America’s third-favorite McCain is an Op-Ed columnist at America’s first-favorite McPaper! And man oh boy, is he hoppin’ mad at that wily Mexican-Hebrew Elena Kagan. But why? Because of War, of course!
Here’s Walnuts yelling at everything he thinks about again, including different kinds of shoes:
When Kagan was dean of Harvard Law School, she unmistakably discouraged Harvard students from considering a career in the military — even while claiming to do otherwise — by denying military recruiters the same access to Harvard students that was granted to white-shoe law firms. Kagan did so because she believed the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy to be “a profound wrong — a moral injustice of the first order.”
Here is a thought: maybe Kagan granted priority access to “white-shoe law firms” because that is the entire point of a law school education: to obtain a job at a law firm, where everyone naturally wears white or ecru shoes made by cobbler-elves. That is where you meet your future wife, who promptly retires from her promising career as a corporate henchwoman in order to bear your adorable HLS Class of 2035 legacy brats.
This military recruitment thing is McCain’s only criticism of Elena Kagan, and it is presumably his sole reason for not letting her join the sexiest sorority. Someone forgot to tell Arizona’s most heroic non-Jan Brewer individual that rich Ivy-League law school douchebags don’t join the Armed Forces anyway. They are too rich, and too douchey, and what is the point? Even the future congressjerks and senate-whores among them do not need whatever political capital that veteran status might bring; they can rely on their family connections and vast amounts of money. After all, that’s how they got into Harvard Law School in the first place!
Besides, all the wars since World War II, which was fought solely by Tom Brokaw, have not exactly been Good Wars. Afghanistan had a chance at hosting a Good War, but then Osama moved to a rent-controlled condo across the border in Islamabad and the Taliban refused to not be in charge. It is not so glamorous to do a tour of duty in a Florida FEMA trailer, launching Wii-controlled death drones at houses in Pakistan that might include terrorists and/or their 17 small children. And surely this is where our imaginary Harvard Law Soldiers would end up, as it is a time-honored tradition for the privileged few to nab safer gigs than, well, everybody else. Probably you can get one of these video game jobs if your father donates monies to offset the cost of General Stanley McChrystal’s belated farewell bash at the T.G.I. Friday’s on the banks of the River Styx.
Still, it is good that John McCain is voting no on this unrepentant Jewess in order to appeal to the willfully ignorant, arrogant illiterates who make up the majority of the electorate in that state he hates to even visit because it takes him away from his beloved Washington lobbyists. [USA Todayw]
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It seems John McCain has confused himself for E.F. Hutton or John Houseman.
Love the Blingee! Is that a house cat our a timberwolf?
See, that’s the real reason rightwing nutcases oppose gay marriage. If a HLS female graduate could marry another women, who would then give up everything to support her precious lawyer wife, that HLS female graduate could compete more effectively with her male classmates. We can’t have that.
[re=613595]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Or Orson Welles. “We will sell our whine if the price is prime.”
Pure venom, well aimed. Bienencama, betcha too
I’m surprised old Walnuts is not encouraging his darling daughter to take one of thaose joystick-joyboy jobs killing off wedding guests. With her mad twitting skillz she would be a natural.
New “litmus test” for Supreme Court nominees: joining military, becoming a lousy pilot, getting shot down repeatedly
How awful that a school dean would actually uphold the school’s rules, even against a politically powerful organization like the US military; that’s exactly the wrong person you want judging the law.
As a (non-Ivy League) lawyer, I have never heard the phrase “white shoe law firm” before. It’s kind of cute when the olds smoke their dutch cleanser and break out the old-timey slang.
First, DADT IS “a profound wrong — a moral injustice of the first order.” Second, it also violated HLS’s anti-discimination policy. Third, everything said above because damn, that pretty much covered it.
John “Crankypants” McSame has confused himself with John McCain; the one that was repentant and chastened after getting caught with his pale, wrinkled hand in the cookie jar with the other Keating Butt-Boys. He and the rest of his Lock-Step Compadres, and most of the “Dims”, can kiss my narrow Missouri Ass. He has proven he is beyond redemption, and they probably are too.
It seems that Kagan managed to find Walnut’s last living nerve.
Yeah, I wonder how many JAGs are HLS alums.
Haha white-shoe law firm = teh gheyz I see what he did there. Here’s the thing though, arent they really only white-shoe firms between Memorial Day and Labor Day?
That settles it. I am definitely changing my band’s name to “Maverick McCain and the Wii-controlled Death Drones!”
