at traffic stops. Marceaux is truly an independent politician.

And look, he’s done two more things for his citizens:

8 Fix the Flag at Mill Park to fly right at a high cost of 12 stun by stun gun and now it fly right thank to 311.

9 Ran for governor for three times, state senator 4 times, U.S. Senate once.

He doesn’t say if he won any of those races, but that’s a lot of elections, so he probably won at least one of those offices, right?

Here is a platform:

WHAT IMPORTANT:
1.Education
a. School violents
b. Add reading of the minutes to the U.S.Congress mandatory
c. Get more of the lottery money to 1-12

2.Equal Health care
a. a free gift program
b. take a look at and redo all mandtory insurance programs
c. See why dental is not in most plans a tooth aches hurt more than a back aches and no teeths depresses people

3.Citzens Safety+Citizens Constitution Rights

4.Improving Our Environment

5.Budget

6.Open doors more for Tn.food manufactures

7.My plan will give the state free gas for all governmental cars and trucks

8.Make the U.S. Flag in all state buildings and court fly right. if you fly a U.S.Flag you will fly it right

Seems like a pretty good platform! And very sensical. Why didn’t we think of this stuff?

ELECT AND SUPPORT:
BASIL J MARCEAUX i FOR YOUR NEXT
TENNESSEE SENATOR # 10
or
BASIL J MARCEAUX i FOR YOUR NEXT
TENNESSEE GOVERNOR 2010

Senator #10? That is our favorite number of Senator! It seems Marceaux is running for both offices simultaneously? He must be tired, as that is a lot of campaigning. What happens when he is elected to both the governorship and the state senate, as he certainly will? Constitutional ANARCHY. It’s easier to just appoint him dictator of Tennessee now.

Aren’t super impressed yet? Marceaux is also Tennessee’s top pollster:

After calling 1000 people asking if they ever received a credit card from a company who says; here a $400. you have to pay $250. sign up fee, put we will bill you on your card and you have to pay at least$30.00 a month. This type of company prey on the poor and people they know won’t pay. If there a way to stop this practice in this great state of Tennessee it will be done. Let me tell you 175 citizens were affected.

He’s a regular George Gallup!

Can our country be a republic when the founders free usin 1776—then one the founder became a traitor to a republic and became a democrate then a democrary republic took charge of our time line then split in 1825 and 1866 the congress said we were invaded by the domiment party and today we say a pledge to a repulic , but democacy must live on and we say no oath to it.

The dictionary says in a democracy all members are democcrate—– I am a republican what does that make me ? a traitor

RIGHT. We have been saying this for years! FINALLY a politician speaks the truth.

who drop the ball The Coast Guard, the Army.Navy the marine until now, the people and this is all Thomas Jefferson fault he took us doun the wrong road while the real founders were kiled and jailed.

That is also a very enlightening point. As is the box with an “X” in it on that page.

Then there is this huge thing he has apparently sent to the United Nations and Lou Dobbs. Something happened to him at a traffic stop one time. Anyway, what’s most important is this Sharron Angle-style exhortation:

i welcome anyone who wants to be a A SUPPORTER. I need up to $90.00 @ PERSON for campaign funds to pay for spots on tv

Let’s do it, Wonketters! Your boyfriend needs help! Oh, and make sure to support his son, Basil Marceaux, Jr., in his election:

General Information: He was born in berks co. PA, on 11/05/1975 and came to Chattanooga Tn in 1981.
He now has three children and two step children, basil 3, tyler, ivey, andrew, and maggie. His hobbies include; art, reading, martial arts,and survival training. Some of his favorites are: food-steak and watermelon, color-blue, music-rocknroll. Basil Jr. is a very big animal lover (can’t even stand to see an insect hurt).

Oh, and Basil, Jr. hates traffic-stop slavery too. ELECT THESE MEN, TENNESSEE.

[via Wonkette operative "Sean M."]

 
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{ 265 comments }

taylormattd July 22, 2010 at 5:37 pm

Holy Christ. I think I could hear his labored breathing and smell his sweat right through that picture.

taylormattd July 22, 2010 at 5:40 pm

oh, and A-men, brother: “no teeths depresses people”

SayItWithWookies July 22, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Good lord — the spelling, the grammar, the imbecility — this man surely has a presence on Craigslist.

slappypaddy July 22, 2010 at 5:40 pm

judging by name, two of those children would seem to be plants. as would be pappy and grandpappy.

dr.giraud July 22, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Before anyone passes judgment on his uniform (see website), remember that William Rehnquist added stripes to his outfit, too, so he’d be sexy on TV for Clinton’s trial in the Senate. Style is important!

nappyduggs July 22, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Oh honey. Simple Fi.

just pixels July 22, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Last time I saw this guy he was wearing a bear suit. Or maybe the bear is wearing a Basil Marceaux suit now. dunno

http://wonkette.com/416773/tea-party-express-brings-celebrities-to-alaska-presser

evan7257 July 22, 2010 at 5:47 pm

HULK WANT RUN FOR GOVERNOR. WHAT IMPORTANT? SCHOOL VIOLENTS!

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 5:47 pm

*gasp*

wallythepug July 22, 2010 at 5:48 pm

He is a shoo-in for the Tea Party endorsement.

V572625694 July 22, 2010 at 5:52 pm

Either the Youtubes is broken or that video is the greatest piece of performance art since Professor Irwin Corey, the World’s Foremost Authority.

Joshua Norton July 22, 2010 at 5:53 pm

If he hasn’t peed on anything he hasn’t got a chance.

Troubledog July 22, 2010 at 5:54 pm

At least his brother Marcel knew how to keep his mouth shut.

The Little Rock July 22, 2010 at 5:54 pm

I’m embarrassed for Tennessee. But not for the lucky(?) bastard he wants to pay $42 an hour to sell beer.

ManchuCandidate July 22, 2010 at 5:55 pm

[re=623693]nappyduggs[/re]:
More like Semper Fudge.

Joshua Norton July 22, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Ah’d lahk a dozen jelly donuts and a small regular coffee with 6 sugars.

ArugulaTeleprompterz July 22, 2010 at 5:56 pm

I wish the internet was harder to use.

Terry July 22, 2010 at 5:56 pm

Does he say anywhere how slavery is being encouraged at traffic stops? Do they slap the leg irons on one person and hand to the key to the irons to another person?

Fox n Fiends July 22, 2010 at 5:57 pm

He’s a Conservative’s Conservative.

Ren McCormack July 22, 2010 at 5:57 pm

Too long stopped reading

bfstevie July 22, 2010 at 5:59 pm

Add giant Campbell Browns on both sides of those web sites and they would bear a disturbing likeness to a web site I used to visit. Did these guys used to have a ginger writer too?

NegativeZero July 22, 2010 at 5:59 pm

How soon can we get a Wonkette Exclusive interview with Mr. Marceaux?

President Inaugural Balls July 22, 2010 at 5:59 pm

So he is 35 years old (Born “on 11/05/1975″)? What if he wins and is immediately elected president right away? Is it cool if he just slides on in? IS HE OLD ENOUGH?

germansteel July 22, 2010 at 6:00 pm

That one picture of him looks like a chin, mouth, mustache, nose, two eyes and accessory eyebrows pasted onto a barrel shaped slug of human fat. Otherwise, pretty handsome for a mongoloid idiot.

just pixels July 22, 2010 at 6:00 pm

Jack, this is too easy. Can’t at least raise the bar a little. oh never mind….

But just for the record, I too am opposed to slavery at traffic stops. I daresay I am more opposed to slavery at traffic stops than Basil Marceaux, certainly more opposed than Sarah Palin who has yet to tweet on this subject. Or Boss Limbaugh — on the radio everyday, but silent on the only issue that matters.

I disagree with Mr. Marceaux on the issue of food manufactures in TN. From the looks of his waistline, this problem will solve itself as the free market supplies his growing demand.

Limeylizzie July 22, 2010 at 6:01 pm

[re=623700]Troubledog[/re]: Win

mrjayfb July 22, 2010 at 6:01 pm

Junior isn’t the only artist in the family; that is some of the finest experimental video art I have ever seen.

