ALSO IT'S LIKE 103 DEGREES  11:17 am July 7, 2010

Who Is Invited To Wonkette’s Weeping Eagle Awards Tonight? YOU

by Ken Layne

Also we will MURDER THE SUN.Join a whole bunch of your Wonkette pals at 5:30 this evening for the 2010 Weeping Eagles! Consider this your Invitation, this blog post on the Internet. Eat delicious things! Drink cheap beverages! Win Wonkette T-shirts! Laugh at the buffoonery of your editor and other cretins including morning editor Josh “The Comics Curmudgeon” Fruhlinger, Wonkabout’s Arielle Fleisher, Wonkette videographer Liz Glover, your summer intern/artist Benjamin Frisch and former editors Juli Weiner (according to Facebook, anyway) and Capitol Hill typing monster Jim Newell. We have literally never had so many of us in the same place at the same time, for freedom!

Wonkette is taking over the upstairs lounge at Solly’s Tavern at 1942 11th St. NW at U Street, just a block east of Ben’s Chili Bowl and the U St./Cardozo station. The horror begins at 5:30 p.m. and will probably keep going until 9 o’clock or whenever, with the Awards Ceremony taking place at/around 6:30 p.m. WHO WILL WIN?????

Plus: A literary/political panel discussion with your editors, just like at Politics & Prose or whatever, but with more vulgarity and less substance. And “cocktailized soul food” and the “Whoopie Pies” from Whoops! Bake Shop. Okay that is all you get to know about it, the end. [Weeping Eagles 2010]

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Hola wonkerados.

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pirate king of the Jews July 7, 2010 at 11:23 am

I am so bummed I’m in the wrong state right now. No “Whoopie Pies” for me :(

the problem child July 7, 2010 at 11:24 am

Unfortunately, I will be taking off all my clothes and slipping into a northern lake at about that time this evening. The other sounds like fun, too, though.

harry palmer July 7, 2010 at 11:27 am

Maybe a migrating weeping eagle will shit on me here in flyover country. Although with my luck, it’ll be a weeping beagle.

MarieDeGournay July 7, 2010 at 11:28 am

Mmmm, Whoopie Pies.

JMP July 7, 2010 at 11:31 am

This makes me wish I was in Washington too. Ah well I will be getting drunk in the editors’ honor (at a preplanned, weekly quizzo game, but still).

WarAndG July 7, 2010 at 11:32 am

I’ll be there in spirits. From North Drunk Wisconsin.

charlesdegoal July 7, 2010 at 11:32 am

Too far. Sorry. Rain check.

tencentcomic July 7, 2010 at 11:34 am

I’m in town, but if you ever saw what I look like–or listened to my non-stop smart-ass remarks, it would ruin the party. Have fun!

Radiotherapy July 7, 2010 at 11:35 am

Where do I send my absentee ballot?

freakishlystrong July 7, 2010 at 11:35 am

Let’s hope the Salahis crash it and gorge on Whoopie Pie!

rcdl July 7, 2010 at 11:36 am

Hopefully the oil spill on U St and 12th will be cleaned up by then. It wasn’t BP this time, it smells more like Crisco.

Johnny Zhivago July 7, 2010 at 11:38 am

Cardozo station? Is this in Mexico?

WhatTheHeck July 7, 2010 at 11:40 am

Do I have to wear shoes? Can I wear a tank-top?
I know Wonkette has a ‘No clothes, no service’ policy.

Ye Olde Fap-Smith July 7, 2010 at 11:41 am

Man, if my the conditions of my bail didn’t preclude my leaving the state of GA, I’d attend like the dickens. As things stand, I’ll have to get loaded locally. Cheers!

Monsieur Grumpe July 7, 2010 at 11:41 am

I’ll hoist a beer in the eastern direction in salute to our brave Wonkettes. Why don’t you set up a live feed so we can watch (document for possible black mailing purposes) the festivities?

proudgrampa July 7, 2010 at 11:43 am

Sorry, can’t make it. But about that time I will be slipping into a nice, dry martini. Good luck to all.

TrailerSpawned July 7, 2010 at 11:45 am

As as marginally related PSA, I would suggest everyone make the whoopie pies from the official Marshmallow Fluff web site. Double the filling. Thank me later.

SayItWithWookies July 7, 2010 at 11:46 am

I’m seriously thinking about going, although it’s courting death to make the two-hour drive in an un-air-conditioned car. My other plan was to stand in my yard under the sprinkler with a bottle of wine and a glass of chipped ice.

Cherry Garcia July 7, 2010 at 11:50 am

I want to go, but what if I am the only girl there, and all the boys will sit at one table and talk about me – in Spanish – and point and snicker and won’t come sit at my table. That’s it Wonkette, I am canceling your party!
Jan Brewer

AnnieGetYourFun July 7, 2010 at 11:52 am

[re=612881]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Either one sounds pretty good, actually. If you included a loaded gun int he second option, you could almost run for a Republican seat in the House.

weejee July 7, 2010 at 11:56 am

We tried to send you salmon for C’Addle, but they got pinched by the same TSAer who pinched Bibi’s Glocks. Neilist, Neilist, I knows your out there somewhere you TSA gun nutter!!

Vulpes82 July 7, 2010 at 11:57 am

PLEASE TELL ME THERE WILL BE VIDEO!!!!111!! We losers who don’t live in Washington have GOT to see that panel at least. Also, I’m intensely curious to hear what some of you sound like/see what some of you look like.

V572625694 July 7, 2010 at 12:00 pm

You should probably add a list of winners with the disclaimer “Scheduled to appear” after each name. It’s not hard to see the Weagles growing into an Oscar-like (or maybe WHCA-like) event each year: tuxedos in a fancy hotel ballroom, losers looking elated when their names are not called, weepy acceptance speeches…

Nah, better to keep it like it is/will be.

