The Right to Arm Bears: Ayn Rand In the 21st Century

by Benjamin Frisch

Ayn loves dem balls.
Remember the very beginning of Ayn’s adventures? Life was so simple then. Sure, she’s had her share of scraps since, but today she must face off against her most terrible opponent, an angry mama grizzly! Will she survive Allah’s ultimate Xtreme Challenge?!

National Geographic's Adventures In Blunderland.

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CrunchyKnee July 19, 2010 at 12:18 pm

Wee-wee’d up and LOLz, also too.

boy_howdy July 19, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Sarah’s eyebrows look like sperm. Why?

SayItWithWookies July 19, 2010 at 12:20 pm

I’m just going to pretend that handgun came out of some Videodrome-style hole in Sarah Palin’s stomach. Or else just hit myself in the head with a hammer until I’ve forgotten this little episode.

Tommmcatt July 19, 2010 at 12:20 pm

“Who are you, trash whore?”


Sleeves July 19, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Whose hand has slid under the Bikini Union!?

(God, eleven editors and contributors…I’m going to have a psychic Wonkgasm.)

ManchuCandidate July 19, 2010 at 12:22 pm

I was about to Refudiate my lunch when Sarah shoved her wrinkled hand down to her hoohah. I never though I’d ever be so happy to see a gun.

facehead July 19, 2010 at 12:22 pm

The madwoman jumped into their midst and pierced them with her eyes. “Whither is Reagan?” she cried; “I will tell you. We have killed him—you and I. All of us are his murderers. But how did we do this? How could we stop drinking the tea? What were we doing when we unshrugged this atlas from its sun? Do we smell nothing as yet of the divine decomposition? Republicans, too, decompose. Reagan is dead. Reagan remains dead. And we have killed him.”

irisheyesagain July 19, 2010 at 12:23 pm

[re=620250]boy_howdy[/re]: Todd has bad aim?

Brendan M. July 19, 2010 at 12:24 pm

If Sarah Palin is aware of obscure hack writers like Bill Shakespeare, I think she’d be aware of the truly great ones like Ayn Rand. You had me with the time-traveling and rivers of vomit, Mr. Frisch, but you’re starting to lose me…

freakishlystrong July 19, 2010 at 12:24 pm

That hand..nay, that PAW, reaching in to the bathing-suit bottom. Terrifying. It should be refuiated.

ithasatilde July 19, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Yeah, that’s about right.

CrunchyKnee July 19, 2010 at 12:30 pm

[re=620256]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yep, at least it wasn’t her “love gun.” (if a guy cannot quote Kiss in a comment about Palin, then when can a guy?)

Lascauxcaveman July 19, 2010 at 12:30 pm

[re=620256]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yep, mama grizz is now my new repulsive hero. But she’s put me in the dissonant position of kinda feeling sorry for Ayn. This is an extremely disturbing and disorienting comic. A schizophrenic fever dream in bold, brutish strokes of black ink.

I applaud your skill, Mr. Frisch.

sati demise July 19, 2010 at 12:31 pm

So, no GOPer has refudiated Obama for the state park drunken shooting spree in Washington state?
2 dead, 4 injured.

President Beeblebrox July 19, 2010 at 12:36 pm

funny thing is, Ayn Rand actually hated Reagan because he was anti-abortion and “statist”.

Radiotherapy July 19, 2010 at 12:36 pm

On next week’s episode: hookworms are not just some philosophical construct.

Monsieur Grumpe July 19, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Gripping + Riveting = Griveting

Way Cool Larry July 19, 2010 at 12:43 pm

best episode yet!

weejee July 19, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Nielist, did the SnoBillieGrifter pull pull a Glock dildo?

Well done again Intern Benjamin.

WhatTheHeck July 19, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Mr Benjamin Frisch, Pray tell what be that round orb which Ayn cradles in her right hand in the first frame?
Is it a terrorist bomb? A Russian Sputnik satellite? Or is it a crystal ball which reveals who the next coming of Saint Ronald wii be?
Or did that also fall out of Sarah’s bikini bottom?

Sleeves July 19, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Also “Awpooprascal” is an excellent minced pigeon oath.

( http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/eid/vol8no4/01-0273.htm )

Dashboard_Buddha July 19, 2010 at 12:59 pm

[re=620256]ManchuCandidate[/re]: hahaha – same here.

Hemp Dogbane July 19, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Coming Summer 2010: WWF Tag-Team Smackdown – Ayn Rand/Rose Wilder Lane vs. Sarah Palin/Michele Bachmann. Be there !

Neilist July 19, 2010 at 1:35 pm

[re=620300]weejee[/re]: Cooch Pistol, Weejee. Of a caliber — 305 mm Krupp — larger than found in most handguns, too.

weejee July 19, 2010 at 2:14 pm

[re=620386]Neilist[/re]: She keeps a Skoda down there????? SnowBarbie is of Czech manufacture? Who knew?

Jim89048 July 19, 2010 at 2:42 pm

[re=620256]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Me too. I was expecting her penis.

Freedom McAwesomePants July 19, 2010 at 2:48 pm

[re=620310]WhatTheHeck[/re]: This is a play on the title artwork for Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead In the original, it was supposed to merely be Howard Roark’s hand around the sun, which gave the appearance of him holding the sun. However, in this parody, Ayn Rand is actually holding the symbol for an atom.Look here is you want to see the original cover art.

GOPCrusher July 19, 2010 at 3:20 pm

[re=620275]sati demise[/re]: Now see, if everyone would have been packing heat, this disaster could have been avoided. Or exacerbated.

Bubberella July 19, 2010 at 5:32 pm

Masterful depiction of old lady hand. Well done.

Malketeer July 19, 2010 at 7:59 pm

Yikes. Haven’t seen a bikini bottom that disturbing since the cover of Amorica.

zhubajie July 20, 2010 at 12:09 am

She’s the hair to Ronald Reagan’s throne.

S.Luggo July 20, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Lisa Ann, your script is ready.

boy_howdy July 23, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Is there any chance we could see someone falling out of the copter or off a cliff? They could scream “YAAAAAAAAA!!!!!” all the way down, like in a Jack Chick tract.

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