Aunt Fancy July 22, 2010 at 6:01 pm

“Trade school:
1. General Motor Training center Buick division in New Jersey.”

He already works for the massa NOBOMAR!!!! That’s why he keeps trying to sue his way out of slavery. It’s 2010 it is time a slave held the highest office in Tenn!!!!!

Limeylizzie July 22, 2010 at 6:04 pm

Oh , I think there is something terribly wrong with Basil, apart from the (R) after his name, my maternal thingy went off when I saw that video and I wanted to comfort him and take him to see a good neurologist or something.

FlipOffResearch July 22, 2010 at 6:04 pm

Basil looks like John Wayne Gacy, and his kid looks like Jeff Foxworthy. It’s a shame real Americans can’t get elected in this day and age.

just pixels July 22, 2010 at 6:05 pm

“Education ,let us put phonics back in school if you can not read you can not do History, Math, English”

How can you argue with that?

oh hi mark July 22, 2010 at 6:07 pm

To continue the alt text, he has the name of a sinister aristocrat. He has the body of a tea bagger. He has the litigation history and writing skills of an average American. And he has the spelling inconsistencies and fixation on slavery of an 18th century author. Clearly, this man offers something for everyone.

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Someday schoolchildren will learn how history changed forever at a traffic stop six year ago.

MarieDeGournay July 22, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Slug monster at 12 o’clock! Fire the torpedoes!

swarm of bees July 22, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Ye gods man! The missing link is running for office!

My grandpa lives in Tennessee. I’ll have to send him a link to Basil’s “literature” to convince him who to vote for…senator? governor? WHO CARES?? GIVE THIS MAN A JOB!

Limeylizzie July 22, 2010 at 6:09 pm

For God’ Sake go to Page 4 at your own peril and find gems like this …

In our motion pictures movies like the Roman Empire was a democracy and they killed anyone who does not believe the same. Julius Caesar friends came here in 1791 and teamed up with Thomas Jefferson one of our for-fathers to a republic isn’t that a traitor?

Dashboard_Buddha July 22, 2010 at 6:10 pm

I can’t laugh at this…I just can’t.

ArugulaTeleprompterz July 22, 2010 at 6:11 pm

“I find it hard to take a campaign fund from anyone because if they give me money they expect something and then they seal it with a hand shack . I think this is bribery
so to keep everybody honest lets put all funds in one bucket, then divide the bucket by cities, counties and state ,then divide those buckets among who ever once want to run and
nobody owes anybody.”

SOCIALIST!!!

Suds McKenzie July 22, 2010 at 6:13 pm

I want to eat Quaker Oats after that.

Crazy Like Fox July 22, 2010 at 6:15 pm

“Food-steak.”

Rotundo July 22, 2010 at 6:15 pm

In the picture he looks like he is just about to belch. Probably shouldn’t have had that co cola just before in the green room. “Hi, Mah name is Basil BAWAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP! Marceaux and ah want to be yore next senatuh.”

weejee July 22, 2010 at 6:16 pm

Jack, now you’ve done fella. That distant sucking sound we all heard was Jeebus’ head as it asploded.

Mull_Man July 22, 2010 at 6:16 pm

[re=623708]Ren McCormack[/re]: appearances suggest the newbies are paid by the word.

awesome dude July 22, 2010 at 6:19 pm

It’s time we elect someone who speaks fluent LOLcat as Tennessee’s Chief Tennesseean.

WhatTheHeck July 22, 2010 at 6:21 pm

This is too awesome.
Jack, you are making this shit up, aren’t you?
Next, you will be telling me he’s going to be Sarah Palin’s running mate.

BlueStateLiberal July 22, 2010 at 6:22 pm

What do Republicans have against the English language that they have to constantly mangle it? Are they all actually lizard people from another planet and English is their second language?

Yes, Nick-name July 22, 2010 at 6:28 pm

Living proof that war is not the hygiene of the state.

El Pinche July 22, 2010 at 6:30 pm

I thought John Wayne Gacy was executed ? Whatever. GO brother GO!

AnglRdr July 22, 2010 at 6:33 pm

Wanna know the sad thing?

He’s not the worst of the candidates.

Barrelhse July 22, 2010 at 6:39 pm

You Libs will make fun of anything, won’t you? Is NOTHING sacred, safe from your Dirty Dozens?

slappypaddy July 22, 2010 at 6:41 pm

[re=623754]Barrelhse[/re]: yes. no.

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 6:41 pm

[re=623729]Limeylizzie[/re]: What a doofus. Everyone knows it was Orange Julius that came to this country in 1791.

Dr.Zoidberg July 22, 2010 at 6:43 pm

People Called to stop Slavery at traffic stop they
all say county court can not
overrule supreme court ,but
no-one will help while 1.8
billion is stole by false arrest
-Basil Marceaux

God bless America.

Johnny Zhivago July 22, 2010 at 6:44 pm

Is he a cat person or a dog person?

Snarkalicious July 22, 2010 at 6:48 pm

1 professional editor away from The White House.

[re=623702]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I don’t know if you can see this from where you’re sitting, but I’m totally humping your leg right now.

Way Cool Larry July 22, 2010 at 6:49 pm

Holy crap, this guy must be brain-damaged…. that video is just fucking amazing. I don’t know how anyone could even TRY to make something so lame and genius at the same time.

And “AMERICA PLEASE LISTEN” FREDOM!!!!!!!

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 6:49 pm

Oh, this is too rich. Over on Basil’s YouTube channel, someone posted:

“Thank you for giving my people a voice”

Joshua Norton July 22, 2010 at 6:50 pm

[re=623760]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Either one, since they both taste the same if you pour on a lot of gravy.

Einstein' July 22, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Give Basil a break. He’s not used to speechifying so much. He meant that the schools need violins. He’s a typical elitist just like you and I.

Troubledog July 22, 2010 at 6:50 pm

[re=623731]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: Touche! and a /highfive as well

I_Like_Tigers July 22, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Who is their web designer? I was looking for someone that could make me some poorly formatted scrawling text that expands beyond any reasonable resolution.

rottenart July 22, 2010 at 6:51 pm

I think he makes a lot of sense.

Blogette July 22, 2010 at 6:56 pm

So it’s true. Anyone done can growed up to be Presnident.

Blogette July 22, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Sarah Palin will endorse this Real American from her Facebook any minute now.

Neilist July 22, 2010 at 6:59 pm

I’m suspicious. Nothing about his gun collection, NRA membership, or the Second Amendment?

[Takes one to know one.]

MLM July 22, 2010 at 7:04 pm

“2.Equal Health care
a. a free gift program”

First of all, Equal Health care = SOCIALIST.

Second, I like free gifts… in principle… but what kind of free gift are we talking about here? {shifty eyes}

Limeylizzie July 22, 2010 at 7:04 pm

[re=623756]user-of-owls[/re]: I have no idea what or who an Orange Julius is, but because this comment came from you I will laugh anyway because it is probably very funny/caustic/clever/shameful.

rocktonsammy July 22, 2010 at 7:07 pm

BEST PORN NAME evah.

Butterscotch Stalin July 22, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Wow, I didn’t know there was a sedevacantist conspiracy involving Thomas Jefferson! But then he always did seem too noble and accomplished for one man.

mustardman July 22, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Jesus titty fucking christ!

southern mark smith July 22, 2010 at 7:09 pm

[re=623778]Neilist[/re]: Oh, he’s got some ideas about that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zCY99-Y540

…every one carry guns. if you kill someone (mumble mumble) you get murdered or (inaudible) go to jail.

Extemporanus July 22, 2010 at 7:10 pm

[re=623700]Troubledog[/re]: *tape du golf*

x111e7thst July 22, 2010 at 7:10 pm

[re=623719]Limeylizzie[/re]:You want to comfort him and get him medical assistance? For realz?
I would prefer to beat him like a redheaded stepchild and then abandon him under a freeway overpass in a rundown industrial area.

Sharkey July 22, 2010 at 7:13 pm

Fortunately, they saved the video from the traffic stop slavery.

ellemme July 22, 2010 at 7:14 pm

Looks a little like Ron Swanson.

