Carly Fiorina’s Got a Posse (It Is Very Small!)

  campaign scrapbooks

Demon Sheep-Eye redGOP Senate candidate and high-tech dynamo Carly Fiorina has been sending her loyal supporters to protest Barbara Boxer and her new “Jobs for California Tour” — aka the “broken promises tour,” ha. Fiorina’s paparazzi have been taking pictures of her protester armies and posting them on her online Twitpic photo album, to show We the Tweeple how much she’s loved. But maybe she should stop it because HEY WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

Sure, this group of matching men wearing celebrity sunglasses and oozing youthful vigor makes for an impressive sight. But the Carly Quartet’s display of classic “Fresno cool” is countered by Mr. Grumpy McLoner and his sad little placard:

… unless the light-up sign behind him is his big sarcastic joke, in which case he deserves a free Hewlett-Packard desktop computer for his comedy efforts.

Have you seen Carly’s propaganda zeppelin yet? Its is emblazoned with the URL FailedSenator.com, which is where Fiorina talks about how much Barbara Boxer sucks. And it completely dwarfs this band of protesters, who look like they all might be related somehow:

 
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Here are the same parking lot protesters, now standing under a tree (maybe to look like different people?):

This young group’s lateral formation does not make them look “populous.” The gal holding a “FailedSenator.com” sign does get an “A” in sassy, though:

[Carly for CA's Twitpic]

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About the author

Lauri works at the Chicago Reader, and also writes and makes art-pictures for Wonkette. Her creative projects—including a now-defunct blog about finding clothing in the trash and wearing it, and an exhibition of portraits of all 50 Chicago aldermen made by 50 different artists—have been featured by NBC's Today Show, the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, BUST Magazine, and other media outlets. She's written things for the Austin Chronicle, Texas Observer, In Pittsburgh Weekly, The Black Table, and other places, and taken photos for various nonprofits, bands, and publications. (She also has a law degree, for some reason.)

View all articles by Lauri Apple

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46 comments

  1. dijetlo

    She runs for office in much the same manner as she ran Hewlett Packard, which is to say poorly.
    Just a suggestion, but Republicans complaining about “where’s the jobs?” is a little like a drunk wandering the scene of the accident he cause howling ” Where’s the ambulance? What a bunch of incompetent pricks! We should fire the paramedics for not being here already”

  2. Blender

    Macy’s should send those red t-shirt guys a cease-and-desist letter for stealing their font.

  3. Mild Midwesterner

    I bet the folks in the last picture are just gearing up for the Rocky Horror Picture Show. “Let’s do the time warp aggaaaaaaiiin!”

  4. Beowoof

    These folks will appoint their unemployed, those who would make perfect sense to go out and support the candidate who would ensure that you get no unemployment benefits. As other Republican senators have pointed out, anyone who doesn’t have a job is a lazy drug abuser who just wants to lay around the house.

    Currently should also be careful about promoting a website called failedSenator.com; and she is probably one of the most notable failed CEOs of all time. She ran each beat into the ground, to the point where the Board of Directors felt the need to fire her from her position. For the record in business such as that, what type of skill does she bring to the position of United States Sen.

  5. bago

    No wonder she fails at technology. You need a “==” token to invoke an equivalence operation in a modern programming. “=” is for assignments only.

  6. An Outhouse

    Are they letting us view those signs for free? What I learned this week is that is wrong and unAmerican. You need to charge for everything.

  7. JMP

    Handmade signs pointing to a candidate’s official attack website is certainly a sign that this is a grassroots movement of the people; just like the teabaggers.

    What’s the meaning of the cryptic random number alt-text?

  8. bago

    [re=613519]bago[/re]: “Modern programming language“, sheesh. You still need a noun in this grammar. Anonymous nouns are not widely understood!

  9. bago

    [re=613527]JMP[/re]: I would hazard a guess that it’s some kind of metadata field to determine sequentiality being imported by some automated process in the content management system.

  10. disgustedcitizen

    Fiorina has a small pus…? Oh, posse! Now, that makes more sense, I just knew the other way could not be right.

