Here is Rep. Sue Myrick (R-NC), giving balance to what must have been a not crazy enough newscast on Fox. Hezbollah, the Lebanon militants, are learning Spanish in Venezuela and then driving up the imaginary freeway into Costa Rica and up to the Rio Grande, where they’re passing off as simple Mexican illegal immigrants.
Then they pick citrus for a while in Flordia or something? BUT THEN they plan “Israel-like car bombings of Mexican/USA border personnel or National Guard units,” she says, because that is what terrorists hate most about America, our border patrol. No, the REAL Mexicans do not hate it. The pretend Hezbollah Mexicans do, you see. [TPM]
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{ 132 comments }
This country is, I am sorry to report, too stupid to survive.
Sweet holy 6-pound baby Jeebus, I thought August was the silly season.
What Sue can’t tell us is that these Hezbollah Messicans have a further goal – they will travel from gun show to gun show selling “art” and trying to infiltrate the ranks of NOBama bumper-sticker vendors, because…maybe they miss being around armed radical nuts? Beats me.
What I can’t understand is how people who encounter Brian Kilmeade in any context can restrain themselves from punching him in the face.
“Sue Myrick”: wasn’t she a transsexual made up by Gore Vidal?
So we need to invade Venezuela to stop the Muslim menace? Why don’t we take some Hispanics (legal or otherwise) and teach them Arabic and have them infiltrate the Middle East to get the bad guys?
Wait- why are the pretending to be Mexican? They’re not going to fool any fellow illegal Mexican immigrants and the Border Patrol/Arizona citizens/Minutemen just shoot anyone who is slightly brown.
Got to love flashing “TERROR THREAT” imprimatur Fox runs throughout the report.
“Citizenship?”
“I’m Mexican. Or Spanish!…Latin?”
“Come with me, please.”
Movement conservatism’s most lasting achievement is the mainstreaming of the insane.
Hey I heard Messicans in hollywood r the ones playing Arabs. So this devious plot obviously started long before Sue Myric happened upon it.
‘Scusies, but they were talkin’ ’bout incidents that took place in 2005 and 2006. Eh, who was Prez and who controlled both houses of Congress back then? Oh yeah, those librual Repubicans.
And what’s with her repeated grimaces? Are her panties getting in a bunch?
Needs more Vuvuzela …
To be fair, my Bengali fiance does get mistaken for Mexican whenever we go for tacos. I personally, get a kick out of it. He does not. We are not vacationing in Arizona anytime soon.
I suspect that my landscaper is Hezbollah but his name is ‘Israel’ so I’m really confused.
[re=617408]Lucidamente[/re]: You’re thinking of Sue Mydick.
Goddamm, it took the guy who is not Steve Doocy a real fucking long time to grasp the implications of Hez-BOWL-a not taking the time to learn the right Spanish pronounciations to fool our less linguistically-minded border guards.
Guard: Hold it right there, pardner. Do you have brown o-joes or o-hoes???
Fox News: We Give More Stupid In One Minute Than MSNBC Gives In An Entire Day!
Wasn’t she the idiot who saw a Muslin conspiracy among convenience store clerks and a plot to infiltrate Terrists into the House intern pool? Or was that some other Repubican Fucktard.
Today I learned that both Carolinas and Iowa are fucking insane.
It looks like the Congresswoman got her anti-Mexican racist paranoia mixed in with her anti-Arab racist paranoia, and decided she liked the taste they made together.
That Sue Myrick is quite the sleuth! She should get a lot more attention than she does. I mean a LOT more attention than she does. In fact, she should be the laughing-stock of the whole fucking PLANET.
um, sí … Yo soy un mexicano, me encanta um, choresh y taadik, y puedo cantar muchas canciones de Googoosh… our lady of guadelupe akhbar… marg bar calderon… soy un mexicano, claro?
For yer readin’ pleasure:
http://myrick.house.gov/index.cfm?sectionid=22§iontree=21,22&itemid=558
Myrick Calls For Taskforce to Investigate Presence of Hezbollah on the US Southern Border
Is she the Lizoid or is it a Lizoid conspiracy.
