ALSO ALSO DAVE WEIGEL IS RACIST  4:05 pm July 12, 2010

NAACP Going To Call Teabaggers Racist But Teabagger Leaders Don’t Understand Because They Are Basically the New Civil Rights Movement

by Jack Stuef

No, certainly not these people.The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People has a convention coming up in Kansas City, and a resolution will be introduced to call Teabaggers racist, because why not? Seems pretty valid, as many Teabaggers do seem to be rather racist. A LITTLE LATE, but valid. Teabagger leaders cannot believe this, though. THEM, TEABAGGERS, racist? It is strange, because Teabaggers have pretty much picked up the torch from the NAACP in leading the civil rights movement.

“I just don’t see racism in the tea party movement,” said Brendan Steinhauser, director of campaigns for FreedomWorks, which organizes tea party groups. “Racism is something we’re absolutely opposed to.”

“The NAACP has more of a political agenda now, but I would hope that they would appreciate the fact that the tea party movement has a lot in common with the civil rights movement. I’m personally inspired by what the civil rights movement did, and I want them to know that.”

Yes, can you try to appreciate this, NAACP? Stop thinking about how the Teabaggers are almost your ideological opposites for a second and appreciate how much you have in common. Teabaggers hate racism, you see. Why do you think they criticize Obama for being a bigot every five seconds?

Meanwhile, Teabagger scribe Dave Weigel has run to their defense:

Dave Weigel is stuck in Alaska this week inside a jet engine, yet no one will help him on Twitter. He is also co-guest-blogging with fellow conservative-fatwa victim David Frum for the vacationing Andrew Sullivan. These two scenarios are pretty bleak, so Weigel is understandably ingratiating himself with the Teabaggers he once had a sense of humor about and disagreeing with the NAACP, which makes him racist, but whatever.

(Is this enough to get the Weigel page-view gold? Maybe we need a little more.)

Weigel is wrong, of course. The NAACP does have something to do. It can perhaps try to solve poverty, or it can find people in the country to call racist and then call them it, which is something. The latter gets you media attention, so you may want to do more of that one. The NAACP can also LIVE IT UP in Kansas City, America’s vacation destination. See, that’s three things right there, Weigel. [Kansas City Star]

 

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{ 141 comments }

actor212 July 12, 2010 at 4:08 pm

“I just don’t see racism in the tea party movement,” said Brendan Steinhauser

No, of course not. Why would you see racism in a movement that’s nearly all white and never socializes with their kind, anyway?

mcc July 12, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Maybe it is the NAACP that is racist against racists, did you ever think of that

I’m trying to decide if becoming Andrew Sullivan’s guest blogger is better or worse than going to the Huffington Post. It’s a tough call.

Redhead July 12, 2010 at 4:10 pm

“‘I just don’t see racism in the tea party movement,’ said Brendan Steinhauser”

Glad to see the teabaggers are embracing the blind, at least.

facehead July 12, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Alvin Greene will gay AND interacially marry the NAACP and the TEA PARTY, this sunday:

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/07/12/alvin-green-to-make-first-speech-since-upset-win/?fbid=EMDYAv09gFG

chascates July 12, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Since the NAACP promotes the welfare of a specific racial group is would be considered illegal in Arizona.

GOPCrusher July 12, 2010 at 4:13 pm

All the racists affiliated with the Tea Bagger Movement are Democratic plants with the mission to bring down the Tea Bagger Movement.

JMP July 12, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Obviously, the NAACP are the real racists, because they call black people “colored”, and call out people for saying racist things which is so much worse than actual racism. It’s too bad they’ve become so much more political, civil rights was not a political issue back in the day.

Of course the teabaggers have a lot in common with the civil rights movement; both are/were angry over perceived injustices, it’s just that the ones the civil rights folks protested actually existed instead of being a product of fevered imaginations.

memzilla July 12, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Is calling racists racists, racist? It may look like a Zen question, but it’s not, really… not when you’re talking about the Tea Klux Klan, a movement that has only slightly fewer Confederate flags in it than a NASCAR race or South Carolina state capitol.

weejee July 12, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Is no TP racism kinda like no reference to drugs in 60′s music?

BarackMyWorld July 12, 2010 at 4:18 pm

The NAACP can also LIVE IT UP in Kansas City, America’s vacation destination.

Those aren’t vacationers. Those are unemployed teachers.

Dear Diorama July 12, 2010 at 4:21 pm

“The zoo has an African,” soooo–

SayItWithWookies July 12, 2010 at 4:22 pm

The teabagger organizations are just chock full of feminists and civil-rights activists. Just because their policies only help rich white Republican males doesn’t mean they can’t conceivably help everybody — that’s why the liberals are so biased — they want to redistribute this nation’s wealth from the people who worked so hard to get the laws changed to let them steal everyone’s money in the first place. Now imagine if one of these rich white males was actually a black woman. See — that’s how racist the liberals are, making hypothetical black women who pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps pay slave reparations. They ought to be ashamed of themselves.

HipHopOpotamus July 12, 2010 at 4:22 pm

I’m a person. Bret’s a person. You’re a person. That person over there is a person. And each person deserves to be treated like a person.

Airborne Toxic Event July 12, 2010 at 4:22 pm

It’s not racist to long for the America of your youth. I mean, other than the Jim Crow part. We gave Byrd a pass, come on.

carlgt1 July 12, 2010 at 4:25 pm

it’s like when religious zealots screech they are persecuted, because people are intolerant of their intolerance!

