Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Once Urinated On a Homosexual Pornographic Car Tire and Sued McDonald's

Wisconsin's fastest rising star, Republican U.S. Senate candidate Ernest J. Pagels, Jr., became Internet-famous this afternoon after the discovery of his brilliant political ad on YouTube. Now, with the help of Wonkette operatives, more has been found about this great American. He previously ran for Congress in 2004, for one. And also he has done a whole lot of suing people.

In 2004, Pagels ran in a primary against longtime Wisconsin Republican Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner. And somehow he lost! But also somehow he raised $14,200! And it looks like none of that was contributed by himself. That's way more fundraising muscle than Alvin Greene has shown.

Over the years, Pagels has sued a lot of people. Polly Landscaping was forced to pay him $159.64 in 1994. He sued those rotten Vargases, the people whose kids allegedly vandalized his car, in 2002 because they owed him money. They were forced to pay him $1,635.96. And in 2004 he successfully sued the Waukesha County Sheriff Department for $1,015.73, perhaps for something that happened on one of the occasions in which Pagels has gotten in trouble with the law.

More often his suits have failed. Defendants include a McDonald's, a physician and his office, a fundamentalist Christian radio network, and Faith2Action, which bills itself as "the nation's largest network of pro-family groups."

Oh, he also was cited for disorderly conduct after witnesses saw him at Waukesha County Technical College urinating on someone's tire. He sued the technical college for violating his civil rights, but that was also a failed suit.

And in 1997 it appears he was found guilty of resisting arrest and bail jumping, though that may or may not have been his father. Other charges have been brought against Jr. by his state, county, and village.

Once we can get Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. for a WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW, it looks like we'll have a lot to discuss.