Note to stupid ass brain dead mouth breathing white goobers like Sue here):
Tinted peoples don’t look alike and aren’t fucking morons.
Messicans know who is Messican (same applies to any ethnic group for that matter) or not so Messican looking Ayrabs ain’t gonna fool them with Arabic sounding Messicano. And if they are, it’s designed to fool you white dumbfuck goobers who are too fucking dumb/oblivious to tell the difference.
Venezfuckinguela? Really? That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to. I gotta hand it to Hezbollah, they put a ton of effort into their fiendish plots.
tc;dw (Too Crazy, Didn’t Watch)
In fact, I have it on good authority that Hezbollah has already effectively infiltrated that US using the corporate courtesans “Freedom works” and “Club for Growth” as vehicles to avoid our homeland defenses (blessed be their name) and are, as we speak, organizing a band of terrorists, quasi revolutionaries and fellow travelers who call themselves “tea party patriots” which are bent on overthrowing the democratically elected government of the United States and installing a junta comprised of Glenn Beck, A Rent-boy named Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell, Sara Palins defective zygote “Truck” and Zombie Ronald Reagan.
If I may interrupt this thread a moment, let me interject:
1) Jack, you are a pro. You keep tossing us these posts like so many hourly feedings of well-braised red meat.
2) Where are the posts shoehorned to relate to Bastille Day? As the sneaky Hezbollah-Mexicans of the EU, the French deserve their day on Wonkette, and we’d like to trot out our Franco-cliches.
Christ. Just last week, wasn’t it, we were told they were all carrying drugs? I was kinda warming up to that idea, but now this?
[re=617424]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I symphathize. I’m Puerto Rican, Indian, and 3/8ths white, and consequentially just ethnically ambiguous enough that I’m assumed to be whatever the most commonly ethnicity of “brown” is in a given area. When I went on vacay to Maui, even the locals assumed I was Hawaiian, and I’ve had more than one hot dog vender try to strike up a conversation with me in Arabic.
Truthfully, it’s a pretty neat ability, and it’d serve me well if I were a spy or something, but as it is, it really just means I have to avoid Arizona and Idaho and Congresswoman Sue Myrick at all costs, lest I get deported or sent to Gitmo or something.
It’s not a problem — we’ll figure out who the fake Mexican migrants are when they show up at the orchards during pomegranate picking season and they’re listening to such music as “El Corrido de Omar Khayyam.”
[re=617424]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: You’re engaged?
Congratulations, and here’s to many dusky babies.
I don’t understand how a Hezbollah-Messican can be a mojado. Don‘t they have magic carpets to ride over the Rio Grande and into the USA?
It’s okay, gringo. We all look alike to us too.
[re=617448]mumblyjoe[/re]: Oh, just to clarify: even though I’m an ethnically ambiguous brown guy, I am not part of Hezbollah. I swear.
¡Viva Hezbo la Raza!
Not Steve Doocy doesn’t know what to do when the show doesn’t involve the Hooters’ calendar girls.
This must be why we invaded Costa Rica!
[re=617454]mumblyjoe[/re]: You swear, huh? Pronounce something in Venezuelan, then we’ll see if you’re Hezbollah.
Me? I’m sitting here right now sewing zippers into the head holes on a bunch of ponchos. That way they can also be used as prayer rugs at the right time–right there in the desert. I hope to sell these at the border as these folks swim across the river. I will be disguised as an old white man cowboy type so the border patrol thinks I’m just helpin’ out garden my kuntry and such. Actually, the only cover I will need is a tan.
[re=617458]Extemporanus[/re]: I read it as, “Viva Lezbo la Raza,” and didn’t know why you were bringing up Obama’s two SCOTUS picks.
[re=617399]ThePuckStopsHere[/re]: I think I agree. What’s scary is not so much the fearmongering as her calculation that there is a significant audience for it. I’m moving to Sweden, where at least a man can do what he pleases, without the government breathing down his… oh never mind.
