Michele Bachmann is back with the latest episode of her Wonkette Special Commentary, “Hot Topix With Michele Bachmann.” What is she so concerned about, today? Oh, there’s some bogus wingnut teabagger scandal that can be awkwardly turned against … black people? Why is America so racist against its downtrodden whites? It’s as if Martin Luther Doctor King never even fought the Civil War to protect whites.
HOT TOPIX WITH MICHELE BACHMANN
July 21, 2010
{ 83 comments }
Somebody pointed out that the premature CNN headline “Breitbart Sparks Debate About Racism” is akin to “Ted Bundy Sparks Debate About Dating.”
Hurray! More hawt Benincasa on Bachmann action.
You are so good at not blinking. Like Michele, my lizard lady love.
Sweet! Needs moar crazy eyes tho.
[re=622233]norbizness[/re]: winner – major winner. Florida’s ol’ Sparky just hummed for joy.
why is there a Google ad about Alaska’s new conservative choice on the bottom of the screen there?
Hahaha, that was great. Great job with the eyes, you captured the Bachmann crazy pretty well.
It’s spelled “Topics” Sara. You know Shakespeare made up new spellings for words. For example, “cheque” instead of “check”. Or “loo” instead of “terlet”. This makes you — Sara Benincasa — our newest Shakespeare. So suck it Sarah P, you’ve been refudiated!
This is my new favorite Wonkette feature! When, oh when, will it be spun off into a prime-time sitcom?
“One is a crazy ‘soter Congresslady…the other is an Afro-Am president…THEY FIGHT CRIME!”
[re=622246]crunkjuice[/re]: I’m a YouTubez Partner, which allows me to enable GoogleAds on videos and then I get some revenue share. The magic robot picks the ads based on the tags I write for the video. This is why, when I did an assload of Sarah Palin vlogs in 2008, they were invariably sponsored by some Republican establishment.
Caucasian also starts with the same few letters as “cauk.” Heh heh heh.
[re=622255]Sara Benincasa[/re]: They’re in ur tubez, pickin’ ur adz.
[re=622255]Sara Benincasa[/re]: So you’re entertaining us and taking money away from the Republicans; that last part is a public service.
[re=622255]Sara Benincasa[/re]: Truth: you really had me at `assload`. But `invariably` closed the deal.
Bachmann would be a lot less wound-up if she just took up archeology in Sweden.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38343340/ns/technology_and_science-science/
Shopping at Hot Topic with Michelle Bachmann?
Needs more skulls.
Always good to start the day with a laugh. Bravo, Sara.
I’ve been a fan of this site for a few years now. I was sad to see Jim Newell go but Jack Stuef and others have almost made up for it. That being said, Sara Benincasa isn’t funny. She doesn’t write or make interesting YouTube videos. It’s just a chore. The thing with someone like Bachmann is that there’s no need to parody her. She’s unfiltered and crazy and just perfect the way she is. What these videos are is if someone wanted to make a spoof of Meet the Spartans or some other bull shit like that.
That the commenters like her only seems to me to say that they’re much more lonely than I had thought and that they’re afraid to savage a moderately attractive woman. It’s a shame, too, as they are usually pretty funny and insightful.
But seriously, less Benincasa. She’s awful.
And HERE COME THE PRETZELS
Love the manifesto written with your tongue bit. Perfectly captures the crazy.
[re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]: Oh, no. I’m actually excellent. You’ll come around. Give it time.
Liza Menelli’s eyes look better on you than on her.
Beautiful — also, Tom Vilsack is a first-class coward. What the hell was he afraid of — having to delete 5,000 angry and inarticulate emails from his inbox the next morning? Oh, okay — summarily firing someone for racism based on a Breitbart exposé is definitely the egalitarian way to handle that crisis.
I’d hit it. [re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]: “Moderately attractive?” Only of interest to the desperately lonely? How fucking dare you, sirrah. Noone calls my midlife crushes “moderately attractive” and goes unanswered. I demand satisfaction. What weapons do you prefer?
[re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]: Or it could be that you’re in the minority and the rest of us find her legitimately funny, along with all of the many not-gay females who like her. But of course, as the center of the universe, you are the arbiter of what is and is not funny, so troll on!
[re=622342]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I was going to go with “shitstain”, but coward, yeah, that works too.