Doglessliberal July 7, 2010 at 12:00 pm

SOME of you people need to show up. In the event I manage to get away from work early (doubtful) and haul my butt through 102 heat on the Metro, I want a good crowd. Come on, Wonketeers!

S.Luggo July 7, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Right. Three and a half hours with a bunch of sots when I could be drinking alone.

PS: Will there be Furries?

Snarkalicious July 7, 2010 at 12:01 pm

[re=612886]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Needz moar pederasty.

biscuits July 7, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Say it with Wookies needs to be there. Just saying.

Joey Ratz July 7, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Sounds like fun. Maybe I can hitch a ride with Ken as he drives to DC from his Nevada bunker?

thefrontpage July 7, 2010 at 12:08 pm

Did someone remember to invite all of the people from Late Night Shots?


AnnieGetYourFun July 7, 2010 at 12:10 pm

[re=612896]Doglessliberal[/re]: It is moments like this that I sort of wish I lived in the OTHER Washington.

freakishlystrong July 7, 2010 at 12:10 pm

[re=612892]Vulpes82[/re]: They will be handing out furrie costumes on the red carpet to conceal the wonketts identities.

Dingus McHatred July 7, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Could you change the time so that it coincides with my 3:00 o’clock meeting on how we’ll defraud the American taxpayer with the socialism (i.e.budget)? If so, I’ll BE THERE!

SlouchingTowardsWasilla July 7, 2010 at 12:12 pm

Are we allowed to go even if we haven’t said anything funny in several months?

thefrontpage July 7, 2010 at 12:17 pm

Did someone remember to invite Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter?

You know, for the naked jello wrestling.

mumblyjoe July 7, 2010 at 12:17 pm

This is the saddest I’ve ever been to live and work in New York. No, really; it’s a pretty rockin’ city, and not a swamp filled with congressional staffers. Not being able to attend the Weagles is literally the worst thing about it, after i-bankers.

I will, however, be there in spirit. By which I mean, I plan on getting shitfaced at home and yelling at someone about politics.

S.Luggo July 7, 2010 at 12:17 pm

[re=612881]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You forgot the DC rush hour traffic, mixed with sound of 2nd Amendment gunfire from just over the Virginia border.

SayItWithWookies July 7, 2010 at 12:22 pm

[re=612886]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Hey, I could run as a teabagger — I believe in the Constitution and think we should all learn more history, and am pretty fed up with the Democrats running the country. Hmmm…

BlueStateLiberal July 7, 2010 at 12:25 pm

How about a live blog so we can join you in spirt(s)?

Jim89048 July 7, 2010 at 12:31 pm

This shit better at least be liveblogged. I’m looking at YOU, Riley.

GuyClinch July 7, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Okay, I’m going to drag my sweaty ass up there, dagnabbit. Pleeze have a boilermaker waiting for me. (I’ll be the tubby 40-something guy, not that that helps).

Texan Bulldoggette July 7, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Sounds like three hoots & a holler but too far away for me. Have fun!

rmontcal July 7, 2010 at 12:40 pm

Thom Hartmann is in town. Make sure he gets his invite!

Norbert July 7, 2010 at 12:44 pm

Are there any travel scholarships available for delegates from the former Eastern Bloc?

Lascauxcaveman July 7, 2010 at 1:16 pm

[re=612915]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Then you probably don’t want to know that I will be taking a running dive off this particular dock about 9pm your time. Temperature is expeted to be in the high 70′s; water temperature a bracing 64 degrees.

Maybe not as much fun as gulping down expensive liquor in a sweaty, noisy DC attic, but still.

weejee July 7, 2010 at 2:40 pm

[re=612994]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Looks suspiciously like Lake Crescent. Water 64°, for what, like the top foot, maybe, before you hit the thermocline?

Brendan M. July 7, 2010 at 2:42 pm

[re=612994]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: All I’ve got is a dirty river to swim in….why’d I click on your damn link? Was I hoping for porn? Probably. Well, it was pornography for those without air conditioning, anyway.

chascates July 7, 2010 at 2:43 pm

Wait till Newell gets drunk(er) and starts saying how it took 4 or 5 people to replace him!

RoscoePColtraine July 7, 2010 at 2:55 pm

To protect my secret identity, I will be wearing my Clark Kent glasses disguise.

In truth, I shall not be in attendance at all, due to extreme lack of notice, and fear of what you guys are like in person.

Doglessliberal July 7, 2010 at 3:13 pm

[re=612864]tencentcomic[/re]: YOu don’t have to tell us who you are. Just say you are sayitwithwookies.

Lascauxcaveman July 7, 2010 at 4:58 pm

[re=613119]weejee[/re]: Yes, it is Lake Crescent; specifically at my mom’s house on the north shore. Also correct on the water temp. First thermocline is about a foot down where you lose about 5°, then you hit an INSANELY cold one at about 70 feet, if you’re scuba diving w/o a wetsuit, like we do here.

MortSinclair July 7, 2010 at 7:02 pm

Damn! I live in freakin’ Massachusetts! That sucks! (At least for tonight). Heh.

AlexisHidell July 7, 2010 at 7:04 pm

Aw shit, I live too damn far away. I would have busted out the old prom dress for an event of this caliber, too…

Sharkey July 7, 2010 at 11:52 pm

We need a “this event is officially over” thread but something tells me, not till tomorrow AM.

Sorry I couldn’t make it, I work a “late shift” and I am also somewhat wary of strangers that I might be intimately involved with… on the net…

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