Bill Clinton Married Anthony Weiner This Weekend

 
 Our Google News Alert for "Bill Clinton weiner" has finally come through. On Saturday, Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York married some lady who used to work for Hillary Clinton. The gown was made by the bride's "good friend Oscar de la Renta," because of course he is and because everyone cares about who made clothes people wear. Was the groom's wedding costume made by Bill Clinton? The articles don't say, but he did officiate.

It also does not say how Clinton can officiate weddings. Is that something a former head of state can just do? Perhaps Clinton became a Universal Life minister? That's that thing on the Internet that lets you become a minister for free by just putting in your name and e-mail UNLESS YOU ARE A PET, WHICH IS ILLEGAL. (Full disclosure: Jack Stuef is actually the Rev. Jack Stuef because of the Universal Life Church and is available to perform Alvin Greene-themed weddings.)

We are BURYING THE LEDE, however, as this Jewish site notes. This Clinton aide is a Muslim! How can Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner destroy Israel with this terrorist marriage? They are trying to hide the terrorism by not having fellow Muslin Barack Obama officiate, but we know what is going on.

The bridegroom and bride both looked stunning and molemanish. [ NY Daily News / Reliable Source / Yeshiva World News ]