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 12, 2010 at 4:26 pm

If you had listen to Glen Beck today, Jack, you would realize that Glen and the Teabaggers are the only ones who stand between us and the up-coming race war to be waged against all right thinking Americans by the four remaining members of the Black Panthers.

Helter Skelter!

WriteyWriterton July 12, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Deficit Commission will study and recommend solutions to Tea Party’s racism-deficit, which only can be fixed by raising racism revenues, reducing racism expenditures, or a combination of both.

finallyhappy July 12, 2010 at 4:29 pm

[re=615591]memzilla[/re]: This is what happened when we protested outside the RNC- asking them to condemn the racism of the teabaggers. Two GOPers told us -loudly-(and they got into the media more than us) that we were the racists -we were politicizing racism. Of course, the two GOPers were white and we were a diverse group. The loudmouth also kept interupting our speakers- because a white man should always have the word over black women or anyone else who is not a white man.

Ducksworthy July 12, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Yes yes and in the words of that old Negro Spiritual “Lord free my people form the yoke of tax slavery!”

loquaciousmusic July 12, 2010 at 4:29 pm

[re=615588]chascates[/re]: Ironically enough, since the “Tea Party” also promotes the welfare of a specific racial group, they are also illegal in Arizona.

Snarkalicious July 12, 2010 at 4:29 pm

OK, Jack…I’ll help out with the whole clicks issue if you’re playing that angle today.

live teens:lubricant:oil spill:Megan Fox nude:Google:bulk inflatable sheep:Lohan prison sex

You’re welcome.

Potater July 12, 2010 at 4:30 pm

The teapartiers are the spirtiual successors of an open socialist who called for boycotts of private business and supported federal troops enforcing desegregation. Gotcha.

I guess they do have some common ground in that MLK weren’t too big on the race-mixin’ neither.

Gorillionaire July 12, 2010 at 4:32 pm

My grandfather always insisted that he wasn’t racist, too. He only suggested that I hire a “colored man” to clean my gutters because “they are too lazy to get real jobs and around the end of the month the welfare check runs out.” Of course my grandfather also used to go into the “speaking in tongues” routine everytime he said grace at Sunday dinner, and he also believed that Jesus had short hair just like Ronald Reagan.

Troubledog July 12, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I love that sign. It’s like the Teabagger SAT test.

Let’s all do Teabagger Inversion Word Play.

1) If a group of leprechauns is a pack of cunning little runts, then a girls’ track team is a bunch of running little ________.

a. founding fathers
b. illegal immigrants
c. redistribution of wealth
e. lamestream media

BobTheBuilder July 12, 2010 at 4:34 pm

If Martin Luther King were alive today, he would be so proud of Glenn Beck, Michele Bachmann, and “Lyin’ African” lady.

imissopus July 12, 2010 at 4:36 pm

The Teabaggers, these are the folks who embraced Rand Paul, the Senate candidate who talked about the Civil Rights Act of 1964 being a mistake because it went too far in ordering businesses to not be racist? Move along folks, nothing to see here.

Ducksworthy July 12, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Remember when the Gopers were calling Social Security a Ponzi Scheme? I guess it wouldn’t bother you so much ti find out that the whole economy is a Ponzi scheme, if you get to be Charley Ponzi. Organized by the Gop and abetted by selected (for culling) dems.

Tim July 12, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Who in hell is Dave Wiegel?

GOPCrusher July 12, 2010 at 4:41 pm

“Tea party supporters also have a distorted view of race relations, the resolution says, citing poll data that found that 25 percent believe that the Obama administration’s policies favor blacks over whites, and 52 percent believe that “too much” has been made of the problems facing black people, compared with 28 percent of the general population.”

Yes, the blacks need to just get over the 300 years of oppression. And the 35.4% of the current prison population that are black males is just proof that they choose to be incarcerated.

edgydrifter July 12, 2010 at 4:45 pm

See, the baggers aren’t REALLY racist because at least 5% of them genuinely take the “states’ rights” argument at face value. Plus, several dozen of them have a “best friend” who would not ordinarily be allowed to eat at the table with them. Big tent.

Ducksworthy July 12, 2010 at 4:45 pm

[re=615612]Gorillionaire[/re]: In my youth I worked with a German immigrant who used to say things like Vas der Fuhrer vas alive he vould know what to do mit zees schwartzes. Of course to be fair he hated the Irish too, for much the same reasons. These Teabaggers are his spiritual heirs.

Jim89048 July 12, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Dave Weigel is stuck in Alaska this week
He’s gonna get hookworms, if he’s doing what I think he’s doing…

Prommie July 12, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Mojo Nixon had a talk show on Sirius radio called “Lying Cocksuckers,” during which he would rant about all the lying cocksuckers. The teabaggers are all lying cockcuckers, except they’re too stupid to know they are lying, and they probably give miserable head, and that rarely, because they think sucking dick is nasty, and not the most beautiful, spiritual, and divine act of love possible for human beings to engage in.

Joshua Norton July 12, 2010 at 4:57 pm

First of all they need to have some sort of concept about what racism actually entails. These jackwads obviously think that “racism” has something to do with NASCAR or horses. To them, calling someone a “dumb coon” is just everyday English. See? It’s a kkkultural thing.

