The next Fourth of July is only 363 days away! And you still don’t know the Declaration of Independence, or who we declared the independence from, or anything else, really, you’ve never really been counted among America’s “best and brightest.” But this video message by the House Republicans can help you memorize that Declaration thingie by next year–in an abridged format that highlights the best parts and won’t bore the crap out of everybody (the Declaration of Independence is pretty much an overly long listicle). Most inspiring is Michele Bachmann’s passionate contribution to this little patriotism movie, which makes clear that she’s still totally opposed to “taxation without representation” and all that other crap, and should be your model as you memorize the words.
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Not a whole lotta melanin in that video.
Ugly white people with problems.
These are the people who screamed “Read the Bill!” They didn’t read the whole Declaration! I guess there aren’t enough House Republicans to read the whole thing?
She went out and got her a Bristol Palin wig.
But I so WANNA quarter troops in private homes without the owner’s consent. Just imagine how many we could fit in the Limbaugh compound!
That was very inspiring and as soon as I finish my Cheetos and get up off this couch I’m going to……aw nevermind.
It started off with “…all men are created equal…”
…but some men are more equal than others. The white animals have spoken.
[re=612180]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: And the rest of them got Bristol Palin acting lessons. “Don’t just think you’re a robot, BE a robot.”
Taxation without representation. Isn’t she a representative? What the fuck???
[re=612189]freakishlystrong[/re]: she never grasped that part of the election . she thinks she’s there to not represent … and she’s doing a bang up job of it
Oh good. I’m glad to see Ms. Bachmann and I are finally in agreement. Taxation without representation really is terrible, so I’m sure that Bachmann will soon express her enthusiasm for DC voting rights.
I’m waiting.
Okay, fine, but can I at least get out of paying Federal taxes?
Teabaggers love long listicles.
[re=612184]user-of-owls[/re]: I’m kinda robophobic, but I can see their achilles heel now. I doubt they’ll be able to survive parasitic nematodes. Yo-Yo.
The latest Republican circle-jerk — read by our noble, loyal partiot representatives who need cue cards to read a couple of lines (of course without a socialist Obamaprompter as a crutch) — from their comic book agenda. Just more proof that some white folks still want to live in the past.
They forgot the part about stirring up the merciless Indian savages.
I was in a parade this weekend (don’t ask), in Michele Bachman’s district, the element right ahead of MB. Made me thankful for flatulence.
How odd that no one read this part… the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
Lookit, those really are inspiring words. We haven’t always lived up to the letter of what those men wrote, but we always strive to fulfill the spirit. Including a civil war to make real the ideal of equality.
It’s a shame the House Republicans felt compelled to speak separately on the one day a year that most defines us as a Nation. This is the time to see ourselves as one people, and for all of us to live up the letter and strive for that spirit of unity. Shame on you GOP for forgetting “We The People” is everyone.
1:05, TelePrompTer!
It’s a good reminder from people who would’ve been good Loyalists if they were around back in the 1770s/80s.
Is it just me or is Bachmann resembling one of the pig people from that Twilight Zone episode more and more every day?
Needs moar “He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.”
For some reason, I couldn’t get the sound but that’s just something with my computer, it happens some times, and I’m thinking this is probably not a good time to get it fixed.
Who ARE these people? I recognize Big Daddy Cantor and Crazy Eyes Bachman, but you can’t really expect me to believe the rest of these people are elected Congressional representative. You guys. April Fools day was like 8 months ago. Seriously.
Krazee-Eyez Killa!
If this was supposed to convince me that House Republicans can read, it didn’t work.
This bunch stating that “all men are created equal” raises hypocrisy to a new height, as they don’t believe any of it and are proof of the contrary.
Speaking of listicles, here’s a list of things House Republicans are really OK with:
Refusing Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good (HCR, unemployment extension, etc.)
Refusing to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People; unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only (districts like DC)
Endeavouring to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither (dirty illegals!)
Obstructing the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers (like Guantanamo!)
Affecting to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power (Gitmo again!)
Combining with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws (extraordinary rendition!)
Depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury (e.g. malpractice)
Suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Powers to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever (especially where marijuana is involved)
Abdicating Government here, by declaring us out of their Protection and waging War against us (because we just ain’t “real Americans”)
Plundering our Seas, ravaging our Coasts, burning our Towns, and destroying the Lives of our People (OK, so they just deregulated and privatized and outsourced that to BP)
Transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized Nation (How’s Blackwater working out for us?)
Exciting domestic Insurrections among us (from glorifying the CSA to urging “Second Amendment solutions”)
So… yeah. TJ and the Continental Congress have given us their OK to shoot the bastards, or at least transport them to places still held by the Crown.
I don’t know about you, but I’m really riled up to go fight against the lobsterbacks and free our country from the British Empire. Huzzah!
[re=612180]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: That’s exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking that this was the Bristol Palin acting debut again and I was really confused. I now know it wasn’t but I’m still really confused.
I’m going to ignore all context and past history and consider this a rallying cry for D.C. statehood, as only a gang of assholes could allow 600,000 people to pay taxes without representation. Vive le DC libre!
They have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do.
Right. Like Health Care Reform. (Although Guppy06 makes the point better.)
I’m amazed that they somehow did that entire without mentioning the 2nd Amendment. How pissed do you think the NRA is?
Hey Michele, Marsha, and the rest of the Congressional XX chromosome crowd: our Founding Fathers stated that all men are created equal. So STFU, get back in the kitchen, and fix me a turkey pot pie.
Loved this wonkette post.
Ms. Bachmann has a history of amusing misstatements which would be funny if they were (a) actual misstatements not her honest opinion or (b) the mutterings of my old aunt or (c) at least not from an elected official.
How the heck does this nut get re-elected?
Anyhow, here is a story about Bachmann that is fact-based but also funny:
http://www.dailygoat.com/2010/07/michele-bachmann-breaks-up-with-global-economy-global-economy-secretly-relieved/
Loved this wonkette post. (Sorry if this is duplicate post, not sure it went through the first time).
Ms. Bachmann has a history of amusing misstatements which would be funny if they were (a) actual misstatements not her honest opinion or (b) the mutterings of my old aunt or (c) at least not from an elected official.
How the heck does this nut get re-elected?
Anyhow, here is a story about Bachmann that is fact-based but also funny:
dailygoat.com/2010/07/michele-bachmann-breaks-up-with-global-economy-global-economy-secretly-relieved/
Who’s the chick that had to utter the word “rectitude”? Is it just me or did it seem like she got a little off on that first syllable of the word like it might have led to another syllable pronounced, “um”?
Who are the two old lesbians around the 0:47 mark? Did the filmmakers wander into a Sneaky Pie Brown book signing?
I watched this with the sound off … and I could still tell that Ms. Bachmann is bat-shit crazy.
[re=612181]user-of-owls[/re]: It is so tiresome to hunt down those military guys to have my way with them. It is much more convenient when they invade my home and insist on spending the night. Why is it that the most important parts of our founding documents have fallen out of favor over the years? On the downside, some horny recruits will end up having to spend the night in the households of Larry Craig or Lindsey Graham.
The whole thing screams TELEPROMPTER!
Ms. Bachmann has a history of amusing misstatements which would be funny if they were (a) actual misstatements not her honest opinion or (b) the mutterings of my old aunt or (c) at least not from an elected official.
How the heck does this nut get re-elected?
Anyhow, here is a story about Bachmann that is fact-based but also very FUNNY:
http://www.dailygoat.com/2010/07/michele-bachmann-breaks-up-with-global-economy-global-economy-secretly-relieved/
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