Today, we are all hennnnnggggg.
Interesting bit of irony; Naval officers wear white shoes. I’m not sure what exactly is wrong with white shoes, but whatever it is, “Five Years” McCain wore ‘em.
[re=613628]freakishlystrong[/re]: You’d think hennnnngggg-snark would get old after a while. But you’d be wrong.
They have a T.g.I. Friday’s on Styx? Here I thought Styx was playing T.G.I. Fridays nowadays.
“Forget all your troubles with our Lethe Blasters!”
Oh, Benincasa, you speak of this stunt as if McCain has the slightest genuine reason for taking this position against Kagan, you cannot be, what is the word the french use, “naive?”
McCain is simply old, and he is addled, and has thrown out all pretense to principles, he exists now as naked ego and ambition only, what he does is not determined by the consciuous, rational part of his brain, these things spring from the deepest, most primitive, reptillian parts of the medulla. This is yet another in the spasmodic death frenzies of an old politician who thought he had made a deal with the devil in 2000 that would let him be president in 2008, he could taste it, and it did not come to be, and now he can’t accept that he will be dead by 2012, and all hope is lost, so in his frenzied death throes he aligns himself with Palin, appeases the hate and xenophobia of the pigfuckers by opposing the lesbojew, and otherwise publicly craps his pants trying to out-teabag the teabagger thats running against him.
[re=613611]Scaggsville guy[/re]: Don’t forget to start a fire on an aircraft carrier that kills hundreds!
He is going to bomb her back into the Stone Age with his pen. No, like literally make her scribe on stone tablets. Because if there is one thing Walnuts knows about, it’s bombing, oh that, and picking people for important political positions.
As for digging up the past, what again was his lame excuse for Charles Keating?
The military: a place specifically made to breed killers that we can pretend is God’s army. And if you don’t want to go overseas and blow up poor people? Well, not political future for you.
The new litmus test for judges. Dip shoe in political waters.
If it turns camouflage: YES.
If it turns “lawyer” white: vote NO.
But if it turns to “snow-camo” white: vote YES.
Which issue of Highlights was this in?
Gah. The heat and lack of coffee is making me bitter. And this sad old man is just giving me vertigo.
John McCoward demonstrates his real character, once again. The wingnuts – the entirety of what’s left of the Republican Party, in other words – would hang him from his withered, wrinkly little ballsack if he voted for Kagan. So, he grasps for his usual straw – the “good of the military” – to justify his kneejerk reactionary vote against her. How “mavericky” of him.
[re=613600]V572625694[/re]: I believe it is a timberwolf and/or a Were-Wolf. Thank you; I spent a long time on this Blingee. It is my first, and I feel quietly proud of it, like how Mary felt about Jesus.
[re=613622]Mr Blifil[/re]: HAHAH! Fashion joke!
[re=613640]ArkansasFred[/re]: The one where Goofus finally fucked Gallant.
While Kagan is entitled to her opinion, she was not entitled to ignore the law that requires universities to allow military recruiters on campus under terms of equal access with all other recruiters.
Okay, so let me get this straight — McCain is mad because Elena Kagan made recruiters for the military, who discriminate against gays, wander around the halls of Harvard Law like second-class citizens? It’s so horrible when the tolerant are intolerant of the intolerance of others, and is such a misreading of the Constitution. Oh, and then he has this little insight:
I have previously stated that I do not believe judges should stray beyond their constitutional role and act as if they have greater insight than representatives who are elected by the people.
Hey Senator Dumbass — they don’t have greater insight, but they’re allowed to say whether something is unconstitutional or not, right? That whole judicial review thing is a pretty settled matter isn’t it, since it’s been around since the Supreme Court has.
excellent job, new sara. i would point out the fact that walnuts didn’t use family connections or money to gain his house and senate seats. like any patriotic Real American, walnuts EARNED his place in congress… by marrying into a family so rich that his new father in law could afford to buy him a congressional district as a wedding present. oh, and taking a shitload of money from charles keating helps, too.
Umm, what’s the relevance of the werewolf guy from Eclipse in the blingee? Does he have something to do with McCain or Kagan, or is he just somebody Benincasa yearns to bone or something?
[re=613622]Mr Blifil[/re]: Actually, he just couldn’t think of the word ‘collar’ so he just shat out whatever word came to mind first.
