burn down the taco bell

Idaho Republicans Hate Word ‘Fiesta’ For Reason You May Suspect

This is taking our jobs.Some depressing county fair in Idaho decided its theme this year would be “Fiesta at the Fair,” as that seems exotic and fun (depressing). So of course the county GOP decided that this was an evil Messican idea. “Bonner County fair board Chairman Tim Cary said the fair was just looking for a theme that’s fun to decorate with, and the choice had nothing to do with official language or immigration disputes.” NICE TRY. The Bonner County GOP’s booth will say “celebrate” instead of “fiesta” and they have “asked Arizona officials for some license plates to put in the booth.” This gets more dumb and depressing, as you can imagine.

The fair runs Aug. 24-28 in Sandpoint, Idaho, a town with relatively few minorities that is about 90 miles north of Spokane, Wash.

YOU DON’T SAY.

“The Republicans at BCRCC want to make it very clear that English is our primary language, and call our booths ‘Celebrate!’ and display some Arizona license plates if you have some to spare,” Bonner County Republican Central Committee Chairman Cornel Rasor wrote in a letter to Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, according to The Spokesman-Review newspaper.

It probably is clear by looking at you that English is your only language, but yes, Brewer is sure to respond. The nachos they will serve at this county fair that seven old people will attend in Podunk Idaho is a very important to someone who is busy doing a Where’s Waldo of an ENTIRE STATE so she can find Hispanic-looking people she can deport.

Rasor said the words “fiesta” and “celebrate” mean the same thing.

“So technically speaking we didn’t have a different theme than the fair, it’s just a different spelling,” he said.

Yeah, those do not mean the same thing. “Fiesta,” by the way, is in any English dictionary, so you can look it up. It’s been a part of the language for only 150 years or so, so it’s understandable these people don’t know what it means.

But wait, is there a way to make this situation more depressing?

Last year’s fair theme was “A Black Tie and Blue Jeans Affair.”

Yes there is! [Deseret News via Wonkette operative good ol' chascates]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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77 comments

  1. anonymousryan

    It’s just too close to “siesta” and we all know how lazy Mexicans are! They’ll never get those potatoes harvested!

  2. jus_wonderin

    Gezus, why don’t they just write up their list of acceptable words? In CAPS of course, because we need to make sure we YELL them as invectives with spittle.

  3. Lazy Media

    Uh, dumb Idaho people, fiesta and fair are pretty close to synonyms. You could make the theme “Fair at the Fiesta” and have it make about as much sense.

  4. SayItWithWookies

    And here I thought fiesta was a noun, whereas celebrate is a verb. But what the hell do I know — grammar probably has an innate liberal bias. Maybe we can come up with a compromise that everybody likes — how about “Anschluss in AZ?”

  5. slappypaddy

    language policing as an expression of wingnut pride and values. “land of the free, home of the brave,” my ass.

  6. Doglessliberal

    I want a burrito.

    And this is hystertically like the French and their language purity laws.

  7. Tommmcatt

    Wait until they start purging the language of all the romance-language based words. No frenchosity or spainisheness allowed!

    German etymology or GTFO!

  8. SpenceRedux

    I’m surprised that esteemed professor of African-American Studies and hip-hop lyricist Cornel Rasor has taken a job as Chairman of the Bonnor County Idaho Republican Central Committee.

  9. chascates

    Mexican food will now be referred to as ‘border food’ and New Mexico will be called ‘New Desertville’.

  10. Poopley J. Crandleberry

    Mr. (or Mrs?) Stuef was mentioned on the New Yorker blog today. Only a matter of time now.

  11. Buzz Feedback

    Meanwhile, Larry Craig taps furiously at the rest stop between Post Falls and Spo-Compton.

  12. bureaucrap

    In order to be really clear about their intentions, they should simply eliminate all words with Latinate derivations, on the basis that they are also used in Latin America. The revenge of Dan Quayle!!!

  13. the problem child

    The nachos they will serve at this county fair that seven old people will attend in Podunk Idaho is a very important to someone who is busy doing a Where’s Waldo of an ENTIRE STATE so she can find Hispanic-looking people she can deport.

    I think you may have jammed too many unfinished ideas into that one, Jack. I missed the Velveeta.

  14. ALIVE!

    Sandpoint is not just any podunk Idaho town. It’s a hotspot (“caliente spot”) for white supremacists and militia types. Which I’m sure will come as a complete shock after reading this piece.

  15. JMP

    What’s next for the racist language police? Maybe they’ll decide to take their next vacation to “The Angels” or “Saint Francis” (well they wouldn’t visit that place anyway).

