Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Opponent Ron Johnson Owns Lots of BP Stock

Despite Ernest J. Pagels, Jr.'s brilliant campaign against homosexuality, abortion, and pornography, the Wisconsin GOP Convention endorsed "Oshkosh businessman" (the place or the child overalls?) Ron Johnson. This afternoon the DSCC e-mailed us a press release letting us know that Ron Johnson owns stock in evil oil spiller British Petroleum. This is supposed to make us want to support the Democratic candidate Russ Feingold. Yet, the fact is, Russ Feingold also owns stock in businesses, some of which are probably also bad sometimes. You know who doesn't own stock in businesses? Ernest J. Pagels, Jr.

Well, we don't know that for sure. But he probably doesn't. It's a fair assessment based on our WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with the man. Oh, you want details from this interview? Hmm. Maybe . It would be more fun to just tease this thing for the rest of the week. Here's a detail: Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. does not accept outside donations, funding his campaign himself from funds originating in very similar places to those Alvin Greene used. OOH, YOU HAVE BEEN SO TEASED. (Yes, we are probably going to get sued if we ever post that thing.)

Johnson is one of two Republican candidates running for the seat held by Democratic U.S. Senator Russ Feingold. At a public forum in June, both he and challenger Dave Westlake criticized the federal government's treatment of BP.

Johnson accused the government of circumventing "the rule of law" in its treatment of the oil giant, according to an Associated Press report. And he has said it's not the time to be beating up on oil companies.

First of all, Wisconsin State Journal , there are more than two candidates in this race. There is also Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT.

Second of all, yes, Ron Johnson, now is certainly not the time to be beating up on oil companies. Global warming is advancing and the Gulf of Mexico is all covered in sludge? Yeah, that doesn't seem like the right time. Perhaps we can pencil this beat down in for a few decades from now when the oil is pretty much gone and Ron Johnson is dead and there are fewer profits to be made.

This all just shows how much America needs Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. in the Senate right now. He would pass a bill outlawing the Gulf of Mexico. [ Wisconsin State Journal via Wonkette operative "Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee"]