[re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]: “But seriously, less Benincasa. She’s awful.”
Who is Benincasa? And why are you disrespecting this wonderful video of Hon. Michele Bachmann (nee Ilse Koch)?
[Sara: Dear heart, needs more "Munching the Loofa." (God, I love that expression. I may even let you fondle my gun . . . If You Know What I Mean, And I Think You Do.]
[re=622317]Sara Benincasa[/re]: I was about to type how much I loved your stuff and encourage you to keep up the good work but then Old One Eye told me that I am just lonely and afraid to pan you because you are an attractive broad. I’m so torn.
No seriously, Christ, what an asshole!
Did you know a lot of men claim that WOMEN AREN’T FUNNY, EVER?
Fuck them.
Needs more lycanthropy.
Q: Is being trodden a prerequisite to downtrodden? In other words, may I skip the trodden part?
[re=622273]SpenceRedux[/re]: win
[re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]: Now you’ve done it. Now you’ve really, really done it. You’re NEVER getting invited to Benincasa’s spring cotillion. N-E-V-E-R.
[re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]: Why would you post something like that? You looking for attention? We obviously love our new Sara. She’s smart and hilarious, and if you don’t get her, just don’t read her. In US America, mouse doesn’t work you.
The Sara is “rocking” it. If anything were lacking in quality or laughs The Sara wouldn’t have made it this far. We’re not all just playing along because The Sara is a hawtee.
[re=622384]Katydid[/re]: And don’t forget, she tastes like dulce de leche! Yummy yummy Benincasa.
[re=622255]Sara Benincasa[/re]: I, for one, would love to hear Sarah Palin explain why she isn’t going to the wedding, hint-hint.
[re=622418]Prommie[/re]: I don’t wanna upset JMP, but let me just say, I’m only planning on the threesome for you, much as I love the Sara. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
[re=622384]Katydid[/re]: In truth, the only thing wrong with teh New Wonket is the Ayn Rand comic and the outdated site design. Otherwise, the new contributors rock!
[re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]: [re=622363]Mad Brahms[/re]: As one of the “not-gay females” who is currently gay for Sara, I had no idea what she looked like before this post. It’s the funniez that makez the hawtness.
[re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]:
Opinions are like assholes, Sir, and both of yours truly stink.
[re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]: Hi fucker. I’ve never seen you on here before, and I’m sorry I read your post, because it was awful, and I assume that you’re awful, and that you’re kind of an alcoholic, with disgusting liver spots on your hands, which is cool, you know, I mean it’s a disease and all, but still, fuck off.
What [re=622427]Chet Kincaid[/re] actually meant was “holy shit please do not fuck with the site design.”
I think I’ve figured it out: OldOneEye == ObamasLeftTesticle == Andrew Breitbart
[re=622420]Chet Kincaid[/re]: It’s because Bristol insists upon wearing a flouncy flouncy wedding gown rather than the traditional Nieman Marcus hip-hiding, studded leather jacket, black pencil skirt and fire engine red fuck-me pumps. The girl does not respect the old ways.
[re=622233]norbizness[/re]: win also
[re=622479]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: Actually, Chet Kincaid meant what he originally said, although he would not change a thing about the commenting system, as it increases the entertainment value of the site 100%. But the site design itself has a serious case of The Olds.
[re=622495]Chet Kincaid[/re]: The Olds is not necessarily The Bads. I’ll take simplicity of form over some flash-using, multi-frame, XMLed-up-like-a-cheap-whore overload of a site any day.
[re=622384]Katydid[/re]: [re=622448]TakingAmes[/re]: I felt sort of bad speaking for `the wimmenz` as a male feminist, but I knew you were out there. Saved!
[re=622491]carlgt1[/re]: Where IS our buddy OBT today, anyway? I’m sure he has *fascinating* opinions on this Sherrod thing.
[re=622366]Neilist[/re]:
“God, I love that expression.” Do tell. http://tinyurl.com/3y2carr You should. It’s your’s. A mother always looks fondly upon her own child, no matter how unimaginably butt ugly.
A loofa is a dried, veined gourd, the bathtub equivalent of epidermal sandpaper, once used by middleclass American matrons and matronettes everywhere to give their skin that fashionable freshly abraded look. My, you’re a strange person and … an asshole, Pablo Picasso.
[re=622420]Chet Kincaid[/re]: I’ll second that.