Surfeit O'Hubris July 12, 2010 at 4:57 pm

Will the NAACP also pass a resolution indicating that bears defecate in wooded areas?

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 12, 2010 at 4:57 pm

If you have the ability to make Stormfront and PUMAs look innocuous, you’re probably fucking racists.

Extemporanus July 12, 2010 at 5:01 pm

“The Teabaggers should handle their racial problems more responsibly, and set themselves on fire.”

-Dave Weigel

Uh-oh…Journolist strikes again!

Katydid July 12, 2010 at 5:04 pm

It just goes to show, you can take the libertarian out of the insanity, but you can’t take the insanity out of the libertarian.

foulmouthed mrscreant July 12, 2010 at 5:08 pm

[re=615598]HipHopOpotamus[/re]: There ain’t no party like my nana’s tea partay, hey, yo….

Limeylizzie July 12, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Hmmm Mr Steinhauser…a German racist, golly that seems very unlikely, no history of that whatsoever.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 12, 2010 at 5:16 pm

Calling them “teabaggers” is racist, because it’s grouping them all together as people who do one particular thing, which is communist and unfair.

Troubledog July 12, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Hi, I’m Jeff Foxworthy, kind of pandering formulaic localized folksy family friendly stand up comedy, and I have some good news: YOU MIGHT NOT BE A RACIST.

If your church has moved the rebel flag from the flagpole out front to the back room where the gun club meets on Tuesdays, YOU ARE NOT A RACIST

If you took your WalMart purchases to the self-service checkstand instead of letting the black clerk touch your items, but you didn’t actually walk further to the checkstand with the white clerk, YOU ARE NOT A RACIST

If you passed an interracial couple holding hands, and did not organize a lynch mob, YOU ARE NOT A RACIST

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Is this enough to get the Weigel page-view gold?

You want the page-view gold, Jack? You want the fucking page-view gold?!

Just three little words for you:

PALIN HOOKWORM CONJECTURE.

Go ahead, Google it. Where’s Wonkette? Top Two, Maybe Three you say? Many of your brave readers are speaking out because that just sounds like it’s the right thing to do.

Does it to you?

Troubledog July 12, 2010 at 5:43 pm

[re=615662]user-of-owls[/re]: Palin Hookworm Conjecture sounds like a Robert Ludlum novel.

EdFlinstone July 12, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Every good teabagger knows the government is taking 121% of their hard earned, white, working people income to pay taxes that supports 151% of the federal budget that goes to the lazy minorities on welfare. Theres barely any money left over for their social security, medicare and the defense department. Its simple FoxNews arithmetic sheeple.

Snarkalicious July 12, 2010 at 5:45 pm

[re=615631]Prommie[/re]: So…you and Mojo think we should, what? Get them to lay claim to the term “Chickenfucker” somehow? While this would be in the best interest of truth/justice, I find it an unlikely endeavor. I will, however, offer ten bucks and a hand-job to anyone who can make it stick.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 12, 2010 at 5:50 pm

[re=615662]user-of-owls[/re]: Wonkette is racists against the Wormer Movement. Being a Wormer at at Wonkette is just like being the Little Rock Nine at Central High.

agitpropster July 12, 2010 at 5:51 pm

[re=615634]Joshua Norton[/re]: “To them, calling someone a “dumb coon” is just everyday English.”

Everyday English. Just like Hook ‘Em Horns.

Austin. Where “uppity” 60′s UT black activist Lee Otis Johnson had one joint planted on him by the campus narcs for which he spent ten years in a TDC bean field using a hoe with the first two feet sawn off. That’s so one scatter-gun totin’ “boss” on horseback can look out over 200 convicts and see who’s working and who ain’t. The story goes that our late departed governor Dolph Briscoe was having lunch with the Dean one afternoon while a bunch of student radicals kept chanting “FREE LEE OTIS! FREE LEE OTIS!” outside his private faculty dining room window. As he was getting up to leave he snickered out loud, “…what in the hail are those filthy longhairs screamin’ ‘FRIJOLES! FRIJOLES!’ fer when they know goddamn-well that brisket is on the menu today.”

Long before John Oliver, Willie and The Go-Go’s played there, the Paramount on South Congress had the pleasant distinction of being the very last motion picture theatre in America to be desegregated after the Civil Rights Act in ’64. The “Colored” balcony signs didn’t come down until a year later…

…and of course no one in line at the Whole Foods flagship store will tell you that ever since its dedication in 1999 the statue of Dr. King on campus has regularly been whitewashed and vandalized. It now has a 24-hour security guard assigned to it.

Austin. Crack -uh, slacker paradise.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 12, 2010 at 5:56 pm

“Colored” signs is racist. Thank Jesus for the Republicans, the only people who stood up to the Black Panthers and Malcolm X who put them up all over the south. Only Glenn Beck can stop Barry X and Eric X Holder from doing it again.

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 6:01 pm

[re=615676]OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin[/re]: If Wonkette had its way, it would sentence the entire leadership of the Hookworm National Congress to life on Robben Island.

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 6:02 pm

[re=615667]Troubledog[/re]: It does. But this thriller is real.

smitallica July 12, 2010 at 6:07 pm

“I just don’t see racism in the tea party movement,’ said Brendan Steinhauser. “One of our leader’s signs clearly said NIGGAR. When you spell it that way, it’s a term of endearment. Like SPEARCHUKKAR or FAGGUT.”