DoktorZoom July 22, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Basil? The guy is a plant.

trondant July 22, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Oh, school violins? Never mind.

slappypaddy July 22, 2010 at 7:23 pm

[re=623781]Limeylizzie[/re]: you don’t know the great orange julius? constant companion to hot-dog-on-a-stick? their adventures in “the mauling of america” are a classic!

bakeneko July 22, 2010 at 7:28 pm

Orange Julius Claw Hammer.

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 7:28 pm

[re=623781]Limeylizzie[/re]: Would I let you down?

http://www.yummylocal.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Orange-Julius-Stand.jpg

Er, I mean did I let you down? I’m sure there is some wincingly filthy definition of the phrase somewhere in the Urban Dictionary, but this is the one I meant.

BklynIlluminati July 22, 2010 at 7:31 pm

I friggin knew I was getting my ass enslaved at traffic lights!! Everbody kept telling me keep my crazy under wrap but I knew I friggin knew! It’s the damned red lights! Always the red darkie lights swinging it’s whip of stop no go business at me! Thank god fudgie the whale will get me my freedoms

DoktorZoom July 22, 2010 at 7:32 pm

I have real qualms about making fun of someone who is so obviously mentally ill. On the other hand, his website really is funny. In a better world, I could laugh at him and THEN be reassured that the national health service would get him the help he needs.

doctor_fu July 22, 2010 at 7:32 pm

Dr.Zoidberg: Great, just what we need, another fucking buddhist. Better tell Greene he’s got some serious competition.

DC Hates Me July 22, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Basil’s brain is like RedState meets “Will It Blend?”

Sharkey July 22, 2010 at 7:35 pm

I wonder what he had for breakfast today?

Jim89048 July 22, 2010 at 7:36 pm

Kenny Guinn, quite possibly the last sane Republican governor of or in US America, died today.
Always trust your cape, in the words of Guy Clark.

Gorillionaire July 22, 2010 at 7:36 pm

I for one have always found the name Maggie to be completely adorable. Where I can vote for this man?

Limeylizzie July 22, 2010 at 7:36 pm

[re=623806]user-of-owls[/re]: You have never let me down ,user-of-owls, and that edifice looks more disgusting than any entry found on Urban Dictionary…where I am going right now, of course.

SpikeyDog July 22, 2010 at 7:37 pm

I think he’s the real brains behind Michele Bachamann.

Neilist July 22, 2010 at 7:37 pm

[re=623786]southern mark smith[/re]: Sorry. I didn’t listen to the video. But we all talk like that.

Anna Kavan July 22, 2010 at 7:40 pm

That youtube video is unfeignable brilliance. Listen, indeed. Meanwhile, a little delving reveals the Marceaux Concept in 2-dimensional visual form:

http://politics.freesitenow.com/basilmarceauxforgovernor/images/lion%20+%20elphant_1.jpg

You’re welcome, and pleasant dreams.

zhubajie July 22, 2010 at 7:43 pm

State crimes: like snake handling? Raising pot on a commercial scale?

doctor_fu July 22, 2010 at 7:45 pm

A choice quote on history that was somehow overlooked:

“Do you know where democracy came from, Greece a democracy went to troy with a horse filled with democrats and party with the Troyians during the day and at nite they climbed out of the butt hole and killed everybody and at the same time burned. it to the ground. Then sent Julius creaser to Rome another republic and invaded them force them in democracy.”

That’s the problem with the democrats, right there. Always climbing out the butt hole.

JohnnyMeatworth July 22, 2010 at 7:47 pm

Fuck it, I finally have a name to write in for president in 2012 besides Adam West….

CessnaDriver July 22, 2010 at 7:50 pm

I not only want to send him money, I want to go to TN and produce his TV spots for him.

Veritas78 July 22, 2010 at 7:52 pm

This iz wut the 21st Amendment done brung us. I hope yer happy.

El Pinche July 22, 2010 at 7:52 pm

Clearly, this is Skoalrebel’s breeder.

dex July 22, 2010 at 7:53 pm

unlike the other people running for governor in tennessee, i feel as though i could enjoy a cold beer on a hot day with this candidate.

Enslave the Whales July 22, 2010 at 7:53 pm

Mmm, I’m thinking this might be excessively low-hanging Basil. Our currently-dormant BFF Mr. Pagels, and the Pan-Alabama Array of Loonie Candidates, all displayed at least a marginal connection to consensus reality, and therefore deserved all the wonketting that was unfit to print.

I’m not so sure about this fellow. There really isn’t much merit in snarking at someone who is actually deranged.

Still…. Basil? In Tennessee?

southern mark smith July 22, 2010 at 7:54 pm

[re=623818]Neilist[/re]: You all talk like Slingblade?

ShiftyParadigm July 22, 2010 at 7:56 pm

His website is “Powered by Visual WebTools™ Technology” Please, God, let that not be in my retirement portfolio.

Dadaio July 22, 2010 at 8:00 pm

Just because the words are malformed doesn’t mean they make any less sense coming out of his mouth than John Kyl’s.

Flea July 22, 2010 at 8:12 pm

I actually met Basil on the streets of Chattanooga, on my way to lunch. He asked for my vote and explained all about illegal judges.

Sigh.

Bless his heart.

facehead July 22, 2010 at 8:18 pm

You had me at ‘mentally impaired,’ but anything written with that many words has to be glorious.

thehelveticascenario July 22, 2010 at 8:24 pm

This guy talks about altered timelines a lot. I kind of get the idea that he’s like Bruce Willis’s character in Twelve Monkeys. Time travel screws with your head!

facehead July 22, 2010 at 8:32 pm

After perusing his website, I had a recurring thought:

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!

Justin Time July 22, 2010 at 8:35 pm

Christ on a pogo stick – Basil is 34 years old? He must live next-door to one of the many nuclear facilities in TN. He appears to be pushing 65. As to traffic signal slavery, he is absolutely correct! Most intersections in this country are monitored by a signal box situated on one of the corners of the intersection. Wires buried in the pavement “read” how many cars are waiting on the red light, and the signal box causes the light to turn green when enough cars pass over the line about 30′ behind the stop line. IF the car in front of each lane does not pull all the way up to the stop line and no farther OR some nimrod second or third in line leaves a big gap between his car and the next car, it unnecessarily delays the light from changing to green. This is traffic stop slavery – one’s progress through an intersection is enslaved with the behavior of every other driver waiting for the light. The goober is an idiot savant!

O_o July 22, 2010 at 8:38 pm

“I’m Basil Marceaux dot com, your Republican candidate for governor.”

Christ on a urinal cake, you just can’t make that shit up!

Monsieur Grumpe July 22, 2010 at 8:40 pm

I’m guessing his transportation is a bike with three wheels. He might just get the green vote.

the problem child July 22, 2010 at 8:40 pm

The last of tlaws, the Sedition Act, passed on July 14 declared that any treasonable activity, including the publication of
These sections of the page are good for just about anything – Text, graphics, whatever you want!
These sections of the page are good for just about anything – Text, graphics, whatever you want!

Finally, coherence worth repeating.

Our Hobo Senator July 22, 2010 at 8:42 pm

Marceaux/Skoalrebel 2012!

the problem child July 22, 2010 at 8:43 pm

If he is 35, how does he have a 24 year-old son? Is he married to his former gym teacher? And if so, why does she have no influence over him?

ph7 July 22, 2010 at 8:43 pm

“Make sure that if national insurance is put in place, I will make sure the roots of such bill with not inclued any type measuring of the waist like other counties.”

Tyranny starts with a tape measure.

JoeCool BigPecker July 22, 2010 at 8:46 pm

So maybe he will get to win a state senate race now.

Katydid July 22, 2010 at 8:46 pm

From one of his lawsuits:

I worry about the women in Franklin Tennessee, 51 deaths in my town at road stops , then I have all the other millions of them!

Well. Why hasn’t My Wonkette covered the deaths of millions of Tennessee women?

dijetlo July 22, 2010 at 8:49 pm

I, for one, welcome our liberator from the traffic stop overlords….

bago July 22, 2010 at 8:54 pm

Name: Basil marceaux Sr.
Place of Resident: 810 Hyatte Rd Soddy Daisy,Tn
Married with two boys one 24 the other 22
Place of Birth: Strousburg,Pa.
Date of Birth: May 26,1952
Owner of A granny sayer’s G.N.B.Co.
Education: 13 3/4 years
Service: U.S.Marine-Force Recon 71-73 L/Cpl
Trade school:
1. General Motor Training center Buick division in New Jersey.
A.Study management,Marketing complate training in auto repair’
2. Tne National Institute for Automotive , Excellence program.