[re=622511]S.Luggo[/re]: Nothing says sexytime like an object Bill O’ mistook for falafel.
[re=622511]S.Luggo[/re]: Noone ever called Pablo Picasso an asshole, I have that on good authority. But there is something about Sarah. I’d love to take her dancing in a lesbian bar.
[re=622291]OldOneEye[/re]: I’m not afraid to savage a moderately attractive woman. Just ask my wife. Heyoooo! No seriously, that’s quite an broad brush you’re painting Sarah’s audience with. I mean, with whom you’re painting Sarah’s audience. Why do you assume your sense of humor is the same as urrybody elses?
I’ll be the first to admit I don’t like the creepy “I wanna threesome with her” crap, but hey, it’s a free country. I mean, as long as the libtards are in power it will be.
[re=622423]Katydid[/re]: Frowny-face.
Well, to be fair, he is right about the commentariat.
I’m not assuming everyone will share my sense of humor or that it is better than that of others. I’m just trying to figure out why she is so well thought of amongst a group of people I’ve read to be funny and fairly intelligent over the years. I have quite a few friends and family that read Wonkette as well and all of them agree that the site isn’t nearly as good as it was even three months ago. Not all of my friends agree that it’s because of Sara Benincasa but none of them have said anything good, either.
I don’t find her funny. I find her quite unfunny, actually, and it’s the same sort of clunky and obvious humor that the guys who write those Date Movie movies would write.
I’m not even saying this site should always be funny. Some of my favorite things this site has ever done were articles that weren’t funny, such as Jim Newell’s post about health care last year. I got the impression that they actually believed things and that their anger was genuine. Jack Steuf’s recent article on Sherrod tapped into this as well. I don’t get the impression Sara actually believes in anything and her humor doesn’t tickle my funny bone (to be nice) so it mostly just annoys me and several others I know.
But hey, this site has given us Ayn Rand’s Adventures which have been fun. I’m just afraid that instead of being the site I most looked forward to reading it is becoming less fun, less insightful, and just snide for the sake of snide.
I apologize for coming off as caustic as I did, doubly so as I have a great deal of respect for many of the editors and commenters on this site, but I seriously don’t see why people think she is funny and the rabid defense of her is nothing short of baffling.
[re=622563]OldOneEye[/re]: Really? Sara doesn’t believe in anything? What about her lengthy post seconding Maureen Dowd’s essay about the Catholic Church?
And not to harp on it, but you actually like that Ayn Rand comic? That is the one new Wonk thing that hasn’t been funny in weeks.
[re=622538]Sgt. Biyatch[/re]: I think you mean “ravage”. RAVAGE your wife.
[re=622568]Chet Kincaid[/re]: If we all stop feeding this troll, maybe he’ll find a different bridge to sulk under. At least, I hope so, because he’s frightfully unfunny.
As for the comic – something about the art wigs me out, and it just isn’t too funny to me. Reading the comments after each of them, though, they seem to be pretty positive, so I guess it’s just something I don’t “get”. And Ben’s normal posts are quality, too, so I don’t hold it against him.
I assume all of the cuts were so that you could have your “crazy eyes” appear to be wide open and unblinking, yes?
[re=622568]Chet Kincaid[/re]: That was the one that turned me gay. So, I apologize for being unclear. It’s the funniez AND the intelligence that bring the hawtness.
[re=622577]Mad Brahms[/re]: Well ok, I’ll ease up on my criticism of the comic, since I don’t want to be accused of oppressing white folks in the current climate. But I will say that a very special appearance by Rush (both the Canadian one and the fat one) would save it for me.
The Ayn Rand comic might work for me because I recently read Atlas Shrugged so I might be a little more vindictive against that horrible woman and if someone just said that Ayn Rand eats poop that might be enough to make me smile. Seriously, it’s awful and I feel like there should be a support group for those that have read her work and didn’t become a Randroid.
[re=622577]Mad Brahms[/re]: Well, if you watched us go at it, you might think differently. But I won’t refudiate your correction.
Funny, the Ayn Rand comments illustrate perfectly the idea that we all have different senses of humor. After the departure of Sarah Smith and a few others, I felt that Wonkette was losing it’s funny mojo. But they’ve rebounded quite nicely, IMO.
