Meet your new GOP friend/hero, Herman Cain. He’s “an African-American Republican, a former chief executive of Godfather’s Pizza, a cancer survivor — and the host of a popular radio show in Georgia.” A brand-new movement called Draft Cain 2012 is using Facebook technology to make Cain our next president. But is America ready for “the Hermanator”?
A conservative blogger says that Cain — not to be confused with “the Strom Thurmondator” — might be “Michael Steele without the baggage.” Which isn’t a very good metaphor to use at all, because without baggage what is left of Michael Steele? Anyway:
What makes Herman Cain an especially potent force is his charisma, and the fact that his supporters don’t just admire him — they love him. “He has the ability to really have the ‘wow’ factor,” said Maurice Atkinson, another leader of the Draft Cain movement.
Republicans are capable of “love”!
“Herman Cain is an unconventional politician and a leader in every way,” said Martha Zoller, host of a popular conservative radio talk show based out of Gainesville, Florida. “He makes things happen and understands the two things lacking in the current administration — American exceptionalism and economic principles.”
Not only that, but both Joe the Plumber and Lewis the Singing Marine like him.
What else can be said about the Hermanator? He’s a maths and computers guy. He’s never held public office, but having government experience doesn’t really mean anything — just look at the losers who do have experience. He believes in the power of smiles. He doesn’t mind being completely unaware of what’s going on in the world sometimes. He would make a good life coach. And he probably knows how to make a passable pizza. HIRED. [Politics Daily]
{ 43 comments }
I can’t wait to see the eventual smackdown between a fast food pizza maker and Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity posse.
Call that shit whatever you want it is decidedly NOT pizza.
Godfather’s Pizza survived cancer? How inspiring!
What’s with the anonymous conservative blogger and all his/her references to baggage? Oh, porter, red cap, I get it now. Sorry, a little slow on the uptake. The trauma of George passing and all.
“his supporters don’t just admire him — they love him.”
cult of personality alert!
As much as I liked Betty White hosting SNL, part of me wishes it didn’t happen, because now that one facebook campaign actually worked now it seems tons of people keep constantly creating new stupid groups demanding something ridiculous.
And he probably knows how to make a passable pizza.
I’ve been to a Godfather’s Pizza: FALSE.
Yes, but would he punch Grouchy Smurf?
Republicans are capable of “love”!
I call bullshit.
According to early polling 3 – perhaps even 4! – Iowa conservatives are standing by to caucus for this guy.
Well fuck, let’s all run! People lurrve us!
[re=616004]fictional character[/re]:
It’s not a cult of personality if you’re a GOPer.
There’s nothing wrong with wanking it to a picture of Ronnie Raygun, but admire a black (well, half black) Demrat? That’s blasphemy!!
Why do you have to be a “dark horse candidate,” Herman Cain, huh? It’s because you’re black, isn’t it? Racist.
Well, he doesn’t appear to be a horrible douchetard, so that makes him 1,947,032% better than every other Republican candidate in the entire history of the world and the universe.
Whoa whoa whoa everybody: The “Hermanator” drops the “you people” bomb, right in the headline, of his post about not keeping up with the news. That’s not change I can believe in.
Birf sertificate, also.
“American exceptionalism?” I’ll tell you what’s exceptional about America. It’s a country where nitwits who have no experience in government are always bitching about the performance of those who do, and saying how awful they are, and what a shitty thing being an elected office-holder is, but they (the nitwiti) want to be elected to that cesspool of useless papershufflers and lobbyist cocksuckers. What’s truly exceptional about America, though, is that these morons keep getting elected making such illogical campaign arguments.
What a country. What a fucking country.
Herman Cain @ Godfathers, Tom Monaghan @ Dominos, what is with these pizza palukas and fasciti politics? Is there too much opus dei in the marinara?
Number first: that Blingee is like getting run over by a ’76 Mercury Grand Marquis on dubs and filled with strokes. Well did, ma’am! Next up: what, exactly, is it that you want from the Black man, dearest America? Shall he now be political savior of whatever flavor, only to become the object of ridicule and scorn? Shall he remain relegated to your pedestal of daft hero worship for those possessed of a wicked vertical? Shall he continue to pervade your fever dreams as a sexual dynamo/violator? Jesus Christ, shall he be in charge of your precious DiGiornio’s?! Or will you be content with just keeping him on the news as a violent gang kingpin/purse-robber bound for the prison system?
This country is so schizoid.
“In 2004, he ran for U.S. Senate in Georgia, coming in second place to then-Congressman Johnny Isakson in the Republican primary (many believe that had Cain forced a runoff, he would have defeated Isakson in a head-to-head match-up).”
