Today the AP has a story about Greene (who, you will remember, is the South Carolina Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate and a practicing Daoist monk) with the BIG REVEAL that he was nicknamed “Turtle” in high school, according to his tennis coach, because yes, Alvin Greene was the only black kid on the high school tennis team. She “barely recalls” Greene (“A leader is best when people barely know that he exists”—Ch. 17, DDJ) and said “he wasn’t outgoing and he was picked on unmercifully.” But as somebody acutely more enlightened than the lesser beings who bullied him, Greene likely couldn’t even sense it. If he could, it probably amused him that such people were so unnerved by a simple lack of chit chat on his part.
This “Turtle” nickname is intriguing, however. This random website found on Google tells us that in China “the tortoise had divine attributes.” “Tortoise shell is a symbol of unchangeability.” Unchangeable, just like Alvin Greene. These young ruffians had no knowledge of Daoism, yet Greene exuded the nature of this important Chinese symbol to such an extent that they somehow knew he was a turtle, in a mystic sense. [AP]
- A South Carolina millionaire Democrat and “supermarket heiress” (she’s inherited a supermarket, Politico?), Linda Ketner, announced she would not run as an independent against Greene and sitting Senator Jim DeMint. And who wouldn’t be afraid of running against a man who wins elections despite (because of) a total lack of effort put into his candidacy? [Shira Toeplitz]
- The state party chairwoman will not seek re-election as she is out of sync with The Way. [Myrtle Beach Sun News]
- And the South Carolina Republican Party website has been so struck by Alvin Greene that they are now campaigning for him. THE DAO IS MYSTERIOUS! Here is the image they made for him and Democratic gubernatorial candidate Vincent Sheheen, along with helpful instructions:
TURTLE KID
July 6, 2010
{ 37 comments }
I like to watch.
Slow but steady wins the race.
God, I hope this guy wins the whole thing. It would be like “Forrest Gump”, only with fewer shots of Nixon.
Where do I send the check, turtle?
GREENe, DeMINT … surely there’s something spiritual going on there.
Ha! I knew this could somewhow be tied to the Emanuels. Goddammed Ari.
Greene had the “Turtle” nickname because his mastery of Daoist principles gave him the skills to be one of the world’s greatest ninja, he had the mutant ability to win without even trying, and he was a teenager at the time, obviously.
He’s got the child zombie vote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y
Does anyone have name rec numbers on Greene and DeMint? I’m just curious as to when Al will turn the corner that is not a corner on that one.
Sounds like he has Asperger’s Syndrome. He would be a really interesting senator.
From the AP article: “I want a debate. A September debate,” Greene said the day after his win, a smile twinkling on the edge of his lips. “A good September debate, just compare and contrast the issues.”
Unlikely to happen the way I imagine it, which is he’s playing dumb until that debate, then he goes all Rhetorical Ninja on Demented and blows away the political press. Afterwards, his dad takes him to McD’s for chicken fingers and he returns to his monosyllabic non-campaigning.
Isn’t Mitch McConnell The Turtle?
There’s a very famous — and oddly pertinent — taoist tale relating to Chuang-tzu and someone asking him to hold political office, wherein he draws an analogy with a famous turtle.
http://www.osholeela.com/poetry/chuangtzu/cz18.html
But y’all knew that and cleverly decided not to mention it, since he who alludes does not know, and he who knows does not allude. I bow to your wisdom.
See the TURTLE of enormous girth!
On his shell he holds the earth.
His thought is slow but always kind;
He holds us all within his mind.
On his back all vows are made;
He sees the truth but mayn’t aid.
He loves the land and loves the sea,
And even loves a child like me.
[re=612411]trondant[/re]: Are you suggesting that he is the Anton Chigurh of political discourse. Because I could get behind that.
[re=612416]SayItWithWookies[/re]: There is more wisdom in Wonkette than in all the libraries of the world.
Obama/Greene 2012!
If you pet your turtle too much you’ll get hair on your palm.
[re=612441]JMP[/re]: is that Yertle the Turtle?
“Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.”
Alvin is wise like the turtle.
The follower of knowledge learns as much as he can every day;
The follower of the Way forgets as much as he can every day.
By attrition he reaches a state of inaction
Wherein he does nothing, but nothing remains undone.
To conquer the world, accomplish nothing;
If you must accomplish something,
The world remains beyond conquest.
[re=612449]Way Cool Larry[/re]: No; it’s from Stephen King.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_The_Dark_Tower_characters#Maturin
When you can snatch the pebble from my hand, young turtle………..
[re=612445]Snarkalicious[/re]: Now that you mention it, sure. Friendo.
the guardian’s story on him is better http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jul/06/alvin-greene-south-carolina-senate
he doesn’t deny the sex charges, he just says that rehab should be an option for first offenders.
[re=612528]flinkybinger[/re]: Hey, check this out. Wanna toss my salad, now?
Rehab please. This is the first time I’ve dropped that line, I swear.
[re=612447]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Greene/Balloon 2016!
Actually Alvin does seem pretty articulate for a South Carolinian, at least judging by the standards of Miss South Carolina 2007, Caitlin Upton. Besides, what about South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like such as? How will we be able to build up our future, for our children? The Dao says nothing in answer to these questions.
He seems more like Gamera–mild mannered, quiet, and then one day, watch out! Lasers will shoot out of his mouth. Also, friend to all children.
[re=612594]Bazurkha[/re]: Also, full of meat.
“…people were so unnerved by a simple lack of chit chat on his part.”
The Tao that can be spoken of is not the true Tao.
[re=612448]cheeto_jeebus[/re]: Wait, I know we’re not supposed to tease the panther; are you saying don’t tease the turtle either?
[re=612514]trondant[/re]: how’s the election gonna go?
“call it.”
The GOP is campaigning for Greene.
Uh.
You would almost think they want a strong showing so that they could argue that there was no monkey business, or so they could boast of their power. This is Lee Atwater’s state, folks. This is the “I heard McCain had an illegitimate black baby” state. This is the Bob Jones U. state. This is where the cities go one way, the state goes another, and the state wins, because the cities have large groups of “I wanna tax cut” imports and Yuppies.
Oh, duh.
The “GREENE/ sheheene” is supposed to…
wait for it….
associate the Democratic candidate for Governor with the “joke” Greene (who is negro). See? Get it? It’s humor, South Carolina, Republican humor. Sheheene, who has a chance to kick the butt of the fractured, silly, fringe, scandal-draped Republicans for governor, can be ridiculed by association. Oh, those SC Republicans!
[re=612410]Olive[/re]: He certainly can’t be any worse than the one’s we’ve currently got…
[re=612701]Geogre[/re]: Wait, the republicans picked Alvin out of the crowd of potential unemployed mules because his name would rhyme?
There’s also this: http://greene2010.tumblr.com/
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