wait a second those are not men

Emotional Video Reminds Everyone That Sarah Palin Is the Queen Of Teabagger Ladies


Sarah Palin’s PAC released a video today that features Palin spouting out some of her nonsense catchphrases over swelling music and video of various Teabagger women being angry about that socialist black guy. Politico calls this a “campaign-style video,” and if there is a campaign here, it is to remind Teabagger women who their leader is so they don’t get any crazy ideas about harnessing this dumb movement for themselves and leaving Queen Sarah behind. But mostly it is an emotional summary of what has happened since 2008: America’s women have left the home and become politically active for the very first time, all because of America’s first female elected official, Sarah Palin.

Sorry, America’s white women have left the home. There are no minorities in this video.

“ANNOY LIBERAL: WORK HARD & PAY YOUR OWN BILLS,” the first sign says emotionally, unaware that the real thing annoying liberals is the bad grammar. And then look, an old dingbat with a sign chained around her Hoveround! It makes us all emotional for what females have been able to do after Sarah Palin quit her job. Women have accomplished something for the very first time in politics: making signs for Teabagger events and paying to hear Sarah Palin speak.

If women have accomplished this, what will they do next? Work outside the home? Hold elected office themselves? (No. They will just elect Sarah Palin president.)

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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115 comments

  1. ArkansasFred

    They have a point. I’m a liberal and having to work hard to pay my bills annoys the fuck out of me.

  2. Gold Man-Sacks

    I like the last line of the video, American needs more of “a lot of women coming together”.

  3. Lascauxcaveman

    If more people (reds or blues) would work hard and pay their own bills, this particular liberal would be *SO FREAKING ANNOYED!!!!*.

  4. just pixels

    There’s nothing women can’t do now. Sarah Palin, on the other hand, has her limits. Specifically, she is limited to what whe can write on her other hand.

  5. Bowdoin

    The final straw in the Russian decision to trust to spies rather than the capitalist press was the (much disputed) survey which told us the teabaggers were much smarter and higher edjukated than the average bear.

  6. comicbookguy

    They find it very annoying when liberals work hard and pay their bills. Liberals are supposed to be on welfare or at a communist party meeting arguing over redistribution of wealth. Especially the wealth of all those rich hillbillies in their hoverounds.

  7. JMP

    Made it almost 40 seconds before that voice got to be too much. Arrgh.

    This video could be useful for something, though; now that Beavis and Butthead is probably returning, I’ve got a little suggestion for Mike Judge.

  8. freakishlystrong

    Gawd. Morning Blow, on the very librul MSNBC, had some asshat from Politico on this a.m. and he showed that shit, and Pat Buchanan came in his pants, heennnngghhh, and the roundtable of douches immediately elected her President, due to her ability to “laugh at herself”. Teevee went OFF.

  9. Ducksworthy

    [re=613669]Potater[/re]: Oddly enough this warning was written by a former resident of what is now Michele Bachmann’s district.

  10. ArkansasFred

    This video would be a lot more effective if “Come to my Window” were playing over it.

  11. carlgt1

    Was her voice processed to be more grating? I also don’t understand that mom’s will rise up and be like angry grizzlies defending their cubs — for what, a 2% extra tax cut? Having living through Dem & Repub regimes, that’s about all the difference I noticed (except the Repukes spend more and get us more in debt via military & war spending).

  12. Can O Whoopass

    Bring back Bush & Cheney to beer-board and kill off folks like Palin, Angle, Bachmann.

  13. ManchuCandidate

    Based on the tax receipts on “Red” States vs “Blue” States and REAL US AMERICA (rural) vs FAKE US AMERICA (cities), Liebruls do work hard since they’re paying to subsidize REAL US America’s bills.

  14. MissyLissa

    Her sign was just part of a SAT question.

    ANNOY LIBERAL : WORK HARD & PAY YOUR OWN BILLS :: ANNOY CONSERVATIVE : BE A BLACK PRESIDENT

  15. Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    “Here in Alaska I always think of the Mama Grizzlies rising up to protect her cubs.” The she shoots it. She then shoots the cubs, also.