[re=617454]mumblyjoe[/re]: [re=617464]Katydid[/re]:
Even tougher, name some Venezuelan baseball stars playing in the Show.
[re=617417]Birdcrash[/re]: Win. That should be done up in needle point and hung on my office wall.
Dimes to dollars that more crazies have infiltrated Congress through the Republican Party than Hezbollahs have come into Amurrika through Messico.
Dick Cheney Alert – they’ve put a pump in this time.
But can ya prime a pump with bitter bile? More news at 11:00.
Let me see if I got this right. We have members of Hezbollah POSING as illegal immigrants. Ergo, they are legal immigrants? Huh.
What a maroon! (cf. Bugs Bunny)
[re=617431]JMP[/re]: Now all they need for the trifecta is New Black Panther Party NAACP Barack Obama X Farrakhan as a Venezuelan in Hollywood. Watch for it.
So, she’s giving the wingnuts another excuse to exercise their Second Amendment Rights by gunning down brown people crossing the border. Not only are they Messicans, but they could be Muslums too!
[re=617464]Katydid[/re]: o=========<0~BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Wait, you said Venezuelelan?? Never mind, then.
Dios Akbar! Finally, I have a reason to use my jalapeno-hummus recipe to bake her a nice fresh bag of dicks.
But they’re not racist.
[re=617481]weejee[/re]: I hope our torturer-in-chief is doing okay — at least through the end of the year so the old bastard is subject to inheritance tax.
Do ya think it was those pita bread tacos that tipped her off?
[re=617486]mumblyjoe[/re]: Ha! You fell into my clever, clever trap. Your personal info is on its way to the sainted Sue Myrick right now.
Go ahead and laugh at the FoxNews retardation, but right now there are 1 million TVs in every TV/appliance section of Walmart and Bank of American waiting area blasting this moronic horseshit.
So Hezbollah smuggles a spy through Mexico and he goes to Michigan? Do they need new Pike recipies in Lebanon?
[re=617399]ThePuckStopsHere[/re]: Pretty much–we’re now officially Fox News Nation. Now I know why the Chinese keep giving us money. Kind of like when you give a drunk more booze.
Ahem. As I mentioned a few weeks back on your Wonkette, this fucking idiot was also recently warning about the danger of Hezbollah sharing their tunnel-digging expertise with the Mexicans. I wouldn’t be surprised if Arizona caved in anyday now.
The intrepid agents of Hezbollah, having made the arduous journey up through South and Central America, and having got past the ever vigilant elite commandoes of the U.S. Customs and Border Protection, then proceed to hang out in front of the Lowes parking lot in Chula Vista California, on the off chance that someone in the U.S. intelligence community needs some tile grouting, drywall repair, or air conditioning duct insulation work.
There are so many unanswered questions here. I thought Hezbollah hated Israel? If they going to go through so much trouble to illegally cross a border, why not just cross the one Lebanon shares with Israel? Or why not go to Canada and learn Canadian and sneak across our much longer and sparsely-guarded northern border? What do they do when they get here? Poop E. coli on our lettuce?
That certainly makes more sense than just getting a passport and flying in on a plane without your Hezbollah ID card.
[re=617472]Katydid[/re]: As I understand it, Obama’s first pick had ties to Lezbo la Raza, but his second pick was an agent of the Homossad.
Has anyone seen her Psychological evalutation? What is she trying to hide by not producing the original??!
While we are on the topic of immigration America’s voice has posted some interesting violent crime data for Arizona.
Seems that in each and all arroyos and cacti patches in the boycotted Grand Canyon violent is down since 2002 except, cue the trumpets , the turf patrolled by that champion of the illegals, Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Yessiree, in Sheriff Joe’s turf violent crime is up 58%. But, but, he is the immigration fighter blessed by the sweet baby Jeebus. How can this be so??? I haz a confused, again & also too, but that is nothing new. This new law will be a major steamer.
