Workers are excavating the World Trade Center site (Not done yet? What is this, union labor?), and on Tuesday, they found a giant 18th-century ship stuck in there. How? Well, back then terrorists were called “pirates.” (Evil liberal Hollywood has made empathize with pirates, but they were TERRORISTS OF THE SEAS.) And these pirates hated nothing more than our freedom (for white English male property owners)! So they drove their ship up Manhattan and right into the side of the Dutch East Indian Company Worlde Trade Centre.
Is that the only explanation? Perhaps the 9/11 terrorists brought a giant old ship with them on the planes they hijacked. They used to let you bring anything on an airplane.
Anyway, freedom is never free, even in colonial times, as we see here. And pirates are scum. A second ship hasn’t been found, so we can assume some patriots took their ship back from the pirate hijackers and rammed it into the middle of William Penn’s colony.
Archaeologists dug up this ship and now will probably want the government to pay them for the ye olde aesethma they contracted. [NYT]
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Good thing it wasn’t a mosque.
Hey if you’re gunna fuck around for ten years might as well just keep diggin. Go for the velociraptor skeleton – only 100 feet down, trilobites 300.
That Lego thing is…scary. Is that an octopus upon the tippy-top. And what’s next, a massive Titanic ripping asunder with frozen corpses afloat in the flotsam?
Fred Thompson’s high school class ring is down there somewhere, too.
“In the middle of tomorrow, a great ribbed ghost has emerged from a distant yesterday.”
WHAT?!?!?
[re=618004]V572625694[/re]: But hey, 18th Century was “Shores of Tripoli” times when we signed a treaty saying “…the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.” If that ain’t Muslin, don’t know what iz.
[re=618010]jus_wonderin[/re]: Is that an octopus upon the tippy-top
Yes, it’s Paul. And based on his record, the tower on the right is about to get fucked up good.
Allah Akbarrrrrrrrrrrrrh
Of course, many people believe that the pirate attack was an inside job, organized by the President in order so he could start a war over spices with the Dutch.
Nice Lego representation of Dubya hitting the trifecta — that must be part of his presidential liberry.
It’s a part of Lego’s new “Lego Disasters(TM)” series – other kits in the series include:
“Haiti Earthquake”, “Pearl Harbor”, “2008 GOP Presidential Campaign”….
Duh, it’s Cheney’s pirate ship. This was all explained in “Loose Change.”
Oh yeah, the pirates did it. Sure. Wake up, sheeple. It was an inside job, courtesy of King George.
[re=618023]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “Arrr!” can mean, variously, “yes,” “I agree,”…”That was a clever remark you just made.”"
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howto.html
[re=618004]V572625694[/re]: [re=618023]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
ty
The Anglo-Dutch War was an inside job.
I’m still not sure how a 32-foot vessel qualifies as a “ship,” even in the 18th century. That there is a boat. This was obviously the first, failed attempt to ram a boat into the basement of the Worlde Trade Centre, followed up eight years later by a successful attack involving two hijacked galleons.
[re=618034]13ollocks To The Rules[/re]: LOL. 2008 GOP Presidential Campaign.
–
Does it have a pop-up Palin that was tucked neatly into a far-flung corner of the box? That would be the piece I would step on, barefoot and in the dark, at 2:30 AM making my way to pee? Fark those pieces.
“No, no, no. I say E-dam America!”
If only Gov. George Clinton had read the threat assessment “Pirates determined to use boats, strike harbor” the month prior.
[re=618010]jus_wonderin[/re]: I think it’s lame-o representation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
That thing’s been parked in lower Manhattan for what, 200 years? Captain Ahab’s gonna have to do some serious fuckin’ whaling to pay off all those parking tickets.
Oh, pooh, I should RFTA better to note that they have excavated only half to a third of the ship. Hmph.
Let’s just hope they don’t find a Native American Burial Ground. Then we’d never get the Mosque built.
[re=618062]doxastic[/re]: Afterwards, the town criers had a field day with the fact that Clinton was notified of the disaster while reading “Thy Pet Goate” in a one room schoolhouse.
[re=618060]jus_wonderin[/re]: Interestingly enough, the little Palin figure had a manufacturing defect that prevented it from “clicking” properly with the other figures. Unfortunately, despite a vigorous recall, those annoying little Palins are turning up everywhere.
You betcha.
