She uses it to light her cigarettes

Greetings, collectivist parasites! Ayn is back again in our amazing 6th chapter of Ayn Rand Adventures. If this is your first time checking in on Ayn, read from the beginning, or check the archive, where you can catch up before vomiting with your eyes.

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  1. Dig it. (But not sure the MAMA GRIZ has “dowdy” in her vocab. Too elitist. That would have to be ghost written into her brain by Simon and Shuster or whoever writes the book thingies.)

  2. As I was driving down the by-ways of Virginia last week, I saw a big ol two story Excursion with a sticker in the window asking “who is John Gault”. My first reaction was to smash into him and say “I am, motherfuc#er!” My second thought was for this comic strip. I’m disappointed to know that Rand Paul isn’t named after Ayn.

  3. You got one thing right here. Sarah Palin smokes pot!
    But only a passing reference to the Palin Hookworm Conjecture — collectivist parasites!?
    What do ypu think is infesting that pool?

  4. [re=615249]Knightro829[/re]: [re=615260]Bubberella[/re]:

    Then what the hell is he named after? South African currency? An Excel FUNCTION? Research and Development?

  5. I don’t know about the fact that Sarah Palin smokes pot. It is possible that her swimming pool is not infected with hookworms. Regardless of whether it is true that Sarah Palin has hookworms, it is not relevant to her political career. I have heard that swimming pools can become infested with trailer trash. The above ground pools are more likely to be infested, but the in-ground pools with the vinyl liners also have this problem.

  6. I love Sarah’s expression in that last frame — it seems to me that’s what she must’ve looked like the first time she took a Wasilla and then noticed the toilet bowl was filled with hookworm larvae.

  7. While that may not be a good representation of the real Wasilla Hillbilly compound (or maybe it is), it is a great representation of what happened with the little clique of ass-lickers who attached themselves to Ayn Rand back in the ’50s. I’m sure if Aynie could have afforded it she would have taken the boob job and coke mirror path herself but instead had to wallow in the adoration of her followers with their Übermensch delusions.

    Great work!

  8. Ayn Rand + muzzle brake yields comedy gold. These days, I more usually need to think of neuro-linguistic programming to laugh out loud.

    Q-dos, Mr. Frisch.

  9. [re=615265]user-of-owls[/re]: Do you believe in justice? If so, the answer is Malaria.

    [re=615278]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Oh, come on. You think they could tell it from baking soda anyhow? I’d just sell the fuckers crushed Ritalin out of pity.

  10. Maybe someone has already remarked on this, but it’s finally dawned on me that Benjamin’s art is Robert Crumb-esque.

    So Benjamin, is it fair to say that Crumb was an inspiration for you?

    Well done! The impression of Grizzly Mama is truly horrifying!

  11. Love the Cruella de Ville eyes that makes you want to hide your babies and puppies!
    This Palin bitch would snack on your kids. “Cause hell, it ain’t like they ain’t already been born.
    No abortion in that.

  12. [re=615287]Sleeves[/re]: Hah! You said “neuro-linguistic programming.” Reminds me of all that other 70s-80s psychobabble nonsense.

    “I’m OK. You’re So-so.”

  13. [re=615282]fishskicanoe[/re]:

    Not a good representation. Where’s the fence and the spying neighbor?


    If the Palin’s swimming pool is infested with hookworms, imagine what their gene pools like!!!1!! Also.

  14. [re=615258]WarAndG[/re]: Agreed. Palin would’ve called her a “dyke” or “lesbo” instead of Dowdy. Otherwise, this was the best one yet.

  15. I’m pretty sure that Randy is the name you call someone whose given name is Randall, unless you’re an Ayn Rand follower. While he may not have been named after her, I bet it didn’t bother the Paul family that people would make that connection.

  16. My favorite personal Ayn Rand story:

    Back in the 1970s, at UC Berkeley, there was a men’s restroom in Wheeler Hall (in which the Philosophy and Pol Sci Departments had some offices)that was famous for the “Graffitti Wars” conducted on the walls.

    Someone would write something pithy, which would trigger a series of responses and counter-responses, all of which were either very funny, very intelligent, or both.

    [It was sort a pre-Net version of Wonkette. Except that the post were funny, intelligent, etc. Oh, no avatars. And rarely any references to buttsek. (It was a different generation.)]

    Anyway, I pissed in there daily, just to keep up on the comment threads. One day I finally got up the courage to “post” my own comment. Having spent a drug-fueled weekend reading the thing, I naturally wrote: “Who is John Galt?”

    I came back the next day, to piss and to savor the response that my contribution was sure to provoke. There was only one response:

    “Oh, no, not you idiots AGAIN.”

    I never went back. I got a kidney stone a couple of years later, too. I think the two are connected.

    Professor Neilist, PhD
    Hugh Akston Endowed Chair of Money & Craphound Literature
    Patrick Henry University

  17. The only thing I’d have changed or added to this would be a set of Trucknutz for the ATV, and since it’s flying into Wasilla, maybe the jet, also. The bewb-jawb stitches and dope were laugh out loud funny, think about a hookworm conga line out her backside on one of the next installments.

  18. Rand (Randal) Paul used to go by Randy. His wife didn’t think it was an appropriate name, so she had him start calling himself Rand.

  19. [re=615306]proudgrampa[/re]: I’m a fan of crumb as much as anyone else. His influence is inescapable these days, but I wouldn’t say I’m an acolyte, I can’t draw big butts so well.

    [re=615736]Potater[/re]: Thanks! I fixed it.

  20. The best one so far, in that it did not generate a bunch of idiotic comments proving that the poster doesn’t have a clue what he or she is talking about.

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