Way Cool Larry July 22, 2010 at 9:05 pm

[re=623810]DC Hates Me[/re]: awesome

sharkchum July 22, 2010 at 9:16 pm

Wow! I live in TN and was gonna vote for the Democrat for Governor but after seeing this guy on TV and reading this, my mind has been changed! I’ve always been concerned about the traffic stop slavery we have in Tennessee

facehead July 22, 2010 at 9:23 pm

This page explains the (obvious) connection between traffic stops and slavery:

http://politics.freesitenow.com/basilmarceauxforgovernor/page4.html

The situation is so desperate our future governor wrote a letter to the U.N. for help in this matter.

Monsieur Grumpe July 22, 2010 at 9:23 pm

Ronald Reagan would be proud.

iburl July 22, 2010 at 9:30 pm

“no teeths depresses people”

Yup, annits hard to 311 a flag or stop extortion jury fixing,, when they dun hurt like that.

Damn that traitor democra Jefferson for slavin, jailng and killin the foundling fodders.

Geogre July 22, 2010 at 9:36 pm

The real founding fathers was kilt or in prisond and Tomas Jefersin take us doun the wrong road. That how come they were our founding fathers because they was kilt inprisoned but you dont know that if u been branewashed by those poeple who dont reed the reel constution.

iburl July 22, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Well, the 17 mentions of “negro” (as in “worthless negro race”) pretty much made the fun machine take a shit and die for me on this page:

http://politics.freesitenow.com/basilmarceauxforgovernor/page4.html

But, as the saying goes, even a retarded racist clock is right twice a day (“no teeths depresses people” and “I am a republican what does that make me ? a traitor”)

Extemporanus July 22, 2010 at 9:54 pm

[re=623854]Katydid[/re]: [re=623855]dijetlo[/re]: [re=623864]facehead[/re]: Basil Marceaux is the Harriet Tubman of homicidal runaway traffic slaves, and this evil campaign is his “Underground Crosswalk”.

How many more pedestrian women have to die before this dangerous reverse-motorist is stopped? HOW MANY MORE?!

Neilist July 22, 2010 at 9:54 pm

[re=623829]southern mark smith[/re]: “You all talk like Slingblade?”

Only when sober. When blind drunk, we annunciate like Sir Larry Olivier.

It’s one of those “Drunk Walking A Straight Line In An Earthquake” thingys.

Flanders July 22, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Someone who makes Skoalrebel look like a fuckin’ genius!

Enslave the Whales July 22, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Jack — my last remark on Basil. This is beneath you. This is beneath femto-scale mitochondrial-DNA-twiddling.

There are so many subjects that deserve your attention.

Still, your piece on Ms. Shirley will command my awe for many newscycles.

Flanders July 22, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Srsly, this is depressing and sad. Maybe I’ve been away from wonkett for too long (ever since April, when I found out that surfing wonkett at work is considered to be a firing offense, due to “objectionable and offensive content”)…

RoscoePColtraine July 22, 2010 at 10:02 pm

Well he’s right on point regarding flying the USMC flag. I’d fly a marine’s flag every night if given the chance. HEY-O!

foulmouthed mrscreant July 22, 2010 at 10:10 pm

[re=623693]nappyduggs[/re]: Shit, I just started reading the comments and I already want to say this is the funniest!

slowhansolo July 22, 2010 at 10:11 pm

“7. All cases was taken all the way to Tennessee Supreme Court all dismiss allowing counties court to overruled the U.S. Supreme Court concerning traffic stops and media protect them Let me us put me in office.”

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Words fail.

obfuscator July 22, 2010 at 10:12 pm

holy fucking shit, the fact that this is a real actual thing terrifies me.

i dont trust the new guy July 22, 2010 at 10:13 pm

wow, this really isn’t funny. this is just meanspirited and cruel.

sezme July 22, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Jack Stuef™ Interview, or he doesn’t exist.

Dean Booth July 22, 2010 at 10:14 pm

He looks like Aldo Kelrast.

grevillea July 22, 2010 at 10:19 pm

[re=623877]Neilist[/re]: When did Olivier play the Archangel Gabriel? I must have missed it.

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 10:19 pm

[re=623886]i dont trust the new guy[/re]: Are you saying we should leaf Basil alone?

Sharkey July 22, 2010 at 10:19 pm

To all saying this is beneath Jack / Wonkette:

It is reality. This is political reality in the UNITED STATES in the present day, the fucking 21st century.

A man with Down’s syndrome is among the top five Republican gubernatorial candidates in the primaries in Tennessee.

What I can’t figure out is how he got into the Marines. Maybe he “caught the Down’s” while he was enlisted. Perhaps he simply imagines very strongly that he was in the Marines.

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 10:21 pm

[re=623888]Dean Booth[/re]: Before or after?

staunchy July 22, 2010 at 10:21 pm

man, I just got slammed on Kos for saying this guy was mentally challenged. Really? Also…..give it a few months and there’s a Law & Order SVY based on him. truth.

Come here a minute July 22, 2010 at 10:21 pm

[re=623886]i dont trust the new guy[/re]: But such big portions!

southern mark smith July 22, 2010 at 10:23 pm

[re=623877]Neilist[/re]: We have all, at one time or another, been performers, and many of us still are — politicians, playboys, cardinals and kings –Sir Larry

And when you say “we”, do you mean Californian/lawyer/ex-GI/gun-nut/Wonketteers? Tennessee NRA member/red-light-running/candidates-for-political-office? Center-justifying/Alex-Jonesish/Jefferson-hating governor-senators?

But I like you when you’re sober.

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 10:28 pm

We should just let ol’ Basil shuffle on back to being a soapmaker and Dr. Bonner’s successor as the beacon of the “All-One-God-Faith.”

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cf/Dr._Bronner%27s_Magic_Soap.jpg

i dont trust the new guy July 22, 2010 at 10:31 pm

[re=623890]user-of-owls[/re]: I guess I’m just saying that calling attention to and ridiculing a guy with obvious mental problems by using the same level of biting sarcasm you would reserve for newt gingrich or andrew brietbart is a level of snark I haven’t quite gotten to yet. it just feels mean, i’m sorry. but hey, all comedy is personal, and it is entirely possible i am being too thin skinned about this stuff, wouldn’t be the first time. and for the record i agree with [re=623880]Enslave the Whales[/re]: that piece Jack did on Ms. Sherrod was awesome and won many internets.

DangerousLiberal July 22, 2010 at 10:32 pm

It’s been years since I’ve seen this level of both English illiteracy and HTML stupidity. But hey, he’s making some coin from those Google ads, which much get hella clickthrus.

bhosp July 22, 2010 at 10:35 pm

It makes it hard to know how to classify your Sharon Angles and your Sarah Palins when you have actual retards running for office.

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 10:37 pm

[re=623899]i dont trust the new guy[/re]: Um, yeah, you might want to go back and read what I said…very carefully…and get back to me.

AKAM80TheWolf July 22, 2010 at 10:37 pm

[re=623821]doctor_fu[/re]: “Julius creaser”

Yes, Julius creaser, adoptive father of the emperor Aucrustus.

imissopus July 22, 2010 at 10:37 pm

[re=623899]i dont trust the new guy[/re]: Oh come on. Newt Gingrich and Andrew Breitbart have MASSIVE mental problems as well.