[re=613665]obfuscator[/re]: Daddy was the commanding admiral of US Navy forces in southeast asia in the late 60s, too, which didn’t hurt “last in his class” McCain when it came to stumbling through flight school. The North Vietnamese tried to give him back after they captured him, but the US military refused to deal; McCain had already destroyed so many airplanes that he qualified as an Ace, for the North Vietnamese. True story.
[re=613644]Sara Benincasa[/re]: All men feel that same pride, each time they defecate, and then turn to behold their artwork, floating in glory in the bowl.
White shoes (esp. worn with a dark suit, cf. Joe Jackson “Look Sharp” album cover), are undeniable awesome.
Ecru, however, is a bit of a cop out.
Blingy starfish neadz moar crusty/brown.
McCain remembers fondly when he was recruited for the Portuguese Grenadiers by agents of João V whilst in his second year of the Panamanian Free Zone Bootblack and Chimney-Sweep Academy.
I also have it on good information that she once set up a blockade in Cambridge to prevent the transportation of bottled hot water to dehydrated children.
The starfish on Walnuts’ head is pure genius, new Sara (I’m stealing that, hope you don’t mind, [re=613665]obfuscator[/re]).
McCain is voting against Kagan, not because of this Army recruitment foofarah and not because she’s a raging, nebber shaves her legs, flannel shirt donning, soft-ball-batting bull dyke, but because Johnny is running witless in his primary against a guy who hears coded messages from the Red Planet and Mc-Can-Only-Eat-Mushy-Food-Now feels that he must whore himself to get the Pea Baggery vote.
I love a man who, when the going gets tough, still has the courage of someone else’s convictions.
EOM.
[re=613613]JMP[/re]: It was actually a pretty well known term even in the 80s and 90s. Typically referred to high end corporate law firms. Don’t know if “white shoes” were all that common or not, but definitely the kind of place where a-holes wore seersucker suits in the summer, everyone was expected to join the “right” club and otherwise act as self-congratulating assholes. That actual culture died a while back in most of the big coastal legal communities with more and more women and minorities graduating from top law schools and much greater emphasis on per partner profits rather than connections, but there are still vestiges of it in the midwest and south. I speak as a survivor of one of those midwestern firms, where until a few years ago you could assume all secretaries were female, all major decisions were made by white men, and a black person was much more likely to be a member of the janitorial staff than the legal team.
In other words, the kind of place Walnuts would have felt right at home in, as opposed to the modern meritocracy (except for gays) of the armed forces.
Excellent post, Sara– I see you’re really getting into the Wonkette groove.
Nice starfish!
[re=613614]Sue[/re]: Anti-discrimination policies are racist against the military. It’s also racist that innocent white Christians are not allowed to put up those whites-only signs. Harvard isn’t fair and neither is the gubbmint.
[re=613628]freakishlystrong[/re]: Win, win Oh my God, win!
“Besides, all the wars since World War II, which was fought solely by Tom Brokaw, have not exactly been Good Wars. Afghanistan had a chance at hosting a Good War, but then Osama moved to a rent-controlled condo across the border in Islamabad and the Taliban refused to not be in charge.”
Best summary of post-WWII history, EVER!
Oh, my baby-haired, woman-eyed Sara…that was really swell.
The faculty at the Naval Academy were not that happy with legacy student John S. McCain III come to think of it.
[re=613644]Sara Benincasa[/re]: Mary wasn’t proud of Jesus. She just wanted him to marry a nice Jewish girl and give her some grandchildren. Instead, he was a troublemaker and broke his mother’s heart.
This is good news for John McCain!
[re=613666]hiphophitler[/re]: He is a Tween Idol, much the same as Walnuts was back in 1932 when that photo was taken! That’s why he needed to dump his fat car-wrecked first wife for the rich anorexic blond- the ladies would not leave him alone!
[re=613648]Sara Benincasa[/re]: I am so glad I didn’t have to wait til Friday for a Benincasa post!
Sara?
I’m bowing to you and your typemastery and wordsmithery.
I speak as a survivor of one of those midwestern firms, where until a few years ago you could assume all secretaries were female, all major decisions were made by white men, and a black person was much more likely to be a member of the janitorial staff than the legal team.
it is good that John McCain is voting no on this unrepentant Jewess in order to appeal to the willfully ignorant
[re=613712]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Oh, good point. I still have my “Look Sharp” button from the 10″ album cover somewhere. But those probably weren’t the kind of white shoes worn at white shoe law firms in whatever era McCain was thinking of.
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