  16. Dashboard_Buddha

    So my friend drove a Ford Celebration back in the 80s? This is as weak as “Freedom Fries” for Dobb’s sake.

  17. helzapoppn

    Next, Ford Motor Company rebadges their hot new compact and sends hundreds of “Celebrates” to Idaho showrooms.

  18. the problem child

    [re=617181]ALIVE![/re]: And birthplace of Sarah “Hookwork Wrangler” Palin. Just while we’re discussing right-wing values.

  19. FMA

    And while they’re at it, what the fuck kind of word is “Idaho” anyway? Has a vowel on the end. Some kind of Messican thing or maybe the dagos. Change it to Tuberville or Klanland.

  20. Limeylizzie

    [re=617176]Extemporanus[/re]: As usual , you , sir or madam, have made me snort coffee through my nostrils.

  21. ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=617179]the problem child[/re]: There’s actually a lots a Mexi-cans in Idaho. (I take it you didn’t vote for Pedro?). The trouble is that they look EXACTLY like the goddamned Indians who rob you blind for gas & gambling on the drive from Moscow to Cd’A. What the fuck is a “Nez Purse” and why does it sound like “Lez Purse”, you know, for dykey broads?

  22. KTHXBAI

    Thing I run into when I’m out of state…

    “Oh you live in Idaho?”
    “No I live in Boise. There’s a difference.”

  23. PJsandCake

    Sandpoint is the epicenter of racial diversity in Idaho. Glad to see the crazies are taking over.

  24. 13ollocks To The Rules

    [re=617182]JMP[/re]: Sounds like the makings of a fun parlor game to while away the evening after a good lynching. It’s called “What these good Merkin places would be called if the Beaners had their way”. JMP started with
    “The Angels” (swimmin’ pools, movie stars)
    “Saint Francis” (needz moar lynchingz)
    “Saint Joseph”
    “Saint Mary”
    “Holy Mint” (where Ahnuld lives)
    “Marx-Brother-ville”
    “The Stars”
    “Big House”
    “Little Saint Clare”
    I just came across a place called “El Cajon”…….The Testicle?

  25. Lascauxcaveman

    “Fiesta means Celebrate”? What a doofus.

    Everybody knows ‘fiesta’ means ‘drunken Mexicans dancing around a mariachi band shooting their guns into the air.’

  26. the problem child

    [re=617193]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Sorry, that’s a quote from Jack that I forgot to put in quotes. I have no idea who Pedro is, but Nez Perce is a corrupted/Americanized form of nez percé, or pierced nose in French.

  27. Jim89048

    One of my most progressive friends lives near Rathdrum ID, very near to ground zero. We just figure that his nearest town and my nearest town, Pahrump NV, are unofficially sister cities, and roll our eyes appropriately.

  28. justthisonce

    The Tacobel in Sandpoint just had to order larger signs so they could advertise their new Fiery-Rice-Beans-Ground Beef-Exotic Seasoning-Some Lettuce-and-Sour Cream Wrapped Up in a Flat, Round Yeast Free Bread meal deal.

    Lord, I’m glad I live in Kalifornia.

  29. Doglessliberal

    I guess the next thing is to ban all Taco Bells from the state. Except where would all the obese bigots get their Grande Diarrheo lunches drowned in “cheese”?

  30. BobTheBuilder

    Tacos, nachos, burritos, and hot dogs will be served.

    Sorry, I meant to say: Corn patty meat envelopes, lard-corn strips, bean tubes, and hot dogs.

  31. obfuscator

    is there some hold over bush administration policy that awards federal funding to the state with the highest rate of willfully ignorant racist assholes? fucking christ on a cracker.

  32. snideinplainsight

    Hello Bonner County? It’s the Kalispel indian tribe on line three. They’d like all their land back -

  33. KingCoCrazy

    Bonner County native weighing in here. (I grew up about 20 miles down the road from Sandpoint)When I was a kid 40 years ago, the place was redneck, sure, but blue collar and a lot of union Democrats. When the timber jobs disappeared, the place was repopulated by Orange County assholes who began arriving in droves in the 60s before the smoke started to clear from the Watts riots. Not that there aren’t more than a few home-grown lunatics, but the bulk of the Birchers/Teabaggers/Nazis imported themselves from SoCal, and I wish they would go fucking home.

  34. OzoneTom

    Depressing, but not as much as if the Bonner County Republiklansmen had convinced the fair board to change the name of the fair theme.

