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You can make your own constitution out of paper towel rolls and construction paper!Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy has told “relatives and friends” that he is staying on the court until at least the end of President Obama’s term. Kennedy, of course, is the “swinger” vote on the Supreme Court—the guy who is conservative but less so than the other four on the court, so he sometimes joins the liberals, so he is more powerful than Obama and Justin Bieber put together. And thus for at least a couple-point-five more years, the entire nation will have to kiss up to Anthony Kennedy if they have a parking ticket they want waived or want their state not to kill them with death chemicals.

Of course, Anthony Kennedy could stay on for yet another four years if MaoBama gets another term. That is, if he doesn’t die; he is turning 74 this month. But he could probably just sell his soul like Dick Cheney to stay alive until another Republican takes office and ensure the Supreme Court will be reactionary for another half century or so.

Hooray! [NY Daily News]

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