Fundraising fever: everybody’s CATCHING IT! People are giving Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee — none of whom hold elected office of any kind or have any power or influence — hundreds of thousands of dollars. These people are already pretty well off, too! Naturally, John Boehner, a real live elected official who holds an actual leadership position in the Republican Party, feels that he deserves a cut of this sweet action. Too bad for him that he’s a loser that nobody likes. That’s why he had to collect a six-digit sum from a group of people “affiliated” with a Florida retirement community, plus confused old ex-Cabinet secretaries like John Snow.
The Politc-O, a popular zine that Mike Allen photocopies and staples together and leaves piles of in popular Washington-area coffeehouses, wins the morning with this important scoop:
House Minority Leader John Boehner collected $570,300 from 20 donors — almost all of it in June — under a new political arm called the “Boehner for Speaker Committee,” according to a report filed Thursday with the Federal Election Commission.
The bulk of the money, $378,000, came from 10 people affiliated with the central Florida retirement community the Villages of Lake Sumter, including several members of a single family. And a pair of officials from the last Bush administration — John Snow, who was Treasury secretary; and Nick Calio, who was a White House congressional liaison — are also among the committee’s big-money donors.
…
The Villages of Lake Sumter CEO Gary Morse and his son Mark Morse, the company’s president, each gave $37,800, as did eight other family members and employees. Snow also “maxed out.” And Calio, now a lobbyist for Citigroup in Washington, gave $10,000.
So many questions unanswered here! Like, are some of these donors confused Olds who live at the “Villages,” and who thought they were writing a check that would ensure fewer beatings from Morse and his minions? Does John Snow live in “Fort Sumter,” sitting listlessly in a wheelchair and staring off into space, occasionally mumbling obscenity-laden diatribes about “that ratfucker Paulson and his fuckups”? Is “The Village Centre at Fort Sumtertowne Lakes” actually a compound full of trailers inhabited by a single extended polygamous family? Mike Allen must have accidentally left those pages of the story at Kinko’s, because all this version tells us is a lot of boring crap about campaign finance law and how you can use ludicrously named shells like the “Boehner for Speaker Committee” to get people to cough up tons of money.
Anyway, Boehner had to hassle these poor Floridian militiamen for cash because everyone hates him, according to a column by John Ellis in the Washington Times, a publication that apparently still exists. Ellis thinks that Boehner cannot succeed because he doesn’t have the charisma, the smarts, and the sheer ability to get his ugly face on TV that Newt Gingrich had. Ha ha, somebody has fond memories of the awful Newt Gingrich, who resigned in disgrace and failure after four years as Speaker! John Boehner should change his committee name to “At Least He’s Not Gingrich for Speaker Committee.” [Politico/Washington Times]
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What the people want in a speaker is the warmth, charm and undeniable authenticity of someone like, say, Nancy Pelosi.
Gingrich, Boehner? Gingrich, Boehner? Gingrich, Boehner?
No sir, don’t like either one.
These were probably the same confused Florida olds who accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan.
Say what you want about Newt, he had the advantage of a silly name that was still better than Boner.
“A sad, crying clown in an iron lung… I’ve always wanted one of those.”
Silly Josh! Everyone knows they love oranges in the Floridas.
Nice piece though. Gets the two nostrils full of coffee rating.
Guess the tanning industry has cut back on contributions since the Orange One was unable to stop Obama from enslaving the white man with his tanning tax.
I guess all the people at home OH-8 were tapped out from no jobs and not getting their gov’ment monies.
$570K will buy Boner lots of drinks and male luggage carriers on his pub crawls around DC.
[re=618681]V572625694[/re]: It’s true. Watching those Congressional leaders is like watching an Ionesco play. You can’t help but keep checking your watch.
Why can’t Congress be more like a TV show? Let’s say “House” – they josh around and fight with each other but ultimately get the job done. Although I’d leave out the part where they make things worse three times before finding an actual cure. The nice thing about “House” is it works for Dr. House or Speaker of the House.
Be it resolved, the cast of House shall run the House (except for almost killing us before each commercial).
We recently drove by the exit to The Villages on the highway. It suddenly got icy cold, started raining and we could feel the rightwing hate and stupid swirling around us. We got outta there quick-like.
Please never use another photo of Boner, other that that one either, as well, also.
Is this the same Villages where Beck always speaks? Repubs always get lots and lots of money down there. It’s a scary wingnut place, although when Beck unveiled his 1,000-year plan he had to have four bodyguards on stage.
“from the last Bush administration — John Snow, who was Treasury secretary”
As far as bragging rights go that’s right up there with “Kukitutoka Moosimilili general in the Rawandan genocide.”
[re=618691]weejee[/re]: I think this might be blood orange money.
[re=618699]Katydid[/re]: Let’s try that link again.
Beck’s four bodyguards, the rightwing hate at The Villages.
[re=618696]just pixels[/re]: Plus, if Congress were more like “House, MD,” all the congresscritters would be hot actors and have sex with each other in varying combinations. That could be a whole C-SPAN channel all by itself.
[re=618703]Katydid[/re]: After Beck blamed the Jews for killing Jeebus, he might not be even that popular in FL anymore.
$570k is a lot of Rob Roys, or whatever old orangeman cocktail the Boner swills.