AKAM80TheWolf July 22, 2010 at 10:38 pm

This looks like a skit straight out of Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show (Great Job Basil!)

bhosp July 22, 2010 at 10:38 pm

[re=623899]i dont trust the new guy[/re]: That’s what I’m saying; Sharon Angle has obvious mental problems, but she’s clearly qualitatively different from Basil here. I just don’t know where the lines are anymore. There used to be a line between “stupid” and “retard” but the 2010/2012 election cycles are blurring it to the point of erasure.

imissopus July 22, 2010 at 10:43 pm

You know, snarking on this guy is actually a bit of a relief after the week we’ve had. No way Basil can do any damage. But someone like Breitbart, or Palin, or Newt…those people do enormous damage to our politics. So it’s nice that for one minute the laughter is genuine and not just a way to mask the terror.

i dont trust the new guy July 22, 2010 at 10:44 pm

[re=623902]user-of-owls[/re]: Oh I got the pun. It was tasty, like the leaf you were referring to.

mumblyjoe July 22, 2010 at 10:47 pm

[re=623875]iburl[/re]: The rambling about the date Tennessee ratified 14th Amendment (though he gets the date wrong by three days), plus weird incoherent stuff about jurisdiction and civil law and military something, it’s not quite clear. But I’m suddenly pretty sure that he’s also attempting to articulate something about that really shitty Sovereign Citizenship conspiracy theory.

So, assuming that, the racism is kinda implied, being as the whole bizarre conspiracy theory hinges on the belief that the 14th Amendment was ratified to take away rights from white people, rather than grant them to everyone else, also, and that white people (but only white people, because everyone else is only a “14th Amendment Citizen”) can file some fakey tax protest paperwork and make themselves “Soverign Citizens” and immune to all federal laws, and, depending on the version of this story, most other laws also. And also depending on the version of the story, make money appear out of thin air, also (money that the government stole from you/borrowed using you as collateral, you white slave, you).

So, yeah, you can see where roughly half the assumptions there are rooted in some pretty insane racism. And the fact that this conspiracy theory is popular amongst militias and teabaggers is complete coincidence, because we all no there is no such thing as a racist teabagger. They simply do not exist.

mumblyjoe July 22, 2010 at 10:48 pm

I do agree this is kind of mean, btw. But insofar as his rambling is coming from someplace, it’s probably worth noting where it’s coming from.

Sharkey July 22, 2010 at 10:49 pm

[re=623908]imissopus[/re]: I regret to inform you that there is an underlying theme and principle. The fact that this person actually becomes a part of discourse reminds me of a certain… child… of Palin’s.

Oldskool July 22, 2010 at 10:49 pm

The video really isn’t complete without the anchors trying not to laugh. They probably weren’t even allowed to see it.

dijetlo July 22, 2010 at 10:53 pm

[re=623876]Extemporanus[/re]: Granted, I’m a little put off by his repeated references to “idle Negroes” though in all fairness, since he is obviously a lizard person wearing the skin of Basil Marceaux (unfortunately for our reptilian overlords, the eyes are a dead give away) he is likely referring to political pundits or some other class of incorrigible scofflaw masquerading as a productive member of society.
Still and all, he’s perfect for TN and will have my vote come November, assuming the bench warrants currently outstanding under my name are rescinded and I can enter the state without fear of immediate incarceration. Otherwise, I’m voting in Delaware for the local reptilian representative and we will hear no more of this foolishness.
Good day to you sir!

slowhansolo July 22, 2010 at 10:53 pm

[re=623908]imissopus[/re]: That is truth. I’m a lot less bothered by an outlandish state-level candidate than I am about yet another capitulation on climate change.

staunchy July 22, 2010 at 10:54 pm

[re=623893]staunchy[/re]: SVU, rather. More cocktails plz.

sezme July 22, 2010 at 10:54 pm

[re=623886]i dont trust the new guy[/re]: You are referring, of course, to Jody Hice.

i dont trust the new guy July 22, 2010 at 10:57 pm

[re=623908]imissopus[/re]: Yeah you know that is a good point, there’s been a lot of gallows humor coming out of this week, so something so incredibly and ridiculously ridiculous (that’s right) and in the end harmless does feel kind of better. And from what [re=623911]mumblyjoe[/re]: says, a lot of basil’s stuff seems to be rooted in some atrocious racism, and that always needs to get taken down a peg. And lastly you are right, I retract my previous examples of mentally fit people.

Spurious Pestorker July 22, 2010 at 10:58 pm

Dale Gribble has really lost it.

Blender July 22, 2010 at 11:02 pm

[re=623906]bhosp[/re]: win.

botpol July 22, 2010 at 11:10 pm

I feel badly for him. He might be on the wrong side of the ideological divide, but he really does seem to want to serve his country for the better, despite his setbacks. I mean, he should not be in politics, but it’s hard for me to scorn his motivation, even though his ideas are very confused. Still, I like him more the Boehner any day.

botpol July 22, 2010 at 11:10 pm

*than

facehead July 22, 2010 at 11:12 pm

Basil Marceaux is clearly the world’s first POSTMODERN candidate for anything. He doesn’t give a barking turd about your hegomonic ‘language’ and ‘grammar.’ He speaks with his heart and soul and fingers the way a true American patriot (avec internet) would, if that patriot were lucky enough to be BASIL MARCEAUX.

So attack him (or Monsieur Steuf) all you like with your petty modern concepts like ‘intelligence,’ ‘sanity,’ or ‘decency.’ BASIL MARCEAUX is more American than Betsy Ross drooling on a flagpole.

And what [re=623876]Extemporanus[/re] said too!

mumblyjoe July 22, 2010 at 11:14 pm

[re=623927]botpol[/re]: It’s not hard to like someone better than Boehner. I mean, look at me: I’m every bit as much the contemptible drunk that he is, but at least my tan is natural.

kudzu July 22, 2010 at 11:19 pm

Does he write in the language the natives speak down there in Tennessee? It’s lovely!

Prairie Flower July 22, 2010 at 11:20 pm

[re=623856]bago[/re]: Most frightening aspect to me is that he’s produced progeny.

kudzu July 22, 2010 at 11:23 pm

Oh joy! His son is running for office too: http://politics.freesitenow.com/basilmarceauxjr/

Escape Goat Nation July 22, 2010 at 11:31 pm

He’s a breath of fresh air.

user-of-owls July 22, 2010 at 11:41 pm

[re=623930]mumblyjoe[/re]: A traffic cone’s tan is more natural than Boehner’s.

Johnny Zhivago July 22, 2010 at 11:53 pm

[re=623927]botpol[/re]: I mean although the stuff on the website is funny, I agree it’s pretty sad. Only in the USA does someone who needs mental health services end up not only running around crazy, but running for political office.

Jukesgrrl July 22, 2010 at 11:56 pm

[re=623833]Dadaio[/re]: “Just because the words are malformed doesn’t mean they make any less sense coming out of his mouth than John Kyl’s.” Truer words were never typed.

Much of Basil’s syntax (e.g. “we were invaded by the domiment party and today we say a pledge to a repulic , but democacy must live on and we say no oath to it”) isn’t too far removed from the average transcript of a Palin stump speech.

Finally, I know it’s a minor thing in this waterfall of contradiction, but Basil 2 loves all animals and “can’t even stand to see an insect hurt” … yet his favorite “food-steak”? He doesn’t know it used to be an animal?

WriteyWriterton July 23, 2010 at 12:02 am

Stuef’s found Michael Steele’s successor.

AddHomonym July 23, 2010 at 12:04 am

[re=623949]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Yes, today we they are all Floyd R. Turbo. Only it was a joke, back in the day, as they say. But now, it’s for realz.

user-of-owls July 23, 2010 at 12:11 am

[re=623875]iburl[/re]: [re=623919]dijetlo[/re]: I wondered what the heck you guys and others claiming Basil’s some sort of Idiot King of the Racists were seeing in his site.

All those bits about ‘idle’ or ‘worthless’ Negroes are not Basil’s, they are from an oddly (ya, I know) embedded column along the left of the page which is actually a cut and past of some legislative debate leading up to the Civil War. I mean, c’mon, you didn’t actually read that and believe it could have been HIM writing the prose? Damn, that’s like listening to anything Breitbart says and believing it’s not a venemous lie.

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 23, 2010 at 12:11 am

He was born in 1975? Looking very spry for a 35 year old!

mumblyjoe July 23, 2010 at 12:16 am

Incidentally, while we’re placing “spot the conspiracy theory Basil’s referencing now”, I think I figured out what he’s referring to when he talks about the “Marine’s 3-color flag” whatnot. Whee!

Extemporanus July 23, 2010 at 12:19 am

[re=623919]dijetlo[/re]: In fairness, traffic stop slaves are literally “idle Negroes”.