Hahahaha! Herman got 26 percent of the vote, vs. 53 percent for Isakson (another white guy got the rest). He might have a better chance now, since the Republicans in Georgia have gone full teabag (Isakson is experienced, competent and moderate for a Southern Republican, therefore a RINO). But nationally, I prefer Alan Keyes in a darkhorse race.
[re=616009]Oblios Cap[/re]: NAMBLA. Bullshit culled.
“American exceptionalism” makes me want to hurl
Republicans of the wingnut/teabag persuasion love him if they’ve only heard him on the radio and don’t know he’s black.
[re=616016]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Not a douchetard? Not a nominee. Sarah/Michele are safe.
Ah, populism, gotta love it. I mean, who can think of a single reason why it would be a bad idea to pick the people who run our country based on all of the substantive policy debate embodyed by your average Student Council election?
And just to be clear, that’s High School Student Council elections that I’m talking about there, not your elitist intellectual College Student Council. Seriously, the headiness of this discourse seems to peak at “I’m popular, and if you vote for me, you’ll feel like you’re popular, too.”
And he probably knows how to make a passable pizza.
Been a while since I’ve eaten at a Godfathers, but I always remember it was hard to pass if I ate too much of it. Needs moar fiber.
[re=616033]ella[/re]: Buford T. Justice: Oh, pardon me. For some reason you sounded a little, uh, taller on the radio.
[re=616030]HipHopOpotamus[/re]:
The Love is thrown in there so people don’t get the group confused with the North American Model Boat Association.
[re=616016]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yes, he does.
[re=616029]Lazy Media[/re]: All Cain needed was for 100% of [other white dude]‘s supporters to vote for him in the run-off to successfully lose by a respectable margin.
Cain says his presidential campaign in 2000 was more about making a point than winning.
And considering that nobody heard of him then, he lost either way, right? Unless his point was that nobody would ever hear of him. And if that was his point, then Alvin Greene is our man.
If this guy runs the country we’ll be eating cardboard, staring at giant screens all day, and hemorrhaging what money remains in the arcade with our fat offspring. Wait a minute…
Well, the pizza alone would make me consider him for President. But only if he delivers in thirty minutes or less.
Can we please start referring to him as ‘Juglans nigra’ immediately? This is the only proper Wonkette thing to do.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juglans_nigra
BTW Mrs. Apple, I was in a not so hawt mood when I got home, and this article cheered me upwards.
Please please please let someone on his staff contact someone on Maldonado’s staff.
CAIN/ABEL 2012, BYTCHEZZ!!!!!
[re=616018]germansteel[/re]: In some states, the “no experience in government” even includes never having voted. Exceptional, indeed.
What is it with these pizza guys?
Monahan – Domino’s – went nuts buying Frank Lloyd Wright stuff and then had a Catholic/evangelical revelation and went nuts building a Catholic law school, Catholic university, and Catholic planned community (where pr0n is prohibited from being sold).
Ilich – Little Caesar’s – bought the Detroit Red Wings. ‘Nuff said.
Cain – besides playing a major role in a Battlestar Galactica story arc, goes out and plays politician. Nice, very nice.
I just checked out the webpage and one of his opinion posts: the highlights
- The war in Afghanistan has a new general in charge, but the outlook for “victory” is still bleak. It will be difficult even for General Petraeus because it is widely recognized that the Afghanistan government is corrupt, and the “rules of engagement” to protect civilians increases the dangers to our troops. The Taliban has only one rule of engagement: Kill!
Hmm, rules of engagement in quotes, implied negative comparison to Taliban tactics. So, he thinks the US should act more like the Taliban. Typical Republican there. Extra points for following the word kill with such an enthusiastic form of punctuation.
I love how Repukes think that all they have to do to connect with minorities and young people is with these token black guys (aka Steele etc.). They don’t need to….oh I don’t know….stop being racist bigot fearmongerers. Nah, that’s not the solution.
If he’s good enough to get the coveted Joe The Plumber endorsement, that’s all I need to hate him with the fire of a million suns.
[re=616101]actor212[/re]: [re=616024]weejee[/re]: Actually, if donors don’t deliver their money in thirty minutes or less, he has them shot, on Sarah Palin’s front lawn. (Yes that is a Snow Crash reference.)
The allure of this candidate has mostly to do with his business acumen, an admirable quality that obviously finds very little acclaim among the towering intellects here.
Hi mustardman, so apparently you believe that black men are only useful to the Republican party as “tokens”. You need to widen the eyeholes in your hood.
Dude wears a COWBOY HAT. Black dudes DON’T.
http://wsbradio.com/images/2009/02/hcain_hat_s.jpg
Comments on this entry are closed.