With their best friends the Supreme Court routinely doing them solids on overturning urban gun control, the National Rifle Association has nothing better to do now than make sure every random law that gets passed has some funny gun part to it. Things like the new credit card law’s provision that you can now carry a loaded gun in national parks. And the part of the health care legislation that bans insurance companies charging higher premiums for having a gun in your home. And the stuff in the proposed D.C. voting rights bill that would increase “gun rights” in Washington and also only let you elect a gun to Congress.
“The last two years have been a disaster for us,” said Representative Carolyn McCarthy, a New York Democrat and a longtime advocate of increased gun control. “A lot of members are just afraid of the N.R.A.”
Afraid? Why would you be afraid of patriots holding three assault rifles on every appendage and pointing them in your face? Well, it’s refreshing that Congress is finally afraid to stand up to a lobby.
The N.R.A. was just as aggressive last month in getting Congressional Democrats to carve out an exemption tailor-made for the group to exclude it from the so-called Disclose Act, requiring disclosure of donors, rather than risk a defeat of the whole bill because of opposition from Republicans and conservative Democrats supportive of gun rights.
Oh good! Now they can keep their biggest secret, zombie Charlton Heston raising money for the NRA by giving out handjobs with his cold, dead hands.
The NRA is being criticized by nutjobs for working with Democrats to give them everything they want. Especially for working with Harry Reid. “I’ll give you four words: Majority Leader Chuck Schumer,” their chief lobbyist says to those people. Haha, that guy’s a Jew!
Paul Helmke, president of the Brady Center to Prevent Handgun Violence, said in pursuing an ambitious legislative agenda, President Obama — who has been largely silent on gun issues — and Congressional Democrats must either work with the gun lobby or risk losing votes. “They basically end up saying, ‘We’re willing to capitulate to the N.R.A. to get the greater good of whatever passed,’ ” he said.
Understandable, perhaps. But the NRA will not stop until federal law mandates that every citizen has a gun in both hands at all times. [NYT]
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Guns in churches
Guns in bars
Fool’s fate it written
In the stars.
Burma Shave
Wonkette needs many, many more pictures of shirtless cadavers to accompany their stories, if for no other reason than to keep my boner down during work hours.
bans insurance companies charging higher premiums for having a gun in your home
What a bunch of commie socialsts using big brother to browbeat private industry that way.
And WATB’s too. It’s a wonder these gun clinging nuts come out of their basements at all, the way they shake and smell of fear urine.
Ugh, why can’t someone in Congress stand up for those of us who don’t feel insecure over our penis size and feel the need to carry a long metal substitute?
Just about the only right a “suspected terrorist” has these days is the right to buy a gun, at a gunshow, with no background check. USA USA!111!!
Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!!! It’s PEOPLE!!!! Waah haah haah haah hengh. . .
The capitalist in me respects the NRA, for their fundraising department knows better than anyone else that a fool and his money are soon parted.
I like to think of my everyday life among the American population as a walk through a dark room full of loaded mousetraps — you never know who the hell is going to go off with little or no warning. All increased access to guns does is add more mousetraps to the room. And make it so that instead of slamming shut on your toe, they actually kill and maim you. So really it’s just a difference of degree, not a qualitative increase in potential violence — all you complainers are just sissies.
“But the NRA will not stop until federal law mandates that every citizen has a gun in both hands at all times.”
never happen. guy’s gotta have a hand free for fappin’.
The NRA opposed a bill in our state that would have put some minimal restrictions on puppy mills and given law enforcement some tools for busting bad puppy breeders, and pissed off pretty much everybody that wasn’t an evil puppy torturer. The NRA just loves to piss people off. And shoot them probably.
i can use these laws to carry a gun, too! and i’m vaguely ethnic-looking!
joke’s on you, nra!
[re=616049]hiphophitler[/re]: You’re confusing the issues. That has to do with the death panels.
[re=616047]JMP[/re]: Is it true that Charlton Heston’s nickname was “Peanut”?
Say what you like about the NRA (e.g., they’re a pack of loons), but they are a genuine grassroots organization that looks out for the (frequently demented) concerns of its members. The American gun “industry” consists of a few small, frequently bankrupt manufacturies in Connecticut; they’re not bankrolling dick.
I fully support a GUNS IN THE WORKPLACE BILL.
Even though it takes one trigger pulling second to go from “patriotic law abiding citizen” to “hardcore criminal”, if those poor dead folks in Arizona yesterday were packing heat they’d probably be alive today.
(If the second guy who fires at the first guy isn’t shot by the third guy who gets blown away by the fourth employee who can’t tell who the bad guy is…that is.)
Anywho, more guns save lives! Ask Yemen.