  16. JMP

    [re=613672]Gold Man-Sacks[/re]: Normally I like watching watching women coming together on the internet, but this one doesn’t do it.

  17. germansteel

    Sarah Palin is just so deep – so profound – so spellbinding – so brilliant. “Mama Grizzlies” is wordsmithing taken to the nth degree. No wonder so many Republicans are mesmerized by her rhetoric; it appeals to their level of intellgence.

  18. Ruhe

    Can anyone deconstruct the intro graphic for me? What does it mean that Alaska is shown (actual size?) superimposed over the rest of the country? Is this meant to imply that Alaska is the heart of America? Or that Sarah’s experience as governor of a state that is nearly as large as the entire midwest makes her eminently qualified to be President? Remember when Bush lamely argued that he had foreign policy experience due to the enormous border shared by Texas and Mexico. It would be a charmingly simple meme for the Palin-heads to memorize: “Of course she’s qualified. Have you seen how big Alaska is.”

  19. 13ollocks To The Rules

    “to do something..adverse..towards their cubs..”
    Just when I thought the English language could not be tortured any further, Snowbilly gives the screws one more turn. Oh, the humanity…..

  20. Dolmance

    Now who besides Sarah Palin would be coming along to attack a mama grizzly’s cubs? From a helicopter.

  21. Dolmance

    [re=613680]Gold Man-Sacks[/re]: This video could be used at special camps to make straight guys gay.

    You can change.

  22. pondscum

    As a woman who works outside the home and is an annoying liberal I promise to NOT elect Sarah Palin to anything.

  23. Pithaughn

    this Video is defective: at 1:04 there is a person with a very “near” complexion. so, no it is not all white fat gals and their cubs, that are going to do what ever it takes to come together. Note to self, sell bonds, buy stock in double ended dildo retailer.

  24. 13ollocks To The Rules

    [re=613715]Dolmance[/re]: Rearing up on her hind legs is that only way Mama Bear has a chance of taking a swipe at Snowbilly’s chopper.

  25. Can O Whoopass

    [re=613702]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “Based on the tax receipts on “Red” States vs “Blue” States and REAL US AMERICA (rural) vs FAKE US AMERICA (cities), Liebruls do work hard since they’re paying to subsidize REAL US America’s bills.”

    More true than most folks know; Under Bush, Californians only received 78% of their taxes back.

  26. SayItWithWookies

    Sarah Palin is a feminist because she hangs around with women and says “women” a lot — just like Phyllis Schlafly!

  27. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=613672]Gold Man-Sacks[/re]: I propose that “a lot of women coming together” be used as a way to end our dependence on oil. Can you imagine the energy output of every woman in America reaching climax at the same time?! The sun would dim in the face of such energy!

  28. the problem child

    I wonder how those who paid to hear her screeches feel about the material being (yet again) recycled. Recycling, of course, being a bad, liberal thing.

  29. Jar Jar Was a Senator

    Moms *do* know when something is wrong. That’s how they keep their daughters from getting teen pregnant.

    Oh shi-

  30. An American in Toronto

    I had no idea that when I was a female child handing out leaflets for my uncle’s state senatorial campaign (for free pizza at Sergeant Pepperonis!) what I was doing was NOT being politically active. Thanks Sarah for setting me free!

  31. Mad Brahms

    You fight for that patriarchy, women of America! Defend your right to bake me chicken pot pies and keep the government in control of your mandated pregnant womb! GRIZZLIES GO! GRRR!

  32. V572625694

    Dear “Mom’s Opposed to Mandates! Unconstitutional!”:

    The Constitution provides a remedy for “mandates” (or “laws,” as the elites call them) which are believed to at variance with the Constitution. That remedy is not teabagging, or holding up moronic signs, or cheering the Snowbilly. That remedy is called a lawsuit. Try one — they’re fun!

  33. Mad Brahms

    [re=613749]Katydid[/re]: Andrew Breitbart presents! “New monologues for young vaginas, volume one”

  34. just pixels

    [re=613753]V572625694[/re]: Agreed. Whether you, me or they like it, those “laws” ain’t unconstitutional until the Supreme Court sez so. The signmaker could have figured that out.