Katydid July 12, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Jack Stuef July 12, 2010 at 6:10 pm

[re=615662]user-of-owls[/re]: WILL YOU ALL PLEASE LET ME DO MY JOB? I AM WORKING ON IT. JOURNALISM TAKES TIME.

you didn't ask, but July 12, 2010 at 6:17 pm

Racists have always done this shit. The vilest motherfucker on the planet (pick your favorite) *never* say they are vile. They’ve always got a “reason”. (“Protect the white wimmins!”, “The black’ll rub off on you!”, “They wuz askin’ for it!”, etc.) I think fucking Beck did the dog-whistle shit on this with his lamebrain effort to co-opt the MLK D.C. “I have a Dream Speech” ethos (with his bullshitty rally) that symbolizes the Civil Rights movement for many Americans. These fucking klansfolk-lite aren’t content w/ the history of stealing humans, other folks’ land and anything else. They have to steal their symbols, too.

[re=615662]user-of-owls[/re]: speaking of googling, if you google white civil rights, you’ll get the direct line from these mother fuckers back to their white supremacist leaders. Literal, figurative and obfuscating Klanners have been using this language for some time, including David Dukkke.

Fuck these fucking asshole dumbfuck fucking racist fucks.

you didn't ask, but July 12, 2010 at 6:30 pm

[re=615603]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Holy fucking shit! You nailed that, motherfucker.
[re=615655]Troubledog[/re]: Damn, what the fuck do you have to do to be a racist to these people?

Oh and um: No the NAACP *doesn’t* have more important things to do. Speaking out against racism is their fucking *job*. I really do hope they move forward with this resolution.

From their website: (excerpted)

Vision Statement
The vision of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is to ensure a society in which all individuals have equal rights without discrimination based on race.

Objectives
The following statement of objectives is found on the first page of the NAACP Constitution – the principal objectives of the Association shall be:

To inform the public of the adverse effects of racial discrimination and to seek its elimination

So STFU, stupid fucks. Just GTFO, no qualifiers, just git.

MarieDeGournay July 12, 2010 at 6:34 pm

White people: the perpetual victims of mean, ol’ nasty historical justice.

facehead July 12, 2010 at 6:35 pm

THE SALMON FISHERMAN USES AN ALASKAN WORM ON HIS HOOK,

AND ALASKAN POLITICS HAS A HOOKER WITH HOOKWORMS.

GET IT?

Obamas Left Testicle July 12, 2010 at 6:36 pm

It is always unnerving to watch liberals talk about race issues in all of their full-faced, spittle-flecked fury. Of course, black families have suffered terribly under their policies, black men especially, who continue to get no respect in our society. Of course, liberals *must* keep their boots on the black man’s throat, because if conservative policies of color-blind merit were followed, they wouldn’t have any need to propitiate you any longer. *You* are the ones marching in lock-step unison with that great civil rights leader, Robert Byrd (D-CLAN) but please, don’t trouble your eensy little noggins to ever stick anywhere near the truth.

mcc July 12, 2010 at 6:38 pm

[re=615709]MarieDeGournay[/re]: The long arc of history is REVERSE RACIST.

chascates July 12, 2010 at 6:38 pm

[re=615694]Jack Stuef[/re]: Journalism? This site has journalism?

mcc July 12, 2010 at 6:39 pm

What would marching in lock step with a dead man even *mean?*

Wouldn’t that be just, like… standing still?

AnnieGetYourFun July 12, 2010 at 6:39 pm

[re=615709]MarieDeGournay[/re]: I feel so sorry for white people. Mostly because of the small penis thing*, but also because people just don’t seem to want to forgive them for ANYTHING!

*Statement has not been verified recently, as white men are not my “thing”.

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 6:40 pm

[re=615694]Jack Stuef[/re]: JOURNALISM TAKES TIME

Well how the hell was I supposed to know? It’s not like I would have gleaned that from reading WaPo columnists, Politico or Chuck Grassley’s Twitter. Geez.

On a more serious note…It’s happening. It’s finally happening.

Obamas Left Testicle July 12, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Oh and let’s not forget your blindingly egalitarian treatment of conservative politician Sarah Palin, which is topped only by your scrupulously non-sexist treatment of Hillary Clinton. All hail the majesty of the Liberal Civil Rights (and couture evaluating) Machine!

Maus July 12, 2010 at 6:43 pm

[re=615717]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Forgive them?! It is they who are the oppressed minority!

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 6:46 pm

We here at PalinHookwormConjecturePAC have free brochures explaining in simple terms how the Palin hookworm menace threatens America.

Perhaps you know of an Angry Piece of Presidential Genitalia that could use our handy brochure. Just visit our website and we’ll show you how to order today!

Jukesgrrl July 12, 2010 at 6:55 pm

[re=615631]Prommie[/re]: It’s not that it’s nasty, they just can’t continue their endless stream of imaginative jabber when they have dick in their mouths. If liberals would take a holiday from their totally gay sex antics, they might get some bills passed. Ya got no government without TALK.

HedonismBot July 12, 2010 at 6:57 pm

[re=615602]carlgt1[/re]: That’s the biggest bunch of BS. A few years ago, Montana Republicans tried to pass a law (further) illegalizing gay marriage. The Christian conservative argument went as follows: “By depriving me of the ability to discriminate against gay people, the government is discriminating against my religious beliefs.”
People suck.

