Climate Change Is Going to Have to Stop Happening Because Democrats Couldn't Pass a Bill

 
Lindsey Graham told Democrats to "TALK TO THE HAND" and John Kerryfreaked everyone out with his desperation, and now Democrats have officially given up on passing a bill that would limit greenhouse gas emissions, as they couldn't get enough votes. Sorry, Nature! Looks like you're going to have to figure out how to stop climate change yourself and stop depending on the U.S. government to solve all your problems. Go back to your public housing shack and try to find a job or something.

But hope is not lost, Democrats say!

Instead, Democrats, according to sources, will push for a more limited bill that would seek to increase liability costs that oil companies would pay following spills such as the one in the Gulf of Mexico and would create additional incentives for the purchase of both natural gas vehicles and products that can be used to reduce energy use in homes.

Wow, that will do the trick.

Well, keep trying, environmentalists. You'll save the world one of these days, or maybe all life will die. You've gotten it down to two possible outcomes at least, so that's pretty good. No need to get all hasty.

It is pretty amazing that Congress would even consider passing legislation in July, as this month is very close to Election Day in November. Usually members of Congress spend 90% of their time just trying to get re-elected, and more effort than the norm has been put into actually passing legislation since 2008, it seems.

John Kerry will now sigh loudly, cover himself in oil, and self-immolate in protest. And nobody will notice for a few weeks. [ WP ]