Joe Biden opened his heart to chronic e-mail forwarder Mike Allen during a three-day trip to Iraq over Independence Day Weekend. From these conversations, Allen discerned that Biden is a “pol’s pol” who “emphasized the human connection in discussing his Washington relationships,” and that the Biden war administration “has no intention of deviating from its timelines, and instead will declare success on its own terms,” whatever that means!
Allen, who will not tell his friends where he lives, added that the veep seems to be “thriving,” as evidenced by “a pool party Biden held for the press last month at the vice presidential residence at the Naval Observatory.” Allen described the backyard event, during which Rahm Emanuel squirted journalists with his Super-Soaker, as a “totem” of Biden’s “confidence.”
Then he did something no real war reporter would ever do. Allen revealed that Biden doesn’t really understand how mortars work:
“We could hear this thing whistle overhead and a bomb go off. And the Secret Service said we ought to go inside, and I said, ‘No, let’s finish this conversation in here because, I mean, this is not an unusual thing to have happen.’”
When sirens and a “take cover” announcement went off again at 4:45 the next morning, Jill Biden tried to awaken the vice president, but he resisted. “We heard that thing go off and saying ‘duck and cover,’” he said. “And so I rolled over under the covers.”
Lara Logan is going to be so pissed. [POLITICO]
{ 27 comments }
Layne continues his Affirmative Action socialism. Now he’s hired a bona fide corpse (Chevy Chase).
Is that what Rahm is calling it now?
Mike Allen is a sniveling mongoloid.
Why does Wonkette keep showing me this picture of a pimp holding a newspaper i don’t get it?
My grand-pappy died in the super=soaker wars!!! *cries*
Did a child drown at this pool party? According to Tommy Lee it’s not really a POOL PARTY unless a child drowns.
[re=613655]ArkansasFred[/re]: And Randall Cunningham, and Jack Nicklaus, and…
If a mortar falls in Iraq and Biden doesn’t scream like a girl, does that make Mike Allen a pussy?
When I hear whistling overhead, I shout “fly away you noisy blue tufted robins”.
And, there is no evidence that “4:45am” actually exists in our current space-time continuum. Thus, “4:45am” remains just a theory.
if more people understood how mortars work, everybody would want one. but they’re useless without their pestles.
[re=613643]Potater[/re]: Someone obviously hasn’t been watching Community; he’s back to being funny for the first time in about twenty-five years.
Mike Allen is the most unimportant person in journalism.
“Community” is actually a pretty good show. And, yes, Chevy Chase is funny in the show. And Joel McHale, and the other actors, do a great job. Watch this show: It’s very well-written, well-acted, has something to say, is even poignant sometimes, has a very hot, beautiful blonde babe as one of the characters, and, yes, is funny. No snark here on this.
By the way, “Parks and Recreation” has gotten much better, and is the same: a well-written, well-acted and well-directed comedy. And “Parks and Recreation” has Rashida Jones–one of the most beautiful women working in film or television today. She’s the daughter of Peggy Lipton and Quincy Jones–really. And she is hot.
Hills will be jealous since this tops her Potemkin snipers.
[re=613652]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: Mike Allen is a sniveling mongoloid.
[re=613671]thefrontpage[/re]: Mike Allen is a sniveling mongoloid.
Mike Allen is clearly ghey for Joe Biden.
That must be a big change for the Secret Service — didn’t they used to pick Dick Cheney up by the elbows and carry him to the nearest bunker at any sign of danger? That’s what they did on 9/11, and then there was that time they arrested a guy for asking Cheney a question (that’s assault, you know). So now they’re just letting Joe Biden wander around the US embassy while it gets shelled. I guess that’s confidence or bravado, but I kinda wish they had done it the other way around.
[re=613678]thefrontpage[/re]: While Britta is nice looking, I’m shocked that you blonde babe but the hotter chesty brunette.
“Beat sweetener” –> access to Joe Biden. This will pay off handsomely.
[re=613678]thefrontpage[/re]: Community IS a good show, but it needz moar Señor Chang.
So, because Biden isn’t whimpering, because he figures the odds of a mortar hitting a specific spot are astronomical, because he figures he’s lived a long life and isn’t going to run around like Lord Darkness, he doesn’t understand war?
See, I’d rather think that the British had it right: be as little terrorized with as much safety as possible. What were the officers doing at the time? (We know what Mike Allen was doing: he was making a puddle of protection.)
[re=613660]freakishlystrong[/re]: No, just a whore’s whore.
Wait, wasn’t the mortar-ignorance just showing how badass he is? “Fuck the mortars Jill Jesus Christ I’m trying to get some sleep here!”
[re=613671]thefrontpage[/re]: Ugh. quote attribution fail, mea culpa.
Who the fuck is Mike Allen, and why should we care??
[re=613846]hoosiermama[/re]: As somebody who slept in a trailer surrounded by sandbags for a year in the Green Zone, I’m with Joe. The only time you go to the duck and cover shelter is if you’re walking around outside; if you’re in bed, you just roll over and assume they’re not going to hit the top of your trailer (because what are the odds? You’re more likely to get struck by lightning). If you’re in an armored Suburban, ditto, because the duck-and-cover alarm never gives enough advance warning to make it safe to run to shelter from an already adequate shelter.
Not only is Joe ballsy, but he actually made the safer call in both instances.
Hope when he rolled over he didn’t injure his totem.
Joe no longer does anything unless custard is involved.
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