  35. Anonymous Office Zombie

    Well, for your information, the ghost of Jan Brewer’s father, who died a valiant martyr’s death battling the Nazi’s, has informed the GOP that “fiesta” and “celebrate” are synonymous. All American dictionaries that say otherwise obviously part of a sinister Mexican/Nazi conspiracy that goes back 150 years.

  36. GOPCrusher

    HAVE YOU READ THE LAW? IT’S NOT ABOUT RACIAL PROFILING! IT’S NOT RACIST!!!!!11!

    I’m sure that’s how Jan Brewer responded to the request for Arizona license plates.

  37. uncletravelingmatt

    In fairness to Sandpoint and Coeur d’ Alene, the public did not exactly welcome the racists. A local Catholic priest was such a pain in the ass that skinheads blew up his house (he survived.) In the late 90′s, the Neo-Nazis held a parade and the locals responded by turning it in to a walk-a-thon that raised over $35K for local human rights groups.

    Doesn’t excuse the fuckwits at the Bonner Co. GOP, though.

  38. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    But the joke is on the Bonner County Republicans, because to the Canadians, they are the south of the boarder unwanted foreigners.

  39. Extemporanus

    There’s a certain measure of irony in the fact that a political party in a state with a name derived from either a wealthy industrialist and failed congressional candidate’s racist in-joke (aka the “Idahoax”), or from a tragically comic misappropriation of one or another Native American tribe’s verbose, on-the-nose appellations, would get their burlap hoods in a bunch over an etymologically-homogenized Spanish word made ubiquitous at New Years Eve celebrations in the early 80s by an African-American R&B artist.

    With apologies, please allow me to quote at length from the even-lengthier Wikipedia entry on the origin of the name “Idaho”:

    “In the early 1860s, when the United States Congress was considering organizing a new territory in the Rocky Mountains, eccentric lobbyist George M. Willing suggested the name ‘Idaho,’ which he claimed was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning ‘the sun comes from the mountains’ or ‘gem of the mountains’. Willing later claimed that he had made up the name himself….”

    “The name ‘Idaho’ may be derived from the Plains Apache word ‘ídaahę́’ which means ‘enemy.’ The Comanches used this word to refer to the Idaho Territory…”

    “Some sources claim that the name ‘Idaho’ comes from an Indian word, ‘Ee-dah-how,’ meaning ‘Gem of the Mountains.’ This expression may have come from some other Tribe, and it would have a different meaning for them than it would for the Coeur d’Alenes.

    As the Coeur d’Alenes understood the word ‘Idaho,’ it would be more correctly pronounced ‘Ah-d’Hoo.’ It means ‘greetings by surprise,’ indicating friendship, but surprise. The first syllable conveys to the mind, ‘All are welcome, from wherever you come; but keep the friendly peace. We welcome you with out-stretched arms, and this entitles us to permanent friendship.’ The last syllable is a surprise and exclamation point. The expression means that all are welcome, ‘though we are surprised to see so many different strangers. The first dawn of day welcomes you as the sun rises.’ This expression was used by many of the Coeur d’Alenes on the Bitterroot Mountains to greet all who come.

    So to all who read these words: ‘Welcome, with open arms! We’re just surprised that there are so many of you!’

    “We’re just surprised that there are so many of you,” indeed.

  40. comicbookguy

    Burritos are “freedom wraps.” Nachos are “freedom chips with freedom cheese.”

    just ask the guy back in the kitchen flipping tacos.

  41. chaste everywhere

    [re=617302]Extemporanus[/re]: And here I thought it was short for that multiple-Grammy C&W number “I’d a Ho on my Arm When I Crossed the State Line, but Looks Like She Give Me the Slip.”

  42. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    “So technically speaking we didn’t have a different theme than the fair, it’s just a different spelling,” he said.

    Sure, throw a big shit fit over the word, then pretend there’s no difference. Your Republican Party at work!

  43. jimstoic

    I grew up in Sandpoint. I got one of my cats at the Bonner County Fair in 2000. The fact that it’s one organization that’s being idiotic speaks well of the place. Is there any county fair in the U.S. that doesn’t have some idiots running a booth?

    The town is a beautiful place with a huge lake and a ski resort. Idaho, like Montana, is a place people move to get away from it all, and northern Idaho is even more that way. Some people move there to get away from eight-lane freeways and smog; others move there to get away from minorities (or, as they put it, “crime”) and the “Homosexual Agenda.” In other words, you have a mix of left- and right-wing folks.

    Like the rest of the state, it has gotten more conservative since 1980 largely because of its increasingly large Mormon population. It has over the past decade or so been the destination for a small group of white supremacists.