    I like to see how fast I can confidently debunk right-wing myths using just my powers of reasoning (and Google). Current average: 37 seconds.

  35. just pixels

    The part I don’t understand about the tea partiers and right wing anger, is that “they” — the Republicans — had complete control of the U.S. government for six years: 2001 – 2006. They enacted their own ideas, philosophy, programs, preferences, laws; went to war, cut taxes, cut regulations. They had it all and did it all.

    And it didn’t work.

    So what do they want to do when they “take back” America?

  36. El Pinche

    [re=613736]Looy[/re]: That’s just code for one in the pink and one in the stink.

    [re=613708]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: From a helicopter , of course.

  37. PsycGirl

    [re=613687]freakishlystrong[/re]: Maybe it reminded Buchanan of way back when, when he stood at a podium among cheering supporters and talked about how HE was going to be president and his office would be a “bully pulpit for the unborn”. It turned out, however, that all of his supporters fit into that football field or whatever and that’s not enough to win the Republican primary, let alone the final election. Too bad those deadbeat unborns can’t be bothered to vote.

  38. yellowdogdem

    [re=613672]Gold Man-Sacks[/re]: If you leave off “together,” it’s perfect.

  39. Mad Brahms

    [re=613780]just pixels[/re]: They were stymied by Clinton-era legacy programs, traitors in the public sphere protesting their war efforts, and entrenched lieberalism in the supreme court. And remember the economy was great the whole time Bush was in office – those last few months were just everything going bad because people know Obama was coming and was going to end capitalism forever.

    At least I think that’s how an explanation would work. The echo chamber is an odd, frightening place.

  40. Mad Brahms

    [re=613786]PsycGirl[/re]: Please, we all know Buchanan was undone by a Jewish-Messican conspiracy (with the complicity of said lazy unborns, granted)

  41. One Yield Regular

    [re=613707]ph7[/re]: Hired security, no doubt. This video is hands down the whitest thing I’ve ever seen. Compared to it, the Grand Old Opry looks as diverse as Jackson Heights.

  42. Mad Brahms

    [re=613788]yellowdogdem[/re]: Why? What’s wrong with scissoring? Hey, more power to you, ladies. Hot housewife orgies: Now in real America!

  43. Extemporanus

    [re=613736]Looy[/re]: First coined by O.G. (“Original Grizzly”) and racist canine supporter Jack London, the phrase “Seeing pink elephants” is a well-established euphemism — Raymond Chandler, Superman, Dumbo, Madonna, etc. — for drunken hallucination.

    “The Pink Elephant” was also the name of a classic old “biker bar” in the tiny northern town of Monte Rio, California (home of the big fat gay “Lazy Bear Weekend”!) that was recently forced to close due to overwhelming “septic woes”.

    In other words, Sarah Palin’s elephantine female fans are a stampeding pink pack of shitfaced, hallucinating, fag hags.

    Makes sense to me…

  44. El Pinche

    [re=613792]Mad Brahms[/re]: Damn straight. And if it wasn’t for that synergy, we wouldn’t have Gefilte Fish Flautas today.

  45. Tube City

    [re=613780]just pixels[/re]: Arrange it so that they never lose power again, through mandates and dictates.

  46. Okie Dokie Dog

    Oh bummer. I didn’t get to watch it, got the old – an error occurred, please try again later.

    Uh yeah. I’ll write myself a note on my hand to try again later, cause I sure don’t want to miss a single moment of Sarah being all womanly and all feministy and all patrioty and all God fearing mamma grizzly and all twatty and all what notty, etc.

  47. El Pinche

    [re=613803]Extemporanus[/re]: Mama Bitchface’s Flying Pigs would have been better

  48. Gorillionaire

    I hate to break it to these dames but Prop-Baby will be an annoying over indulged tottler in 2012.

  49. DDD

    At first I really thought the sign at 1:15 said “Moms opposed to minorities” and had to back it up to see for sure. This is getting so alarmingly polarizing I just can’t believe it’s happening. She needs her “Face in the Crowd” moment and she needs it now. This is the softest peddling of populist hate we’ve ever seen, and it’s gonna tear us apart. Here in Jacksonville our most mild-mannered civil servant was at a Tea Party rally last week. (Yes…Mike, Mike, Mike Weinstein.)

