logicburglar

Dumb Minnesotans Want ‘Good Schools’ Instead of Bags of Money Apparently


Oooh, it’s her SECOND ad! This is a major event! Yes, Margaret Anderson Kelliher is the Democratic (“DFL” in Minnesota’s Canadian speak) endorsed candidate for governor of Minnesota, and as you can see from this ad, she is running against Tim Pawlenty, future president of us all. Except Tim Pawlenty is not running for governor, because he wants to be unemployed like Sarah Palin. But even more confusing is this drive-thru conceit. Why don’t these evil Minnesotans want the bags of money this place is giving out? Are they rich elitists?

The menu clearly lists the “SPECIAL INTEREST SPECIAL” as costing only $6.99. Are these people insane? You pay $6.99 for a bag full of stacks of hundred-dollar bills? WHO WOULD NOT DO THIS? This advertisement is meant only to mock semi- or un-employed recent college graduates such as your afternoon editor, surely.

Young people such as the guy in the blue polo are not interested in things like good schools or jobs, unlike old people. They only want hamburgers from their government! And they are in luck, as that is a thing on this menu. Yet they are still not allowed to get hamburgers because this place closes in the middle of the day? Huh?

Why does Margaret Anderson Kelliher hate young people and logic so much? [YouTube via Wonkette operative "christian u."]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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24 comments

  1. gurukalehuru

    She seems horribly sane, which is actually the norm in Minnesota. Because it is the state of Jesse Ventura, Norm Coleman, Michelle Bachmann and, from the left, our super cool American from menory drawing Al Franken, we tend to forget that it is also the state of Garrison Keillor.

  2. JMP

    I do like the “fix our bridges” slam. The sad thing is, Pawlenty’s probably the most reasonable of the likely Republican 2012 candidates; he’s still completely ridiculous, but compared to the rest..

  3. slappypaddy

    those people need to park their cars, turn off the engines, waddle their fat asses into the place, and buy… what? that political person said she’s going to serve them. will she cook them first? and one of them asked for a school, but the political person offered a bridge. this political stuff makes no sense.

  4. Gorillionaire

    She seems well grounded, attractive, and sane. Why the hell is she running for office?

  5. saralovesyou

    [re=620538]V572625694[/re]: The Minnesota accent was transferred to that region with some relocation of people back in the 1930s. http://www.slate.com/id/2201318/

    What I’m saying is that she stole our damned accent. And now we’re associated with that jackassery.

  6. Ducksworthy

    [re=620598]saralovesyou[/re]: I don’t buy it. I know she got her accent from Marge Gunderson in Fargo which is actually mostly in Bemidji but ends in an abandoned motel in Bismarck. Nobody in Alaska talks like that. The trailer trash in Wasilla are from Oklahoma.

  7. President Beeblebrox

    Candidates who run on their first names should be kicked off the ballot on principal. See, e.g., “Lamar!” Alexander For President ’00.

  8. martinette

    All the food at Pawlenty’s is lukewarm and unseasoned. They don’ have a “happy” meal, just sort of a “doing ok” meal. On the plus side, go ahead and spill as much coffee on your lap as you like.

  9. just pixels

    I ordered the bag of money at Pawlenty’s once. Let me emphasize the “once”. The bills were limp with a “dead white guy” flavor. I actually couldn’t finish and gave my leftovers to the local bridge club. Being nouveau riche was not as satisfying as it looks on tee vee.

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