[re=623929]facehead[/re]: Betsy Ross gave her life servicing a traffic stop slave named “Liberty”.

mumblyjoe July 23, 2010 at 12:25 am

[re=623952]user-of-owls[/re]: I’m still going with notion some of that stuff suggests he’s a Sovereign Citizen Gold-Fringer, and let’s face it, probably a Birther, also, along with a Truther, Floride-er, and who knows what else. Let’s just assume an everything-er, to save time.

thehelveticascenario July 23, 2010 at 12:29 am

[re=623924]Spurious Pestorker[/re]: I think I figured it out: this guy is Dale Gribble plus Boomhauer.

user-of-owls July 23, 2010 at 12:35 am

[re=623949]Jukesgrrl[/re]: If you set Dad’s site on the shelf for a moment and look at Junior’s (thanks kuzdu!) instead, you will find syntax, grammar and even spelling that’s probably above national averages. You will also find some fairly compassionate and articulated policy positions, like working on how the working poor can afford car insurance.

His compassion does not extend, however, to ‘emergency room junkies’ who fake their sickness to get their ‘high.’ Hmm, that gives me an idea…

mumblyjoe July 23, 2010 at 12:36 am

[re=623956]mumblyjoe[/re]: Also, a Buildabear-er.

(that twatter also isn’t mind, a friend of mine found that from Google. Point being, they’re sinister, and the rule the world, and make bears)

user-of-owls July 23, 2010 at 12:42 am

[re=623956]mumblyjoe[/re]: Wow, that ‘er’ thing would make a lot of sense since he’s both Republican and a Southerner. For as we all learned from the wise Sen. Voinovich long ago, the mating call of such types is ‘errrr, errrrr.’

http://wonkette.com/410144/sen-voinovich-reveals-terrible-mating-call-of-southern-republicans

user-of-owls July 23, 2010 at 12:46 am

[re=623955]Extemporanus[/re]: And African-American winners of that competition show with Simon Crowell are literally Negro Idols.

Radiotherapy July 23, 2010 at 1:20 am

[re=623963]user-of-owls[/re]: OK, the guy is definitely an idiot. And I’m sure the orange julius didn’t fall far from the tree. But, what’s the difference between them and our favorite hookworm infested grifter? I feel a little sorry for this guy — not unlike seeing a retard while walking down the beach. But, if the fuck wants to run for public office, he is subject to ridicule and unrelenting Wonkateering.
Oddly, Basil and Junior do have a couple valid points — however misguided:
1. There IS traffic slavery, but the massas are the insurance companies. Just recently, my auto insurance actuary-Nazis terminated my policy because my wife backed into a rock and I got two speeding tickets — 2-3 years ago! Fucking pricks. After 20 years of paying reparations.
2. There IS ER abuse.

SmutBoffin July 23, 2010 at 1:23 am

He looks kinda…Doohanesque.

gurukalehuru July 23, 2010 at 1:30 am

I strongly agree with 2c. A toothache hurts like a motherfucker.

dijetlo July 23, 2010 at 1:31 am

[re=623963]user-of-owls[/re]:
You are claiming he’s not an unrepentant racist?
Next you’ll be doubting his proud Reptile heritage.
You sir, are a double reverse stealth racist bent on derailing the political juggernaut that is this unnamed lizard person wearing Basil Marceauxs well flensed hide.
It has a dream, more of a nightmare really, but it obviously wants something and I say, give it what it wants. After all, look at what it did to poor Basil and he was apparently some kind of cross between Rambo and Batman! What chance would a Wonkette commenter have (with the possible exception of Neilist).
Think of Mrs Owl and all the lil hooters!!!!

Native of SL UT July 23, 2010 at 1:31 am

I’ve often wondered what Andy Kaufman would be doing today had he lived.

Now I know.

Joey Ratz July 23, 2010 at 2:04 am

[re=623713]germansteel[/re]: He’s Mr. Potato Head. Or maybe Wilford Brimley. It’s hard to tell in this light.

How does the traffic stop slavery work? Do offenders get sent to the hand shack? “Bahaha! You’re going to… the small house!

imissopus July 23, 2010 at 2:15 am

[re=623971]Native of SL UT[/re]: For all we know, that is Andy Kaufman.

Jim89048 July 23, 2010 at 2:19 am

[re=623951]AddHomonym[/re]: That’s Floyd R. Turbo AMERICAN to you, Sir!

National Turkey July 23, 2010 at 2:21 am

Everyone loves a man in pseudo-uniform! Is Sergeant Pepper his running mate for Lt. Governor? Is Basil Marceaux actually the walrus?

Bearbloke July 23, 2010 at 2:23 am

[re=623813]Jim89048[/re]: There’s no such thing as a sane Republican governor, Mate – HE’S A BLOODY RINO!!!!11!!

[re=623890]user-of-owls[/re]: I don’t trust this new guy either…

Neilist July 23, 2010 at 2:29 am

[re=623895]southern mark smith[/re]: Yes.

[re=623903]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: Win.

[re=623888]Dean Booth[/re]: Aldo Kelrast

I am appalled that I knew who that was. Appalled.

Captain Swing July 23, 2010 at 3:31 am

[re=623947]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Yeah, once the Witch of Wasilla came along, The Bar was not only lowered, but placed on hard ground and stomped into a gazillion pieces…

Palin – Marceaux 2012 : We’re Crazy… We’re Cashed Up … And We’re Takin’ Command.

usernameguy July 23, 2010 at 3:55 am

Yeah… Making fun of people with actual, clear mental illness seems more like Larry the Cable Guy than Wonkette.

getoffmylawn July 23, 2010 at 6:18 am

Marceaux – Greene 2016!

Lazy Media July 23, 2010 at 6:39 am

Kids, let this be a lesson to you. Study hard in school so that if you become a paranoid schizophrenic, people won’t make fun of the grammar and spelling in your rambling, repetitive manifestos.

Can we get back to picking on actual bad people? Pitiful nuts just don’t do it for me. Howzabout Georgia Right to Life saying that Sarah Palin has endorsed a gubernatorial candidate who would have aborted Trig? (they pretty much said that).

Geogre July 23, 2010 at 6:51 am

[re=623975]Jim89048[/re]: Floyd R. Turbo indeed.

Johnny Carson used to satirize the Average American, and Flann O’Brien did “THE PLAIN PEOPLE OF IRELAND,” and both would be poking fun at the local crank with “conventional wisdom,” and then we have Miss Emily Latella.

I think folks haven’t been, generally, making fun of an insane man, quite. They’ve more been discovering new bits of delightful absurdity and carrying it back “home” to show the family, like a cat that’s been hunting, or they’ve been looking at the same corpse of logic as the others and picking at it a new way to get a new sound out of it. Not very many commenters, anyway, have been going for the man. Those who have should have focused more on the nonsense.

Let’s also say that this wouldn’t happen if Floyd R. Turbo didn’t have a “party” now, a host on FoxNews telling him he’s too temperate, and radio giving him random weirdness.

Brick Oven Bill July 23, 2010 at 7:55 am

‘Alvin Envy’

Wonkette may keep trying, but will continue to fail. Only Teabaggers have the fortitude to elect an Alvin. This process is tougher than it appears.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 23, 2010 at 8:03 am

Ugh, I don’t like making fun of ppl like this guy.

gurukalehuru July 23, 2010 at 8:09 am

[re=623781]Limeylizzie[/re]: Orange Julius is a delicious, slushy, creamy orange drink which is the approximate color of John Boehner and the shops which sell same, very common on the U.S. American east coast.

Oblios Cap July 23, 2010 at 8:32 am

Marceaux is a former Marine! He served his country just like Pagels and Greene.

Well, then. Since all service people are hereos, Mr. Marceaux surely qualifies. Thank you, Basil, for your service. Tennessee surely owes you the governorship.

Obviously coherence isn’t a requirement for serivce as a Marine. I did not know that.

First Rathbone, now Marceaux. The list of great Basils keeps growing.

MissyLissa July 23, 2010 at 8:39 am

[re=623888]Dean Booth[/re]: Ah, Aldo. I’d almost forgotten about that so wrapped up in the current sexting adventures of Mary Worth. I need to go reread those today.