[re=616053]slappypaddy[/re]: They have the FleshMagnum for that.
COMPLETELY off topic, but I am currently sitting in South Carolina (Myrtle Beach) waiting for someone and listening to the busboy and manager at a local, independent knock-off of Waffle House talk about Alvin Greene.
“You KNOW there’s something going on. Mentally retarded, living with his dad, and he just won cause his name was first on the ballot. Where’d he come up with the filing fee? But how can you beat him? What can you say about a mentally retarded guy?”
I’m trying not to laugh too much but it’s hard.
[re=616044]Hoplight[/re]: So, if I tell my insurance company that my ovaries are “baby-guns,” they’ll cut my extra lady premiums, right?
Since the NRA has so much money to spend on Congress they should just offer to give a free gun to everyone that doesn’t have one.
When Congress allows me to bring my loaded assault rifle and all the ammunition I want into the Capitol Galleries, then I will know they are serious about gun rights. Until then, they are a bunch of spineless pussies.
[re=616057]FMA[/re]: Oh, yeah. You’re right.
Soylent Green is PEANUTS!!! It’s PEANUTS!!! Waah haah haah hengh . . . .
[re=616060]WarAndG[/re]:Mogadishu is the NRA’s vision of utopia.
[re=616062]Redhead[/re]: Are you sure they’re not talking about Jim DeMint?
Thank god for every credit card account I open, I get 5,000 bonus rounds of ammo.
Thwart the transpirations of slavery!
[re=616063]doxastic[/re]: They may even give you free infertility treatment then. To make those ovaries automatic weapons with an extended clip.
It’s not my imagination. I’ve got a gun at my back.
[re=616065]BOOBIES![/re]: Since guns make everyone safer, all visitors to the gallery should be assigned a rifle or handgun if they aren’t already carrying one. Like those ugly jackets and ties nice restaurants have to hand out to the casually dressed.
[re=616073]lumpenprole[/re]: Would we count what has transpired a transpiracy?
Its a refreshing change from previous fads, like putting a provision mandating “abstinence only” sex ed in every Bill, or provisions protecting the holy perfect angel fetuses in every bill.
You know what I always say, if God didn’t mean for us to have guns, we wouldn’t be born with them.
alt-text FTW. But when will they extend gun rights to guns? My guns want and deserve their own guns.
That Chuckleton has one furry area.
My entry in the Charlton Heston Obscure Quote of the Day:
“Build coffins. That’s all you’ll need.”
[re=616060]WarAndG[/re]: (If the second guy who fires at the first guy isn’t shot by the third guy who gets blown away by the fourth employee who can’t tell who the bad guy is…that is.)
You been watching a lot of Tarantino films lately?
[re=616057]FMA[/re]: No; that sounds more like the name of a damn dirty ape. His nicknames were “the one-inch staff” and “He who gives the burning bush”.
I always look for an opportunity to share pictures of my cat.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/cat%20with%20gun/coolkid12345/Shooting_Cat.gif?o=2
Jeeze, will you guys just chill out about the “scary guns”?
I’m a CCL holder and I routinely go around with a Ruger LCP in my pocket and I haven’t hurt anyone.
[re=616049]hiphophitler[/re]: Soylent Green may be people. But someone had to hunt those people down, blow their brains out, and then skin them.
[re=616052]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “Mousetraps”? Screw that. Blast those little mices to pieces!
[re=616053]slappypaddy[/re]: Depends on how you define “gun,” doesn’t it? (“This is my rifle, this is my gun . . .,” etc.?
[re=616068]Ducksworthy[/re]: Mogadishu? Is that what they are calling the . . . “African” parts of D.C. nowadays?
[re=616071]WhatTheHeck[/re]: What a deal! But only 5000 rounds? That’s only one or two schoolyard shooting spree’s worth.
Oh, one more thing: I have a better chest than Chuck’s . . . YOU DAMN LIBERAL COMMIE PINKO SCUM APES!
Neilist
THAT’S Why I’m In The N.R.A. (“Nuts with Rifles & Ammo”)
[re=616053]slappypaddy[/re]: That’s why we need a “Wide Barrel” rider to the Guns in Both Hands law.
[re=616052]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Brilliant.
[re=616090]PineyWoodster[/re]: “I routinely go arond with a Ruger LCP . . . ”
Couldn’t afford anything better, eh? (Ducking.)
[re=616077]Hoplight[/re]: “all visitors to the gallery should be assigned a rifle or handgun if they aren’t already carrying one.”
Actually, that’s the Best Idea of the Day. We could install little motors under the House and Senate Chamber chairs, and move them around like the little ducks and pipes in a carny shooting gallery.
