The latest fundraising figures are in (and by “in,” we mean somebody called Alvin), and it appears a thousand dollars have come to Alvin Greene so far in his lack of a campaign. That’s 1/3500 the amount his opponent Jim DeMint has actively raised, which is an action out of step with The Way. It’s distressing, though, that people have donated any money to Alvin. It won’t hurt him, but those people need to realize one shouldn’t pluck one’s hair out for another.
But how are we to know the AP has reported this correctly? Perhaps Alvin was talking about the Ten Thousand Things, not the thousand dollars. If one converts the Ten Thousand Things into dollars, it does come out to $1,000. It also comes out to $77,528,091,548,705,108,915,407,895,109,815 and $0 and less than $0 and the opposite of $0 and the raccoon of $77,528,091,548,705,108,915,407,895,109,815. And how are we to know if the AP’s report of reality is truth?
Wonkette is a wire service. The AP is a jade carving. [Jade Carving]
{ 42 comments }
I don’t want to be mean…but doesn’t he look kinda like a parrot fish?
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images21/BloodParrotRedParrotFish1.jpg
A NICE parrot fish.
Alvin: Forget The Way and become a Mormon. See previous post.
What Need Have I For Cheddar, What Need Have I For Cash, I Am Dancing At The Feet Of My Alvin, All Is Bliss, All Is Bliss…
Also, the same minor league baseball team that played the game with no fans and tried to have vasectomy night is having Alvin Greene action figure night. I wish I still lived in South Carolina, I would volunteer for this guy’s campaign in a heartbeat.
A poll in Lhasa has Alvin up by 50 percentage points. Or it would, if almost everyone there weren’t an illiterate serf and thus unable to vote, as directed by the DL.
I have actually developed a good feeling about this guy. Maybe he’s the Forrest Gump of politics, but could he in fact be better than his esteemed opponent? Could this become the upset of the century? And, even if he did show dirty pictures to some college girl, I’m guessing he did so with completely well intentioned sincerity.
I don’t know if Alvin Greene is Tao, but he’s sure putting the rest of us through a koan.
You want it enough to put up, supposedly, $10,000.00 of your own money, which is all of your money, but not enough to actually do anything, because you don’t really care.
A thousand dollars,
means nothing to Al,
fuck yourself, PayPal.
He found a quarter in a pay phone. Does that count?
Wow, good for that guy. Now he can buy like 500 used radios to take to football practices.
10,0000
A round number this
containing four zeroes and a one
perfect for our binary democracy.
Without Benincasa, everything is desolate, and I am weary.
Alvin, the 1980′s called. They want their performance art back.
[re=618361]Prommie[/re]: I expect a similarly deflated, almost-too-tired-to-get-out-of-bed post about Bristol and Levi to appear like dreary clockwork in about 12 minutes.
[re=618361]Prommie[/re]: Check out her blebsite; it’s among the few working links on the link list here. Many happy moments there. Sara so funny
It is perfectly clear at this point that not only does DeMint have a damaged syphlitic brain, but he is also a dickwad at heart.
[re=618361]Prommie[/re]: She is pottymouth whore. Man up and go on.
[re=618337]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Should be easy, since he only needs one additional letter.
When will Jim DeMint come out and proclaim himself as the Grassroots Candidate?
[re=618368]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Soon a new Achewood will appear, I hope it will cheer me up.
What is the sound of one grand crapping?
Truth? Reality is all things and so no thing, therefor nothing can be objectively true since once it is limited by the tool of language, it looses it’s essential essence, it’s Tao and therefor becomes false.
The Alvin will rule South Carolina by not ruling it. He will avoid taking action through inaction by creating inaction with incompetence and defeat. His apparent boneheadedness will leave South Carolina a festering cess pit of Wingtard foolishness. In this manner instructing the other 49 states (well, 48 since Utah is basically a lost cause) the error of their way. This is the path of the Democratic Tao.
I sent him an uncarved block. But I don’t think you have to report those as campaign donations for some reason.
Money only has value because man values it. If one does not value money, its value becomes naught, yet infinite. $1000 is nothing to Warren Buffet, yet it is everything to a pauper. Thus Alvin Green is clearly the front runner, being the only candidate to have raised infinity.
I like this game! I’m going to start talking this way all the time!
It is not the spoon!
The multitude of men look satisfied and pleased; as if enjoying a
full banquet, as if mounted on a tower in spring. I alone seem
listless and still, my desires having as yet given no indication of
their presence. I am like an infant which has not yet smiled. I look
dejected and forlorn, as if I had no home to go to. The multitude of
men all have enough and to spare. I alone seem to have lost
everything. My mind is that of a stupid man; I am in a state of
chaos.
Ordinary men look bright and intelligent, while I alone seem to be
benighted. They look full of discrimination, while I alone am dull
and confused. I seem to be carried about as on the sea, drifting as
if I had nowhere to rest. All men have their spheres of action, while
I alone seem dull and incapable, like a rude borderer. (Thus) I alone
am different from other men, but I value the nursing-mother (the Tao).
Actually, I kinda like this as a campaign slogan:
“It is not the spoon, rather, the universe itself that bends. Vote Alvin!”
Is this the sound of one hand out?
[re=618374]dijetlo[/re]: You can’t actually know anything about the way but I’m pretty sure the teaching about suggests that is the opposite of the mental disorder of teabaggery. Not being able to know anything really does seem like the opposite of believing everything you think especially when what you think is a bunch of garbage screamed at you by Glenn Beck. Believing what you think is key to the sophistry of the tea party, as in “I think there’s WMD’s in Iraq, I believe there are and therefore they are. Kind of like Tinkerbell. If the children believe in her, she exists. Also, and understanding of the way would tend to make you a bit more humble about your opinions and less inclined to kill people who disagree with you, too.
I’d guess that $1,000 was contributed by the Colbert Report for exclusive rights to Alvin’s story.
Jeff Gannon must be looking at this guy and smiting his own forehead. THAT’S FREE MONEY RIGHT THERE!
[re=618372]Prommie[/re]: Jesus H I hope so. I keep going back and seeing that same snippet of cock-shaft. One of these times my boss will be walking by. It is in these dark times that I fear this is the strip where he will leave us hanging forever.
Those who know the way do not speak of it. Those who speak of the way do not know it. Therefore, anyone who posts on this thread is an idiot. Oops…
[re=618333]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]:Ha! That made me lol.
I normally thinks all Wonketeers is hi-lariously funny, but this whole Al Greene=daoist monk is just unfunny. It seems like some sort avoidance mechanism, because he’s unavoidably unsmart. And I don’t know nothing ’bout chakras, Kabbalah, and bukkake theater, so it don’t make me laugh.
Your Friend,
Sgt. Biyatch
[re=618570]Sgt. Biyatch[/re]:
Chakras, Kabbalah and bukkake theater are not the Way.
The Alvin laughs at your ignorance.
You know, if all press is really good press, Greene has this baby locked up.
Best democratic candidate since Lloyd Bentsen.
If a grand falls in forest and no one else is there to pick it up, does Alvin have to report it as a campaign contribution?
I’ve been wrong before but, I think he’s going to win.
ALVIN GREENE FOR PRESIDENT!
[re=618387]doxastic[/re]: “while I alone am dull and confused”
Wow! I thought it wuz me.
Lubs,
Alvin Greene
Comments on this entry are closed.