  11. Lazy Media

    Sorry, sassy girl, that is the WORST attempt at dressing up as Columbia I have ever seen. Go home and change into a plain old goth outfit before the rest of the Rocky Horror crowd shows up.

  12. carlgt1

    I would have thought she hired H1B visa guys from India for her “protestors”, as she did with HP?

  13. HedonismBot

    [re=613514]Beowoof[/re]:
    “Currently should also be careful about promoting a website called failedSenator.com; and she is probably one of the most notable failed CEOs of all time.”
    It doesn’t matter to Republicans. To a Republican, being or having been a “business person” is the highest mark of acheivement a politician can claim. Never mind the number of big businesses that abuse their employees, routinely benefit from tax cuts and government largesse (all while railing against “Big Government”) and – these days – fail and leave it to the taxpayers to clean up the mess they made.
    Dubya “ran” companies also (into the ground) and this made him the “CEO President.”
    How many times have you heard some Republican jackass preface his/her remarks with “I run/used to run a small business,” as if this makes them a divinely-appointed expert on everything?
    I always think “Good for you; do you want a fucking cookie?”

  14. HedonismBot

    [re=613527]JMP[/re]: And badly-written/worded signs just make the grass-rootsiness more authentic, don’t they? Proper spelling is elitist.

  15. JMP

    [re=613512]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: They should’ve come in full costume; that would at least get some attention and distract from the pathetically small showing.

    [re=613534]bago[/re]: I can’t tell if that’s a bunch of technical-sounding jargon thrown up as a joke or actually means something.

  16. Beowoof

    [re=613538]HedonismBot[/re]: I agree whole heartedly but can’t resist the opportunuity to call their hypocrisy, every time I see it. When people tell me government should be run like a business I always ask which one Enron, WorldCom, etc. it is been a popular theme for a long time that people who have been in business know how to run organizations. It is clear that they do not, they pull the same crap with Obama on not having any business experience. I have worked in both business and government and found that the buffoonery is no different in either organization. These groups are run by people with all their weaknesses and limitations.

  17. algoresexattack

    hey the young guy in front of the light board has the same sign as the bald guy under the tree. nice to see recycling.

  18. proudgrampa

    [re=613553]Beowoof[/re]: Well said. I have also worked in both private and public sectors. The biggest difference, in my opinion, is that government has no incentive to cut costs or do things more efficiently. That being said, businesses don’t necessarily do a good job of those things, either.

  19. user-of-owls

    There’s a much bigger group of anti-Vitter protesters in Louisiana.

    Their signs read: “Senator = Failed Boxers”

  20. southern mark smith

    Grumpy McLoner’s gag would have been more effective if the sign above him read “Caution: Zombies Ahead”.

  21. comicbookguy

    The real protest is happening at an outsource center in India.

    Where’s the jobs? Funny, that’s just what HP employees were asking.

  22. S.Luggo

    [re=613515]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I love the stench of failure in the morning. And free T-ahirts.

    [re=613571]algoresexattack[/re]: Good catch. That’s called the efficiency of market place. With only one sign you don’t have to teach all your ‘volunteers’ how to use a crayola to block print.

    Teach a staff member how to block print and he’ll protest for day. Teach all your staff how to block print and they’ll form a consulting firm.

  23. President Beeblebrox

    Somehow my last comment didn’t make it, so…

    Republican activists trying to imitate /b/ Anonymous protests = EPIC FAIL.

  24. BarackMyWorld

    Ah, yes….the simultaneous cries of “government is too big” and “government isn’t getting enough jobs created.” From the same folks that brought you “keep government away from Medicare.”

  25. Judas Peckerwood

    It’s nice to see the Log Cabin Republicans out working to make a difference.

  26. Georgia Burning

    [re=613537]carlgt1[/re]: Or bring then in from China on “training” visas.

  27. mercure

    [re=613538]HedonismBot[/re]: Fiorina is part of a long and admired Republican tradition in business though, of failing upward and onward until running out of failure opportunities, walking away with a lot of money and then going into politics.

    In fact, she has the ideal resume to be the next failed Republican president.

  28. dudeabides

    We have a lot more unemployed dudes in Cali than that. They must all be working for Boxer. (Her Boxer boxers are a real hit with the guys).

Comments are closed.