Rotundo July 12, 2010 at 6:59 pm

[re=615711]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Thankyou Judge Thomas!

Extemporanus July 12, 2010 at 7:01 pm

[re=615716]mcc[/re]: ZOMG! DEMONCRAP ZOMBEEZ MARCHING BAND!!1

zhubajie July 12, 2010 at 7:08 pm

[re=615590]JMP[/re]: Teatards are the sort of people who would have been spectators at lynchings.

imissopus July 12, 2010 at 7:08 pm

[re=615721]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Busy now. Too many black people to keep kicking in the nuts. Can you come back around, say, five-ish?

zhubajie July 12, 2010 at 7:14 pm

[re=615597]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Teatards want to be slaveowners. Don’t want to be the slave? You must be a liberal!

zhubajie July 12, 2010 at 7:16 pm

[re=615629]Jim89048[/re]: Send the bastard to sea.

Bz July 12, 2010 at 7:24 pm

[re=615711]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Unbelievable gaul…

EdFlinstone July 12, 2010 at 7:24 pm

Shouldn’t you be Obama’s right testicle? Man you people really do have a fetish with ball bags. Yes we here at Wonkette are down right mean to the nitwit, quitter, half-term grifting governor $t. $arah. Im sure Hillary would like to thank those conservatives who so nicely only accused her of and investigated her for murder.

facehead July 12, 2010 at 7:33 pm

[re=615745]EdFlinstone[/re]: [re=615744]Bz[/re]: I think he’s part of that very small “Teabaggers for Obama” movement. Hence the reference to a testicle, and Obama, and hence everything else as well.

mumblyjoe July 12, 2010 at 7:33 pm

[re=615721]Obamas Left Testicle[/re] is right, guys. It was totally sexist of us not to nominate Hillary because she had already been a piñata for the right wing for roughly a decade and it would have been literally their dream come true to run against her, and that pales in comparison to the fact that he and his friends were asking the ‘excellent question’ of “How to beat the bitch”, or all those times they called Chelsea a dog, and it was totally not racist, or sexist when they called Sasha and Malia “nappy headed hos”, or kept circulating those rumors of the Michelle Obama “whitey tape”. I mean, how could that possibly be racist, compared to taxing skin cancer machines?

glamourdammerung July 12, 2010 at 7:33 pm

[re=615711]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Do you need a tissue after that crying jag?

Redhead July 12, 2010 at 7:35 pm

[re=615721]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: I can’t tell if you’re mocking teabaggers or an actual teabagger. When life mimics art which mimics life which mimics art…

rocktonsammy July 12, 2010 at 7:37 pm

Teabaggers will deny they’re racist, win in 2010 and 2012 then ask, for forgiveness, unity and welcome secretary of state Bristol Palin.

mcc July 12, 2010 at 7:38 pm

Redhead, it’s called “Poe’s Law”.

Redhead July 12, 2010 at 7:44 pm

[re=615757]mcc[/re]: Quoth the raven, “nevermore! But I’m a BLACK raven, so you won’t listen to me but will make posters saying I should be put in a zoo”? :)

AnnieGetYourFun July 12, 2010 at 7:47 pm

[re=615723]Maus[/re]: Can I take a moment to say how much I love Wonkette? Ever since that traitorous traitor Newell left for Gawker, I have found myself over there, perusing the articles, enjoying some of the commenters, and frequently battling with overly sensitive white people who think that a handle like “3kids-sotired” is clever.

[re=615751]mumblyjoe[/re]: To be perfectly fair, I think they referred to the Obama kids’ cousin, who was wearing baggy pants, as “ghetto trash.” So, you know, there’s that.

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 7:54 pm

Why don’t we all just cut to the chase already and tell the Testicle-American to eat a bag of lightly salted hookworm dicks.

mumblyjoe July 12, 2010 at 7:54 pm

[re=615721]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Oh, and Palin. Yup, that’s right: disliking an obviously deficient candidate who can’t answer a simple softball question like “what newspapers do you read” with a coherent thought is sexist, but carrying signs featuring the word “niggar”(sic) or suggesting that Obama’s isn’t actually an American, or at very least, that he’s an “Arab” who “pals around with terrorists” is, you know, totally the opposite of racism. In fact, it means [i]Obama’s[/i] a racist, which is the WORST thing you can say about someone, at least if that someone is white supremacist pal James O’Keefe, rather than the President of the United States.

Radiotherapy July 12, 2010 at 8:05 pm

You know who else ought to be worried about hookworms? These teabaggers. The lot of ‘em. Ass-to-mouth is a proven vector in the transmission of nematodal larvae. While undercooked grizzly (it’s gamey/greasy anyway) and moose chili have been thoroughly discussed here previously, the fecal-oral route amongst the palin clan (that includes Levi the lying liar) is the probable cause. And isn’t palin like queen of the teabaggers?

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 12, 2010 at 8:25 pm

It always tickles me when these knuckledragging wifebeaters try to lecture others on “sexism”, now that Sarah Palin taught them the word isn’t just used by feminazi lesbians destroying the fabric of society.

“Civil rights” is now the rights of businesses to put up whites-only signs. Anyone who disagrees is a racist.

Equal rights is special rights, which has always been socialism and communism. Everybody knows god created people unequally so who do these people are to think the Constitution meant them, too, wtf.