Might be hard to set it up, though. After the Puerto Ricans spooked all the game back in the 1950s. (Never take a P.R. hunting: Chasing a 8 point buck with a switchblade rarely works.)
So what’s going to be in the financial reform bill?
if it includes the ability to walk into Goldman Sachs carrying a concealed weapon, this may not be as bad as we think.
They need to be able to put in that I can carry my assault rifle with me into my bank and into my boss’s office. It’s my right.
[re=616095]Neilist[/re]:
♫♫ Happiness is a warm gun ♫♫
Maybe next time we can set Claymores on some of the columns.
[re=616044]Hoplight[/re]: I was going to post about how batshit the insurance bit was, but you were more insightful. SOSHULISM indeed!
Exactly what leg does the NRA have to stand on on that issue? There’s tons and tons of evidence that having a gun around makes you more prone to injury, plus, err, common sense. You can argue about the liberty to have one until the cows come home, but if you want to talk about PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, which is what the Eddie the Eagle is all about, right?, then this is ridiculous.
[re=616072]sesi329[/re]: We heard you the first time, spambot.
And because of the NRA lobbying, every bill signed into law, now ends with: “Well do ya feel lucky, punk. Well do ya?”
“Majority Leader Chuck Schumer,…that guy’s a Jew!”
Schumer is my Senator. I didn’t know he eats Chinese food on Christmas. Is everyone in NY Jewish? Are there really that many Chinese restaurants around here?
You all are gonna need to thank the NRA for making sure everyone is armed when society collapses under a sea of national debt. Lock and fucking load.
-Guest Poster Erskine Bowles
[re=616055]fictional character[/re]: Go ahead and try it and see how long you live. And stay away from subway platforms.
[re=616065]BOOBIES![/re]: & [re=616077]Hoplight[/re]: I’ll do you one better. Give every member of Congress a fully-loaded Uzi at the start of debate. When Randy Neugebauer or Pete Olson calls Nancy Pelosi a “commie bitch”, everybody opens fire and they all go party with Jesus. Last Congressperson left standing passes the legislation and turns off the lights. After the next election, repeat the process.
Imagine the marketing campaign: “Are you gutsy enough to give your life for your country? Run for Congress!”
[re=616152]An Outhouse[/re]: New York? Oh yeah, its all Jews up there. Jews and commies, and all on the welfare.
[re=616055]fictional character[/re]: that’s the part they haven’t figured out yet.
[re=616053]slappypaddy[/re]: Interesting. I am so hopelessly left-handed that I can neither fap nor shoot with the other hand.
[re=616060]WarAndG[/re]: Ah, yes: guns make freedom and save lives.
You know, I love that old refrain. Turns out… and this is just a coincidence… probably shouldn’t talk about it… that the most private gun ownership of automatic weapons was in Iraq. That meant that their citizens were totally free and didn’t have a “tyrant” who either needed to be deposed by force of invading arms or, of course, could be deposed that way.
Yes, indeed. We don’t need to ask Yemen, where the guns they own are largely ceremonial and busted up junk. We can ask Iraq. Their guns kept them free.
[re=616095]Neilist[/re]: Couldn’t afford anything better, eh? (Ducking.)
Ouch – well, yeah, some truth to that, but mostly was going for the convenient pocket carry size. The Glocks and 1911′s seemed sort of large for that.
Kinda wish I had gone that route now though, since I still can’t find any dang .380 ammo.
What would you pick for pocket carry?
[re=616090]PineyWoodster[/re]: It’s not the guns that are scary, pal, it’s the people who feel the need to carry them. I like guns. Disturbed individuals, not so much.
[re=616215]PineyWoodster[/re]: oh geez, now its going to turn into the “Ask Neilist Gun Show”.
Do you think he gives expert advice for free? huh, do ya?
whore diamonds or gtfo!
[re=616252]sati demise[/re]: I bet he’ll take Ron Paul silver dollars.
[re=616250]BeWoot[/re]: I don’t think it is so much feeling the need to carry one, more like if I ever did need one and I didn’t have one handy, I’d feel really bad about not having carried it with me. Kind of like not having jumper cables in your car when your battery goes dead and you have to go around the parking lot asking strangers if they have jumper cables because you forgot to pack your own. But even worse because it is a lot more embarrassing to ask strangers if they have a gun you can borrow than it is to ask if they have jumper cables you can borrow.
Don’t ask me how I know this.
[re=616269]PineyWoodster[/re]: What’s the exchange rate between whore diamonds and Ron Paul silver dollars today, anyway?
I’d offer Neilist Ameros, but I don’t think he’d take them.
[re=616179]madirishman[/re]: “Give every member of Congress a fully-loaded Uzi at the start of debate”?!?
WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR “UZIs”?!? The UZI is only a 9mm submachine gun. And it uses magazines.
I say give each Member of Congress something more conducive to debate, e.g., a GE Minigun in 7.62 mm, and several thousand rounds of belted ammo.
Spool those babies up one hot, contentious August afternoon, and it will make Preston Brooks’ Caning Of Charles Sumner look like a couple of puppies playing under a sweater.
[Or better yet: How about crew serviced weapons for the Caucuses or Subcommittees?)
[re=616215]PineyWoodster[/re]: For my normal CCW, I use my Glock 27 Subcompact. The grip is a bit too small for my hand, particularly given that the .40 cal. S&W round is a bit . . . “sporty” . . . for that small a piece. But as frisky as it is, I’m about as accurate as with my Model 23 Compact.
But for Really & Truly Down-And-Dirty CCW, nothing beats the S&W Airweight/Detective Revolvers. Particularly the shrouded hammer or hammerless models. They are really ugly, and you only have four rounds (if you leave the chamber under the hammer empty).
But you can put a hot load in the four, and they ALWAYS work — even when you fire them without first removing them from your jacket pocket.
(And the goose down blasting out of the hole in your parka reminds one of Christmas . . . when, of course, you give the gift that keeps on giving: FIREARMS!)
Neilist
N.R.A. Outreach Program – Wonkette Desk
That Double-Wide Trailer In The Middle of Nowhere
With All The Radio Antennas
[re=616277]PineyWoodster[/re]: Whore Diamonds only, please. Ideally, Whore Blood Diamonds. (“Stop brushin’ wit da HATERS!”
[re=616366]Neilist[/re]: The one I personally *prefer is my Ruger SP101 with a shaved spur.
*Could afford.
Repukes only hope these morons will put down their guns long enough to vote.
I wrote about this on Daily Kos. I still don’t understand how people believe that allowing everyone to have guns makes our society safer. In truth, I don’t think they do, but the NRA sure wants you to believe it.
I think the major problem is messaging. The NRA is very effective in their message and despite school shootings of the past, and crime rates rising, the NRA has always managed to successfuly blame anythng excpet for the fact that we make it easy for people to buy guns.
Are you exercising your Second Amendment Rights, or are you just happy to see me?
[re=616393]roseonpolitics[/re]: Because everyone that carries a gun instantly becomes Audie Murphy or Sergeant York.
[re=616366]Neilist[/re]: Love my 27. The first generation Taurus 85 is a good choice as well. Heavier than the Airweight, but I’ve fired the S&W in .357 and you think the Glock is “snappy.” Also, I’ve heard that the chamber pressure in the Airweight means that if you miss your teabagger with your load (however many you have) you are limited to trying to hit them with the gun, since it takes a punch and a mallet to remove the spent shells.
[re=616366]Neilist[/re]: I yield to your superior knowledge of the subject. If you think GE Miniguns would liven the Congressional debate, then by all means…
I mentioned Uzis in my example based upon several assumptions:
1) That all members of Congress are big-mouthed idiots who have never held a gun, let alone used one;
2) Due to their chronic tunnel-vision, they couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if it were 10 feet in front of them;
3) I was under the impression that the Uzi was fully automatic and didn’t require aiming–just pull the trigger and wave it back-and-forth. You’ll hit something.
Your example of a GE Minigun, however, suggests a scenario similar to a nuclear exchange: everyone would be dead within the first 30 seconds–the extra ammo merely determines how far the blood would splatter.
Still, the basic point is sound. If Congress is so in love with guns and the NRA, then let them carry guns openly on the House and Senate floors. Maybe they’ll think twice before they spout off–knowing that everybody is packin’.
Hmmm…do you exercise your First Amendment rights, or your Second Amendment rights? Interesting choice.
[re=616547]madirishman[/re]: “Your example of a GE Minigun, however, suggests a scenario similar to a nuclear exchange: everyone would be dead within the first 30 seconds–the extra ammo merely determines how far the blood would splatter.”
I’m confused. You say that as if it’s a BAD thing . . . .
Anyway, the full auto version of the UZI fires from an open bolt. (A lot of machine guns do, to prevent cookoff.) But it makes it even less accurate.
[re=616485]Gun-toting Progressive[/re]: I used to have a S&W .44 Mag revolver with a 1 3/4″ barrel. If the bullet missed, the blast would incinerate the Teabagger. Of course, you’d go deaf — but around some people, that can be an advantage. But it was Too Much, even for me. (And THAT’s saying something.)
Neilist
Wonkette Editor
Guns & Babes & Bikinis Magazine
The Bottom of the Stack, Under The Old Playboys
At A Barbershop Near You
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