[re=622577]Mad Brahms[/re]: But, you forget…they have been reading the Wonkette for “several years” and have “friends and family” who read it too! Don’t you think that qualifies this person to tell us that Sarah sucks and Wonkette is not as good as it used to be?
I hope Ken isn’t reading this thread. I can picture the poor fella sobbing into his IPA right now.
[re=622600]druranium[/re]: The fact that I first though “International Phonetic Alphabet?” is an indication that today’s Sherrod-related events have finally broken me, and I need a beer too.
[re=622563]OldOneEye[/re]: “the rabid defense of her is nothing short of baffling.”
I think it’s an invite to visit other places. Spread the love around. What was it Kathy Griffin said to the guy hassling her at work?
[re=622342]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Sometimes I think of singing to you “I did it all for the Wookies.” How would that go over, in Today’s America?
Today we are all Olivia Munn.
[re=622563]OldOneEye[/re]: You know, I love the love, you guys. But OldOneEye isn’t a troll. He just doesn’t like my comedy. He likes other things on the site.
Okay, evenhandedness button off. Time to return to my meaningless drivel.
Hey! There’s nothing creepy about threesomes, and I haven’t mentioned anything about threesomes since yesterday.
[re=622511]S.L[re=622563] Thanks, Sluggo. I care what you think.
Not very much, true.
But I do care.
[re=622563]OldOneEye[/re]: “I’ve read to be funny and fairly intelligent over the years.”
THESE people? “Funny and fairly intelligent” compared to what, precisely? A large, mud-encrusted brick?
[Sorry if that offends, Sluggo.]
[re=622653]Sara Benincasa[/re]: Ha ha once Jon realizes Munn’s indeed really seksi but not all that funny they’ll be banging down your door trying to get you on the show.
[re=622563]OldOneEye[/re]: Well, One Eye, in my opinion, your criticism is baseless. All of MY “friends and family” have found Sara to be fucking hilarious, even before she graced the pages of The Wonkette. Her Palin Vlogs were practically the only thing that helped me survive the hideous Walnuts/Wasilla Grifter Campaign until Barry actually won the thing.
I think you are really just a Team Sarah Anger Bear in disguise.
[re=622563]OldOneEye[/re]: You remind me of a professor when I was in college who seriously told me that, were he an upcoming graduate, he wouldn’t bother to show up for graduation. Because there were people YELLING and CHEERING and THROWING BEACH BALLS and THROWING THEIR CAPS INTO THE AIR and it was just so undignified. I think he must have confused “graduation” with “funeral”.
I think the comedy on Wonkette is worth every single penny I pay for it. It is the best entertainment value going.
What makes me sick is my cable bill. The cable company pays Fox for its “news channel” and then collects money from me to deliver that vile, rancid poo into my television set.
If we are not up to OldOneEye’s standards, I extend the invitation to show us how it us done.
Get out the camcorder, fire-up the YouTube and wow us.
[re=622563]OldOneEye[/re]: [re=622676]Sara Benincasa[/re]: Sara has her comedic strengths and weaknesses. Her Sarah Palin series was generally pure genius. Her Michelle Bachmann routine does not strike me as funny. I like her “Arlene” of Arlene’s Clip and Curl and Spa. My message is that there is some wheat in the chaff. Even Shakespeare didn’t always write first rate stuff. Some of his plays are actually pretty bad. But we love him anyway, for his good stuff.
[re=622815]PsycGirl[/re]: I think he must have confused “graduation” with “funeral”.
There’s a difference?
[re=622870]Aurelio[/re]: Now I am like Sarah Palin! SHAKESPEARE!
Also, my dad says I have to start doing the salon gal again. So I will!
[re=622528]Prommie[/re]: Not in New York.
http://www.lyricstime.com/jonathan-richman-pablo-picasso-lyrics.html
[re=622878]Neilist[/re]: [re=622878]Neilist[/re]: Parents look relieved at graduation.
[re=622650]Sara Benincasa[/re]: Oh, I think Today’s America would like that. And so what if they didn’t — I’d love it. So Today’s America is on notice as to what they ought to think about it.
Ha! It’s 12:36 AM and I have the TV on in the background and Chris Mathews just described Michelle Bachmann as inimitable. Ha! Someone ought to give him a link to Wonkette or Sara’s You Tube. Ha! Then he might find out she’s quite imitable. Ha!
