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  • At least I am not a turtle on fire!Seepage and “undetermined anomalies at the well head” are being reported during the extended test phase of this fancy new wondercap. There are no pictures of this legendary seepage but the mere mention of the word is reminding everyone of watching uncomfortable Depends commercials with their grandparents. The Coast Guard is going to let BP keep the cap on anyway, for some reason. [New Orleans Times Picayune]
  • The fancy new wondercap was designed by the latest Joe the Plumber to take this country by storm. Soon he’ll be running for president and getting paid by people to blog about Israel and Palestine. [Christian Science Monitor]
  • Read Thad Allen’s latest letter to BP’s Chief Managing Director Bob Dudley. Allen doen’t like it when you don’t call to tell him you’ll be late for dinner. [Deepwater Horizon Response (PDF)]
  • It’s hard out there for a weatherman trying to track an oil slick the size of Texas. People hate you when you screw up the weather forecast but they really hate you when you tell them their beloved beach is going to be fucked FOREVER. [Mobile Press Register]
  • Being a shrimper sucked before the oil spill. Hell, it even sucked before Forrest Gump made it cool to be a shrimper on the Gulf of Mexico. [Miami Herald]
  • The Islands of Doctor Jindal are being constructed several miles off the coast of the Gulf of Mexico but they probably won’t do much except create some jobs for locals and make Jindal feel better. Of course the federal government said “no” to the idea and that made Louisiana want to do it that much more. [Washington Post]
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