Things are heating up in the GOP primary race between diaper-lovin’ David Vitter and his opponent Chet Traylor, who sure seems to enjoy sipping on that fruity drive-thru daiquiri called “romance,” hoo wee. Democratic state Rep. Noble Ellington says Traylor, a Louisiana Supreme Court justice, stole his wife right out of his lovin’ arms and married her. And then when the wife died, Traylor started making out with Ellington’s daughter-in-law while she was still married to Traylor’s stepson. Family values, indeed! This race will go down in the history books as “Home-wrecking Judge Battles the Poop Monster.”
Traylor’s campaign manager Lev Dawson — who is an official Sweet Potato Kingpin — calls Traylor’s reputation “impeccable,” but maybe he really meant “impeccadillo-ful“? Because in addition to all the sexing, Traylor’s also facing a lawsuit filed by his dead wife’s two sons, Fox News reports:
Ellington’s two sons filed suit last month to try to compel Traylor to hand over parts of the estate and provide information to them about it, something Ellington says Traylor has resisted.
Maybe Traylor’s not ignoring them but simply too busy making love on an oily beach to pick up the phone and take their calls. From the sounds of it, he moved fast on snatching up his new lady-love, beginning their relationship “just a few months” after his wife died. Hey whatever, a man has NEEDS. David Vitter knows all about this. [Monroe News-Star/Fox News]
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Not salacious enough for David Vitter’s constituents, I’m afraid. As far as I can tell from these news stories, no money exchanged hands.
And chance Traylor was put up to run, just to make Vitter the Diaper-Shitter look, well, not good, but less abhorrent (if not ab-whorent) by comparison?
He’s just following the strategy of Julius Caesar, who liked to sleep with his political enemies’ wives, just to piss them off. Actually marrying one was probably a mistake, though.
“Like poop in a diaper, these are the Days of Lives (Lousianna.)”
It’s this sort of behavior that brought the hurricanes and oil spills to the cajun state. Why is Pat Robertson silent on this?
Don’t see how the father and son can blame their spouses for dumping them in favor of this guy. He looks just like the Dallas Cowboys’ ex-coach Jimmy Johnson, and as a Supreme Court judge can get all the ladies’ meth charges to go away. Who can compete with that?
JERRY! JERRY!
As long as they stick up for the oil bidness, nobody in Louisiana cares.
God, if we could only graft them together, we would be close the Conservative Republican ideal: a wife-stealing, Depends-loading, whore-hiring……Family Values American!
Sha p’ti babe, gonna rain turds and tarballs in teh bayou fer shur!
Fucking his stepson’s wife? The term is over-used, but this is Faulknerian depravity, all thats lacking is a secretly octoroon grandma and a transvestite bastard son blackmailing him.
There’s nothing like being naked and rollin around in crude oil and sand while fingerbangin “your step cousin” *wink*. Louisiana !
E Pluribus Poopyhead
Good Lord I wouldn’t let him within an inch of my pudenda, the cuckolded Democrat must look like hammered shit .
If I’m not mistaken, he has inflicted upon his son that which happened to Henchman #24 (the Ray Romano-sounding one) in The Venture Brothers. So I blame a barely-watched staple of Adult Swim.
[re=623112]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: It’s hetero, so therefore blessed by god.
Puts the ‘render’ in ‘surrender.’ Additionally.
I cry because, on one side, we have David Vitter. His CV’s “Other Activities and Hobbies” speaketh for itself.
On the other hand, his opponent is named Trailer Traylor.
It’s weird how all the Bible-belt states are so “religous” and yet do all the weird depraved sex stuff. They make states like Massachusetts seem like prim little old ladies.
Jesus, are these people like, inbred or something?
This is Louisiana.
He’ll campaign with a Bible and a rifle and “hooweee” at some barbecue/gumbo and shout about DC insiders and “drain the swamp.” Reality will not hit, except that it appears that FoxNews might want to side with their faithful Vittles.
What I want to know is why the Democrat lady went with him. Democrat ladies: have some standards!
[re=623165]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: “Taboo creates fetish”
Literalism and fearfulness of the Old Testament law, plus a legalistic understanding of religion (and no confessional in the churches and Baptist churches have individual dogma, church by church) mean that the “forbidden fruit” makes for weird sublimations of desire. Instead of just bonking away, like grown ups, they have to get Jessica Hawn to fondle herself. Instead of romping and rolling, they have to have these weird things with fish and cheese and four point restraints.
Meh. It’s not that special.
Last line from Monroe whatever story: “”Senator Vitter still enjoys strong polling among Republicans, including women,” Unter said.” Is this guy just stone cold polling anything he can get hold of?
This is Louisiana, right? Justice Traylor sounds just like the adulterous Judge Irwin in “All the King’s Men.”
Jerry Springer has to be the moderator for their debate.
[re=623128]Prommie[/re]: And corncobs. Nevah forget the corncobs.
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