That photo is fucking amazing. Who the fuck Photoshopped that ish?
Hundreds of descendants of wingnutters in the Villages are banging their head on their desks at their low paying office jobs thinking about their inheritance being frittered away on donations to dried up old leatherface…
Boehner likes a drink, so there go the fundamentalists.
He’s orange, so there go the racists.
He’s from some place North-y, so there go the secessionists.
All he’s left with are Floridah refugees and lobbyists. Of course, they account for 90% of the actual money in the United States, anyway, but still.
Oh, and Lake Sumter? Golly, y’all, you don’t think these people dream of past lives in Gray and Butternut, do you?
[re=618705]V572625694[/re]: And the vicodin, mustn’t forget the vicodin.
[re=618702]Radiotherapy[/re]: That’s the second two nostrils full of coffee in one post. I have to go back to work.
[re=618713]Jim89048[/re]: And 13. Those eyes…
[re=618698]freakishlystrong[/re]: I also drove by the Village recently, and saw a guy being chased by a weird giant white beachball type thing.
It’s easy to scam money off the olds. Ever watch late night telly? That’s when the republicans go to work with talk of getting our country back and getting rid of those damned illegals. Republicans are the Sham-Wow of political advertising.
That is my favorite picture of Boehner, ever.
[re=618710]Sara Benincasa[/re]: I was thinking the same thing….and Boehner is a more vibrant orange than the oompa loompas sans makeup, awesome!
He needs the money so when he dies his body can be crafted into a fine set of leather luggage.
Maybe teh Olds thought they were buying boner pills.
My parents lived 7 years there. They are leaving at the end of this month. Way too nuts for them so they are moving back home at the end of the month. Compared to The Villages, TN is like Haight-Ashbury.
[re=618706]V572625694[/re]: Don’t think The Villages is Jewish Florida, I think it’s much more Fundie Florida. Praise Jeebus and pass the ammunition.
My my, either Mr. Fruhlinger is on fire again, or I’m drunk before noon. (Mr. Fruhlinger is on fire again.)
The only reason I know about “The Villages” in Florida is that they had a series of rampant STD outbreaks there. Lots of oldsters gettin’ it on viagra style, and tradin’ STDs like baseball cards. Makes sense that they’d also want to give all their money to the orange guy.
[re=618718]WhatTheHeck[/re]: Or the televangelists, they have a very easy time scamming the olds. And come to think of it, they’re all Republicans and big-time supporters of conservative politicians, so they’ve got a got a good source for advice.
[re=618708]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: I have it on good information that that’s no photoshop. A
Ah, John Snow — filthy rich railroad executive who became part of Cerberus, the people who ran Chrysler some of the way into the ground. It’s nice to see that incompetent rich right-wing ideologues still consider Boehner one of their own.
If Snow has done for that retirement community what he did when he ran the CSX railroad, those Hoverrounds are probably derailing and spewing toxic waste every day.
[re=618710]Sara Benincasa[/re]: I have it on good information that that’s no photoshop. And that’s a-no-ther puzzle for you.
[re=618725]Sleeves[/re]: How about both?
$570K is some serious grifting, though, for an orange fuck that’s got nuttin’. If Palin goes down there in her leather skirt and flashes some cleavage, it’s an easy $5 mil.
[re=618738]JMP[/re]: I’d say “Working on it.” if I could.
Boehner raises money in conservative retirement community? Interesting, at all? No. News? No. Funny? No. Sorry, I calls them as I sees them.
America’s Dong Sticks Up for Boehner
Why do the really old folks always wanna screw up everything for us not as-old-as-them folks?
I thought we was their futures?
Why are the old folks always giving their monies to the craziest politicians? Why do they
eat cat fud so they can give their social security checks to the crying for Jeebus religious pink haired hucksters?
So many whys…
Well I need a dose of sanity, so I’m off to read what the lol kittehs ave been up to overnight.
[re=618745]Prommie[/re]: Would it interest you to know that he got most of his cash during a month of fury?
[re=618727]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Oye vey, they keep getting the VD. VD?
I’m Veek and Dizzy.
My parents stayed at the Villages a couple of times and I visited them to get out of the Northeastern March snow. The whole place is stocked with boozehounds.
[re=618703]Katydid[/re]: Wow, they’re *still* dragging out that “vast right-wing conspiracy” bullcrap? Wait, these are the people who still bring the powdered wigs out of storage. Carry On, Ye Neanderthals~
The Wonkette Boehner mugshot always weirds me out. He looks like he is getting unwanted buttsecks from the umpa lumpas. Which is probably true but doesn’t mean I want to know about it. Needs moar don’t as don’t tell.
These “donors” are the same people who respond to misspelled emails written in broken English from their long lost cousin in Niegeria. They will give out their Social Security numbers, date of birth and bank account numbers if you tell them they won the lottery.
Whenever I see that Boehner pic, I think at first that it’s Johnny Carson.
Everyone says Boehner is orange. I prefer the term “nicotine-stained”. I think it more accurately describes his skin tone.
So THAT’S what the people in the Villages are doing with their new reverse mortgage, that Fred Thompson told them to get.
Damn picture. It HURTS to accidentally snort your Diet Mt Dew.
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