There is NO difference between the kkk vision of government and Beck, Limbaugh, teabaggers, etc. None. But watch them scream robert byrd at the drop of a hat.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 12, 2010 at 8:28 pm

[re=615740]zhubajie[/re]: That’s racist against slave owners. God gave them the right, but the government took it away. And the confederate flag is about heritage, not hate, which is why the Party of Lincoln waves it. And if you hate the confederate flag, you’re racist because slavery was not about race it was about economics which was why the civil war wuz fought.

HedonismBot July 12, 2010 at 8:29 pm

[re=615761]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:
“To be perfectly fair, I think they referred to the Obama kids’ cousin, who was wearing baggy pants, as “ghetto trash.” So, you know, there’s that.”
I am pretty sure the majority of baggy pants wearers (just like the majority of backwards-hat wearers) are suburban white kids. So, you know, there’s that. (Yes, I know, you were being snarky. For every teabagger who hates/fears black people, there is a confused white kid trying to ape black culture.)

weejee July 12, 2010 at 8:34 pm

[re=615721]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: My, oh my, you have returned. How, and when, shall you fill us poor lefty cretins with the depth of your knowledge?

Perhaps you will fill us in on why old Uncle Al used tensors in his Theory General Relativity. No, well how about something from literature like why the title of the book Finnegan’s Wake might be a pun about the cat-like Finn McCool? No again? Well for sure you have to be up on how UpChuck Norris has been telling the whole world that Nobama just hates the Boy Scouts and their Eagles.

Please oh please, dear Left Nut, send our dinky little librual heads spinning with your profundity.

just pixels July 12, 2010 at 8:42 pm

Hellooo. Green Tea, Black Tea and yes, White Tea. All the colors of the tea rainbow. Where’s the racism? Where’s the racism?

weejee July 12, 2010 at 8:46 pm

[re=615765]My Dear Feathered Friend[/re], I may be mistaken but I think a number of our colleagues have previously made suggestions to OLT for a variety of penile appetizers, flambé and otherwise, that are available from the Wonkette refreshment stand at CSO #053.

V572625694 July 12, 2010 at 8:47 pm

“LIVE IT UP in Kansas City, America’s vacation destination.”

More geo-elitism from the Peripheral American staff at our Wonkette. Remember, Real America — the American part of America, as Sarah called it — starts at Denver and ends at Cleveland. People living outside these zones but still within the territorial boundaries of the so-called “United States” are marginal by definition.

Katydid July 12, 2010 at 8:57 pm

Today we are all morally inconsistent testicular trolls, ones that use green-tinted avatars of Neda, even as we worship at the hookwormy feet of monsters like Sarah Palin, who wants to blow up Neda’s parents.

you didn't ask, but July 12, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Yo. Wonketters are the shit. Seriously. I’m taking two seconds off work and was all pissed at these fucking Klansmen (hey, douche troll: you can’t even spell fucking Klan w/ a K? You *think* that’d be a word you’d know Moran.) Anyway. I was pissed and then this fucktard decides to weigh in with his wagging finger. I just checked y’all out batting this fucking cat toy around like the inadequate object of ridicule he (I assume he=testicle) is. I was all starbursts and shit.

Golf clap including [re=615717]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Also too: Calling Dr. Fucking Freud, Mr. Obvious. Get the fuck off the black man’s dick, with that moniker, Jeez. [re=615779]HedonismBot[/re]: Oops! [re=615761]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: You are on your fucking game today, girl. [re=615734]Rotundo[/re]: That was too fucking cute! [re=615765]user-of-owls[/re]: Of course…glad you said it.

EdFlinstone July 12, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Obviously no racism in teabagger land, just ask the republican African-American congressional caucus and their zero members. Now back to FoxNews and wall to wall coverage about how the 6 remaining black panthers are going to prevent every white person from ever voting!!!!

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 12, 2010 at 9:33 pm

Sorry to get all serious and dramatic, but the original Black Panthers despise these NBPP cranks http://bit.ly/dsg8zx.

Obamas Left Testicle July 12, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Not to belabor my original point, but it is somewhat unnerving to watch all of you libs twist yourselves into tiny little knots, trying to avoid confronting your own racist tendencies. If you happen to know any black people (I’m sure many are your friends), why don’t you go ask them if you are blameless?

I take back the Byrd insult. You all clearly know much more about the KKK than I do.

I didn’t ask your butt: Hey, I was Clinton’s left testicle, too. I am an equal opportunity dangler.

Hemp Dogbane July 12, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Minority opinion, but Left Nut’s comment seemed like sublime parody to me.

Also, I was Sully’s guest blogger, if he would have published any of the 67 posts I sent him. Much easier to guest blog here.

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 10:05 pm

Hey you! Yes, you the Testicle-American. You know, it’s not “libs” that twist themselves into tiny little knots. It’s “hookworms.” And did you also know that Sarah Palin has hookworms? No? Well ask away, because any number of fine people here would by happy to tell you all about the Palin Hookworm Conjecture.

Joshua Norton July 12, 2010 at 10:12 pm

Y’know – There are times when some smug wingnut douche nozzle may almost make a little bit of sense. This isn’t one of them.

imissopus July 12, 2010 at 10:32 pm

I think Trolly McTrollstein is spoiling for a fight. You can’t fool us, Trolly. We know you are a plant to distract us from talking about the Palin hookworm situation. Well, Wonkette will not be stopped from getting the truth about Palin and her hookworms out there. This cover-up cannot stand!

