Washingtonians are borderline alcoholics. We welcome this fun fact with open arms because drinking is fun, helps DC’s economy, and makes everyone look so pretty. But here we have something new: Did you know that Washingtonians secretly wish they drank more as children? That every time they successfully hula-hooped or passed 100 on skip-it they were rewarded with a shot of vodka? Why else then would DC restaurants insist upon adding alcohol to the most benign of childhood treats?
Restaurants are fixated on returning to the simple days when we were children and we did not have Things To Do. But the restaurants are adding alcohol, because while our childhoods were grand, we are no longer children and can now legally drink as much as we want. If you wish your childhood involved more boozing, try:
- Popsicles: Potenza is adding alcohol (Italian Vodka and Prosecco) to juice and freezing it to a stick — a concoction you may fondly remember from your childhood as a popsicle. They are serving three different varieties of these frozen cocktails, priced at $5 each. [Potenza]
- Milkshakes: Ted’s Bulletin is adding alcohol to milkshakes and they’ve even come up with a scandalous name for their boozy-concoctions: adult milkshakes. Flavors include the Tequila Sunrise, Spiked Thai Coffee, and Bailey’s Caramel Macchiato. $8. [Ted’s Bulletin]
- Root Beer Floats: As a child you probably felt so cool when you got to have a root beer float. Well, now you can have a root beer float with real beer, just like all the adults probably didn’t because beer and ice cream don’t necessarily sound like the best mix at all. But the nice folks at Againn swear it works, and are serving beer floats made with Guinness and Vanilla or Stout ice cream. $9. [Againn]
- Sno-Cones: Art and Soul is offering sno-cone cocktails that aren’t quite like the sno-cones of your youth: They are made with things like “African nectar tea” and “smoked black salt” and yes, you will feel buzzed after eating/drinking one. They are $12, or $6 during happy hour, which is 4-7PM Monday through Thursday. [Art and Soul]
- Slushies: So what if you’ve been making vodka slushies since high school, this refreshing treat is now available for purchase at Estadio, a super swanky new small places spot on 14th Street NW where bathroom sexytime is more than encouraged. [Estadio]
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