IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  8:27 am July 20, 2010

Hillbillies To Rescue America’s Unemployed

by Josh Fruhlinger

  • Heck, no, you know everyone around here just makes methWith handsome devil Carte Goodwin scheduled to be sworn in as Robert Byrd’s seat-warming replacement sometime today, Democrats (plus the reliable communist ladies from Maine) should be able to break the Republican filibuster and get that lucrative government money flowing to the unemployed again, huzzah! Plus they plan to spend the whole midterm campaigning telling the millions of jobless that John Boehner personally kept their checks in his office so that they couldn’t be mailed out. [NYDN]
  • Speaking of West Virginia, who will win/run for the Robert Byrd Memorial Waste Processing Plant and Senate Seat? Nate Silver, with whom you had a torrid Internet affair in the summer and fall of 2008, and whom you still remember fondly, discusses the possibilities. [538]
  • The Senate Judiciary Committee’s vote on Elena Kagan’s nomination will happen today. It will be as boring as the rest of the whole process has been so far. [UPI]
  • Georgia is having its primary today, for governor and a bunch of other stuff! Is anything funny happening there? We haven’t really been keeping track. [AP]
  • The U.S. and South Korea will be holding a series of big military exercises in the Sea of Japan as a “first step in deterring North Korea,” a phrase that is not at all terrifying. [NYT]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 30 comments }

Way Cool Larry July 20, 2010 at 8:35 am

surely there’s some inbred redneck reactionary heehaw in the GA elections we can laugh at? If not– what is this world coming to???

TJBeck July 20, 2010 at 8:35 am

If Rod Blagojevich doesn’t get at least an interview for the WV seat, there is something seriously wrong with our nation.

norbizness July 20, 2010 at 8:38 am

That must have been the series where Snuffy Smith had his head cracked open by the coal bosses’ hired goons.

TJBeck July 20, 2010 at 8:42 am

[re=621067]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I’m searching youtube for “Georgia tea party candidate”

fictional character July 20, 2010 at 8:44 am

if the world cup didn’t deter north korea, nothing will.

TJBeck July 20, 2010 at 8:48 am

OK, so far the funniest guy I’ve found is Jody Hice. He’s got one of the world’s greatest web site splash images at http://www.jodyhice.com/, and he’s running a billboard attacking Obama using hammer and sickle logos, but the lack of hitlers in the billboard indicates he’s a little too centrist for my taste.

Chernobyl Soup July 20, 2010 at 8:51 am

Now nobody will be looking for jobs.

Monsieur Grumpe July 20, 2010 at 8:56 am

I can’t believe Snuffy Smith is still around. Does he still protect his still with a shotgun? Loweezy was kind of hot.

facehead July 20, 2010 at 8:56 am

Is Mothra with the north or south?

Limeylizzie July 20, 2010 at 8:56 am

[re=621075]TJBeck[/re]: I took a peak at Dr.Jody Hice and he has many fine Americans supporting him, including that adorable Tom Tancredo, but I liked this man from some Tea Party group…

“As I look out over the fruited plains of America I see “abuses and usurpations” to the U.S. Constitution which have become “destructive to these ends” as written by our Framers. I seek to endorse a man who fears God, reveres the Judeo-Christian heritage of our nation, is a Madisonian constitutionalist and desires to serve as a citizen legislator and not a lifelong professional politician.

Only one man running for the 7th U.S. Congressional District of Georgia meets my criteria. His name is Jody Hice. Twice Jody has stood in the national public policy arena and has been battle tested by fire first with his defense of the “Ten Commandments” in Barrow County and second with his IRS challenge of “Pulpit Freedom Sunday”. Our Framers mutually pledged their Lives, Fortunes and Sacred Honor. Jody Hice is a man of that measure.

Chernobyl Soup July 20, 2010 at 8:59 am

[re=621075]TJBeck[/re]: There has never, in the history of the world, been a heterosexual male named Jody. No way is that guy going to win in Georgia.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith July 20, 2010 at 9:00 am

I just voted for Roy Barnes in the Ga primary. Our primary has not been nearly as interesting as the one in Alabama. However, a few months back there was that story here on the Wonkette about the shitkicker who fucked his donkey and was running as a Republican for Governor. Somehow he did not make it on the ballot.

