YOU MADE IT MOESHA  4:17 pm July 20, 2010

Elena Kagan Confirmed, Surprising Everyone

by Jack Stuef

Oh, let them have their moment, John.The Senate Judiciary Committee voted to advance Elena Kagan’s Supreme Court nomination to the full Senate today. The score was 13 to 6, entirely along party lines except for Lindsey Graham, who voted “YOU GO, GIRL.” Graham said Kagan was “not someone he would have chosen,” according to the Times, as she is not his type, but he weirdly voted based on her being qualified to hold the position, not based on the party of the man who nominated her. Ha, he is going to lose his next primary now.

Meanwhile, Lindsey Graham and Dick Durbin are getting married.

Senator Richard J. Durbin of Illinois, the second-ranking Democrat in the Senate, said that Mr. Graham’s remarks had made him rethink his own approach to judicial nominations — including the decision by Democrats several years ago to prevent Miguel Estrada, a prominent conservative lawyer, from getting a hearing before the committee when President George W. Bush nominated Mr. Estrada to a federal appeals court.


Of Mr. Graham, Mr. Durbin said: “I reflected on some of the things that I have said and how I have voted in the past, and thought that perhaps his statement suggested a better course.”

You kids are cute! Don’t worry what Sarah will say. You should get hitched! But be sure to keep your Senate job, Dick, as Lindsey is getting fired:

Richard Quinn, a Graham consultant, defended his client — noting that the Senator is “not a demagogue”. Added Quinn: “He’s a thinking person’s conservative. I expect him to do well among voters with IQ’s in triple digits.”

Yeah neither of those types of people exist anymore. Sorry, Lindsey! The Post has a list of people who could take him on, and as this is South Carolina and the Republican Party, there are many people who want to serve alongside Alvin Greene.

And now Elena Kagan will be confirmed and this non-story will come to an end. [NYT/The Fix]

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FMA July 20, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Do well with people with triple-digit IQs? In South Carolina?
He’s fucked.

actor212 July 20, 2010 at 4:21 pm

Finally…a Lebanese on the SCOTUS!

thejesusandmarycheney July 20, 2010 at 4:22 pm

Aww, Lindsey’s finally found a Dick to love him back.

mumblyjoe July 20, 2010 at 4:23 pm

I expect him to do well among voters with IQ’s in triple digits


ManchuCandidate July 20, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Where’s the army of Teabaggers?

For a bunch of committed patriots who are trying to stop the socialization/facistzation(sic)/nazification/communization/blackpower/latinization of US America the Free (especially if you’re white) they aren’t doing a good job. 0 fer.

JMP July 20, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Aw crap, I was hoping for more of those gripping committee hearings on C-SPAN.

Jim89048 July 20, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Elena who?

Extemporanus July 20, 2010 at 4:31 pm

The Supreme Court steam room is about to get a whole lot steamier!

♫♪Boom chicka wah-waaahhh…♫♪

GreyPanter July 20, 2010 at 4:37 pm

“I expect him to do well among voters with IQ’s in triple digits”

Do what well?

Serolf Divad July 20, 2010 at 4:38 pm


I think by “triple digit IQs” they mean people whose measured IQs include the number “3″ in them. There are a lot of those in South Carolina.

ella July 20, 2010 at 4:40 pm

I expect him to do well among voters with IQ’s in triple digits.

All four of them.

chascates July 20, 2010 at 4:53 pm

Jeff Sessions and Orin Hatch are still crying like little sissy girls.

nappyduggs July 20, 2010 at 4:53 pm

Do they begin IQ measurements with zeros? This would make 001 or even 005 viable.

M.Steele July 20, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Ohhh Lord, The Teabagger army will have a collective Polident melt down soon. …And I know some of you perverted types are lookin to take advantage of the oldz.

SayItWithWookies July 20, 2010 at 4:57 pm

“He’s a thinking person’s conservative. I expect him to do well among voters with IQ’s in triple digits.”

Congratulations, Lindsey — you’ve won the vote of every pair of South Carolina’s conjoined twins.

GOPCrusher July 20, 2010 at 4:59 pm

“A thinking person’s conservative”? WTF?

Extemporanus July 20, 2010 at 4:59 pm

“Triple digit IQ” is Mensa slang for “the shocker”.

