- Joe Biden is in Iraq, and he is pretty sure that, once the U.S.’s “combat mission” ends (some might say this mission will be “accomplished”) on August 31st, people will acknowledge it as a victory for America, and for the Obama administration. Joe Biden also said that the midterms will not be a “debacle” for the Democrats, that what’s-his-name will beat Rand Paul, and that Harry Reid has a 55 percent chance of beating some lunatic who wants to shut down Social Security and kill Harry Reid with a gun. Then Biden started rambling on about the Easter Rising in Ireland, which we guess means that Democratic candidates will all be killed after briefly seizing control of the main Washington post office, only to finally get their own country five years later, after a nasty civil war. [Politico/Politico]
- Are you a lonely person who gets super-excited when credit card offers arrive at your house on Saturday morning? Well, the Post Office might have some bad news for you. [NYT]
- Israel’s prime minister is about to arrive in the U.S. for a meeting with President Obama that will surely solve all problems in the Middle East, forever. [BBC]
- If you live in the D.C. area, try not to go outside, as it will be ungodly hot. If you simply must leave your air-conditioned dwelling, avoid breathing, as the local atmosphere will be extremely foul. [AP]
- The Supreme Court will decide whether it’s OK for the State of Georgia to execute a guy who lost much of his state-funded defense teams because the state government couldn’t afford them anymore. [NYT]
April 17, 2014
Joe Biden Is Extremely Optimistic About Everything
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