[re=622893]Sara Benincasa[/re]: Just a thought. Michelle Bachmann isn’t always wide-eyed. She has wide-eyed moments, which is even spookier. Check her out here.
[re=622893]Sara Benincasa[/re]: Sorry, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_pN2IPAw6E
[re=622676]Sara Benincasa[/re]: I’m actully pretty sure OldOneEye is a troll, considering that was his (or HER!) first ever post:
http://www.google.com/search?q=site:wonkette.com+OldOneEye&hl=en&safe=off&filter=0
Holy crap, I have 1440 results (and that doesn’t count the ones lost in the Great Wonkette Wordpress Comment Purge of 2008 (they’ve gotta be in some neglected MySQl table somewhere (and hopefully in the library of congress (http://wonkette.com/402368/library-of-congress-lowers-its-standards)))).
Dude, taste is really above legislation. Which means you’re entitled to yours, but not to having it turn into the official policy for others. I, for example, think Sara is utterly hilarious; then again, I am a morbidly obese shut-in. This video made my day–and it’s only 8 AM! Time for me to retreat to the couch with a bag of pork rinds and pine after moderately attractive people on the teevee.
That crazy bitch from Minnesota is right, we should all be pissed at Tom’s “ripped” Vilsac. Personally I find that Sarah Benincasa in all her glory does a pretty damn good Bachman impersonation except there is just one X-factor missing: Bachman is so insane it’s like spontaneous human combustion, the magic just kind of happens. It’s like attempting to impersonate Newt Gingrich being a fat piece of shit and…..okay now onto my comment. This whole phony Shirley Sherrod scandal has gotten me so fucking irritated with the Obama Administration and their willingness to jump when some racist, scumsucking conservative shitstick says “racist!”. Maybe this is how we get things done, let’s just start attaching some crazy birther label or some other such racist and abhorrent label to legislation and then we’ll see Obama actually do some things WE WANT for a change; the principle is using reverse psychology as a dog whistle for his pants shitting self to become reactionary and get off his ass and get something done…this could work with climate change and the carbon tax.
Okay, okay…I’ve gotten onto a rant here, I’m just full of toxic venom about this situation…it’s jusy so typical of Democrats to do something like this, isn’t it? Breitbart is a fat dangleberry huckster from Rush’s unwashed taint and now TWICE, TWICE he’s gotten the Democrats to just spinelessly give in to his lies without even the slighest resistance. If the Republican party with this group of psychos, flat-earthers, facists, neo-confederate civil war re-enactors and American Taliban as its vanguard manages to take control of congress this November then the Democrats get exactly what they deserve by being spineless twats to the GOP and obstructionists of their own fucking agenda!
I used to live in the reddest of red states and I’ve been around many a Republican, they aren’t scary Democrats. In fact for the most part they’re just a bunch of stupid hicks with mommy issues and selfish streaks a mile wide. Why do you people keep giving in? No wonder you’re losing in the polls, American’s don’t have the attention spans to follow the issues and know this crop of Republicans is like a whole collection of crazy uncles who live in their mother’s attics and collect “Twilight” cups for Team Sissy-Vampire, or whatever the fuck that is. I’ve never seen a bigger group of pants-pissers unable to stand up to overweight, physically unimposing bullies in my life! Get it together Democrats because we’re all getting sick of watching you be sniveling cowards and take historic majorities and just hand them off to the redneck cast of “Wrong Turn”. There, got it out of my system, now I don’t need any alcohol to repress the rage.
OH and to break the uh…Old One Eyed troll’s stereotype, I think Sara Benincasa is quite attractive as well as humorous and I’m neither middle-aged, nor obese and I’m seldom lonely. But I do know who an attractive woman is and am unabashed to say so…so suck it, troll-ass.
Oldz may not be a troll, but he sure has trollish tendencies.
Remember when President Obama tore off Stanley McChrystal’s entire epidermis because Stan was acting like a little bitch and telling mean jokes to his Army boyfriends? Now Rahm Emanuel wears that skin, in the shower at the gym, where he is waiting to be Jew-Raptured to the Heaven that is Chicago mayoralty.”
In my opinion, if you don’t find that fucking hilarious, you should probably kill yourself.
(I just hope the fact that I suffer from unimaginable loneliness doesn’t distract from my point.)
Comments on this entry are closed.