OILY PELICANS  3:28 pm July 21, 2010

Tropical Deathstorm Forming, Could Impact Spill, But Not On Day 93

by Garrett Quinn

  • Ok this is starting to get old guys, get this shit off of me.Just when you thought that everything was returning to normal in the Black Gulf (OMG IS THAT RACIST?!? PLEASE DON’T FIRE ME GREAT AND POWERFUL EDITOR KEN LAYNE!!11!! BREITBART CAN HAZ TEH VIDEOS!) there appears to be a tropical death-storm forming in the Caribbean Sea. Presently it has a 60% chance of forming into a tropical death-storm. Where will it go? Just like the cleanup operations, nobody knows — but it will likely crash into Florida or end up stirring shit up in the Gulf. [NOAA]
  • Local Alabama news lady gathers samples of water from local beaches where kids are playing and building sandcastles. The samples contain high levels of petroleum. The levels were so high in one sample that it went boom just like the oil rig. We have another Love Canal in the making! [WKRG]
  • Think all the vessels of opportunity and the forced hiring of all the inexperienced locals is saving the Gulf and making things right like Tony promised? WRONG. [Miami Herald]
  • The pressure in the oil well continues its slow climb of 1 PSI per hour, and Admiralismo Allen authorized another 24 hour period of usage for the capped well. It appears that BP and Allen are no longer fighting over that note and are BFFs … for now. [New Orleans Times-Picayune]
  • The Deepwater Horizon spill is some weak sauce when compared to the deforestation of Hatti and the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. The what, you say? Oh right those disasters don’t have sad pictures of cute turtles and pelicans choking on oil so we don’t care that much. [Reason]
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weejee July 21, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Fire when read Gridley

Serolf Divad July 21, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Shirley Sherrod is the new Michelle Obama “whitey” tape.

weejee July 21, 2010 at 3:39 pm

♫♫ Tarballs keep fallin on my head
BP has got it stopped, but they ain’t hardly mopped
The sky if full of shit
Those tarballs are fallin’ on my head, they keep fallin’ ♫♫

Aurelio July 21, 2010 at 3:39 pm

They have been very lucky with the weather so far. This is one of God’s little jokes. Now comes the Death Storm.

SayItWithWookies July 21, 2010 at 3:45 pm

Well let’s see — at 1psi per hour, the wellhead will reach its desired pressure of 9,000psi in 2,000 hours, which is — um — 83.3 days. I certainly hope that the seepage up through the busted well casing (which doesn’t exist, by the way — nothing to see here) doesn’t cause the sea floor to collapse or anything, ejecting billions more gallons of oil into the Gulf. But I’m sure those BP folks know what they’re doing.

WarAndG July 21, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Well every “Love Canal” SHOULD be oily. You know what I mean, nudge nudge? Huh? huh?

Ruhe July 21, 2010 at 3:50 pm

“Trees have a life cycle don’t they. So, there is a natural cycle of what you’d call ‘deforestation’ everywhere, not just on Haiti. The Pacific currents that form the so-called ‘great garbage patch’, well, they were already there long before the garbage came in. So let’s try to keep this all in some context OK, Juan?”

Britt Hume

McDuff July 21, 2010 at 3:50 pm

Yes, Reason, the Pacific Ocean would be perfectly clean if we’d just sell it to the highest bidder who would then “own” it and want to take of it. Hey, BP, wanna buy a whole ocean?

PlanetWingnuta July 21, 2010 at 3:59 pm

I look forward to serving our Mutant Overloads when they arrive!

DoktorZoom July 21, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Look, if Hattie wants to get “deforested,” that’s her own damn bidniss.

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

NopantsMcGee July 21, 2010 at 4:35 pm

“CAN HAZ TEH ” Please don’t do this. I like Wonkette for it’s humor and it doesn’t include writing like a specially educated tweenager.

GOPCrusher July 21, 2010 at 4:50 pm

[re=622631]Ruhe[/re]: Where’s the garbage?

momus July 21, 2010 at 10:15 pm

BP Disaster Assuredness is on the job.

bixie July 22, 2010 at 1:13 am

Gotta love the disasters! Especially the wide variety of them.. Keeps me somewhat amused!

tribbzthesquidz July 22, 2010 at 1:19 am

[re=622630]WarAndG[/re]: Have no idea.

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