[re=615811]Joshua Norton[/re]: I know, right? It’s so nonsensical there isn’t even a logical or reasoned response.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 12, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Ballsy is obviously another shill for the pro-asthma lobby here to disrupt discussions of the truth.

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 10:39 pm

[re=615816]imissopus[/re]: Stand tall brother!

Darkness July 12, 2010 at 10:46 pm

The autocomplete is not yet engaged at google, you guys! Run your “palin hookworm” searches early and often. If I type in too many letters anyway I’m still only getting “Palin Hooked on Phonics”, which I guess is a good thing as she probably needed to learn to read to pretend to write a book and all . . .

smitallica July 12, 2010 at 10:46 pm

[re=615721]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: We liberals were never sexist against Sarah Palin. We hate her because she is an idiot, not just because she is a cunt.

BigWhiteCloud July 12, 2010 at 10:51 pm

[re=615810]user-of-owls[/re]: Wow, I didn’t know about the Sarah Palin hookworm situation. I looked up hookworms on the Wikipedia and didn’t realize how gross a Palin hookworm infestation could be. I sure hope any Palins infected with hookworms get appropriate treatment as quickly as possible.

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 10:57 pm

shhh. quiet everybody, just listen. if you hurry on over to our one-time warblogging allies at estado rojo and check the top-most open thread, you might just catch something that puts a squiggly, slippery, nematodey tear in your eye. hurry, hurry. and sshhhhh!

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 10:59 pm

[re=615821]Darkness[/re]: [re=615823]BigWhiteCloud[/re]: As our friend Darkness pointed out, now would be a good time to run ‘palin hookworm’ through the googles. Again, and again, and again…

tribbzthesquidz July 12, 2010 at 11:06 pm

Wonketteerz are sooo fabulouso. If I had friends, they’d be you guys.

Darkness July 12, 2010 at 11:09 pm

[re=615829]tribbzthesquidz[/re]: I often think the same.

Sniff. Damn, now I need another drink.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 12, 2010 at 11:09 pm

[re=615822]smitallica[/re]: You should see the terms Nuzzler of Nards has for us liberal women. But they’re very quick to cry sexism when someone makes fun of Sarah’s haircuts.

Radiotherapy July 12, 2010 at 11:16 pm

[re=615823]BigWhiteCloud[/re]: They haven’t denied it yet, so treatment is not an option.
[re=615821]Darkness[/re]: [re=615821]Darkness[/re]: ‘ hookworm palin’ is still #1,#2 at yahoo. It’s all the headers that score. The wise, nocturnal, eagle-eye has hit patriotic paydirt. Viva España.

If I went on ‘the hill’ or some shit site like that and called myself Reagans Ischemic Cerebral Hemisphere, oh wouldn’t that be funny??!? Wouldn’t it be RICH! Send in the clowns. OLT, you are a fucking payaso.

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 11:32 pm

[re=615834]Radiotherapy[/re]: *jumping up and down* Didn’t you see my post?! Go, go like the wind!

[re=615824]user-of-owls[/re]:

p.s. For some odd reason, the commenter appears to have a soft spot for birds. Now who on earth would have such a thing?

Dashboard_Buddha July 12, 2010 at 11:47 pm

[re=615597]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “they want to redistribute this nation’s wealth from the people who worked so hard to get the laws changed to let them steal everyone’s money in the first place.”

That may be the best description of the US as I have seen in a long time.

user-of-owls July 12, 2010 at 11:51 pm

[re=615839]user-of-owls[/re]: HA HA HA! Best evah! Now the RS conspiratorialists are actually blaming the poor goofy schlub who posted the hookworm question ON ME! “lover of owls or something”!1

Oh, this is like …I don’t even know, I’m speechless.

imissopus July 13, 2010 at 12:03 am

[re=615818]user-of-owls[/re]: Forty acres and a hookworm!

Radiotherapy July 13, 2010 at 12:07 am

[re=615841]user-of-owls[/re]: fizzlenuts, I got this when I tried to post: Error: You have not been registered long enough to comment.
But you my friend have broke this wide open. Journalism can wait no longer.
Mr. Stuef, time to stand tall!!1!

imissopus July 13, 2010 at 12:17 am

[re=615832]OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin[/re]: A few days ago on another thread the Nard Nuzzler got into it with another commenter and ended by telling her to come on over here and “suck my dick, bitch.” So yeah, not real impressed with his screams about the sexizms.

It’s boring when they have so little imagination. Had he invited her to eat a bait bucket full of hookworm dicks, he might have at least gotten a point for attempting clever wording.

you didn't ask, but July 13, 2010 at 12:18 am

[re=615841]user-of-owls[/re]: There is no way to keep up with you crazy motherfuckers! Congratulations.

BigWhiteCloud July 13, 2010 at 12:47 am

[re=615841]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=615846]Radiotherapy[/re]: I went to the estado rojo site, as a first time visitor, to comment on the Palin Hookworm Conjecture. Jeebus, you guys owe me. Any Palin hookworms who can read and have internet access owe me.

