oily pelicans

Tropical Deathstorm Forming, Could Impact Spill, But Not On Day 93

  • Ok this is starting to get old guys, get this shit off of me.Just when you thought that everything was returning to normal in the Black Gulf (OMG IS THAT RACIST?!? PLEASE DON’T FIRE ME GREAT AND POWERFUL EDITOR KEN LAYNE!!11!! BREITBART CAN HAZ TEH VIDEOS!) there appears to be a tropical death-storm forming in the Caribbean Sea. Presently it has a 60% chance of forming into a tropical death-storm. Where will it go? Just like the cleanup operations, nobody knows — but it will likely crash into Florida or end up stirring shit up in the Gulf. [NOAA]
  • Local Alabama news lady gathers samples of water from local beaches where kids are playing and building sandcastles. The samples contain high levels of petroleum. The levels were so high in one sample that it went boom just like the oil rig. We have another Love Canal in the making! [WKRG]
  • Think all the vessels of opportunity and the forced hiring of all the inexperienced locals is saving the Gulf and making things right like Tony promised? WRONG. [Miami Herald]
  • The pressure in the oil well continues its slow climb of 1 PSI per hour, and Admiralismo Allen authorized another 24 hour period of usage for the capped well. It appears that BP and Allen are no longer fighting over that note and are BFFs … for now. [New Orleans Times-Picayune]
  • The Deepwater Horizon spill is some weak sauce when compared to the deforestation of Hatti and the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. The what, you say? Oh right those disasters don’t have sad pictures of cute turtles and pelicans choking on oil so we don’t care that much. [Reason]

About the author

As the only libertarian at Wonkette Garrett is often the subject of scorn and ridicule by the rest of the communist staff. When he isn't snapping photos of furries in compromising positions he strings sentences together on Massachusetts politics and culture on Boston.com and is a contributor to WGBH radio & teevee. In addition to media he works for a small family owned environmental contractor in Greater Boston. He religiously supports the United States National Team, Boston Red Sox, and Boston Bruins.

View all articles by Garrett Quinn
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  • weejee

    Fire when read Gridley

  • Serolf Divad

    Shirley Sherrod is the new Michelle Obama “whitey” tape.

  • weejee

    ♫♫ Tarballs keep fallin on my head
    BP has got it stopped, but they ain’t hardly mopped
    The sky if full of shit
    Those tarballs are fallin’ on my head, they keep fallin’ ♫♫

  • Aurelio

    They have been very lucky with the weather so far. This is one of God’s little jokes. Now comes the Death Storm.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Well let’s see — at 1psi per hour, the wellhead will reach its desired pressure of 9,000psi in 2,000 hours, which is — um — 83.3 days. I certainly hope that the seepage up through the busted well casing (which doesn’t exist, by the way — nothing to see here) doesn’t cause the sea floor to collapse or anything, ejecting billions more gallons of oil into the Gulf. But I’m sure those BP folks know what they’re doing.

  • WarAndG

    Well every “Love Canal” SHOULD be oily. You know what I mean, nudge nudge? Huh? huh?

  • Ruhe

    “Trees have a life cycle don’t they. So, there is a natural cycle of what you’d call ‘deforestation’ everywhere, not just on Haiti. The Pacific currents that form the so-called ‘great garbage patch’, well, they were already there long before the garbage came in. So let’s try to keep this all in some context OK, Juan?”

    Britt Hume

  • McDuff

    Yes, Reason, the Pacific Ocean would be perfectly clean if we’d just sell it to the highest bidder who would then “own” it and want to take of it. Hey, BP, wanna buy a whole ocean?

  • PlanetWingnuta

    I look forward to serving our Mutant Overloads when they arrive!

  • DoktorZoom

    Look, if Hattie wants to get “deforested,” that’s her own damn bidniss.

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  • NopantsMcGee

    “CAN HAZ TEH ” Please don’t do this. I like Wonkette for it’s humor and it doesn’t include writing like a specially educated tweenager.

  • GOPCrusher

    [re=622631]Ruhe[/re]: Where’s the garbage?

  • momus

    BP Disaster Assuredness is on the job.

  • bixie

    Gotta love the disasters! Especially the wide variety of them.. Keeps me somewhat amused!

  • tribbzthesquidz

    [re=622630]WarAndG[/re]: Have no idea.