¡Sí, quisiera mas baba gannouj, por favor!
So many signs she has the crazy eyes.
Sort of related, in Congress today members of a House Judiciary subcommittee
debated whether particular biblical passages argue for or against immigration reform.
Not surprisingly, “Texas Rep. Lamar Smith, the Judiciary Committee’s top Republican, repeatedly cited passages from the Bible in support of a stronger crackdown on illegal immigration.”
So we no longer even bother with the pretense of separation of church and state. Fuckers.
[re=617513]Dave J.[/re]: can you hummus a few bars of that
saladsong[re=617497]El Pinche[/re]: and hotel bar, elevator landing, restaurant, et al.
When you fuckin’ have to watch Fox ‘News” waiting for an elevator you know its total saturation.
Wait, I thought Hezbollah just had itself smuggled into the Gitmo-like ribcage of Dick Cheney! Abetted by librul doctors who want to destroy this country from *literally* within, one very sick patriot at a time:
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/07/cheney-has-heart-pump-implanted/1
Of course, it all makes sense now, all brown people look alike! So who’s to say whether they are Lebanese, Bengali, or even (fat chance) Mexican?
[re=617521]Katydid[/re]: Maybe I can get my blessed rep Jim McDermott to quote some scripture from Allen Ginsberg that is against. Smith quoted Romans, so Jim quoting Ginsberg would be from the ghey Greek perspective with some beat. Quid pro quo.
[re=617409]chascates[/re]: No need to we invade Venezuela to stop the Mooselim menace, Mate! You Yanks are heading them off at the pass right now in Costa Rrrrrrrica…
[re=617448]mumblyjoe[/re]: So then are you a Mooselim Terrrist or an Illegal Messikin?!? You Report, I’m the Decider!
[re=617430]CrunchyKnee[/re]: We smart Iowans have had to leave. Same for smart Republicans.
There’s always a worm in the bottom of the bottle.
You could put Dennis Kucenich and Sue Myrick next to each other, give them wee green jackets and little red pointed hats and voila! Living lawn gnomes!
[re=617534]zhubajie[/re]: The People’s Liberation Army of the People’s Republic of China, LLC owns the state of Iowa, also? I thought they merely owned the politicians there….
Despite what Fox thinks, the Mexican, especially the less educated ones in Mexico, hate the terrorists and strange people as much as republicans do. Hezbollah will not have an easy time in Mexico.
[re=617512]weejee[/re]: cue the trumpets
Ahem.
o=========<0~BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Okay, I’m done. For now.
[re=617512]weejee[/re]: bad linky, bad linky
try here.
So since when does Hezbollah plan attacks on American soil? We’re a little outside their area of operation, and this would be way outside of their M.O. But sure, all muslin terrorist organizations are the same, I guess!
[re=617512]weejee[/re]: The good people of Arizona spent most of the last decade thinking that a stste economy that consisted almost entirely of building McMansions in the desert was a fine and sustainable thing. There must be something in what little water they have.
[re=617408]Lucidamente[/re]: no . that was her mother .
Those Brownies do a eck of a job, obvs.
My local taqueria offers halal meats now. Just sayin’.
And falafel fried ice cream.
[re=617547]Mad Brahms[/re]: Hey Mate – a terrrist can dream, right?
[re=617409]chascates[/re]: we need to invade venezuela to steal their oil . which excuse shall we use ? pick from the menu please …..
[re=617521]Katydid[/re]: No surprise, Steve King had something to say about that and it was completely off-base and wacky. I guess I could have left out the part after Steve King had something to say and you would have deduced the rest.
(I always wondered how Timothy McVeigh got into this country.)
Yet, I gotta say it, those Hezbollah hotel housekeepers do a great job! And the guy who did the drywall in my garage is fantastic. Sure Hezbollah may destroy America and impose a rigid theocracy, but dag-nab-it we’ll have nice clean rooms and cheap, fresh produce. And that destroyed America with a rigid theocracy — been there, done that, called it Bush 43.