Radiotherapy July 13, 2010 at 1:03 am

[re=615850]BigWhiteCloud[/re]: I paraphrase the great Extemporanus from earlier today: palin (hookworms) is/are not Indian givers. However, I do believe PalinHookwormConjecturePAC® now accepts PayPal, Visa, and American Express,

Obamas Left Testicle July 13, 2010 at 1:15 am

El rojo del estado le ha entendido los vaqueros. Usted es una porción fina de idiotas.

imissopus July 13, 2010 at 1:32 am

Hey hey, speak Messican somewhere else. This is Amurica, we speak Amurcan.

Radiotherapy July 13, 2010 at 1:49 am

[re=615854]imissopus[/re]: Our fine feathery friend got the the blamstick (Oooh, the Germans!) or whatever at Redneck State. But he did get to the second page on google palin hookworm with his endeavor.

[re=615852]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Cualquier, nombre de retraso, como que dije antes, usted es una jodienda payaso.

BigWhiteCloud July 13, 2010 at 2:02 am

However if you’re a sloppy typist (or drunk) and google “palin hookwroms” you will get “did you mean ‘palin hookworms?’ and a number one result for Wonkette. Just mentioning that, y’all.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin July 13, 2010 at 2:17 am

[re=615848]imissopus[/re]: I do enjoy watching Sarah make them gag on the word “sexism”, much less manipulate them into lashing out in such a PC manner against random opponents on the internet.

I notice that crowd is not doing as well with “racism” and “i have a dream”, though. I can’t wait to see what they try to do with “homophobia”. One possibility: calling teabaggers in homophobic. So what if they all behave the same, try to look the same, and aspire to cannibalize a certain person’s Nards. They were endowed by the creator!

Snarkalicious July 13, 2010 at 2:42 am

[re=615808]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Uh…you tossed out an unsubstantiated claim that our preferred policies are racist (YEAH WELL YOUR MOM SMELLS LIKE LEPER COCK ALSO TOO!!! WAAAAHHHHHHH! I’M RHETORICALLY BANKRUPT!!!!1! is basically how that translated in my head, fyi), so we said ‘tits or gtfo’[sic]. How have we failed to properly respond? Plz to esplane.

El Pinche July 13, 2010 at 2:55 am

[re=615808]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Ha, once again, you’re avoiding the topic of the Palin Hookworm Conjecture.

By the way, I know one of you libtards authored the Ableton Live 8 user’s manual. “Series of tubes”, “Walnutz!” , “Drum tracks. Also.” Comeon!

BarackMyWorld July 13, 2010 at 5:40 am

Now, I’m not saying the Tea Party activists are racist, but they do seem to have a deep-seat hatred of non-white people and non-white cultures.

Redhead July 13, 2010 at 8:23 am

[re=615860]El Pinche[/re]: NOW I understand Brent Furer! He was just trying to cut the hookworms out of his girlfriend after she caught them from Sarah!

Oblios Cap July 13, 2010 at 8:41 am

I blame McCain for bringing that quitter Palin down to the Lower 48 and allowing the spread of her hookworms.

In fairness, I guess he didn’t think that Kristol and Lowry would be rushing in to tongue the old girl’s bunghole with such fervor and then spread the pandemic to spread to the rest of the National Review staff and associated other “writers” on wingnut welfare.

Rumor has it that Ewick son of Ewick at RS is the latest to be infected.

4tehlulz July 13, 2010 at 8:51 am

NO FAKE TAN, NO PEACE!

Darkness July 13, 2010 at 10:46 am

[re=615834]Radiotherapy[/re]: It’s not the result list we’re working on (hopefully that’ s a given), it’s the autocomplete. When you go to the google and start typing in the box, a popup of suggested completions comes up down below. (unless you’ve disabled it) That’s based on popularity of certain search strings. So we needs moar Palin hookworms being typed into the box so that when someone just types in “palin”, the popup suggests “palin hookworm” like there might be something to that.

Sorry, not coherent yet today. Too much wine last night.

PsycGirl July 13, 2010 at 11:10 am

A handy guide to detecting racists from a born-and-raised Southerner:

“I’m not a racist”=”There is a good chance that I’m a racist”
“I’m not a racist, but….”=”There is a 100% chance that I’m a racist”

glamourdammerung July 13, 2010 at 1:08 pm

[re=615808]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: Not to belabor my original point.

You had no point at all. You were just making random baseless accusations to be an ass simply for the sake of it.

El Pinche July 13, 2010 at 1:34 pm

[re=615871]Redhead[/re]: I believe the Palin hookworm is the vehicle for the Conservative Mental Disorder.
Example: Rush Limballs, a known scat muncher, is riddled with hookworms.

Obamas Left Testicle is also a good documented case of the Palin hookworm; notice the pointless, random, retarded, and unfunny postings. His postings have hookworms from eating scat written all over them. We can’t blame everything on inbreeding and incest.

Maus July 13, 2010 at 4:36 pm

[re=615808]Obamas Left Testicle[/re]: “it is somewhat unnerving to watch all of you libs twist yourselves into tiny little knots, trying to avoid confronting your own racist tendencies.”

It’s true, us liberals are self-hating whites/jews and black/hispanic militants. Republicans and faux-libs like the PUMAs are only trying to preserve the white race from eradication.

ps: your troll-fu is weak.

Obamas Left Testicle July 14, 2010 at 4:19 am

Oh come on boys, stop being obtuse. We all know who has a vested interest in continuing the regime of institutional racism, and it certainly isn’t Republicans.

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