it's morning in america

Hillbillies To Rescue America’s Unemployed

  • Heck, no, you know everyone around here just makes methWith handsome devil Carte Goodwin scheduled to be sworn in as Robert Byrd’s seat-warming replacement sometime today, Democrats (plus the reliable communist ladies from Maine) should be able to break the Republican filibuster and get that lucrative government money flowing to the unemployed again, huzzah! Plus they plan to spend the whole midterm campaigning telling the millions of jobless that John Boehner personally kept their checks in his office so that they couldn’t be mailed out. [NYDN]
  • Speaking of West Virginia, who will win/run for the Robert Byrd Memorial Waste Processing Plant and Senate Seat? Nate Silver, with whom you had a torrid Internet affair in the summer and fall of 2008, and whom you still remember fondly, discusses the possibilities. [538]
  • The Senate Judiciary Committee’s vote on Elena Kagan’s nomination will happen today. It will be as boring as the rest of the whole process has been so far. [UPI]
  • Georgia is having its primary today, for governor and a bunch of other stuff! Is anything funny happening there? We haven’t really been keeping track. [AP]
  • The U.S. and South Korea will be holding a series of big military exercises in the Sea of Japan as a “first step in deterring North Korea,” a phrase that is not at all terrifying. [NYT]
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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

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30 comments

  1. Way Cool Larry

    surely there’s some inbred redneck reactionary heehaw in the GA elections we can laugh at? If not– what is this world coming to???

  2. TJBeck

    If Rod Blagojevich doesn’t get at least an interview for the WV seat, there is something seriously wrong with our nation.

  3. norbizness

    That must have been the series where Snuffy Smith had his head cracked open by the coal bosses’ hired goons.

  4. TJBeck

    [re=621067]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I’m searching youtube for “Georgia tea party candidate”

  5. TJBeck

    OK, so far the funniest guy I’ve found is Jody Hice. He’s got one of the world’s greatest web site splash images at http://www.jodyhice.com/, and he’s running a billboard attacking Obama using hammer and sickle logos, but the lack of hitlers in the billboard indicates he’s a little too centrist for my taste.

  6. Monsieur Grumpe

    I can’t believe Snuffy Smith is still around. Does he still protect his still with a shotgun? Loweezy was kind of hot.

  7. Limeylizzie

    [re=621075]TJBeck[/re]: I took a peak at Dr.Jody Hice and he has many fine Americans supporting him, including that adorable Tom Tancredo, but I liked this man from some Tea Party group…

    “As I look out over the fruited plains of America I see “abuses and usurpations” to the U.S. Constitution which have become “destructive to these ends” as written by our Framers. I seek to endorse a man who fears God, reveres the Judeo-Christian heritage of our nation, is a Madisonian constitutionalist and desires to serve as a citizen legislator and not a lifelong professional politician.

    Only one man running for the 7th U.S. Congressional District of Georgia meets my criteria. His name is Jody Hice. Twice Jody has stood in the national public policy arena and has been battle tested by fire first with his defense of the “Ten Commandments” in Barrow County and second with his IRS challenge of “Pulpit Freedom Sunday”. Our Framers mutually pledged their Lives, Fortunes and Sacred Honor. Jody Hice is a man of that measure.

  8. Chernobyl Soup

    [re=621075]TJBeck[/re]: There has never, in the history of the world, been a heterosexual male named Jody. No way is that guy going to win in Georgia.

  9. Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    I just voted for Roy Barnes in the Ga primary. Our primary has not been nearly as interesting as the one in Alabama. However, a few months back there was that story here on the Wonkette about the shitkicker who fucked his donkey and was running as a Republican for Governor. Somehow he did not make it on the ballot.

  10. TJBeck

    [re=621075]TJBeck[/re]:

    This vid has some Tim James-esque “wandering around an empty mansion” potential, with a much more pretentious and awesome soundtrack, but eventually he stops walking and just stands there about to sex up an original copy of the constitution. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3tSbldg7K0

    I’m very worried for those chickens in this shoot’em’up gun rights vid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2MnYMHBvR8

    All in all, though, not much more than standard Tea Party crap.

  11. Bubberella

    [re=621080]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: The heck you say. You’re not from the South, are you?

  12. JMP

    Today is July 20. What the hell is Georgia doing having a primary now? Primary season is long, long over. Hell, remember the Presidential primaries in 2008? Most were in February, then they were spread out over the spring, but by late July it was almost convention time. What the fuck are states doing having midterm primaries at a different time of year than the Presidentials? And yet, there’s some that still haven’t had theirs – I’m looking at you, Arizona.

  13. biscuits

    Aah for the record, people in WV don’t really cook meth as much as places like, say, Missouri – his occupation is more likely to be either selling prescription drugs or stealing the copper wires out of telephone poles. Cheers!

  14. hoosiermama

    It’s not “hillbillies,” Josh, it’s “Appalachian Americans.” I expected better from you.

  15. m_supercomputer

    Oh, how could you forget Georgia’s amazing THE OX? (…I assume he’s still running, and hasn’t been caught in a barnyard sex scandal or something.)

  16. weejee

    [re=621079]Limeylizzie[/re]: As I look out over the fruited plains of America

    The plains have caught teh ghey? Who knew?? Whose next, the hillbillies????

    Take me home country roads.

  17. JMP

    [re=621098]m_supercomputer[/re]: Now, barnyard sex would not be a scandal there, when you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.

  18. Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    [re=621098]m_supercomputer[/re]: Oh yes, that cretin is still in the race. It’s a race to the bottom between Oxendine and Karen Handel to see which one can whip the Tea Baggers up into a furor of morbidly obese rage. Handel seems to be pulling ahead, but there has been some grumbling amongst the ‘tards because she used to be pro-killin’(and eatin’)baby fetuses. King Roy will wipe the floor with either one come November.

  19. norbizness

    [re=621097]hoosiermama[/re]:

    Hibbert: Yes, I remember Bart’s birth well. You don’t forget a thing like… Siamese twins!

    Lisa: I believe they prefer to be called “conjoined twins”.

    Hibbert: And Hillbillies prefer to be called “sons of the soil”. But it ain’t gonna happen.

  20. OzoneTom

    The rest of that comic strip showed how the extension of unemployment benefits keeps people from seeking employment!

  21. S.Luggo

    After the Kagan vote, Orrin Hatch will introduce a resolution to throw the Jew down the well.

  22. MsQuasimodo

    [re=621148]norbizness[/re]: “And Hillbillies prefer to be called ‘sons of the soil.’ ”

    I thought that was “sons of the swill.”

Comments are closed.