[re=618064]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
They must be at the Johnny Deppth.
[re=618075]user-of-owls[/re]: I’m pretty sure Bill was reading “Heavye Petting with Goates” behind the schoolhouse….
Well that’s fucking great. Now we’re gonna have to take our shoes off before boarding the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride.
[re=618080]proudgrampa[/re]: Touched by His Noodly Appendage
–
If I am not mistaken, the aired Sundays after Murder, He Wrought?
[re=618023]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yo ho-ho! Nice junk!
[re=618075]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=618082]13ollocks To The Rules[/re]: You’re both wrong — he was reading O Goatse! My Goatse!
Perfect analogy! Of course, pirates were motivated by profit, indicating rationality, and were not in the thrall of an insane death cult, but otherwise spot on!
Hoffa?
[re=618103]CessnaDriver[/re]: Skylab?
Sounds like a lost Lost episode.
[re=618108]user-of-owls[/re]: I wonder if Cap’n Hook is down there.
[re=618093]Extemporanus[/re]: he was reading O Goatse! My Goatse!
Which, of course, left the city wide open to attack.
Great now we find that 9/11 was one big extended Scooby-Doo episode.
[re=618095]The cheese fron under Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Actually, since they were indoctrinated to believe they would be rewarded in the next world, their actions were “rational.”
[re=618056]Lazy Media[/re]: Look – it’s the neilist of boats
[re=618114]Radiotherapy[/re]: If he is, the corpse must be pretty worm-ridden by now.
Verily, the mountains of Ararat…
[re=618135]fatherfigure[/re]: Oh shit! The PLO was in on it too?!
Wait a minute…a ship? Are you sure it wasn’t a building manned by Chartered Accountants?
I heard they just found Red Beard’s passport in pristine condition.
So in your mind insanity = rationality, hmmm, that explains a lot.
[re=618075]user-of-owls[/re]: Conspiracy theorists point out that the van Rensselaers were able to return to Rotterdam despite the “no sail zone” declared for the Eastern seaboard.
That boat is so old, we need Dutch Cleanser.
[re=618119]user-of-owls[/re]: Arrr! They be tryin’ to get their hands on our booty!
[re=618135]fatherfigure[/re]: The buildings went down two by two…
[re=618161]Extemporanus[/re]: Ouch.
Now then, pirates = terrorists is about the silliest thing you can say. True, while pirates were always brutal and often quite organized, they were simply in it for the money, not politically involved. Common thieves; just uncommonly motivated and well equipped.
It’s all in a very insightful ‘think piece’ I read recently in The Hollywood Reporter or Entertainment Weekly or US News and World Report, or somesuch.
Hey Jack, finally bringing the good Stuef! This is your funniest post yet.
[re=618010]jus_wonderin[/re]: I’m pretty sure it’s Cthulhu, risen from his undersea temple island to perch, gargoyle-like, at the top of the towers.
From the story:
“For that reason, Doug Mackey was grateful for the rainfall. “If the sun had been out,” he said, “the wood would already have started to fall apart.””
“What wood?”
“From the ship”
“Would what?”
“Fall apart”
“It would?”
“It would”
“The wood would?”
[re=618061]user-of-owls[/re]: stop, yer killin me!
[re=618297]Liquid[/re]: Ok, that would explain the octopussy thingy, but what has the other tower got strapped on?
Looks to me like the Coneheads’ marital aid
It could also be that the WTC was built on man-made island land, that they took garbage fill and created the land underneath the WTC, and consequently “ground zero” was actually under water in the 18th century, and the 19th century, and 20th century, until about 1966.
Still, I can’t wait for Weekly World News to have a story about how it was Blackbeard’s Ghost that was seen on a window in a shot of the terror attack.
Oh, crap. I just wrote a Weekly World News story.
Maybe it is like the Black Rock from (a href=”http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/Black_Rock”>Lost.
I must have that Lego set.
[re=618297]Liquid[/re]: Thanks, now I have Metallica in my head …
Hybrid children watch the sea,
Pray for Father roaming free.
Motivated by profit. They worked for BP?
[re=618323]Geogre[/re]: Yeah, they basically found the same kind of shit when they dismantled the Bayshore Freeway in SF.
[re=618010]jus_wonderin[/re]:
It’s actually Paul the German psychic octopus. I wonder what he is predicting here.
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