Herman the German July 23, 2010 at 8:46 am

He was an emloyee of General Motors?
Well, that explains a lot.

slithytoves July 23, 2010 at 8:56 am

I am totally with him on the dental issue.

bureaucrap July 23, 2010 at 9:11 am

I haven’t seen anyone else say it, so I will:

Based on Pic #2 on his website, this apparently is what happened to Captain Kangaroo after his show was cancelled and he was partially lobotomized and relocated to Tennessee. The pseudo-military jacket and fake badge out of a cereal box from his colleague, Captain Crunch, are all he has to remind him of who he once was. STOP FORCED LOBOTOMIZATIONS NOW!!!1!!!

Manos: Hands of Fate July 23, 2010 at 9:15 am

You know I’m not sure if we really should be picking on this guy. He needs help, not our mockery.

Ducksworthy July 23, 2010 at 9:26 am

We are seeing the final stage of Reagan’s deinstitutionalization-of-mentally-ill-veterans project, finally come to fruition. First the street, then homeless, shelters, prison, finally high public office.

ph7 July 23, 2010 at 10:18 am

[re=624017]slithytoves[/re]: I’m totally with him on growing vegetation on vacant lots and selling it for gas. And I’m pretty sure I don’t like the Goldfinch flag, either.

Liberty Vader July 23, 2010 at 10:20 am

I’m glad he prioritizes education, though he has some unusual ideas regarding orthographic “reform.”

Liberty Vader July 23, 2010 at 10:23 am

As Tennessee Governor in 2010
Using the Civil Right Act of 1966 for the first time in history to find out two things:

1. why Democracy invaded the U.S. State on July 16 1866

TEAM CHATTANOOGA!

oneholebuster July 23, 2010 at 10:26 am

hey, we found something sooooo dumb on the internet.

can wonkette get back to being interesting and intelligent?

actor212 July 23, 2010 at 10:27 am

We should start the rumour that Chris Farley never really died, but had to fake his death to run for Governor of Tennessee.

I forsee many “bukkit” jokes in this candidate’s future.

actor212 July 23, 2010 at 10:29 am

[re=623756]user-of-owls[/re]: Little known fact: Hitler started out trying to rid Germany of the dreaded Orange Julius menace, but was minsunderstood.

It’s German. No one spoke it.

Half-Price Muslin July 23, 2010 at 10:37 am

“He was born in berks co. PA, on 11/05/1975???”

I sure hope I look that young and vibrant when I’m 34! Probbly shood eet at more TN “Meat and Threes.”

nappyduggs July 23, 2010 at 10:41 am

Just wanna go on record as saying that, yeah, this may have been a lob, but you are all still the funniest muthas on Planet Earf. This will totally carry me through the weekend. This and Champipple.

snoidoid July 23, 2010 at 10:47 am

[re=623878]Flanders[/re]: You got it! Skaolrebel can string two thoughts together, but this guy, jeez!

A quick perusal of his website says to me that his Marine days were the pinnacle of his life and it’s not just been downhill ever since then, it’s been 6 feet under. He also has bad teeth which bother him more than his bad back, and has been pulled over by the po-leece, probably more than once.

CapnFatback July 23, 2010 at 10:50 am

Hmm. Military service, low intellectual capacity, fiend to food suppliers. My god! So now we know whatever happened to Forrest and Forrest Jr! Doesn’t seem so much like a fairy tale now, does it, beeyotches?!

Archmichael July 23, 2010 at 10:51 am

Whack-Oh!

“8. Education ,let us put phonics back in school if you can not read you can not do History, Math, English. And that where we are now. Let make it mandatory in high school to read the
minutes to the U.S. Congress , the Congressional Globe the real history of the U.S.”

Umm, right Basil. And I can see that your personal study of phonics has served you well. Bubbaphonics, that is. Coupled with Bubbathink. Such as it is.

Ole Basil should apologize to everyone in the State of Tennessee for adding to the perception that everyone there is an uneducated, anti-gubmint nitwit.

The Trojan Horse was filled with a bunch of Greek Democrats?! Too funny. Except this guy (who doesn’t want waist-measuring for airplane fares instituted, like somma them other countries have) is quite serious.

This kind of thing cannot be invented. No one would believe it!

Liberty Vader July 23, 2010 at 10:57 am

[re=624101]oneholebuster[/re]: Through the distorting lens of this man’s incoherent ramblings, we gain a kind of direct access to the psychotic source material of southern political discourse. So there is value in focusing on the freaks, One Hole Buster.

crapshooter102 July 23, 2010 at 10:58 am

Holy Shit, I have a friend in Soddy Daisy. I haven’t heard from him in a few days, hope he hasn’t become a Traffic Stop Slave. I’m calling out the Militia and Governor (Elect) Marceaux.

OzoneTom July 23, 2010 at 11:38 am

He was great in “Killer Klowns from Outer Space”.

notreallyhelping July 23, 2010 at 11:39 am

Okay, shit. So huffing gas IS bad for you. Point taken.

Vartan84 July 23, 2010 at 11:44 am

I feel that putting together quotes from his website, one could construct quite a powerful piece of poetry, in the (post?)modernist style, just add a few dashes!:

“Things of important-
Who going to help us?
when civilian breaks their oath they are all immumed, does that sound like justice?
a tooth aches hurt more than a back aches, and no teeths depresses people

Things I done for my citizens-
I am a republican what does that make me ? a traitor
promoting slavery at traffic stops.
Look for my citizens enemy!”

-Basil Marceaux, Sr.

pdiddycornchips July 23, 2010 at 11:44 am

Why is the liberal media ignoring the important issue of traffic stop slavery?

notreallyhelping July 23, 2010 at 11:54 am

Maybe this actually came through a tear in the fabric of space-time, and we’re seeing Trig’s first campaign ad from 2060. No surprise he’d change his name.

facehead July 23, 2010 at 12:08 pm

When I say ‘Basil’ you say ‘Marceaux.’

crapshooter102 July 23, 2010 at 12:11 pm

This is what my friend in Soddy Daisy had to say about this guy.

Yes, I didn’t know his name but he is a LOON …cross eyed inbred fucker, people run from him in Wally world, Bi-lo…he is a loose

Cannon….files one lawsuit after another…judges have to let some of them in just to show people how fkg crazy he is!! When he goes into court I would imagine a swat team follows close behind him or undercover!! He must have the IQ of a possum, just keeps running towards cars until they finally get him!

How he has lived this long I cannot imagine…maybe our punishment for not allowing tests on deformed babies and aborting them.ROFLMAO If I happen to see him, I pretend

My hearing is gone, I do not want to be seen talking

To this freak. He gets a lot of attention..the SHOCKED kind!

Little kids scream and run from him…etc. If I hear screaming

When I go into Bi-lo, I quickly get back into my car and go

Somewhere else.

Crazy is NOT the word for this guy! It is not at all adequate.

widget09 July 23, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Let’s see, his website is incomprehensible and bordering on illiterate. how does one “immune” themselves from state law? Force non-violent offenders to be slaves, while murders and rapists sit around and watch TV? Sounds pretty fair to me (not). Knowing this lunitic is from Tennessee, I’d say he’s a “shoe-in”.

slappypaddy July 23, 2010 at 12:18 pm

you people are wonderful, i don’t care what they’re saying about you in the boys’ locker room, here’s a big sloppy kiss and a quick squeeze on the happy parts.

widget09 July 23, 2010 at 12:25 pm

[re=623729]Limeylizzie[/re]: E-gads, you mean there’s more than 1 page! I’ll take a look-see.

WhatRoughBeast July 23, 2010 at 12:29 pm

I hope Tennesseans refudicate him.

GOPCrusher July 23, 2010 at 12:36 pm

[re=623984]Captain Swing[/re]: I think we can all agree that the day America watched in horror, the Katie Couric interview, Idiocracy became reality.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 23, 2010 at 12:47 pm

I think Marsha Blackburn just found her second husband.

Satch July 23, 2010 at 1:15 pm

Macnamara’s 100,000

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_100,000

Coudabeen a marine.