Extemporanus July 20, 2010 at 5:03 pm

[re=621759]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Then he truly is fucked — Chang & Eng lived in North Carolina.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 20, 2010 at 5:05 pm

+ a zillionty for the Moesha reference, Jack Steuf. Also fuck you for almost getting me fired for the guffaw it produced.

MLHencken July 20, 2010 at 5:12 pm

best blingee yet.

obfuscator July 20, 2010 at 5:13 pm

[re=621730]mumblyjoe[/re]: senator graham will do quite well with the 15 year old chinese math whiz bloc.

Ducksworthy July 20, 2010 at 5:15 pm

Oh bring it on! Admittedly no one ever went broke, or was voted out of office, for underestimating the intelligence of the American public. But the bearded lady and the two headed calf were plausible freaks. Unlike the teabagger army. Whey they are done with the GOP the remaining rethulicans will be able to caucus in, as they say, a phone booth, or since those no longer exist, having gone the way of the honeybee and gulf shrimp, and more fittingly given who we’re talking about, they can caucus in a 1968 Volkswagen Bug still wearing their orange wigs and tricorn hats.

user-of-owls July 20, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Wow! There’s a whole lotta win in these comments! Excelsior!

Extemporanus July 20, 2010 at 5:23 pm

[re=621759]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=621766]Extemporanus[/re]: Actually, Lindsey might still stand a chance!

From the afore-linked-to Wikipedia entry on the Bunker bros:

“Determined to start living a normal life as much as possible, the brothers settled on a plantation, bought slaves, and adopted the name “Bunker”. On April 13, 1843, they married two sisters: Chang to Adelaide Yates and Eng to Sarah Anne Yates. Interestingly, this made their respective children double first cousins. In addition, because Chang and Eng were identical twins, their children were genetically equivalent to half-siblings, thus making them genetically related in the same manner as half-siblings who are also first cousins. Their Traphill home is where they shared a bed built for four. Chang and his wife had 10 children; Eng and his wife had 11.”

Surely one or two members of that double-digit, racist, inbred brood must’ve crawled outta the ol’ holler swamp, hiked the Appalachian Trail into Palmetto State territory, and proceeded to just cold sow their mutant semi-Siamese seeds.

Ducksworthy July 20, 2010 at 5:23 pm

Of course Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III will survive. Named as he is for a whole family tree of traitors and owners of Alabamians, black and white, its wonderful how white Alabamians love their owners. But I doubt he’d be averse to wearing an orange wig and tricorn hat. So he’ll fit right in.

Can O Whoopass July 20, 2010 at 5:30 pm

“Meanwhile, Lindsey Graham and Dick Durbin are getting married.”

Crisco… it’s not just for fryin’ chicken anymore!

SayItWithWookies July 20, 2010 at 5:32 pm

[re=621781]Extemporanus[/re]: Well according to this site there are about a dozen pairs of conjoined twins alive today in the US — so there might be a set in SC. I hope not though — it would be difficult enough growing up in South Carolina, but to grow up as a conjoined twin? “Mom, stop saying you can’t tell us apart — I’m always the one on the left.” “Not when you turn around, you’re not.”

mustardman July 20, 2010 at 5:46 pm

“thinking person’s conservative”. Ha Ha……the irony is funny.

Mr. Tusks July 20, 2010 at 5:57 pm

God I love how the Beibz is in all the blingees.

weejee July 20, 2010 at 6:01 pm

So it is looking like the SC 2014 GOP Senate primary won’t get short sheeted. Lindsay, come out, come out, there’s nothing left to hide. Just open the closet door, there ya go, that right…

Extemporanus July 20, 2010 at 6:18 pm

[re=621795]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I believe that’s what’s known in genetic science circles as a “Bunker’s Dozen”.

In an effort to help tell their Siamese twins apart, I’d suggest that South Carolinian moms make them wear little propeller beanies with the letters “L” or “R” on them, but that solution presumes a level of literacy learnin’ not readily in evidence.

user-of-owls July 20, 2010 at 6:21 pm

I wonder what Kagan would look like in a fez.