  50. Crazybroad

    Waltzing around the country 300 days a year in “borrowed” clothes spouting incoherent bigotry, working very hard to set women back 100 years and getting paid six figures a pop annoys the FUCK out of me.

  51. Extemporanus

    [re=613743]Sharkey[/re]: In what respect, Charlie?

    [re=613680]Gold Man-Sacks[/re]: Ya know, the lyrics to Come Together are eerily reminiscent of a Palin speech.

    [re=613812]El Pinche[/re]: Wasn’t that the name of Roger Water’s side project with Cass Elliot?

  52. Radiotherapy

    And what is the point of this? Mama grizzlies wear lipstick or something? Or how difficult it is to make a montage video without one single person of color in it? Just send the grifter money. Every note of that Casio ‘Sappy’ piano wants me want to drink until I am seeing the real pink elephants.

  53. Way Cool Larry

    for once, at least, a video that doesn’t need more tits… and it’s best with the sound OFF

  54. Mad Brahms

    [re=613820]Radiotherapy[/re]: You can put lipstick on a grizzly, but it’s… wait, what the fuck?

  55. BlueStateLiberal

    As a Sarah Palin MOM, I’m oppossed to taxes, except for when they’re used for programs to help my autistic, slow, etc. child at which point, I expect all the rest of you to pay out the wazoo for special ed! I also expect the rest of you to pay for my kids’ school breakfast, lunch, dinner, after-school activities, etc., and keep the hell shut up about it, think of the children!

  56. AnnieGetYourFun

    OMG, seriously, there is nothing more irritating than a self-righteous woman with children. No wonder men worked so hard to keep women down for so long. We are really fucking irritating at times.

  57. Mad Brahms

    [re=613835]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: In Sarah Palin’s America, children are our future! And like said children, our future is retarded.

  58. Mad Brahms

    [re=613850]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Don’t feel so bad; it’s an artifact of the same patriarchy, by way of the idea that the domestic sphere and the care of children is WOMEN’S WORK and that wombs are the only thing females have of value. It’s a convenient result of the fixation with women’s bodies and the need for sexual control that works to justify said control.

  59. SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    Yes, Mama Grizzlies will rise up and attack anyone with malice toward their cubs. They’ll also attack anyone with perfectly good intentions who accidentally come near them, even those trying to help the Mama Grizzly and her cubs. Their paranoia and anger are equal opportunity.

  60. GOPCrusher

    Not sure which is sadder. That Bible Spice believes the words that come out of her gaping maw, or the audience that believes her.
    But I propose a new drinking game. Everyone take a shot every time Bible Spice uses the term “fundamental transformation”.
    I doubt she can explain what “fundamental transformation” is occurring in America, but she sure likes throwing that term around, and her minions like parroting it.

  61. OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

    [re=613780]just pixels[/re]: So what do they want to do when they “take back” America?

    Have their homeschooled children graduate from Glenn Beck U so they can go put up “whites only” signs in the name of MLK?

  62. jus_wonderin

    Sarah, can you please decide what you are? Are you a Mama Grizzly. Or are you a Pitbull with lipstick? Or, are you simply fucked in the head??

  63. Ducksworthy

    OK. I turned the sound off and watched about 30 sec. of it just for practice recognizing insane people, for safety sake, cause you never know what you’ll run into. When the woman with the baby and the flag turns toward the camera, around 30-31 I got scared and quit. She is a stone cold psychotic killer.

  64. carlgt1

    Never has female empowerment been so stupid. It’s like some sort of revenge on the intellectual wymen of Berkeley. Like by virtue of giving birth, they have some sort of innate rights over everyone else.

  65. TakingAmes

    [re=613695]Cornhusker Kickback[/re]: No, that would be acknowledging that they have vaginas. And that makes people think of sex. Which is bad. Or something.

  66. Mad Brahms

    [re=613944]carlgt1[/re]: Well, and here’s the thing, too: if this is “mamas defending their cubs”, what on earth are they defending them from? Cuts in education spending / attacks on teachers’ unions? Nope. Toxic industries fouling their air / water/ soil? No. Insurance companies guaranteeing that they are uninsurable at reasonable rates? Nope again!