They are all brown skinned and that is all she sees!
since the feds wont protect us from the mexican-arab sand niggers from black kenya , sue has to be the paul revere of her time , but with an exciting dildo , not a horse .
This is all a distraction from Hezbollah’s real method of crossing our southern border:
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/chupacabras-mysterious-animals-spotted-texas/story?id=11165688
The Mooslins are shape-shifters!
[re=617547]Mad Brahms[/re]:
The people of Lebanon would forever live under the jackboot of oppression if not for Hezbollah!
http://www.lebanonpa.org
Take that South Carolina, owour retahded little brothah. We will not be outdone so easily, no Suh.
[re=617563]rmjag[/re]: The Sandbacks are comin’!1!!!!1!!! The Sandbacks are comin’1!1!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pardon me, if I may go off topic. CS Lewis might have been most famous for his works of fantasy, but I am concerned with a work of fiction here. The Silent Planet Trilogy. The science of Lewis wasn’t as sciencey as other SF writers (the spacecrafts motivation was an explosion in the aft end as I remember), but the heart was just so right on.
The 3rd book of the trilogy “That Hideous Strength” is about the planet earth. It starts out like a boardroom drama. Where these guys on this board are determined to cede a piece of land. Their determination, the games they play towards that end, and ultimately, their lack of understanding of just what their getting themselves into, remind me so much of the lead up to the Iraq invasion.
By the end of the book the conspirators are reduced to bodiless brains floating around in fluid and supported by mechanical means. As their plans fail the pointless sacrifice they’ve made of their lives (and their bodies) becomes unavoidably apparent. This reminds me of Cheney with a fake heart!
May that fucker live long enough to be imprisoned.
[re=617580]FlipOffResearch[/re]:
The explosions at the aft end were sciencey
Project Orion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Orion_%28nuclear_propulsion%29
Who knows? Cheney will be the guy who yells “I bet 300 Qualtoos on the fat one!”
[re=617581]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Dude, best fucking Star Treck references, evah!
[re=617580]FlipOffResearch[/re]: Thanks for taking this detour, man. Makes you wish this crazy broad and others like her would’ve stuck their noses in fucking Lord of the Rings instead of coming up with their own fan-fic made-up shit. (Or maybe they extrapolated the wrong message from Dune. Who the fuck knows where these nuts take their fucking cues from.)
[re=617581]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yes and no. While an explosion in the aft end could propel a spacecraft, I believe an explosion in the aft end of a spacecraft the size a small English country house powerful enough to propel the house to the planet Mars might crush the astronauts to death. Which coincidently is my problem with Kirk saying “warp 9 Sulu”
At any rate The Silent Planet is a good read. Check it out.
[re=617436]maven[/re]: Allah Guadalupe!, or [insert other insane shit].
[re=617541]mumblyjoe[/re]: Goooooooaaaalllllllllllahakhbarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!
[re=617561]just pixels[/re]: Teh Hezbollahhh is installing the Chinese drywall, see, the moldy kind? and it’s going to kill us? and they’re working with Putin to, uh, to… oh, fuck, kill me, please. Needz moar acute eye-crazies.
Speaking of gaddam furriners –
Happy Quatorze Juillet!!!!!!
Allons enfants de la Patrie
Le jour de gloire est arrivé….
[re=617593]Joshua Norton[/re]: Speak English, you Messican Terrrist!
[re=617591]WriteyWriterton[/re]: Oh geez, stop flailing about already. Here: Allah-u-TacoBar.
[re=617584]FlipOffResearch[/re]:
That’s why you use a bunch of smaller ones. Only problem is that the acceleration would only be around 1g to prevent the astronauts from being turned into strawberry jam. Orion was meant for putt putt, not warp zoom zoom. Until someone develops the fabled inertial damper, we’re stuck with putt putt.
[re=617595]user-of-owls[/re]:
Yoquiro Allah Akabar.
She has crazy eyes.
I’m in a good mood so I won’t watch that.