Bearbloke July 20, 2010 at 6:56 pm

Elena Kagan + Lindsey Graham = GURL POWER!!!!1!!!

lawrenceofthedesert July 20, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Things are dicey for South Carolina; it’s not used to getting really tough competition from both Arizona and the perennial favorite Utah in the Fly in the Face of All Realities sweepstakes. (Texas is not really a contender, because it’s all about the money in Texas about 95 percent of the time.) Rock-ribbed Southern Baptist reactionary politics seems to have gone out with high-button shoes, replaced by Twisted Mormon Logic and hip-hop Arizona Pick on Spics. How far out is this competition when Las Vegas is the grounded center of enlightenment that prevents Nevada from getting in the race? Rahsan Roland Kirk and Wavey Gravy weren’t that far out!

Neilist July 20, 2010 at 7:19 pm

[re=621759]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “Congratulations, Lindsey — you’ve won the vote of every pair of South Carolina’s conjoined twins.”

Win. Undeniably.

Neilist, although an ASSHOLE, can acknowledge Excellence.

user-of-owls July 20, 2010 at 7:22 pm

[re=621847]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Perhaps. But South Carolina can always take solace in its Lifetime Achievement Award in the Carne Argentina, Lo Mejor Carne category.

weejee July 20, 2010 at 7:47 pm

[re=621847]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: OT, perhaps

Larry, feathered friend [re=621823]user-of-owls[/re] has been on point sometime now with the Palin Hookworm Conjecture. Since your avatar, Florence of the Arabia, was a University of Nottingham alum would you be able to provide some valuable input on why when you Google Map “palin hookworms” you get dropped in the middle of Boating Lake at your alma mater?

Are we sure that Lindsay Graham doesn’t have a similar condition and why he blithely voted for Justice Kagan and thus has incurred the wrath of the South Carolina trailertards with IQs in single and double digits. Even Senator-not-to-be Ernest J. Pagels, Jr., has exhibited some signs that he too may have some worm tunnels in his gray matter.

rocktonsammy July 20, 2010 at 8:14 pm

my ghey daughters both played softball and they ain’t no soopreme joostaces.

Apocalyptic Supermarket July 20, 2010 at 8:26 pm

That blingee makes my heart happy. I think I love you.

MOG July 20, 2010 at 8:45 pm

I loves myself some POTUS in shorts!

Jumping Jim July 20, 2010 at 9:15 pm

So he can’t get Mark Sanford’s vote? How about Jenny?

Shot at Wolf July 20, 2010 at 9:41 pm

Three digits? Hell, I’ve got TEN, but I’m prolly not vote for Mr. Graham nex’ time anyway. Less’n he turns a hard left on other issues.

elenique July 20, 2010 at 10:42 pm

Yaay! The supremes now almost have a pitcher for their team! I wonder if she throws right and bats left?

snideinplainsight July 20, 2010 at 11:06 pm

Why is that one dude in like every Blingee lately? Who is he, one of the ‘New Kids on the Block’?

FourthEstatePost July 20, 2010 at 11:14 pm

Wonkette Staff… blingee masters

snideinplainsight July 20, 2010 at 11:39 pm

Hanson! It’s Hanson! Amirite, or amirite?

user-of-owls July 20, 2010 at 11:52 pm

[re=621922]snideinplainsight[/re]: [re=621932]snideinplainsight[/re]: No, it’s Frankie Avalon. Get hip, you square.

Sleeves July 21, 2010 at 12:27 am

[re=621932]snideinplainsight[/re]: Yes. [post user-of-owls] Zoidberg “Oh.”

[re=621926]FourthEstatePost[/re]: Blingee *is* progressive. When will it reach apogee (or perigee?)…one of the four last things…Ref. 1844 G. Bush Anastasis (1845) Pref. v, Scriptural Eschatology.

Sleeves July 21, 2010 at 12:34 am

[re=621926]FourthEstatePost[/re]: Death, judgement, heaven, hell…you’ve got better things to do with your time!1! “The science of the last things, is, as a science, one of the most baseless.”

Herman the German July 21, 2010 at 8:18 am

Conservative and IQ in triple digits?
Where do these strange beings exist?

miquonranger03 July 21, 2010 at 10:31 am

Silly, conservatives don’t think! They tap into the hive mind: the dripping, throbbing, Dick Cheney-like hive mind! Then they rape it and flee to the Appalachian Trail.

AuntieLola July 21, 2010 at 2:08 pm


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