TJBeck July 23, 2010 at 1:15 pm

If you didn’t have enough material to examine, Basil Marceax, Jr. has a MySpace page at http://www.myspace.com/the_1_true_scorpio. And a few years ago it seem he was having trouble with the ladies:

Sunday, December 07, 2008

what a women wants
Current mood: betrayed
Category: Life

It seems like to me that the better you are to a women the more you get hurt. It would be nice to meet a women thats wants to be takeing care of with out taking advantage of the relationship. I ask if you read this please give me advice on what women wants.

TJBeck July 23, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Hey look at that – Basil Marceax Sr. ALSO has a Myspace Page (and he lives in my favoritely-named-town-even-before-I-knew-about-the-Marceauxs, Soddy Daisy, Tennessee).

http://www.myspace.com/freedmenbureauagent

EdFlinstone July 23, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Basil you dont jump right into a race for Tennessee Governor in your first election. Start small and work your way up, like city council in Wasilla Alaska.

TJBeck July 23, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Wow, to get on the ballot in Tennessee requires just 25 signatures.

Sharkey July 23, 2010 at 1:42 pm

[re=624340]Satch[/re]: Learn something new every day. Thanks!

rottenart July 23, 2010 at 2:39 pm

[re=624005]Oblios Cap[/re]: Don’t forget Fawlty!

trondant July 23, 2010 at 2:42 pm

The Oracle of Tennessee: There ain’t no spoon, so jest pick up that thar gravy bowl an’ pour it down mah throat.

BadMFer July 23, 2010 at 2:46 pm

I ran an unsuccessful Congressional primary campaign or two (I really don’t remember the second one, I was high on crank then). I will volenteer my services and a $90 campaign contribution to the awesome mother fucker. This dude is off the mother fucking chain. Dude is my mother fucking hero. He says what he thinks and does what he feels. He is a mother fucking patriot (unlike that Democratic Fuck Thomas Jefferson who became the father of democracy in 1891 which made him a traiter).

It’s a damned good idea to put phonics back in school so you can ‘lern er histery’. How the fuck else would we know about that murderous bastard who masqueraded as our third President.

This mother fucker here is a true patriot, he served a couple of year in the Marines killing those gook bastards. This mother fucker will point our country in the right direction. This Son of a Bitch (I think quite litterally, except that mught be to insult the intelligence of dogs) knows hard fucking hard it is to put food on Tennessee shelves.

Basil in ’10 for one fucking office or another. Let’s all head to TN and stuff the ballot boxes.

BadMFer July 23, 2010 at 2:51 pm

[re=624024]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]:

I help the motherfucker. That Son of a Bitch has earned my vote. That’s helping

BadMFer July 23, 2010 at 3:04 pm

Anyone have the balls to click on the links where he works from page 3

http://politics.freesitenow.com/basilmarceauxforgovernor/page3.html

“I work at ; click here but look at the rest of my site first there will be no link back ” Apparently someone never hear of the back button

FidoMcCokefiend July 23, 2010 at 3:15 pm

I’m Basilmarceaux.com, your Republican candidate for Governor.

I’d like to recall all permits and registrations for guns. Everyone can carry a gun. Can they kill someone? No you get murdered and go to jail.

And uh, I’d like to put, plant grass or vegetation across the state or any vacant and sell it for gas so we can use it, use it for our expenses.

Also, I’m gonna remove all gold fringed flags from the state and fly the real flag with 3 stripes.

I also want to stop traffic stops set it up like the Supreme Court ruled in Knowles vs Iowa, if you can’t find evidence in a car you can’t look.

I want you to all to vote for Basil Marceaux.

I want you to say the Pledge of Allegiance to a Republic in the morning when you come out and we all pray to god and say amen, and everyone have a nice day and I’ll see you all and the polls.

Thank you have a nice day.

crcombine July 23, 2010 at 3:46 pm

Is it possible to get a happy ending at the hand shack? If not, why not?

coronad0 July 23, 2010 at 4:11 pm

This guy is so fucking awesome. Tennessee .. America .. The whole fucking planet needs his awesomeness front and center every day. He’s just a big lovable simpleton who would probably run everything into the ground with the Anti-Traffic Stop Slavery Commission, but ya know what, it’ll be bad ass the whole way down!

Duz Itayew July 24, 2010 at 11:30 pm

Meh– I just sent in a tip for this retard. I missed it here. Oh well. I’ve been busy watching Le Tour de France because I am a sushulist comunist Yooropeean like that.

Duz Itayew July 24, 2010 at 11:44 pm

I, for one, think he is one of those aliens all the snaggle-toothed banjo players in them thar hills are always yammerin’ on about analy probing them. This one alien took it a little too far.

kadooz July 25, 2010 at 12:03 am

You guys, if you tweet about him, he will follow you. I am scared.

MsQuasimodo July 25, 2010 at 1:35 am

[re=623881]Flanders[/re]: (OT sort of) ha, my DoD hospital computer (not DARPA) blocks prUn, YouTube, facebook, ebay, and all email websites, but NOT Wonkette or MSNBC. Go figure.

IceCreamEmpress July 26, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Granted, I’m a little put off by his repeated references to “idle Negroes”

That’s not him. That’s some anti-Reconstruction congressman from the Congressional Record for 1866.

You can tell it’s not him because of the subject-verb agreement.

buckybucktooth July 27, 2010 at 3:35 pm

Basil may be my 4th couisan on my ant loulou side. We so proud of him!
Go Vandi!

spazp July 28, 2010 at 6:51 pm

OMG this is GOLD! Love the article and all the comments, I can’t stop sending it to people.

DNR July 29, 2010 at 11:21 am

I am ashamed of those who make fun of this man. This man showed America the real him. No fancy words, no attacks to other candidates, no hidden agenda. Mr. Marceaux has my vote, I firmly believe that he would upheld the interests of Tennessee and not follow a political agenda. Good job Mr. Marceaux!!!

Simurgh30 July 29, 2010 at 2:56 pm

[re=624341]TJBeck[/re]: For even more fodder on Basil Jr. it seems that a lot of his girlfriend/wife/baby-momma’s MySpace page is public (http://www.myspace.com/aquarius_lexy). There are some stellar pictures (http://www.myspace.com/aquarius_lexy/photos/6877962, http://www.myspace.com/aquarius_lexy/photos/20574189) and apparently she likes to get high and somehow went to technical college BEFORE graduating high school. I didn’t feel so bad about creeping on her profile at first, because I really wanted to believe this was all an amazing hoax, a la Tim and Eric (http://www.timanderic.com/), but if so then it has been in the works since at least December 2008, which seems unlikely. So…congrats Mr. Marceaux on your Mobsters score and your family. Next time maybe work a bit on your internet-savvy before your dad becomes a youtube superstar.

Simurgh30 July 29, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Ok, so I was convinced this was a giant hoax, Tim and Eric style (http://www.timanderic.com/), until I noticed that Basil Jr’s girlfriend/wife/baby-momma has a publicly viewable MySpace profile (http://www.myspace.com/aquarius_lexy). Apparently she likes to get high a lot and somehow went to technical college before high school. Also, there are some killer pics of the couple: http://www.myspace.com/aquarius_lexy/photos/20574189, http://www.myspace.com/aquarius_lexy/photos/6877962.

If this is a hoax, it’s been in the works since 2008. So, sorry for doubting your reality Basil and Basil Jr. Congrats on the Mobsters score and the family. Maybe next time make your profile private before your dad becomes a YouTube sensation.

RobertEdwardJ25 August 3, 2010 at 10:29 am

Basil Jr. looks a bit like a cleaned-up Joe Dirt relative to his father, and his grammar and spelling are equally atrocious, but one of the points he makes about education is true:

“Give rights back to the parents. If children know that you can not touch them all they have to do is call the law and say you hit them ( weather [sic] you did or not). Then your in jail and any chance of discipline goes out the window.
Principles [sic] and teachers are next in line. Our principles [sic] should go to a school or take classes to be taught how to do the job successfully. The classes should be taught by retired principles [sic]. So that we can have world competitive principles [sic].”

OK, he needed better teachers and principals and probably fathers. However, he’s correct that much of our failed educational system is due to ACLU idiots destroying discipline in the family.

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