Innocent Teabaggers Betrayed By Evil Doctor Rand Paul With Fundraiser

At one time, Kentucky U.S. Senate candidate Rand Paul was the hero of Teabaggers everywhere, but now they are sad and (wait for it) angry that he has accepted campaign contributions from people at a fundraiser IN WASHINGTON, DC, OF ALL PLACES. How could he go there and do that to us? Rand Paul is obviously not a TRUE Teabagger. But how is it possible that Teabaggers, who are smart enough to know exactly how to fix our government, could be duped by this doctor man? They don't know, but they are hurt.

David Roos, a retired minister in Murray who has been active in the Tea Party movement, said it didn't escape notice in his circle that Paul had, as he put it, "capitulated to the establishment."

Oh no!

But Roos said the incident isn't enough to drive conservative voters away from Paul. They don't see [Democratic nominee Jack] Conway as a viable alternative because he is more liberal, so the choice is to vote for Paul or stay home, he said.

Oh no!

"Most of us will support him in spite of that. We'll take 80 percent of a loaf rather than none," Roos said. "We'll probably have to hold our noses."

Probably. You will probably have to eat the Rand Paul bread in this weird ministerial analogy. It's probably moldy, so that's why you just eat 80 percent.

Meanwhile, Rand Paul's people are assuring Teabaggers that when they took these people's money, they told them they wouldn't follow these people and their evil statist beliefs. Though apparently big Republican donors in D.C. are stupid and can't understand Rand Paul's commitment to the cause.

RIIIIIIGHT.

But perhaps Teabaggers won't allow Rand Paul to continue to be the Republican candidate. These people are not prone to violence of course, but perhaps they could buy a gun and shoot it just this once ? If, God forbid, something were to happen to Rand Paul, the Republican party would certainly nominate this Teabagger retired minister or one of his Teabagger friends to U.S. Senate, because they are very important, especially when compared to Republican donors in D.C. [ McClatchy ]