    I moved away because I could tell the Homosexual Agenda would not easily be achieved there.

  44. iburl

    When will that Communist Jack-In-The box stop selling the unamerican food, the “Taco”. Why won’t he just call them Sammiches??!! TAKE AMURICA BACK!

  45. friendlyskies

    “Arizona” license plates?!? Arizona is a corruption of Spanish for “dry region” (“zona arida”).

    Babosos.

  46. martinette

    They say that, years ago, Republicans would rail against political correctness. Is there a worse example of it than this?

  47. mumblyjoe

    [re=617207]13ollocks To The Rules[/re]: Don’t forget Rat’s Mouth, where all those retired people live.

  48. PickneyPinchback

    Everybody knows that the word “fiesta” is secret Venezuelan Hezbollah Messican code for “Al Qaeda recruiting camp.” WAKE UP SHEEPLES!!!!!!!!!! The brown folk are coming to get you.

  49. rmjag

    call it freedomho and be done with it . and take away all traces of romance and native american languages too . they will have nothing but incomprehensible grunting noises to communicate with and many towns with no names … and maybe they should , out of patriotism , change the name of MOSCOW , idaho to FREEDOM FRIES , freedomho . to get rid of the communists .

  50. just pixels

    It’s good that there will be a “Celebrate” booth at the fair for people who don’t want to have sex. For the others, may I suggest a visit to the Hooters tasting booth for some breasts or KY massage tent for a happy ending (to your fair visit).

  51. Diana Davies

    I live across the state line in Washington state and many of us are going to the fiesta wearing sombreros and serapes. Nothing says “fuck you” to a north Idaho Republican than wearing Mexican attire in Bonner County.

  52. riverside68

    Who knew there were so many Bonner Co. folks here? As a Bonner Co. tax paying land owner, Mother born in Sandpoint in 1915, her father an undocumented Canadian decended from NJ loyalists, I will share a local joke: “How do you tell when it is spring in Sandpoint? When you see Mark Furman out planting gloves.”

    Seriously this was a IWW bastion back in the day, I still have the bedroll of a wobbly WWI draft resistor. But those Southern Californians and Euro trash, brought back by Ed Keinholz (see:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Kienholz ) took away a lot of charm.

    Local tee shirt: Idaho? NO, you da ho!

  53. uncletravelingmatt

    [re=617573]Diana Davies[/re]: Showing them your pay stub is a pretty good “fuck you,” too.

  54. banjomike

    Bonner County worked hard, along with the Southern Poverty Law Center, to clear Butler and his baby Nazis out years ago. Butler’s dead now, and his compound was razed and turned into a day camp for kids (including all minority kids) by a pround Idahoan, but all it takes is a couple of bone-heads for the healed-over scab to get ripped open again.

    For another view, check this out:

    http://www.43rdstateblues.com/?q=blog/1

    Serephin is far from alone. Thousands of Idahoans feel the same.

    Whenever Idaho’s loonies pop up, there is always the same old scrag that gets repeated. I’m a lifelong native, and a cowboy Democrat. So is the Democratic Party’s candidate for Governor, Keith Allred, and he’s a Mormon, to boot. (and is doing very well, so far, in his race.)

    Here are some of the old misperceptions…

    Don’t be too quick on laying it on the Mormon doorstep. The LDS beliefs changed radically in 1978, when church president Kimball’s revelation that black folks have full church membership rights. I’m not LDS, and don’t much believe in revelation, but the church does, and takes any revelation very seriously. Idaho Mormons, especially the true blues, have accepted blacks widely into local congregations.

    Potatoes grow in the southern half of the state. Pine treees and transplanted Californian nutbags grow in Bonner County. Butler was one. Idaho’s hispanics live in the southern half, where the potatoes grow, and Idaho does not share the Arizona urge to boot them out. We need them, and like ‘em just fine. Lots of the farmers here in the southern half do everything they can to get their guys legalized as fast as possible.

    The name ‘Idaho’ is a made-up word, like hootenanny, or gizmo. It was first used to name Idaho City, Colorado, and the closest meaning is the similar to “The Big Rock Candy Mountain’- an old miner’s slang description of heaven. Since Idaho ‘s first population were mostly miners, this makes the most sense, and is the most true description of the state. Idaho’s beauty is why all those California fanatics move here, along with the cheap real-estate prices of the time.

    Idahoans are a very independent bunch, and are conservative by nature, but avoid lumpage. We come in all stripes, and Idaho Repubs are in a hard fight this year. Don’t be surprised if we get a Democratic Governor, come November.

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