    Oh, right. The gay agenda! Mean old gays, antagonizing grizzlies with their Scissor Sisters and their tight jeans and their defense of evolution-based science education.

  67. Mad Brahms

    [re=613960]madtowngooner[/re]: [re=613981]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: I hope her twat *does* get the clap, too.

  68. whiterabid

    I don’t know about mama grizzlies, but when I lived in the mountains, there were two black bears, and mama bear acted as if she were living in some kind of prehistoric era, as if there weren’t any humans around. She roared and shook the ground with her growl. But papa bear, on the other hand, sensed that mama was a little strong, a little too scary, and he would do his zoo bear routine, as if being the in wild was the same as living in captivity, a regular yogi bear act. But I didn’t see any cubs. Mama was just a bitch, that’s all.

  69. rocktonsammy

    I hope all these neglected “cubs”are practicing safe sex since Queen Dingbat told their Mama Grizzles to get busy and do whatever.

  70. GenghisKern

    “Annoy Liberal”. I’m annoyed that her mavens can’t form a grammatically correct two word sentence, which makes me a liberal by default. Perhaps Sean Hannity can enlighten me as to how one can “annoy” an adjective.

  71. corduroypants

    Apparently, neither Baggers nor Grizzlies know how to kern. The fuck is SARAHP AC?

  72. irisheyesagain

    Okay. I watched until the “Woman of color” appeared because, hell, I had to see what self respecting African American woman would agree to appear in this nonsense. If you look closely, girlfriend is giving serious sideeye to ol’ whitey next to her. Kind of a “Bitch, please.” I pray that she simply walked into the wrong conference center.

  73. Lascauxcaveman

    Here’s my list of “Things That Annoy Liberals”

    1. Fingernails on the chalkboard.
    2. Faucet dripping at night
    3. Teabaggers misquoting, misconstruing, pissing on the constitution in general.
    4. Ditto Second Amendment in Particular
    5. Ditto bill of rights.
    6. Biting into a big hot dog and the mustard oozes out all over your white shirt.
    7. Getting cut off in traffic, guy flips you a bird.
    8. Sound of Sarah Palin’s voice.

    .
    .
    .

    1,765,433. People working hard and paying their bills
    1,765,434. Getting a b-day card for grandma with $10 in it
    1,765,435. A chocolate sundae with cracked almonds
    1,765,437. A cute kitten

    (I decide to leave out a few in the middle)

  74. sati demise

    Notice that it took the wonkette rabble until Thursday to shake off their Independence Day hangovers and top the 3 figure mark.

  75. lukewarm

    Sarah works hard and pays all her own bills, right? She doesn’t just live off of hand-outs?

  76. dudeabides

    [re=613672]Gold Man-Sacks[/re]: yeah, we could set a world record or something. Do it wrapped in American flags too.

  77. BarackMyWorld

    This is actually pretty easy to explain….these are housewives that listen to talk radio while doing their cooking and cleaning.

  78. user-of-owls

    That woman in the freeze-frame? Yeah, I’d love to gently take her adorable child from her arms, pat its tousled head and say ‘goo goo’ and place the tot lovingly on a comfy blanket. Then I’d like to punch that smarmy cunt in the vagina.

  79. BarackMyWorld

    I’m doubting the woman at 1:15 has to EVER worry about a “man date,” if you know what I mean.

  80. zhubajie

    [re=613677]comicbookguy[/re]: Conservacrooks basically want others to be their slaves, to work and to pay their bills for them — just like Jefferson! Those of us who decline to be their slaves/serfs/peons/debt-bondsmen are the evil liberals! How dare we not do Palin’s work and pay her bills?

  81. Malketeer

    I, for one, am looking forward to the inevitable clash between the Palin/Hoverround and Palin/Rascal factions.

    It’ll be like a Shriners demolition derby!

  82. babsinbuffalo

    Just when Sarah and her blah blah blah make me so depressed I can’t go on …. along come the righteous Wonkette comments, and my will to live is revived for another day. Thanks, all.

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