I have an in-law who, by dint of failing to take his anti-psychotic medication as prescribed, was apprehended by the Michigan State Police driving WELL over the speed limit, because, he explained, he was pregnant and he needed to get to the hospital asap to deliver himself of his baby, who was, probably, in there, in an unmentioned corner of his head, Jeebus, and, by the by, a necessary AND sufficient explanation of everything Republicans and Murdoch Mindbenders, Inc., are foisting on us.
Is there a reanimator ray we can turn on the corpses of all the sane Republicans? There were sane Republicans, once, right? I remember them. I mean, they were all, stuffy, and bankers and shit, but it was not an oxymoron at one time, but not anymore, no. Total oxy-eye-bleeding-moron now, yes.
[re=617597]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Ay, Carbomba!
[re=617595]user-of-owls[/re]: F. T. W. Thanks. I’m still new here, and I don’t get out much. I’m a little, you know, swart? Ashkenazim, probably, with just a pinch of Tatar. We came over on boats, or so I hear. Not through tunnels, with bricks of cocaine and Korans.
[re=617602]user-of-owls[/re]: Aqui se habla overthrow Murka?
[re=617604]WriteyWriterton[/re]: New you say? Well let me ask you son, what have you heard about the Palin Hookworm Conjecture?
*watches Joshua Norton’s eyes roll*
[re=617602]user-of-owls[/re]: Vaya con Allah!
[re=617607]user-of-owls[/re]: I’m all over it, amigo. Like hummus on a tortilla. At a fiesta, I mean, celebration, of Palin-Hookwormia. Ole!
[re=617607]user-of-owls[/re]: AKGrifter got it from licking Breitbart’s cell-phone.
these terrorist * mexirabs * have been outed . this brown disguised as brown scam didn’t work . so now they are browns disguising themselves as whites – specifically , disguising themselves as sue myrick herself , the beacon of stupidity , the bearer of false witness and smears . if you think you see a sue myrick , put her in your crosshairs , or your pubic hairs ( you choose-your choice-your fault )
[re=617512]weejee[/re]: Maybe violent crime is up in Arpaiostan because the sheriff there is too busy beating up on Latinos to try and catch violent criminals?
[re=617593]Joshua Norton[/re]: Liberte! Egalite! Fraternite! I thought I was the only one *whew*.
[re=617661]I Heart Accuracy[/re]: You are. We sent him in to flush you out.
[re=617429]x111e7thst[/re]: No, Sue “too stupid” Myrick was not the one with the vast A-rab plot. That is Virginia “been eatin’ scat of” Foxx. Or maybe Myrick was involved in the “Congressional pages being infiltrated by muslims,” too, but Foxx suspects that They are outside her bedroom window and that Obama has an army of Them at his beck and call, all coordinated and ready to do his muslim will, probably in service of the anti-Christ.
Oh, both of these ladies are Republicans representing North Carolina. NC has some good, nice, sane Congress critters, but it has districts as well who are completely accurately represented by these women.
I would just like to commend all Wonkette commenters for some HILARIOUS comments on this post. I was literally crying and laughing at the same time. Bravo. Truly impressive.
[re=617409]chascates[/re]: GENIUS!!!1
[re=617420]OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin[/re]: The Italians played Messicans in the Clint Eastwood trilogy, and we know how that turned out.
Holy Shit. There’s “crazy eyes” and then there’s THAT.
So…if they are sneaking in as illegals, why would it help them to speak Spanish? I mean, once the Border Patrol has you, it’s a little late, isn’t it?
[re=617497]El Pinche[/re]: Uh, no — WalMart tvs only blast NBC promos, for some reason.
Now that’s funny, right there.
Rep. Myrick’s popping eyes betray her… she doesn’t even believe what she’s saying herself.
,,,, or at least the rational part of herself doesn’t believe it.
That twit is an actual Cuntgressman? Woa!
Favor de dame el falafel. Yo soy amigo de Hugo Chavez. A donde los materiales fisionables? Que cuesto?
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