TJBeck July 20, 2010 at 9:01 am

[re=621075]TJBeck[/re]:

This vid has some Tim James-esque “wandering around an empty mansion” potential, with a much more pretentious and awesome soundtrack, but eventually he stops walking and just stands there about to sex up an original copy of the constitution. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3tSbldg7K0

I’m very worried for those chickens in this shoot’em’up gun rights vid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2MnYMHBvR8

All in all, though, not much more than standard Tea Party crap.

Bubberella July 20, 2010 at 9:06 am

[re=621080]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: The heck you say. You’re not from the South, are you?

JMP July 20, 2010 at 9:17 am

Today is July 20. What the hell is Georgia doing having a primary now? Primary season is long, long over. Hell, remember the Presidential primaries in 2008? Most were in February, then they were spread out over the spring, but by late July it was almost convention time. What the fuck are states doing having midterm primaries at a different time of year than the Presidentials? And yet, there’s some that still haven’t had theirs – I’m looking at you, Arizona.

biscuits July 20, 2010 at 9:30 am

Aah for the record, people in WV don’t really cook meth as much as places like, say, Missouri – his occupation is more likely to be either selling prescription drugs or stealing the copper wires out of telephone poles. Cheers!

gurukalehuru July 20, 2010 at 9:31 am

Go, Georgia baggers! Keep fucking that donkey.

hoosiermama July 20, 2010 at 9:33 am

It’s not “hillbillies,” Josh, it’s “Appalachian Americans.” I expected better from you.

m_supercomputer July 20, 2010 at 9:36 am

Oh, how could you forget Georgia’s amazing THE OX? (…I assume he’s still running, and hasn’t been caught in a barnyard sex scandal or something.)

weejee July 20, 2010 at 9:46 am

[re=621079]Limeylizzie[/re]: As I look out over the fruited plains of America

The plains have caught teh ghey? Who knew?? Whose next, the hillbillies????

Take me home country roads.

JMP July 20, 2010 at 9:49 am

[re=621098]m_supercomputer[/re]: Now, barnyard sex would not be a scandal there, when you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.

Oblios Cap July 20, 2010 at 9:50 am

[re=621080]Chernobyl Soup[/re]:

Maybe not in GA, but otherwise that’s not true.

Potater July 20, 2010 at 9:52 am

Interestingly enough, this picture comes up when one uses the Google Machines to search for “Carte Goodwin”

http://hippiekiller.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/dick.jpg

I’m not objecting.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith July 20, 2010 at 10:00 am

[re=621098]m_supercomputer[/re]: Oh yes, that cretin is still in the race. It’s a race to the bottom between Oxendine and Karen Handel to see which one can whip the Tea Baggers up into a furor of morbidly obese rage. Handel seems to be pulling ahead, but there has been some grumbling amongst the ‘tards because she used to be pro-killin’(and eatin’)baby fetuses. King Roy will wipe the floor with either one come November.

norbizness July 20, 2010 at 10:36 am

[re=621097]hoosiermama[/re]:

Hibbert: Yes, I remember Bart’s birth well. You don’t forget a thing like… Siamese twins!

Lisa: I believe they prefer to be called “conjoined twins”.

Hibbert: And Hillbillies prefer to be called “sons of the soil”. But it ain’t gonna happen.

OzoneTom July 20, 2010 at 11:16 am

The rest of that comic strip showed how the extension of unemployment benefits keeps people from seeking employment!

S.Luggo July 20, 2010 at 1:37 pm

After the Kagan vote, Orrin Hatch will introduce a resolution to throw the Jew down the well.

S.Luggo July 20, 2010 at 1:45 pm

In other news, Teabaggers out Obama’s black radicalism:
http://tinyurl.com/32zes89

Chet Kincaid July 20, 2010 at 1:55 pm

So in the cartoon, that’s Olympia Snowe on the right?

MsQuasimodo July 20, 2010 at 5:23 pm

[re=621148]norbizness[/re]: “And Hillbillies prefer to be called ‘sons of the soil.’ ”

I thought that was “sons of the swill.”

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