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Ready for his closeupIf you’ve managed to stay interested in the whole long, sordid tale of John Edwards, with the cancer and the lies and the infidelity and the new-agers and the bastard children and the aides with creepy hero-worship complexes and the anilingus sex tapes, then you’re probably thinking, “Boy howdy, someone should make this into a movie! I’d sure watch that!” Well, it’s already been made into a movie, dummy, by John Edwards, when he was performing the aforementioned sex act on the aforementioned new ager, and then Andrew Young just showed it to journalists, to make them uncomfortable. But now it’s being cleaned up and made into a movie that you could take your grandmother to (if you hate her) by West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin, and the script is based on the book written Edwards victim/fall guy/slave Andrew Young. (The only person handsome/hateable enough to play Edwards is Tom Cruise, by the way.)

Sorkin is hot off writing a movie about the guy who founded Facebook, based on a book written by his ex-best friend who now hates his guts, so this seems like a logical next step. What drew him to the material?

“This is a first-hand account of an extraordinary story filled with motivations, decisions and consequences that would have lit Shakespeare up,” Sorkin said. “There’s much more to Andrew’s book than what has been reported and I’m grateful that he’s trusting me with it.”

It will be EXACTLY like Shakespeare, but with more ass-licking. Pray for a PG-13 rating. [Variety]

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